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Multiple Lines Per Player: A Limericks Special Edition
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Here's an experiment with the Limerick form. In this game (and this one only) it is permissible for players to contribute more than one line each to each limerick, just to see if we can increase the level of coherence in this much-loved form as practised in the Morniverse. Everything else is the same as normal... Take it away!
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Prays a man: "Dear Lord, tell me when
Will I understand why
Barbie passes me by
Just what does she see in that Ken?
There once was a virgin from Stowe
Who felt a great itch down below
This peculiar feeling
Though quite appealing
Would come and then go, come and go
There once was a pig in a poke
Who was handy a telling a joke:
He told one to me
And I laughed, Yes-sir-ee,
‘til my T bone and Pork bone was broke
There was an old Pharaoh of Thebes
Who was mad about Great Crested Grebes
He cared not a bit
For a Booby or Tit
As did (so they say), Ann of Cleves
When blue-footed boobies fly over
Or even a rare piping plover
Don't look to the sky
Just lower your eye
And hum to the tune of 'Wild Rover'
There once was a Rover who swore
That no never would he rove no more How folky am I? :-)
Though barely so spoken
His promise was broken
When he roved where he hadn't before
Digging in to a bowl of hot chili
I'd bought in the Isles of Scilly
I found a small lump
Looking just like a pump
But it tasted like shrimp-stewed Ram-Willie
*applauds the 'Rovers'*
The Rover's Return to the Inn
Was thus met with a quarrelsome din
As he retold his life
Came a shriek from his wife
- He'd stuck her, not the doll, with a pin.
A bishop, while studying voodoo
Found himself knee-deep in doo-doo
"Exorcise me!" he cried,
"for this demon inside
is nasty and pooey and crude, ooh!"
With just tuppence for paper and strings
You can make up your own pair of wings
So dance on the breeze
Over houses and trees
Then crash in the midst of angels that sings
Marc - Her chastity-belt he had locked, another story begins...
But when he came back he was shocked
To his utter dismay
('twas on Valentine's Day)
He found that the padlock was crocked
sorry Marc, but your last line to me and Projoy's Mary Poppins lim not only didn't scan but was also a bit non-secateury. As the good book says - 'if in doubt, don't post' [which really means - if you can't nail it , butt out ]:-)
sorry Chalky, nevertheless I've posted it in good spirit and for sure it is not better than any of yours or Projoys lines but it is not so bad that anyone should bather commenting it the way you just did ;-)
www.nonsenselit.org/Lear/limerick/limerick.html
She went to the locksmiths one day
And said: “Can you please find a way,”
He took out his pick - [Marc] my comment reads a lot sharper than I intended, please forgive. It was the scansion that wasn't up to your usual standards.
[Chalky] Ironically, it almost scans according to the original tune! :)
She fondled his wick
He unlocked and she said “Let us pray!” [Pro/Chalky]It's called pacing...
When praying, it's best, I have found
To lower one's head to the ground
[Marc]
You see in the Limerick Biz.
We contributors get in a tizz -
When the rhythm's the shits
It just gets on our tits,
I'm sorry, but that's how it is.
Oops - sorry, Juxta - I'll repost yours
When praying, it's best, I have found
To lower one's head to the ground
No worries, I like yours better anyway ;)
Lift one's legs in the air
And balance with care
You'll be free with just one simple bound
Take some butter and cheese, and some crackers
Some paté; say, liver of quackers
A bottle of Krug
Carneros - 92 (or Pinot Noir twothousandandtwooo?)
A traditional meal for back-packers.....
How is Krug pronounced these days?
I can't help but sing while I Hoover
I often dance too - quite a mover!
Then last time - how unlucky Where I come from it’s pronounced crew that elegantly
As I hoovered - quite plucky would rhyme clue or ninety-two (which was a very good vintage by the way!)

• I can't help but sing while I Hoover
• I often dance too - quite a mover!
• Then last time - quite unlucky
• As I hoovered - so plucky
I got sucked in a vacuum manouevre
It's dark and it's dusty in here
You ain't got a Dyson™, that's clear
So get one you must
Or live knee-deep in dust
Look on ebay, they ain't very dear
This widgeon is quite undercooked
The stuffing has been overlooked
And in short, this poor bird
Still alive, so I’ve heard,
And the cook imprisoned and booked
There once was a lim’rick line writer
Who claimed writing lines so much brighter
Discarding his Quink™
he used luminous ink
And was known as a brilliant old blighter
The real problem with pigments and dyes
Is bad taste is the cause of sore eyes
Screaming pink with charteuse
+r
You inflict on your foes
At the risk of them taking the rise
There once was a widow-molester
Who tried to get hold of Aunt Esther
But she wouldn't let
The horny old get
Get out of her house till he'd laid her
Now then, Mr Software, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way......
The rhyming police has no right ...tough ending Mr Soft, hope you'll get out soon!
to handcuff submitters each night
The scansion cop, though
Is really the foe
And causes non-scanning individuals to find themselves in a bit of a sorry plight.
The time of the day when I walk
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