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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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Hello I'm Plump
The tooth-fairy is a no-good racketeer- a very bad lady. She leaves you just 25p for your tooth and then goes and sells it for two whole pounds. And Santa Claus, ho ho, could I tell you a thing or two about that guy!
We could surprise mummy by putting the television on ebay. Shall we try it?
Have you ever wondered what's inside the television? Here's a screwdriver and a pair of pliers.
You know that moral statements have no objective truth, don't you?
Your parents are mistaken, cats and dogs do get along well together. It will be perfectly safe to drop Fluffy over the fence so she can make friends with the Wilson's Bull Terriers.
Have you ever wondered what's inside a dog? Here's a carving knife and a saw. Watch you don't cut yourself!
You say daddy loves you, but ah, how can you know anything?
And, for that matter, Ah, you say that 3+5 is 8, but what stops it being 18? Consider rejecting the arbitrary axioms of mathematics, and you will see that it could just as easily be 235 or 835 or even five million! Hang on, I'll draw you a diagram.
Have you ever realised that people don't really exist? Not even you! Everyone is a sack of little processes, and that sense of being "you" is just one of those processes that thinks it's in charge, like the figurehead on a ship. And some people don't even have that -- they're just zombies! Maybe your parents are just zombies!
Cat meat tastes nice. Bit like bunny rabbit.
I don't have any children of my own, you see. That means I don't know when is a good time to stop slapping.
Fish sperm looks like the bubbles created by fairy liquid.....How I know this I am unsure...........Fairy liquid is like Dew and often found on or around Lillies!!!!!!
oops been away too long
That's it. Put your hand through the bars in the cage and shake the nice tiger's paw. He's nothing but an oversized pussy cat.
Would you like to hear another rugby song? This one is called "All the Nice Girls Love a Candle" . . .
Do you want to see my Michael Jackson impression?
You'll never learn the sousaphone if you can't even hold it properly.
Do you recall the defective bicycle your parents returned to walmart last christmas? Well, I hate to be the one to tell you but, when your parents get back from the hospital with your new baby brother, he is going to be your replacement. You are being returned to the factory.
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