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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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"OMG! Nurse! Get in here stat! We must act without delay and quarantine the premises, immediately! Get the Atlanta CDC on the phone and inform them we have a level 5 containment! Alert the national guard and homeland security ... but first, send for the priest in the lobby so he can read this condemned man his last rites ..... oh wait a minute ... you can disregard that order, I was mistaken ... it's only the measles."
1ts t1m3 4 s0m3 l33t surg3ri3xx0rz, y0
"All your base are belong to us."
Hmmm... How interesting... Nurse, fetch Dr Warlock and tell him it's happened again.
I'm afraid it's not just a case of erectile dysfunction, it's a case of complete erectile non-function.
I don't believe in anaesthetics, what I say is, you can't be properly cured unless you really feel the whole operation.
Oops!
So time now, I think, for

Worst announcements to hear while flying
"MAYDAY! MAYDAY!! MADAY!!! MAYDAY!!!!"
As, you are aware, we have a planned refuelling stop in Hawaii, but I reckon we've got a pretty good chance of reaching Tokyo without it, so let's just give it a go.
Ladies and gentlemen- This is your pilot speaking. Does anyone out there in the cabin know how to read an altimeter?
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