Is everyone here for the editorial meeting? Ok, good. Heavy news week this week, so only the best stories are going to get space. We'll start with Cheddar Headlines. Ten words max, and the headline can be self-explanatory as in 'The Independent', or horrendously convoluted, as in, erm, The Cheesy Headline Game. Once the headline is finished, I'd like a few words containing the story in a news style, please. Subs, clear your desks, and let's get the presses rolling. Spike it once we reach the usual back page move.
Fred Hoyle Chair of the Guensey Neighbourhood Watch described to your reporter his annoyance and fury with the authorities that have allowed the pirate radio station Radio Salad to continue to broadcast from the islands. According to Mr Hoyle the islands youth were being corrupted by not only Radio Salad's illegal playing of pop music but the announcers did not ever use proper Queens English. He also said the station has no repect of authority and their attacks on him personalied by distribution of Radio Salad bumper stickers "I Love Hoyle"
There was controversy again at the end of last night's X Furrow as one of the favourites Duster Lustre was voted off and sent home by the casting vote of judge Keenan Gareth who let through his own tractor Butter Bird. In retaliation for last weeks sillage incident outside Mornington Crescent, Duster Lustre's mentor Simple Cowbell released several wombats among the audience. Simple insisted that Duster was the better tractor in appearance and style and could pull Keenan's Bird anytime.