Is everyone here for the editorial meeting? Ok, good. Heavy news week this week, so only the best stories are going to get space. We'll start with Cheddar Headlines. Ten words max, and the headline can be self-explanatory as in 'The Independent', or horrendously convoluted, as in, erm, The Cheesy Headline Game. Once the headline is finished, I'd like a few words containing the story in a news style, please. Subs, clear your desks, and let's get the presses rolling. Spike it once we reach the usual back page move.
A Doctor Who impersonator made a one-man protest at Gleneagles today, a month in advance of the G8 summit. He blamed the unreliability of his dematerialisation circuits for missing the conference. His warnings that some of the intended delegates were alien impersonators were "not taken seriously", police said. However, as a precautionary measure, a wheelie bin cull has been announced. Local Doctor Who spotters suspect a cover-up.