Ladies and Gentleman in the First Class Cabin. We regret to announce that, due to an error by our ground catering staff, we failed to load our stocks of the Dom Perignon 1996, and will instead be forced to serve the 1995 vintage.
Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your Captain speaking. Please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until we're at the gate. And welcome to Indianapolis... Oops! Was this supposed to be the flight to Chicago?
Arr! This be Talk Like A Pirate Day, it be! Now landlubbers, see ye watch the cabin boys as they show ye the safety drill, case we be shipwrecked! Arr!
And now a request from Dave and Renee, who are celebrating their fortieth anniversary today. Shortly I'll play "Save Your Love", but first... all together now... For they are jolly good fellows...
Ladies and gentlemen, contrary to what it says in your inflight magazine, you won't be able to have your palm and tarot read or your horoscope calcuated by our normal onboard seer. Unfortunately, she decided not to come on the flight today.