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Multiple Lines Per Player: A Limericks Special Edition
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Here's an experiment with the Limerick form. In this game (and this one only) it is permissible for players to contribute more than one line each to each limerick, just to see if we can increase the level of coherence in this much-loved form as practised in the Morniverse. Everything else is the same as normal... Take it away!
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[Marc]
You see in the Limerick Biz.
We contributors get in a tizz -
When the rhythm's the shits
It just gets on our tits,
I'm sorry, but that's how it is.
Oops - sorry, Juxta - I'll repost yours
When praying, it's best, I have found
To lower one's head to the ground
No worries, I like yours better anyway ;)
Lift one's legs in the air
And balance with care
You'll be free with just one simple bound
Take some butter and cheese, and some crackers
Some paté; say, liver of quackers
A bottle of Krug
Carneros - 92 (or Pinot Noir twothousandandtwooo?)
A traditional meal for back-packers.....
How is Krug pronounced these days?
I can't help but sing while I Hoover
I often dance too - quite a mover!
Then last time - how unlucky Where I come from it’s pronounced crew that elegantly
As I hoovered - quite plucky would rhyme clue or ninety-two (which was a very good vintage by the way!)

• I can't help but sing while I Hoover
• I often dance too - quite a mover!
• Then last time - quite unlucky
• As I hoovered - so plucky
I got sucked in a vacuum manouevre
It's dark and it's dusty in here
You ain't got a Dyson™, that's clear
So get one you must
Or live knee-deep in dust
Look on ebay, they ain't very dear
This widgeon is quite undercooked
The stuffing has been overlooked
And in short, this poor bird
Still alive, so I’ve heard,
And the cook imprisoned and booked
There once was a lim’rick line writer
Who claimed writing lines so much brighter
Discarding his Quink™
he used luminous ink
And was known as a brilliant old blighter
The real problem with pigments and dyes
Is bad taste is the cause of sore eyes
Screaming pink with charteuse
+r
You inflict on your foes
At the risk of them taking the rise
There once was a widow-molester
Who tried to get hold of Aunt Esther
But she wouldn't let
The horny old get
Get out of her house till he'd laid her
Now then, Mr Software, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way......
The rhyming police has no right ...tough ending Mr Soft, hope you'll get out soon!
to handcuff submitters each night
The scansion cop, though
Is really the foe
And causes non-scanning individuals to find themselves in a bit of a sorry plight.
The time of the day when I walk
You’ll find is the time as I talk
to myself - so distracted
[Projoy] I am typing this in the most amiable mood imaginable, not with any malice, although with some alcohol. I seem to be alone in wondering why the Rhyme Police didn't have words with you, regarding "Chartreuse : foes" as a rhyme? However, I can't think of any English word Chartreuse does rhyme with. Americans, apparently would rhyme it with "deuce", but not me.
[Phil] I would think words like "infers" or "concurs" would be acceptable (though not exact) rhymes.
[Phil] Entirely my ignorance. Never having heard it pronounced, I had always assumed it was "shar-trose".
[CdM] Ah yes, thank you.
[Projoy] If you're in on the Ratby(post-Rugby)pilg, I'll crack open a bottle :-)
[Marc] As it seems everybody else are busy talking to themselves why shouldn’t you? Don’t you believe they are advocating about the fine set of words Chart Re-use? In the olden days when we were still writing limerick lines and not just chatting I’m sure someone would have written a bunch of stupid lines like: Whenever I’m getting the Blues, I mix some Juice with some Booze, once I fell and got a Bruise, and as I have a short Fuse, my pink Moose I turned Loose then started to Snooze, but no sane or sober contributor would ever be able to create such bullshit without any traces of wit, scansion and rhyme, don’t you think? And besides, why should anyone want to re-use old charts?
[Projoy] Just ignore these strange voices: they're imaginary really and I'm sure they'll go away eventually. :)
With chaos redacted
All the rhythm is knocked into baulk Assuming the scansion police are too busy dealing with the above riot
Your logic is incomprehensible
Your methods are quite indefensible
Your mission's heretical
Your product non-ethical [SW] well played , sir! That was a tricky :-)
But somehow it's quite indispensible
Uranus was born of his Gaia
Whilst Kronos had him as his sire
This put him at odds
With the rest of the gods
Who all said his dad was a liar
[Software] Ditto what Chalky said.
Appollo was never in need
With his chariot of fiery steed
One lash of his whip
Was destined to clip

A horse of incredible breed

I think I've said it before
You can't beat the power of Thor
On really tough stains
Pure fact still remains
Well beaten the shit is no more
Odin, "The god you can trust"

Whose visit is surely a must

To Freya, the beauty
Who wiggles her booty
And ends up all covered in dust
An arrogant godling called Zeus
Is once again out on the loose
Flaunting grandiose powers,
Giving swans golden showers,
Ruling all from his Mount O-lym-poos
Athena [who sprang from his head]
Is kept chained up in my shed
The reason you see
We do not agree,
Using red or black (or red?) silk-sheets in bed
Odin by far is lewdest of all www.pantheon.org/articles/o/odin.html
Frigg and Jord he gave a great ball
Then he sired a kid
By the Giantess, Grid
By giving her one 'gainst the wall ooh - that was SO rude of me
Our Giantess moaned and then said :
"I think that I’ll bite off your head," [Chalky]We thought Odin was the one and never expected this rudeness from you...
"But before that wee bite
I think that I might
Have four pints of lager instead"
There
once was
a feller from
Caen,
Who
juggled two
logs then went on ... u. s. a. alert
He
next tried with
sticks,
to perform
cunning tricks
But
missed as he
asked what he'd won

A
Who
     When
     It
So

A young
Who was
When all
It went
So sad

A young whippersnapper
Who was singing
    When all others
    It went "Take
So sad his
A young whippersnapper named
Who was singing off-key
When all others lamented
It went "Take Your
So sad his pathetic
A young whippersnapper named
Who was singing off-key
When all others lamented
It went "Take Your
So sad his pathetic
That might have worked if everyone had stuck to the same syllable count when adding. This is my feeble attempt to pull it together:

A young whippersnapper named Jake
Who was singing off-key at Ted's wake
When all others lamented.
It went "Take your rent, Ted" [the off-key song]
So sad his pathetic mistake.
[Chalky] Silk purse out of sow's ear, IMO, good stuff. Let's try another. Maybe we'll get better at it if we practice.
There
Who
     The
     All
And
There was
Who threw
     The old
     All five
And tied
Chalky] Nice finish.
There was a sting-ray
Who threw shrimp
The old octopi
All five chose
And tied that ray
[irach]hope you were aiming at something better than this?
There was a sting-ray named Irach
Who threw shrimp-pate at his flock
The old octopi (and four mates)
All five chose to die (as shark baits)
And tied that ray-gun to his jock
we may need some more practice?
[Randy] I'd have it a little differently:
There was a sting-ray, not so bright,
Who threw shrimp all around in a fight
The old octopi
(All five) chose not to die
And tied that ray up for the night
(still far from brilliant, but scans better :) )

You
Till
    But
    And
So

You said
Till the
    But I
    And you
So I'll
You said you would
Till the cows mooed
But I won't
And you will
So I'll wait in
You said you would stay
Till the cows mooed "Old
But I won't go
And you will just
So I'll wait in York

You said you would stay incognito
Till the cows mooed "Old Faithful" to Tito
But I won't go by
And you will just cry
So I'll wait in York Station. Finito.

[Blob]Excellent ‘finito’ considering raw-material provided!
A humble suggestion: Let’s try it from rear end for once:
vacation,
temptation,
fear,
near,
salvation!

...summer vacation
...to temptation
...never fear
...is near
...your salvation!

...on a summer vacation
...yield to temptation
...safe, never fear
Wonder Woman is near
...be your salvation!
...go on a summer vacation
...not yield to temptation
...are safe, never fear
Wonder Woman is near
...will be your salvation!
 (boring set of moves, that)
Batman, go on a summer vacation
Robin will not yield to temptation
Caves are safe, never fear
Wonder Woman is near
Her magic will be your salvation!
[irach] Well done, squire!
[everyone] How about a first - last - first - last - first word effort? Work backwards from the last words, forwards from the first...? I'm confident in you guys...

There
hated
The
fruit
Of
There was...
...was hated
The waste...
...was fruit
Of what...
There was a...
...truly was hated
The waste basket...
...rotten was fruit
Of what rancid...
hope it's not presumptuous to try finishing
There was a boss whose worth equated
With how much he truly was hated
The waste basket chute
Was rotten was fruit
Of what rancid answers he baited
OK, acrostic time; remember, the subject matter must reflect the word in the acrostic:

S
W
I
F
T

Speeding
While
In
Forever
Tachometers
Speeding down
While the rain
In the dark
Forever
Tachometers
Speeding down country
While the rain spatters
In the dark I
Forever aglow
Tachometers telling
(assuming a stress on "down" there, btw)
I just looked at my last post... "Was rotten was fruit"?? Oi, somehow I read it as "Was rotten WITH fruit", which you must admit makes a lot more sense... now back to your regularly scheduled players with talent.
My first attempt at this manner of Limerick writing. Here goes.
Speeding down country lanes in my lorry
While the rain spatters o'er Tobermory
In the dark I'm gung ho -
Forever aglow -
Tachometers telling their story
[Phil] A splendid effort - first or not.
What's next?
Well done Phil! (but as always winner must start the next, mustn't they... ;-)
Ok then, here goes for another acrostic:
My
Or
Neither
Even
Yet
My fortune
Or else
Neither rust
Even taxes
Yet I
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else
Neither rust
Even taxes
Yet I
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else all my hopes are to fade
Neither rust nor
Even taxes must
Yet I still
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else all my hopes are to fade
Neither rust nor moth doth corrupt
Even taxes must...
Yet I still....
sorry Marc- your stray 'moth' is making life awful difficult for us feeble souls that would wish to complete - any chance of revising?
Please Chalky, feel free to ignore my awfully difficult line. I thought you needed a few xtra syllables to be able to finish line 4? Good luck!
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else all my hopes are to fade
Neither rust nor revising
Even taxes must...
Yet I still...
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else all my hopes are to fade
Neither rust nor to get laid
Even taxes must be paid
Yet I still...
interesting concept with 5 rhyming lines....
My fortune is yet to be made
Or else all my hopes are to fade
Neither rust nor to get laid
(Even taxes must be paid)
Yet I still live my life as a maid
5 rhyming lines is acceptable - however, lines 3 & 4 with 3 beats each is not.
Another acrostic,shall we?
P
A
N
I
C
let's shall.
Perhaps
About
No
I fear
Could
(3,3,3,3,3, so far - so good)
Perhaps when
About time
No longer
I fear that
Could never
Perhaps when our
About time that
No longer will
I fear that swan's
Could never be

[Iroulay] Make it easy, why don't you? :-)

Perhaps when our experts arrive
About time! That means it's past five?
"No longer" Will said,
"I fear that swan's dead."
"Could never be classed as alive"


What
Who
When
Why
How
What matter
Who mutter
When nutters
Why splutter
How utterly
What matter those
Who stutter "F-f-flutter
When nutters whose
Why splutter those
How utterly buttered
What matter those guttersnipe's chatter
Who stutter "F-f-flutter
When nutters whose twitters
Why splutter those
How utterly buttered's my
What matter those guttersnipe's chatter
Who stutter "F-f-flutter" Such patter!
When nutters whose twitters
Why splutter those bitters
How utterly buttered's my batter
[Chalky] Well done, never thought this attempt could be landed safely!
Just a reminder of where we started:
This ‘peri-mental Limerick form
Trying to find its steady-state norm,

Can't help but to flux,
And thus the game's crux -
To gain a safe harbor mid-storm.
How about a seasonal acrostic?

A
P
R
I
L

A Springtime
Pretty
Rosebuds
Incredible
Lovely
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