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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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Welcome aboard flight SOS13 on Macbeth Airlines, we'll be cruising at an altitude of approximately 13,013 feet and our journey will take us safely under the famous "ladder" cloud formation just north of Bermuda. We're afraid there's no salt left on board as it was all spilt on takeoff when we swerved to avoid that black cat on the runway. Shortly our cabin crew will begin demonstrating our new range of Macbeth Airlines souvenirs, including our ever popular umbrellas. I'm flight commander James "Lucky" McDeath, wishing you a pleasant and comfortable flight. [Projoy] That's gooood :)
The bad news is we've almost run out of jet fuel. The good news is that our pilot Captain Mahoney started out his career by flying test gliders for the RAF.
"This is your captain speaking. Are you prepared for an event one does not witness everyday ladies and gentlemen? If you would each maueuver so you can look sharply out the windows to the west there can shortly be seen a trio of airforce jet fighters scrambling to greet us."
Ladies and Gentlemen, we would like to welcome you aboard our non-stop flight to Los Angeles. Our flying time tonight is scheduled to be 13 hours and 26 minutes. And I would like to extend a special welcome to all of those families traveling to the Third Annual Chronic Infant Colic and Earache Convention...
We are about to return to terra firma: Drinks are now complementary and, please, feel free to have your last cigarette.
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