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You know you're getting old when.......
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As life moves on there are signs which tell us, without any chance of doubt, that we are getting older, going downhill, coming off the final bend or generally ready to turn off the lights, lock the door and depart gracefully. What is/are your particular tell-tale symptoms?
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Your wee is too wee to smell like anything.
You are mercifully spared from toothaches, having no teeth left to ache.
You realise that, when he/she says "Shall we go upstairs and have sex?", you'll only be able to manage one or the other.
Your damn hearing aid sucks, so that when he/she says "Shall we go upstairs and have sex?" you hear "Do you know where the heck are my specs?", to which you reply "No, dear".
You can't fine the stairs to your bed room even though you have lived in a ground floor flat for the last 40 years!
You can't tell whether it's your knees or the stairs that are creaking.
The Sexpistols and The Buzzcocks are getting played on Radio 4!!!!
You blame the viagra for your eyesight going.
You can't even remember what you're taking the Viagra for.
We're suspiciously good at this game, in my opinion.
[SM] We'll only get better at it too. I'm going to the garden centre today in my LUNCH HOUR ffs, to prepare the garden for my 40th party... yikes.
It doesn't help any more to ignore your round-numbered birthdays.
Your reflection in the mirror resembles the Plasticine (or Playdoh to the Yanks) human figures you made in Kindergaten class
"Whats that ye say, dearie........yes.....yessss......it is getting cold in here."
You stay up at night deciding whether you should talk about your lumbago or your arthritis with your friends at tomorrow's bridge game
Your back goes out more than you do. Ouch.
You stop feeling seventeen.
You stop feeling seventeen-year-olds. oblig
You stop feeling.
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