Sure your grandma bakes you nice cookies and cupcakes. But that's just to fatten you up, you see. She's actually Hansel and Gretel's witch in disguise.
The tooth-fairy is a no-good racketeer- a very bad lady. She leaves you just 25p for your tooth and then goes and sells it for two whole pounds. And Santa Claus, ho ho, could I tell you a thing or two about that guy!
Your parents are mistaken, cats and dogs do get along well together. It will be perfectly safe to drop Fluffy over the fence so she can make friends with the Wilson's Bull Terriers.
And, for that matter, Ah, you say that 3+5 is 8, but what stops it being 18? Consider rejecting the arbitrary axioms of mathematics, and you will see that it could just as easily be 235 or 835 or even five million! Hang on, I'll draw you a diagram.