Is everyone here for the editorial meeting? Ok, good. Heavy news week this week, so only the best stories are going to get space. We'll start with Cheddar Headlines. Ten words max, and the headline can be self-explanatory as in 'The Independent', or horrendously convoluted, as in, erm, The Cheesy Headline Game. Once the headline is finished, I'd like a few words containing the story in a news style, please. Subs, clear your desks, and let's get the presses rolling. Spike it once we reach the usual back page move.
An unusually smooth coup d'etat occured in the Peoples Republic of Crudistan last week when a crowd of amateur players staged a special show to celebrate their beloved presidents birthday. The premier, 96 year-old Vladmir Tyrantski, was wheeled out onto the presidential palace balcony by his bodyguard but they panicked when the performance of the Mikado bagan. A spokesman for the new revolutionary government party, The New Crudistan Vaudeville Players, said: "All hell broke loose when the chorus of 'Behold! the Lord High Executioner' began. The guards seemed to get confused. First of all the president's wheelchair was tipped over the balcony and the national guard began piling their guns in the Square of the Brave Peoples of the Revolution 1917. The next thing we knew was that Nanki Poo (played by Yuri N'thashit) had been hoisted up into the palace and declared president. The audience then stormed the governerment offices to get out of the rain."