arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
Cleri Who's Who
help
Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
arrow_circle_up
Now he takes an eternal nap
Andrew Lloyd-Webber
Wrote the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar" in which a scene depicts the protagonist healing a leper
Sarah Brightman
Is his ex-wife which perhaps is enlightenin'
Barry Cryer
Was responsible for casting the most recent TV version of 'Robin Hood', the one that omitted the Friar
Whereas Graeme Garden
Would have got the job had he not started visibly to harden
Boris Yeltsin [Darren] Yech.
Under whom most Russians had to pull their belts in
He also liked to drink and dance and slap ladies on the bottom
Whereas in the same situation Joseph Vissiarionovich Stalin would've just shot 'em
Richard Gere
Is rumoured to be queer
If so, in the entertainment industry he would not be alone (Softers) Probably apocryphal, but Michael Caine was asked if he thought Gere were gay. He replied, "Dunno, could be. Let's say 'e'd 'elp out if vey was short-'anded".
I've heard stories about Sharon Stone...
Richard Gere? A recipient of swollen goods? How very dare you!
Julia Roberts
Ahem!
Julia Roberts
Is harder to rhyme than Helen sodding Mirren
Be that as it may, she has toothache and 'er gob 'urts.
Like many movie stars she has put it about a bit
You won't read about this in her official leave-the-dirty-bits-out obit.
Prince 'Arry
Must some day marry
Perhaps he'll marry another man
's wife like his dad did - because he can...
The Reds' Daniel Agger
Can walk with a swagger. Expect Rosie to be less than full of praise...
As Rafa approaches the final with glasses tinted rosé
Let his team get slaughtered and be full of woes - eh? Nice try, Phil :-)
Old Mother Goose
Had a number of flings with a number of ganders and was therefore considered in avian circles to be quite loose
Old Father Gander
Was also known to philander
Phil
Likes to think of himself as a curmudgeon who, while not old, could be said to be in view of the top of the hill
Whereas I
Don't even have to try ;-)
Domenico Scarlatti (Pj) I can still just about see the hill, I'll have you know, young man. ;-)
Was famously catty:
In Rome, he was judged to be a better harpsichordist than Handel
[Rosie] That's me, waving curmudgeonly, from the top of the hill
To whom Haydn couldn't hold a candle.
Brian Sewell (Phil) Curmudgeonly is an adjective. You were waving curmudgeonlyly. It was obvious. :-)
Is not very cooel
But he doesn't care [Rosie] Curmudgeonously perhaps? Curmudgeonlyly is just silly :P
As long as he can pontificate about art made of pubic hair [Rosie/Tuj] It'd be curmudgeonlily anyway.
Niccolo Paganini
Didn't write itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-yellow-polka-dot-bikini
He did, perhaps, have double-jointed fingers [Rosie et al] curmudgeonly is also listed by the OED as an adverb with the qualification that it is rare. Perhaps curmudgeonrily might be a better adverb, as it's based on the act of being a curmudgeon.
More use to him than to singers. Invoking The North.
Jacques Chirac
He won't be back
But Nicolas Sarkozy
Finds the presidential throne cozy.
Ségolène Royal
Was brought up in the Transvaal
Not, as some believe, in the Witwatersrand
Which is where Jacques Chirac was born, on the other hand.
Damon Hill
When he parted company with Williams, the feeling was ill
Now he's older, he's feeling better
But tends to try and keep it a secret that he is still a bed-wetter
Damon Runyan
(or Runyon)
Often went to a corner stand in Times Square, Manhattan to buy a hot dog topped with mustard, relish and onion
But Mickey Spillane
Found if he did that, he'd quickly see that hot dog again.
Doctor Beeching
Close the branch-lines was his teaching
Unfortunately, this reduced the traffic on main lines too
Oh, poo.
Peter Hain
Just can't explain
That probably says it all
Which causes this clerihew to stall
MP for Barking, Margaret Hodge
Spends here evenings in a sweat lodge
Wheras the late Enoch Powell
Would stand naked in the moonlight and howl
Germaine Greer
is near
Enough a feminist to make no difference
And that statement would make her take offence
George Bush's brother Jeb
smokes Red Leb
But nobody really cares
About his heady airs.
Former First Lady, Hillary Clinton
If elected President, promises to outlaw Badminton
Her attitude to tennis
Is nothing short of menace ... using one of the FEW remaining rhymes...swiftly moving on.....
Humph
Takes one lumph
While Samantha, Colin and Sven
Eaach take ten
The late Princess Di
She and Prince Charles didn't always see eye-to-eye
But she played the doey eyed wounded princess role very well
Until she became an adulteress and went to hell (possibly)
Satan
Can be utterly infuriatin'
He can be as nasty as hell
As well.
Saint Peter
Could be neater
While Saint Paul
Wrote to all
Lord Coe
Lately unveiled a logo that was no go.
It looks like Lisa Simpson giving head
It'll probably kill the London Olympics stone dead.
Nebuchadnezzar, King of the Jews
Tossed Shadrach, Meshach and Abednago into the furnace and lit the fuse
Though technically he was really king of Babylon
And a drug addict, and in rehab belong. (Softers) Don't make it easy, do you, you bastard. -:)
Jeff Stryker
Are we referring to the one who is a porn star or the one who is a writer?
Whenever he has writer's block (candidating for feedline of the month)
He can at least be thankful that he doesn't have to resort to improving the contour of his trousers with the aid of a sock.
Lewis Hamilton
Is looking sick, ill, wan [Kim] At least it wasn't Helen Mirren.
Still, he is pretty quick
Goes at quite a lick.
Lady Hamilton, Horatio's lover
Has never been pictured on a heavy metal album cover
Horatio's lover, Lady Hamilton
Lived with him on Menorca near Mahon
Johnny Briggs
Collects outrageous wigs
His brother wrote The Snowman
While Johnny appeared in Man About the House as a Milkman
Johnny Depp
Sexy? Yep.
Vanessa Paradis
Sexy? Oui.
George Melly
Was far too rarely on the telly
Unlike Roger Mellie
Who also had a slightly smaller belly
J K Rowling
All the way to the bank she is surely laughing
Her boy-wizard character, Harry Potter
Does not die after all, but goes off to be a train-spotter
... So "Rowling" rhymes with "laughing". You learn something new every day. [UK] You'll be in trouble if that's the real ending.
Rin Tin Tin
Drinks gin
While Lassie [IS,P] Bovvered? Does this face look bovvered?
Had more the ascetic habits of the late Haile Selassie.
Johannes Brahms
His lullaby is reknowned because it is so soothing, and it calms
While Franz Liszt
Is the ideal music to listen to while being kissed
Fernando Alonso
His passion other than racing is watching a video of Ronald Reagan's movie classic "Bedtime for Bonzo"
Whereas Michael Shumacher
Is a big fan of trad jazz - Chris Barber, Humph and Acker
Johnson, Boris of that ilk
Will do just about anything for attention, in fact as much as he can milk
Because his hair
Is always there
Bono
Oh, God, no
His conscience he parades
Whilst wearing dodgy shades
Adrian Chiles
Runs for miles
Where he goes
No-one knows
Amy Winehouse
Ruined a perfectly fine blouse
Whereas Nana Mouskouri
Spilled red wine on hers, but did not mind as it was woven from cheap dhurrie
James Watt
Got very hot
While Richard Trevethick
Was equally calorific. (Softers) I'm sure it's Trevithick
Alexander Graham Bell
Entered into a long legal dispute with another well known inventor about who owned the patent on the device and whether it was theirs to sell
But Bell eventually emerged victorious
His persistence being notorious.
Samuel Pepys
frequently ate haggis with tatties and neeps
Which explains why his physique was anything but wiry
But clearly this corpulence didn't stop him writing in his diary
Robinson Crusoe
Read the works of Rousseau
Strangely Robinson's surname ended in the same two letters as that of his creator, Daniel Defoe
Whose greatest work, namely Robinson Crusoe, was the only permitted reading up to the age of twelve for the eponymous Emile in what is considered to be the first bildungsroman, concidentally written by Rousseau.
Robin Hood
Sure would
Belittle John and fry a duck
That he stole from the rich, in order to give it to those with less luck
Daffy Duck
Was never one for offending others with rhyme for the sake of a cheap laugh, as in his own words, "that would thuck"
Whereas the late lamented James Hunt
Has been replaced in rhyming slang by James Blunt
Neil Young
Made recordings with Crosby, Stills and Nash
cont:- for a bung Need to open a new packet of fingers ...
While Stuart Sutcliffe, the lost Beatle
Had rarely sung.
Boris Johnson
Is more concerned with EU directives on Jams, Jellies and Preserves than watching old movies starring Charles Bronson
While "Red" Ken Livingstone
Will call his autobigraphy "The Story of the Stone"
o
Mr. T
Last seen driving a Chieftain tank through a wall in a Snickers advert (and I have no idea if it actually was a Chieftain tank, that was just guesswork, so if I'm wrong, please don't have a go at me)
Has adopted the catch-phrase "I pity 'da fool!", despite the fact that this was merely a line of dialogue in Rocky III by his character Clubber Lang
But that's his thang. Brevity, soul of wit, mutter mutter...
Nicolas Sarkozy A challenger appears!
When confronted by his estranged wife about payments of alimony, likes to scurry away, or mosey
But never afraid of the media nor the power of political spin
A latter-day sin.
John Culshaw
Did you mean John or Jon, nobody can be completely sure
Well, someone could try to say something that could be applicable to either
Which of the cheerful pair is blither?
Sarah Brightman
Took another toke on the spliff, giggled, and said "I've just missed my flight, man" allegedly
Whereas milord Webber, her ex
Looked past all her giggling and toking on the spliff and used her for sex
Fred Truman
(Do you mean Fred Trueman, the Yorkshire cricketeer bowler, known best for the speed at which he threw, man?)
(I don't know what a cricketeer-bowler is, but I think he means the late, great Fred Trueman, Yorkshire and England fast bowler)
Whose deliveries described a para-bola. (irach) Did you ever see him? As far from a chucker as you can get.
Gordon Ramsay
But Boy George Alan O'Dowd
Is, but is unbowed.
Reginald Kenneth Dwight
Now a knight Queen, more likely.
But as Elton John he is much better known
In both his music, and in his choice of flamboyant clothing he has shone
Robert Zimmerman
Would be blowing in the wind if he were a much slimmer man
The times are a changin', though, like Bob himself when he legally became Mr. "Dylan"
As was the case with the late Lord Stockton, formerly known as Harold MacMillan. Brevity, a virtue posessed by those of a laconic nature and who wish to illustrate a point of view with some pungency regardless of the fact that on occasions a degree of offence may be taken by persons of excessive sensitivity, is the soul of wit.
Harry Webb
While on a summer holiday, met a young lady, Debra Byrne, whom he affectionately called Deb
Whereas Norma Jean Baker
Was ne'er a Quaker
Marion Robert Morrison
No rednecks here, sorry, son.
Whereas Roy Harold Scherer
Being gay, shunned the sex that is generally regarded as being fairer
Fingal O'Flaherty Wills
Sought a life of varied sexual thrills
Whereas Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr, in contrast stark
Got his Rocky Mountan highs by singing in the dark
Archibald Alec Leach
Strayed far from Severn Beach
But Issur Danielovitch Demsky
Kills clerihews stone dead. 5 days is long enough.
[Rosie]"Once took his son Michael Douglas and his other kids to Gstaad to watch 'em ski " is one line that would work.
Salvador Dali
Doted over Kali (Or "Kills clerihews stone deadsky.")
To whom Jackson Pollock nice easy one
Dedicated his left bollock. (irach) That doesn't work because the stress is all wrong. The rhyme has to be with "Demsky".
Ebenezer Scrooge
Once went on a day-trip to Bruges
While Bob Cratchitt
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord