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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Bismarck: NO.
Quorn?
Whatever that is
Software: NO.
A complete meal?
Boolbar: YES.
A TV dinner?
Bismarck: NO.
Quinoa?
Whatever that is.
A breakfast meal?
Boolbar: NO, except if you're reaaaally hung over and just don't care.
Boolbar: NO, except if you're reaaaally hung over and just don't care.
"Pop tarts"?
I preferred the metal tarts, myself
Superman: NO.
One of these meal replacement mixtures fashionable among geeks, like Solyent, Huel, etc.?
Raak: NO.
Frozen pizza?
Bis: NO.
Does this meal include potato?
Boolbar: NO.
Do you find this in a fast food outlet?
Raak: NO.
Is this barbecued food?
Recap
Not sure we're getting close to the doctor's order. A recap:
IS a human foodstuff, and a complete potato-free meal thereof.
IS PARTIALLY grown from grain, vegetarian, and it might have some soya in it. You would only have it for breakfast if you're really wasted.
IS NOT ... pretty much everything else, including a drink constituent, pizza, breakfast cereal, ready dinner, veggie meat substitute, and fast food.
We're still waiting to find out if it's quinoa or barbecued.
Leftover question regarding quinoa: NO.
Boolbar (BBQ): NO.
Bis: Per Raak's question of "Vegetarian form of imitation meat", the answer was PARTIALLY, not NO.
Is the food/meal associated particularly with a country?
Bismarck: Debatable, but let's say YES.
Is it customarily eaten with chopsticks?
Steak and kidney pudding?
Raak: NO.
Superman: NO.
Are we looking for the constituent name of the ingredients like "Meat and two veg"?
Are looking for a name as It might appear on a menu, like "Waldorf salad"?
Bismarck #1: NO.
Bismarck #2: YES.
Is it Waldorf salad?
Bismarck: NO.
Nasi goreng?
Superman: Wot?
Well, obvs ain't that, then *ticks another tofu-containing dish off the list*
Is it a spicy meal?
Full English breakfast?
A vegie breakfast?
Rogan josh?
Boolbar: CAN BE; NOT OBLIGATORY.
Bismarck: NO.
Software: NO (but see previous commentary)
Superman: NO.
Some sort of soup?
Does salad come into it?
Can one obtain all the ingredients in the typical supermarket?
Boolbar: NO.
Bismarck: NO.
Raak: MAYBE? I'm not sure what would be considered "typical" in a British supermarket. A sufficiently-large USA supermarket would be a YES.
A quick lorainney? (as they say in my parts)
Superman: Wot?
Sheesh... a quiche lorraine?
Some type of pie?
Sup: NO.
Bool: NO.
Is it usually eaten hot?
Bool: YES.
Anyone? Bueller?
Does the meal include pasta?
Superman: YES. *wave of applause emanate from the audience as they are awoken from their slumber*
A spaghetti dish?
Bool: NO.
Lasagne/Lasagna ?
Gusset: YES. *Audience in resounding applause*
Lasagne pescatore?
Bis: NO.
Lasagna vegetarian?
Close enough
I was specifically going for "Vegan Lasagna" (with non-dairy Ricotta and TVP-like meat), but I figure with this lot it'd be a bit too pedantic.

Superman takes the victory and the next subject!

Oh like wow
I'd just like to thank you. And my lawyer. And my mother. And my brain surgeon. Without you it wouldn't be the same. And to all those millions who have contributed to this success, you're wonderful. Most of you are anyway. I sincerely hope vague praise is enough for you, because I'm keeping the rest.

But on with the show! Now greater, better, yellower, and it's...
ANIMAL !
Is it Tuj asking if it begins with P?
Edible?
Mammal?
Can you eat it?
Human?
Can you eat it? I dunno. Stupid old fool.
Unique?
Is it alive?
Incidentally, my first post in this game for nearly 17 months. oops!
Hello class
Your marks, in order:
[Boolbar] NO, leave Tuj alone.
[Raak] YES, but even so wait for lunch break
[Rosie] NO, we are not cannibals, and do fifty lines "I must not insult myself, others are there to do it"
[Tuj] NO, there are uncounted examples
[Phil] YES, unlike certain pupils in class 2B. Don't forget to give your name for the register.
Yeah, but is it human?
If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?
[Rosie] NO, now move on to exercise two.
[CdM] I see you have reached exercise 421, well done! NO, of course. Maybe you can sit next to Rosie and help him along.
Repeating: Mammal?
Is it a fish?
[Drq] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Is it a bird?
Hmm, so you answered "No" to 'If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?'. So you would not say "No" (ie. you would say "Yes"*) to the question "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?". Hence it does begin with "P".
* Or you might have answered "Maybe" which throws any attempt at logic out of the window.
A parrot, dead perhaps?
Does it fly?
Is it alive?
Ill logic
[Boolbar] I always wondered if "Bool" meant a Boolean logical construct and "bar" meant the logical inverse of that construct, thus permitting the assumption about the local valid of "true" and "false" of the "Boolbar" referential. Is it true?
[Software] NO, unwanted dead or alive.
[Raak] It does not fly of its own accord.
[Bismarck] Dead or alive makes no difference, it's the name of the thing I'm after.
Does it begin with P?
Hopefully collapsing the waveform.
Repeating: Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Catching up
[Boolbar] NOT a bird.
[DrQxm] Colour is not important.
[Tuj] One of the words on the card does.
A mushroom or fungus?
Macroscopic?
[Bism] NO, not fungus. [DrQx] errrmmm... This cannot be seen by the unaided eye.
botulism?
Applause from the audience
[Software] NO.
A bacterium?
A virus?
[Bismarck] Yes! Audience start clapping.
[Raak] NO.
Yeast?
Salmonella?
Clostridium botulinum?
Would Porton Down take any interest in it?
Wee beasties
[Raak] NO, that's a fungus.
[Software] NO, this won't poison you.
[Rosie] NO.
[drquuxum] NO, though for all I know they might take a passing interest.
Amoeba?
Does it have a flagellum?
[Raak] NO, amoebae are eukaryotic.
[drquuxum] NO flagella.
E. coli?
Streptococcus thermophilus?
Back-to-bacteria
[Raak] Audience starts clapping, but it's NO.
[Software] Audience now cheering! Still NO.
Staph?
Lactobacillus delbrueckii subsp. bulgaricus?
?
[Raak] N.
[Software] NO. You were hot, but you're cooling.
Reminder: One of the words begins with Tuj P.
Pneumococcus?
Oohs from the audience
[drquuxum] NO, we're going around the answer without quite getting there.
Streptococcus pneumoniae?
© Lurkers Я Us
Top of the class
CdM has it! Streptococcus pneumoniae it is. Take this very small baton along with the Mrs Joyful prize for raffia work and look smug over there while the audience applauds.
Uh-oh
Well, that technically wasn't quite a lurker's victory, because I did ask one previous question. But I have been basically absent here for a long time and have almost forgotten how to play this game. Let's go for an ABSTRACT with ANIMAL AND MINERAL CONNECTIONS.
Medusa?
Stony silence from the audience
Medusa? No.
On reflection it might be more accurate to call this: ABSTRACT and partly MINERAL (with ANIMAL connections).
Is it art?
The audience doesn’t know, but they do know what they like
Art? No.
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
Is it a representation, in a mineral substance, of an animal?
The green eye of the little yellow god?
Well-known phrase or saying? The words on the card make up a 12-word phrase (including the definite article) that is certainly not a well-known phrase or saying. However, I will also accept other shorter and more familiar phrases (the most common of which is five words long, including the definite article). That said, the point of the answer is not that it is a well-known phrase, if you see what I mean.
Mineral representation of an animal? *smattering of applause* The mineral piece does include a representation of an animal.
Green eye of yellow god? No.
Is this a part of Arthurian legend?
Arthurian? No. *a slight smile appears briefly on the face of a particularly well informed audience member*
Does it exist on this earth?
Is it a representative symbol or logo?
Earthly? Yes.
Swoosh? No.
Is it part of some other body of legend?
Legendary? No. (You should ignore the smiling audience member; I guarantee it won't help.)
Is this found in the works of Shakespeare?
Shakespearean? No.
Is it representative of a person?
Representative of a person? *some audience applause*     Taking this first as a narrow question, following on Raak's question before last, I would now amend my answer to say: Yes, The mineral piece does include a representation of an person. Thinking about the AOTC more generally, it depends a bit on how you interpret the word "representative", but the best answer is No.
The demolishing of the statues of Civil War generals in the South of the United States?
A few o many words...
But is it art?
Would the AOTC have been known in the year 1950?
Confederasing? No.
Art? No. *some laughter from the more cynical members of the audience*
Known in 1950? No. *while this answer is indubitably correct, it nonetheless prompts some discussion in the audience*
Something to do with winning an award or a competition?
To do with winning award or competition? Yes. *sustained applause*
An Oscar?
Connected to a sporting event?
Oscar? No.
Sporting? No.
A trophy or medal of some sort?
Does this refer to them what has won a game on this here page?
Trophy or Medal? *applause* The mineral part of the answer is a medal.
Local game winner? *laughter* The AOTC is not a winner of an MC game. And I am highly confident that no game-winner here has one of the aforementioned medals.
Is this medal awarded for scientific achievement?
Is this medal awarded for bravery?
Is a new medal created for each recipient?
As opposed to passing it around.
Scientific achievement? Yes. *some laughter from exactly the same cynics who we’re laughing previously*
Bravery? No.
New medal for each recipient? Yes. *applause for the question*
The Swedish National Bank's Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel?
Also known as "The Nobel Prize in Economics".
Well, technically, my card says "Sverige Riksbank", which is why it has 12 words as advertised, not 13. But, YES, Raak now has a gold baton with his name inscribed on the edge.
Your Royal Highness, members of the Nobel committee, jealous also-rans, ladies and gentlemen. To begin a brief informal sketch of the work that led to this award, consider the topos of Liesenring-Schmethold operators over a symplectic manifold equipped with the Swale cohomology on its cotangent bundle...(contd. p.94)

The next is MINERAL.

Stone?
By volume, almost entirely stone.
Sculpted into the likeness of something, like me for instance?
Not a likeness.
Is it a mountain?
Not a mountain.
The pyramids?
A heavenly body?
[S] Not the pyramids.
[B] Not a heavenly body.
Inscribed in any way?
Is it unique?
Well solved, btw!
Does it possess Buddha-nature?
Is it a geological formation?
[R] Not inscribed.
[T] Unique.
[S] Mu.
[d] *applause* A geological formation.
Is it entirely within one country?
Is it a desert?
[B] Not within one country.
[d] Not a desert.
Was it formed within the last fifteen million years?
[S] Not formed within the last fifteen million years.
Is water or ice involved?
The African Rift Valley?
Long shot. I'm not sure how old that is.
[d] No water or ice involved, except incidentally.
[R] Not the African Rift Valley.
Is it primarily underground?
[d] I think you could say that any geological formation is primarily underground, even Mount Everest. If the question is whether it is entirely underground, the answer is no.
A specific archipelago?
[D] Not an archipelago.
Mountains?
[B] (Confers with Mycroft) Mountains would be part of it.
Big? (More than 1000 miles in any direction except up)
[R] (polite applause) Big.
A continent?
[C] (more applause) A continent.
Does this continent exist today?
[S] (even more applause) This continent does not exist today.
Rodinya?
[B] Not Rodinya.
Gondwanaland?
[R] Not Gondwanaland.
Pangaea?
Laurasia?
[S] Not Laurasia, but...
[B] Pangaea it is.
Moving quickly on a geological timescale, pausing only to thank the tectonic forces that fashioned this earth with the odd helping hand from extraterrestrial meteorites, read this carefully-arranged eruption which spells

ABSTRACT
(as well as trouble for a few geological theories when it's discovered).

Is it a thing known to exist on the planet Earth?
The theory expounded by the Flat Earth Society?
Themyscira?
Counter-Earth?
Hell?
Hadean epoch
Welcome, welcome to one and all.
[DrQ] It's abstract. Really quite abstract. So yes, if only in our minds.
[Duj] Not the flat-earthers.
[Boo] No Amazons here (with Black Friday coming, that may be a relief)
[Raak] Not our twin from the dark side.
[Gus] Topical in this epoch, but not relevant.
Is it a human feeling?
[Rosie] No, it isn't.
Is it something found in a work of fiction?
Archean eon approaching
[DrQ] It is often used as a word and a concept in many forms of writing.
Let me add that there is one word on the card.
Does it begin with M?
Does it end with M?
Utopia?
Is there an M in the AOTC anywhere?
Mesoarchaean
[Tuj], [Boolbar], [Gusset Login], there is no M.
[Raak]Utopia is nowhere to be seen.
Is it an emotion?
Is it something mythical?
Proterozoic
[Tuj] This cannot be felt.
[Raak] Your myth does not hit.
Is it something that you might find on this website?
[drquuxum] Most definitely.
Time?
Life appears with enough appendages to applaud
(Sup) NO, but the audience wakes up and claps. A bit.
Language?
Does the word on the card have more than six letters?
Wit?
[Boolbar] Not language.
[Superman] No.
[Rosie] Not wit.
Scattered applause here and there for all that.
Is it typographical in nature?
The Ding an sich?
Phanerozoic here, how are you?
Lots of good stuff coming now. Both on the right evolutionary branch.
[DrQuuxum] If you mean ems, ens and that sort of thing, no.
[Raak] No, though in a sense, as you taught us to say, isn't everything?
Is it a figure of speech?
[Tuj] I don't think you could call it that.
A guess?
Cambrian era, when all was Welsh
[Boolbar] Not a guess.
Is the word a noun?
Dinosauria?
[Superman] oh boy, the difficult one... No, but there is a phrase in which this gets nouned.
Is it the title of a film?
Any ideas for a plan of attack anybody?
Time for Snowball Earth
[Tuj] Not a film title. Doesn't begin with P either, but it does begin with a letter that is a rotation or reflection of P.
Beauty?
Tectonically...
[Bool] That's pretty good guess, in a way, but... No.
Could you say it was discovered?
Discovey of time
[Tuj] No. But someone did, I suppose. Probably Eve when you look back at it.
Evil?
[Raak] No, not the good answer.
Related to the Grim Reaper?
Is it a verb?
[Lurk] No, don't think so.
[Soup] no, but as in your previous question, there is a famous phrase where it is treated as a verb.
Does it begin with B?
[Boolbar] Yes!
I have not played this game before . . .
Is it Bang the Drum Slowly?
[KaShu] No but it doesn't half feel like it.
Banter?
Doesn't time fly
[Boolbar] No, still simpler, still more abstract.
Black?
Be?
[CdM] Not a colour.
[Boolbar] That's getting close in abstraction to the answer. Not a verb
Being?
[Raak] Unbearable lightness? No.
Begin?
Borrowing Raak's letters.
[Boolbar] No, but I regret it.
Does the answer on the card have exactly 1 letter "e" in it?
Random guessing now.
Anything to do with mathematics?
Anyone else have any ideas?
A move!
[Boolbar] No "e" whatever, nothing to do with maths.
Look, it begins with "b", it's short (hint: 3 letters), it's not a verb, a noun (notwithstanding a famous phrase in which it gets used as both a noun and a verb),or adjective and I'm regretting having used it. Not enough to give the answer?
But?
The winner
[Raak] finishes the game in style. That'll teach me to take something small and easy.
But...ah. The next is MINERAL.
Is this an astronomical body?
Not an astronomical body.
Unique?
Not unique.
Is it natural?
Not natural.
Predominantly made of metal?
IS it the Angel of the North?
[Tuj] Not predominantly metal.
[Bismarck] Not the AotN.
Are they still being made today?
Still made today.
Made largely of plastic?
Not largely plastic.
Larger than a toaster?
Can be larger than a toaster.
Is it made of brick?
Not made of brick.
Does it have moving parts?
No moving parts.
A piece of furniture?
Not furniture.
An ornament?
Stone?
[B] Can be an ornament.
[S] Not stone.
Made mostly of wood?
Smaller members of the audience fidget and ask, "Are we nearly there yet?" "Soon," say their parents unconvincingly.
Not at all made of wood.
Actually...
On further study, this IS made mostly of metal.
Does it begin with P?
Where these being made before the year 1900?
[T] Does not begin with P.
[B] (a ripple of applause) Were being made before 1900.
Used in the kitchen?
Not used in the kitchen.
Does it have glass in it?
Strictly speaking, the thing itself does not have glass in it.
Is it used to measure something?
Not used to measure anything.
A lamppost?
Not a lamppost.
Summary: mainly metal (but note the "strictly speaking" concerning the glass question), made now and before 1900 (perhaps predominantly the latter, judging by the audience reaction), can be larger than a toaster, not unique, not naturally occurring, no moving parts, not furniture, not a measuring device, not a kitchen item, not a lamppost.
Yeah, well, that pretty much sums it up, innit, Raak?
- A mirror?
Not a mirror.
Connected with illumination?
One could say that it is indirectly connected with illumination.
A window?
Not a window. More indirect than that.
Electrical?
Not electrical.
An oil lamp?
Not an oil lamp.
Usually used or found outdoors?
Not usually used or found outdoors.
Connected with a fireplace?
Nothing to do with a fireplace.
Something to do with beverages?
Nothing to do with beverages.

Hint: the connection with light might be the most promising approach.

Candles?
Does the light connection involve natural light?
[B] Not candles.
[R] Can involve natural light.
Is it connected with photography?
(The audience erupts at this sudden relief from their ordeal.)
It is connected with photography.
Some sort of reflector?
Not a reflector.
Camera lens?
Not a lens.
Photo paper?
(a ripple of applause) Not photo paper. (Made of metal, remember.)
A camera tripod?
(the audience sit with firmly folded arms.) Not a tripod.
A photo plate?
(applause) Yes, a type of photographic plate.
The audience fumes impatiently while the hare decides to take a nap just short of the finishing line.
A lantern slide?
Not a lantern slide.
A speculum?
Copper plate?
[B] Not a speculum.
[R] Yes, it is a copper plate.
A Daguerrotype?
YES, a daguerrotype. Have this framed daguerrotype of the baton used by the conductor at the opening ceremony of the Great Exhibition of 1851.
C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas daguerre. Oh yes it is.

Right then, the next one is

MINERAL with an ABSTRACT feel

A sculpture?
(Raak) Nice try but not a sculpture.
is it fictional?
(Superman) Fictional? NO, it's real.
Is it on planet Earth?
(Boolbar) On the earth? NO. *some audience titters*
Can it be seen from Earth?
Is it within planet Earth?
The centre of the Earth?
(Bismarck) Visible from earth? NO. *audience visibly animated*
(Boolbar) NOT within planet earth.
(Raak) NOT the centre of the earth.
The centre of the universe?
(Superman) Centre of the universe? Who knows where that is? It's not the AOTC.
Is it in our solar system?
(Tuj) YES, it's in the Solar System.
A dwarf planet?
Pertaining to the Moon?
(Boolbar) NOT a dwarf planet.
(Dujon) Pertaining to the moon? YES. *audience frenzy*
Tranquillity Base?
(Bismarck) Tranquility Base? NO.
Sounds like a mood-altering alkaloid.
Is it man-made?
(Superman) Man-made? NO.
The dark side of the moon?
(CdM) The dark side of the moon? CLOSE but no cigar. *Confused reaction from audience. Some fighting.*
Eclipse?
(Bismarck) Eclipse? NO.
A specific feature on the far side of the moon?
(CdM) NO, not a specific feature.
The moon itself?
(Superman) The moon itself? NO.
A crater?
(Boolbar) NO, not a crater.
A sea?
(Superman) NOT a sea. I have a feeling the questioners have run past the target.
The Moon-Earth Trojan points?
(Raak) Well, grab me by the Lagranges. Nothing so technical.
The near side of the moon?
(Raak) Near side of the moon? NO. *audience jumps up and down in frustration*
The centre of the moon?
*roll of drums* The Crescent moon?
The roughly 41% of the moon's surface not visible from Earth?
YES! The synchronously rotating BOOLBAR has it. It's The far side of the moon. OK, your go.
Oo! Let's end that phase and begin another. Something hopefully quick as I will be busy soon.

ABSTRACT ANIMAL

I'm not really sure how to play this
Is this a mythical creature?
How to Play
[KagomeShuko] Welcome. Others who've played more will correct me if I get this wrong I'm sure, but I think it's pretty straightforward - ask a question to narrow down the possibilities (just as you have!), then await the answer from Boolbar - later on make specific guesses, once you've an idea. Scroll back to earlier rounds for the flavour of it...
Q: Is it a heraldic animal?
Off to a flying start.
[KagomeShuko] Questions should be those which can be answered with a simple "Yes" or "No". Speaking of which...
(KagomeShuko) Mythical?  YES. But that wouldn't be the first thing you'd think of when the answer on the card is revealed. So I predict a lot of questions which are going to go down the wrong path.
(blamelewis) Heraldic?  NO.
A metaphorical animal?
I think it is better to say
Mythical creature? NO as the AOTC is not a creature of ancient myths itself, but belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth.
(Raak) A metaphorical animal? NO.
The komodo dragon?
As in a not so mythical beast, though I shall attempt to emblazon one on the family crest.
Dragging on.
(Bismarck) Komodo NO.
The Beast from the East?
Originating from a specific work of fiction?
Still skirting around the edges.
(Rosie) Cold weather? NO.
(Tuj) Originating from a specific work of fiction? YES.
Begins with P?
The Hydra?
Was the fiction concerned written in the last twenty years?
[Tuj] P? - pNO.
(Rosie) Hydra? NO.
(Superman) Last 20 years? The original origin, NO.
Are we looking for a family or genus of animals
(Superman) Family or genus? NO
Is it Frankenstein's Monster?
Wild guess :)
(blamelewis) Frankenstein's Monster? NO. But I believe we are starting to head a teeny tad in the right direction.
Double Identity?
Does this monster exist within the same body as a "Dr."?
(KagomeShuko) Monster/Dr.? NO (for both) but some of the audience got exited at the mention of double identity...
Is the source of the myth Scandinavian?
It's a mythtery.
(Superman) From Scandinavian myth? NO
Are we in the world of Tolkien?
(Knobbly) Tolkien related? NO
Is the original origin piece of fiction something that was originally published in English?
(blamelewis) Origin fiction in English? YES
Belonging to a class of mythical creatures, the specific animal was originally from an English piece of fiction from over twenty years ago (but possibly re-used since). Not a heraldic animal, nor a monster, not from Tolkien, not Scandinavian.
Is the animal a canine?
Was a song written about it?
Who let the dogs out?
Note : English language but not necessarily English. And as I put it "belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth" but that won't help much.
(Bismarck) Doggy? NO
(Bismarck) A song? YES (more of a by-product) and at least one other obscure and dreadful song that I know of.
Is the animal bit human?
Reckon the animal bit us the wrong track. There's bet free that aren't heraldic, or monstrous.
Auto-correct strikes again!
(Bismarck) Human? YES (in the broad sense of being human).
Audience give a hearty cheer.
Is it from Chaucer?
Or originally in American English?
Flying Chaucers
(blamelewis) Chaucer? NO   American English? YES
Is it a ghostly apparition in human form?
(blamelewis) Ghostly? Woo! NO
A figure in American folk tales, like John Bunyan?
(Bismarck) Folky? NO
Just to confuse: I've found that the AOTC was a ghost on one occasion but I doubt that will help anyone here.
Was the original American English story written in the 20th century?
[Superman] 20th Century? YES!
Transformation?
Is this a human that turns into another creature?
Is science fiction involved?
*Some of the audience hums at the mention of transformation*
(KagomeShuko) Human that turns into another creature? NO but within their history, the AOTC has had a few methods of "changing" :)
(Bismarck) Science fiction? Hmm, there are many Sci-fi elements that come into this, so it is involved, yes.
I thought this could be simple but I forgot the AOTC has had so much variation over the years.
Little green men?
(Superman) Little green men? I like your thinking, but NO. (The AOTC has met little green men though).
A superhero?
What is AOTC? And hatching?
Is transforming not necessarily transforming, but like hatching from an egg?
(KagomeShuko) AOTC = "Answer on the Card" or in other words : the answer you are looking for. As for the tiny hint about transforming: it is an everyday transformation that we are all capable of doing. The AOTC has a few nifty ways of doing it.
(Raak) Superhero? YES. *cue audience going wild with excitement*
Superman?
(If it's not that, I *bet* it's either a bird or a plane!)
(Superman) Superman? (NO) NO.
(blamelewis) No birds or planes, at least not that I can see. *some audience tittering*
The Incredible Hulk?
Having a smashing time
(Bismarck) Hulk? Incredibly NO.
Is the superhero concerned a baddie?
(Superman) Baddie? NO
A Marvel character?
A marvellous guess, but...
(Bismarck) Marvel? NO
This is bothering me. Everything I can think of that involves superhero persons changing doesn't involve little green men, and everything I can think of involving little green men doesn't involve changing. I'm stuck.
Can this superhero move incredibly fast?
Sorry... been busy
(Raak) Fast? YES. "Incredibly fast"? Possibly. The AOTC can move faster than us, some versions extremely fast. Not usually as fast as the previously mentioned Superman though.
(Bismarck) See note I made just above about changing to KagomeShuko. And "little green men" was only one or two story lines of many. Neither are particularly important in the grand scheme of things. Non-Marvel superhero : that does narrow things down a tad. :)
Anything to do with Star Trek?
Beam me up...
(Superman) Anything to do with Star Trek? NO. (Aside from any actors who have appeared in roles connected with both Star Trek and the AOTC. Oh, and the occasional transporter use.)
(sound of possible penny)
Is the hero occasionally invisible?
penny spins around...
(blamelewis) Invisible at times? *Some muttering in the audience* Well, the AOTC can't become invisible themselves but can use something they own to make themselves invisible (even though within comics and other media they are usually still visible, otherwise you'd be looking at scenery for a few frames!)
Caped crusaders - as a general class?
Supergirl?
(Superman) Caped crusader? Given that the AOTC comes from the same era as most of the famous caped crusaders and has often appeared alongside other caped crusaders then I guess they would belong to that class. However the AOTC does not usually wear a cape (except for ceremonial or official duties).
(Chalky) Nice to see you. And Supergirl? NO *Audience applauds guess though*
Catwoman?
Something from Thunderbirds?
(Raak)  Catwoman?  NO, but I have a comic with Catwoman fighting the AOTC on the cover...
(Bismarck)  Thunderbirds are NO.
Batgirl?
I think the "invisible thing" gave me the answer . . .
Is the AOTC Wonder Woman?
Merciful Minerva!
(Chalky) Batgirl? NO
(KagomeShuko) Wonder Woman? Great Hera! That is the right answer!

Let me pass you this invisible baton... which I'm sure I left around here somewhere.

I THINK I've got this, maybe? Sorry if I don't quite get it yet . . .
OCCUPATION ANIMAL
Is the animal a canine?
Some of the audience gets a little too excited at the mention of a number
A canine? Not even close.
Human?
Is it unique?
Human
The audience laughs, but also hums at human The animals itself isn't a human, but a human can certainly have that occupation.
Unique
There are certainly more than one person that holds the occupation and there are certainly more than one animal of this kind.
A donkey?
(KS) You are giving a little too much away. Your replies can be one-word if you want.
Hmm, I'd have to say that guess is a bit "Ass"inine.
Definitely not a donkey.
Would the word used for this animal also be used to describe an illicit carrier?
illicit
I've not heard of either word being one for an illicit carrier.
Does this animal provide any useful material?
This animal doesn't provide us with any useful materials.
A lion tamer?
Is the animal a bird?
Are we trying to guess a griffin here?
There' no lion about this - no lions and no birds.
Is it unicellular?
O HAI ERRYONE
Does it have a little light? :-)
Cells and lights . . .
While prison cells need more lights, this animal definitely has more than one cell (and nothing "uni" that I know) and definitely doesn't not have a light.
Is the animal a fish?
Here fishy, fishy
No fish jump into your boat. No fish here . . .
Is the animal a mammal?
Many members of the audience start questioning . . .
The animal itself isn't a mammal, but the descriptor of the animal in the front is . . .
Is this a mythological being or beings?
Nothing is mything. This animals is completely realistic.
Does politics come into this?
No politics at play - or work - or rest.
A hybrid creature?
Vroom Vroom
Hybrid? I thought those were cars . . .
Nope, not a hybrid creature
Does theatre come into it?
Four-legged?
Theatre? There's nothing theatre specific, though the creature might come into the theatre and the human descriptor might be in the theatre, too.
Audience oohs and ahs . . .
Four legs? Definitely not a four-legged creature.
An insect?
Is the human reference the word "man" or "woman"?
The audience leans towards Boolbar in anticipation
Yes, indeed, the animal is an insect!
The descriptor that is human could be either a man or a woman, but it doesn't contain either word.
Butterfly catcher?
Is this a flying beastie?
The audience makes uncertain noises
This animal definitely does not catch butterflies (nor is it a butterfly). It can fly, but it usually isn't common to see them flying - nor is it usually a good sign, but that always depends on where they are flying and why . . .
Some sort of beetle?
Nope, not a beetle.
Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home...?
Or stay put . . .
Not a ladybird or a ladybug. The human descriptor could refer to either gender and thing in total is two words, not one word.
Some type of ant?
Queen bee?
The audience gasps in anticpation
Not a bee, but definitely some type of ant! Getting warmer!!
The carpenter ant?
Ding! Ding! Ding! Winner, winner, Have a berliner!
Yes, indeed Bismarck, it is the Carpenter Ant!!!!
Well that was a surprise. Nice subject, thanks Mr Shuko. Here we go with a

MINERAL

objectithing for your ongoing delight.

Is it found on planet Earth?
Metalic?
Manufactured?
A spaceship built of stone?
[Boolbar] Earthly? YES.
[Software] Metallic? NO, not essentially.
[Rosie] Artificial? NO.
[Raak] NO. But a very good guess.
A meteorite?
?Oumuamua?
That should have been 'Oumuamua.
Is it in Australia?
Is it unique?
This might be over quite quickly...
[Rosie] NO, not a celestial object
[Raak] NO, see above
[Superman] YES, it's down under
[Tuj] YES, there can be only one.
Uluru?
Well blow down my didgeridoo
Yup, that was easy enough. Ayers Rock did finish a little-known Australian SF story called The Mountain Movers by being revealed as a stone space ship. Nevertheless Rosie gets there first and will take this boomerang-shaped baton for the next round. Well done!
Here we are at last
Talking of boomerangs, I made one in 1974 from instructions in the New Scientist, which explained the aerodynamics. I've still got it; it's probably under a pile of junk in the garage somewhere. It really works but you need an area the size of a football pitch and preferably no wind. Boomerangs are chiral, i.e. -handed and mine, to suit, is a southpaw. Having said all that, it's now deduction time.

The next object, which has but the most tenuous link with steam engines, is:

VEGETABLE and MINERAL

Who knows she (Yes, Bismarck, KagomeShuko is female) is not making any sense, but wanted to be silly
Is it a potato iron?
Salt and vinegar crisps?
A lemon battery?
A fossilized tree?
The Golden Arrow?
(KagomeSuko) Ace silliness, but wide of the mark by some distance.
(Raak) Well-known dehydrating agent? NO.
(Boolbar) Lemon battery? NO. Nor a Van de Grapefruit machine.
(Superman) NOT a fossilised tree.
(Softers) The flesh door? NO, not even when steam-hauled, alas.
Any wood (or trees) in this?
(Boolbar) There ought not to be. Basically, NO.
A bowl of vegetable soup?
Restaurant Car?
(Bismarck) Well, that's scrumptious thought but it ain't the answer.
(Softers) Not a restaurant car. You wouldn't get this in a decent restaurant car.
Coffee in a paper cup?
s/paper/plastic/
Is the mineral metal?
(Raak) Coffee in a paper cup. NO. *audience perks up*
(Superman) Mineral metal? NO. *some tittering among audience*
A carbonated beverage?
A beverage and its receptacle?
Mineral = stone?
(Boolbar) Carbonated beverage? Burp! NO.
(Raak) Beverage + receptacle? NO.
(Softers) Mineral not stone.
Is the mineral part glass?
(Bismarck) Glass? NO. *horrified laughs from the audience*
Is the vegetable human-edible?
Be it liquid at room temperature?
Lovely boomerang anecdote, Rosie :)
Massage oil?
Any chocolate in this?
(Superman) Veg part human edible? YES.*audience applause*
(Tuj) Liquid at room temperature? NO, but *some uncertain and quickly stifled audience reaction*
(Raak) NOT massage oil.
(Boolbar) Alas NO choccy.
(Tuj) I dug out the boomerang - it still exists. Tomorrow I'll see if I can still chuck it - theres a playing field at the back.
Is this anything to do with cookery?
[Rosie] Good luck with the boomerang. I got one as a lad and after reading the instructions and having a long debate about whether '5-15 degrees inclination' was from the vertical or the horizontal, I chucked it into a tree thirty yards away in a dead straight line.
(Bismarck) Cookery? Well, strictly YES, but I wouldn't quite dignifiy it with that term.

(boo meringues) I'm not sure the throwing angle is all that important but you must hold the asymmetric end and impart as much spin as possible. Mine is quite big (14" arms, 2" wide, marine ply) and I wouldn't like to be hit by it.

Is the mineral part edible?
(Bismarck) Mineral part edible? NO, though it probably wouldn't do you much harm.
Some sort of preserve?
[boomer angles] Many happy returns!
(Boolbar) NO, not a preserve.
Hidden textNot even a preserved steam engine
Is this something normally stored in a freezer
?
Clumsy fingers hitting first the enter key by mistake and then managing to bypass the "whoops" button.
Is the mineral part a wrapping?
I'm thinking British Rail sandwich...
(Boolbar) Store in a freezer? NO.
(simons Mith) Mineral part wrapping? Essesntially, YES, though this is not normally referred to as wrapping. But it's not a British Rail sandwich. *audience now showing considerable signs of animation*
q
oops
Is the mineral water?
(Raak) Is the mineral water what? Oh, I see. The mineral is NOT water.
A plastic-wrapped lettuce?
And the subsidiary question - is the mineral plastic?
Is the mineral part sand or soil?
(Superman) Plastic wrapped lettuce? NO. Subsidiaritily, NOT plastic.
(Boolbar) Mineral part NOT sand or soil.
Does the mineral part contain the vegetable part?
Could you swallow one whole?
Yes, I'm more baiting the audience than being useful, but at least I'm not asking about what letter it starts with.
(Raak) In one sense of the word "contain", YES.
(Tuj) You probably could but it would defeat the purpose of the AOTC and people would start worrying about you.
Is the AOTC usually spherical in shape?
(Boolbar) The AOTC is NEVER spherical.
Is the mneral part gold leaf?
(Raak) Mineral part gold leaf? NO, nothing so fancy.
Does it contain chocolate?
Is it something decorative?
(Raak) Contain chocolate? NO. *audience somewhat amused*
(Boolbar) Decorative? NO, very functional.
Is the mineral part made of crystals?
Is the mineral part an eggshell?
Is the mineral part clay?
(Boolbar) Mineral part made of crystals? NO.
(Raak) Mineral part an eggshell? NO.
(Superman) Clay? NOT made of clay.
Recap v1
I'm running out of ideas for minerals here. It's a sort of container but it's not made of any metal, plant material like paper of course, clay, crystal, soil, sand, stone, plastic, eggshell, or glass. What's left? The veggie bit is edible, but not chocolate or lettuce. The whole thing is functional and not spherical and has a link to cookery. It's not too big as you could swallow it whole.
Some sort of medication?
Is hot or boiling water used with the AOTC to make something else?
(Raak) NOT The Tablets.
(Boolbar) Hot water? YES. *audience goes wild*
Tea?
(Raak) Tea? YES, but not quite the AOTC. *audience goes even wilder*
Green Tea?
Is the mineral aluminium foil?
(Softers) NOT green tea.
(Raak) Mineral NOT aluminium (foil or any other form).
A tea caddy?
(Superman) A tea caddy? NO.
Is the mineral mixed with the tea?
(Raak) Mineral mixed with the tea? NO.
If you dropped one of these on a hard floor would it break?
(Raak) It would NOT break. *a few cruel audience sniggers*
Is the mineral rubber (synthetic, presumably)?
Is the mineral some sort of perforated container?
(Raak) NO, not rubber, synthetic or otherwise.
(Boolbar) Perforated container? YES. *audience goes completely potty*
A nylon teabag?
(Raak) Near enough. The AOTC is actually one of those accoutrements of haute cuisine, the teabag. I declare RAAK the winner and hand him the boiling kettle.
The next is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, ANIMAL, and ABSTRACT.
Is it everything?
[Boolbar] Not everything.
Animal = human?
Obviously not JRM or BoJo etc
[Software] Partly human.
The statue (Mineral) in my local park of someone riding a large cow and surrounded by other people (Animal) and carrying a cornucopia whence fall fruits of all kinds (Vegetable), which is entitled "Plenty" (Abstract)
[Bismarck] Not a statue.
Is it fictional?
[Boolbar] Can be fictional.
Are horses involved?
[Rosie] No horses (except perhaps abstractly).
Is it proverbial?
Is transport involved?
Not necessarily a steam train, of course.
[B] Not proverbial.
[R] In a sense, everything could be involved with this, but in the sense you're thinking, there is no transport involved.
A product of the brain?
[Dujon] Yes! A product of the brain.
An allegory? (AL / Leg / Egg / allegory)
[Superman] Not an allegory.
A dream?
[Rosie] Not a dream.
Perhaps I should note that the MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and ANIMAL aspects of this are not at all abstract. So not a dream, an allegory, a figure of speech, an idea, a philosophy, or a dread foreboding of doom.
Is the Mineral/Vegetable/Animal part a particular area and its contents?
[Boolbar] If I understand you, yes, this thing is made of its Mineral/Vegetable/Animal parts.
Does geography come into it?
[Bismarck] Geography does not specifically come into it.
Is it the Crown?
[SM] Not the Crown.
Does it cost a lot?
[Superman] Yes, one of these does cost a lot. (This is not a unique object.)
A mind map?
An image of The Buddha?
Long shot.
[S] Not a mind map.
[R] Not an image of the Buddha.
A private island?
[Superman] Not a private island.
An island?
[Boolbar] Not an island of any sort. Not a geographical feature, in fact.
Do these objects have strong links to reproduction?
[Dujon] No link to reproduction.
Any connection to research?
Do you own one?
[Rosie] applause! YES, there is a connection to research.
[Tuj] Yes, I think I could reasonably claim to have one.
A library?
[Rosie] Yes, a library. Have this scroll containing the rules to Mornington Crescent, rescued from the Library of Alexandria.
I say! Bravo, R & R
(Raak) A valuable historic document. Trouble is I can't lift it.

Forever onwards with ABSTRACT with strong ANIMAL connections

.
Is it an ostrich that has yet to be spotted?
Is it wild?
(Boolbar) The elusive ostrich? Unsurprisingly, NO.
Bismarck) *audience cackles* In a restricted sense, to some people, YES .
Rewilding?
Is it fictional?
(Raak) Rewilding? NO.
(Tuj) Fictional? This question is intrinsically unanswerable with present knowledge.
Is it associated with a particular animal species?
Well! There's an intriguing response.
Is it a story of uncertain factuality?
Extraterrestrial?
(Tuj) Particular animal species? YES, but that's not actually very helpful.
(Raak) Uncertain factuality? YES. *mixed audience reaction. Some murmurs of approval; some belly laughs*
(Boolbar) Extraterrestrial? NO, very much earth-bound.
A shaggy dog story?
A stand-up comic's act?
Is it a future event?
Does death play a part in this?
(Superman) Shaggy dog story? NO.
(Raak) Stand-up? *some suppressed giggling* NO.
Tuj) A future event? NOT KNOWN. It is certainly a possibility.
(Dujon) Death? NO.
Is a specific individual involved?
(Raak) Specific individual? NO.
Is sex involved?
(Superman) Sex? The mind boggles. NO, none whatever.
The afterlife?
(Raak) NO, not the afterlife. *cynical giggles from some of the audience*
A prophesy?
The horsemen of the Apocalypse?
(Raak) Some prophecies have been made in relation to this but essentially NO.
(Bismarck) NO, no gee-gees.
Is it related to politics?
(Tuj) Related to politics? YES. *prolonged audience applause*
Related to Brexit?
(Raak) Well, I think that's near enough. It is actually BREXIT and I hand you this toxic stick. Wear gloves.
looks for a Brexiteer's arse to bury it in

The next is MINERAL (I think, mostly) with ABSTRACT connections.

Is it found on the Earth?
It is found on the Earth.
Is it in Europe?
Is it a weapon?
[B] Some are in Europe.
[S] Hmm...not, strictly speaking, a weapon.
Is it a geographical feature?
[Rosie] Not a geographical feature.
A meteorite?
[Software] Not a meteorite.
Is it a monument?
[Bismarck] Not a monument.
Human made?
[Boolbar] Yes, human made.
Did it originate in Germany?
[Superman] Not from Germany.
Is it predominantly metal?
[Tuj] Not metal.
Did any of these exist over 1000 years ago?
[Boolbar] None of them existed over 1000 years ago.
Millennium Stones?
[Software] Not Millennium Stones (whatever those are).
Is it a work of art?
[Rosie] applause! It is art.
One or more Henry Moore mobiles?
[Bismarck] Not by Henry Moore. Not a mobile.
Does it have any watery connections?
[SM] No watery connections.
Is it an island wrapped by Christoph?
[Superman] Not an island wrapped by Christoph.
Is it associated with any particular date(s)?
Is it a representation of a fictional character?
[SM] No particular date.
[B] Some examples are representations of fictional characters.
Are these all by one artist?
[Boolbar] Applause! Works of a particular artist.
The Dali museum in Barcelona?
[Bismarck] Not Dali.
Hm, are they Banksies?
[SM] A winner! Yes, A Banksy graffito is the words on the card. Excuse me while I run this baton through a woodchipper before presenting it.
Whoops, now I've gotta think of one.

Um.

OK. These are usually MINERAL.

Even worse, I gotta remember what I picked!
Garden Gnomes?
Decorative?
Stones?
No again.
Trolls?
... No.
Found on Earth?
Oh good, a YES at last. Found on Earth.
Is there just one of these?
No, many.
Are these likely to be found in Antarctica?
No, not likely. (Very minor hint in comments)
Man-made?
YES, without exception. Well, um, except for all the ones that are woman-made, or any other gender variations.
Is it likely to be found in the home of an average Morniverser, if there is such a thing?
Yep, they're present even in a Crescenter's house.
Used for preparing or eating food?
YES. [Applause]
A chopping board?
No. Besides, I wouldn't have said chopping boards were usually mineral; I'd tend to assume wooden first, mineral second.
Is it a cast iron pan?
Nuh uh.
A container?
A tool for turning pieces of food into smaller pieces of food?
A piece of cutlery?
[Raak] Not really. [Bismarck] YES. [Audience checks contract, then whoops stamps and cheers.]
A Fork?
Which way shall I go?
No, not a fork. You're so close!
A spork?
I thought that might happen :-)
No. But you're even closer than Boolbar was.
A sporknife?
No, and it's probably not spopsticks either.
Does this magnificent utensil have a brand name ending in "ayd"
[Dujon] Alas, no.
Does it rhyme with 'swoon'?
YES! [Stretchers arrive to ferry out a couple of audience members who fainted from excitement.]
Can it be preceded by the word "dessert"?
YES, it can. By Jove you're really narrowing it down now.
Can it be made from wood?
I can see a theme coming through here.. it must be a - but I'll let Raak answer that.
Wood? YES.
Has the existence of this thing been notably denied?
Can this object be bent, as if by magic?
YES. They may even have been a Japanese anime about it, although I could be wrong there.
[Raak] Utensil denial: YES.
Should one count these at the end of a dinner party, especially if a guest has talked overmuch of his honour?
Utensil census: YES.
Can two of these be used as a makeshift percussion instrument?
Utensil chorus: YES.
A fpoon?
CdM if the winner!
Utenfil claffification: YEF!
I waf ftarting to get worried you wouldn't get it.

Thankf to the great generofity of Raak I have hundredf of tiny (but rather fplintery) batonf to paff over. Here, have thif one.

Fo clofe yet fo far ;^)
Ahem *taps micro* Chalky? You there?
Well I have plenty more tiny batons if anyone else wants one...
[CdM] Is it the concept of suspense?
How about a Collective Consciousness round?
I shall channel my inner CdM and answer, NO.

Is it edible?

I can feel in my water...
that the answer is YES.

Is it an animal?

By the pricking of my thumbs...
that too is a YES

Does it begin with a P?
Consulting the seaweed...
Alas, that is a NO

Does it live in water?

The flight of the birds says...
that is also a NO

Is it a ...bird?

Tossing the I Ching sticks...
gives the answer YES.

Is it a duck?

NO, I don't think it's a duck.
Carry on, please
Yikes! Sorry! Forgot all about having made that guess.
Is it a well-known pie filling?
According to my latest tarot reading ..
It might be
Ha! I've got it - it's an ostrich, and it's over there!
*Escaping from pie factory*
Bugger! *hides in London underground network*
'S a tunnel. Scoddaby
Rural Lincolnshire invoked.
What, an edible tunnel? Lincs people are weird.
Well, that's golf for you. Is it......a NIBLICK?
Enough of ostriches
The next challenge is Animal

Is it human?
I was beginning to think that everyone had gone on strike.
No, Tuj, nor does it start with a 'P'.
Is it a mammal?
Is it an individual?
Does it... oh! Um... Is it alive?
(Boolbar) NO, Sir, although it might be described as such.
(Raak) NO
(Tuj)YES
Is it native to Australia?
Surprise! The audience gasps for air.
(Rosie) YES
Be it a monotreme?
Single stringed tremes
(Tuj) NO.Be it a treme or not, it don't lay no eggs, Sarr.
Was it once a treme but now a sadly burnt out ex-treme?
A marsupial?
Burnt alive?
(Rosie) NO. Is not New Orleans still jiving?
Pickpockets?
(Raak) YES.*The audience comes again alive*
A wallaby?
Gotta be. :-)
Hopping around the AOTC?
(Rosie) NO. *The audience sighs and goes back to sleep*
A collective noun of wombats?
Mythical?
Wombaticate dreaming?
(Bismarck) NO.
(Raak) NO, not at all - see the earlier answer to Tuj
In Australia?
*sighing*
(Software) I refer you to Rosie's first post in this game.
A quoll?
Quoll or quill the pen is mightier...
(Bismarck) NO.
Tasmanian Devil?
(Bismark) Sorry, been away
That Van Dieman fella?
Sorry, Softers, the answer is NO. In fact there are none of these animals on that wonderful island.
A mob of kangaroos?
Is it singular?
Individual
Individuals and 'roos
(Bismarck) Hardly (i.e. NO)
(Kago) Certainly not (i.e. also NO)
Koala?
Piss Pots?
(Software) YESSSS!
I pass to you a rough but furry baton. Be aware though that it has the propensity to leak.
Gosh! Is it me? I have been dozing.
Hmmm. Let me see: Ah, yes. Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connexions.
A human activity?
A piece of art?
An academic study of some kind?
42?
An alarm clock?
You deserved that, Software. :)
[Rosie]Something to do? Yes
[Bismark]Arty farty? No
[SM]Lurning? No
[Raak]Hitching? No
[Dujon]Wake up call? No
Physical law?
Anything to do with politics?
Related to agriculture?
[Raak] Physics? No
[Rosie] General incompetence? Up to a point, yes
[Dujon] Farmer Giles? No
Using a machine?
A law?
To do with Brexit?
[Superman] Mechanics? No.
[Bismarck] Legal? No (a smattering of weak claps in audience)
[Raak] The 'B' word? How dare you? No
A proverb?
[Raak] Proverbial? No
Bureaucracy?
Something to do with the armed forces?
[SM] Officialdom? - Yes (some of the audience clap)
[Dujon] Military? No
Hm, a little bit political and a little bit bureaucratic. But not military or educational. Religious?
An organization?
[SM] Faith? No (someone in the audience claps)
[Raak] Organization? No
The House of Commons?
[Bismarck] The madhouse? - Definitely No.
Red tape?
Health and Safety bollocks I mean culture?
I am on holiday for a couple of weeks so responses may be intermittent
[Duj] Officialdom? - No a smattering of weak claps from the audience)
[Rosie] More than my job's worth? - No
To do with a shared interest or activity?
I'm back!
[Raak]Common interest? YES some claps from audience
Are maps involved?
The Morniverse?
Sporting?
[Boolbar] Cartography? NO
[Raak] Here? NO but of course it does overlap with the AOTC
[Bismarck] Sporting? YES - in certain circumstances a few claps from the audience
Games of the board, card, and screen kind?
A trivia game?
A game of any other sort?
[All above] Nothing to do with games per se. A few claps from the audience
Distraction desperately engaged in to avoid despair at the sins of the world?
There might be a word for this, but I can't think what it is.
Commuting?
A shared human activity of a bureaucratic nature, possibly related to politics, which may involve sport or the Morniverse in some way.
[Raak] Hermit like? NO
[Superman] Daily grind? NO Hint: maybe the exact opposite - a couple of random claps from audience.
The Lotus Position ?
Competition?
Opposite of commuting ... hm, is that travelling for pleasure, or staying in one place while stuff comes to you? Visiting ? Having things delivered ?
Online shopping?
[To expand on the thought I had earlier]
[SM] Lazy mall? NO audience chuckles I suppose this could be an aspect of the AOTC which BTW has two words.
How remiss of me. * cleans glasses *
[Bismarck] Yoga stuff? - NO
[Dujon] Adversaries?- NO
Are we losing the will to live
Computers?
[Superman] Computers - NO.
Hint: AOTC 2 words. There is a limited number of these. The term refers to the UK only.
Give way?
Is there a connection to the calendar?
[Bismarck] Road signage, I presume. - NO
[SM] Dates? - YES * audience claps furiously *
A bank holiday?
Bingo!
[Bismarck] You are on the money. Hands over damp baton.
Oohh, ta ever so much. I'll spend the money down at the seaside.
The game commences...
This one is Vegetable in its essence.
Is it tomato ketchup?
Is it alive?
Is it something extracted from a plant?
Beginning with 'P'?
Is it cubic?
[Simons Mith] NOT a table condiment.
[Rosie] NOT living.
[Raak] YES, it is extracted from a plant.
[Software] NOT beginning with "P".
The audience that made it back from the interval are engaged in polite applause.
Does it begin with E?
[Softers] Cheeky :D
[Tuj] Nice to hear from you. Let me state that there are two words on the card, NEITHER beginning with "E".
A spice?
Is it cubic and am I repeating myself?
A poison?
Is this generally brewed in hot water prior to ingestion?
[Raak] NOT a spice.
[Boolbar 1] NOT cubic, though this does usually have a geometric shape.
[Boolbar 2] Sorry, dear.
[Rosie] NOT a poison.
[Dujon] NOT a hot drink, but it is cooked involving a little water. The audience is still showing signs of interest.
Pasta?
Processed in some way?
[Raak] NO, definitely not Italian.
[Software] Hmmm... YES, on balance, in the sense that this requires mixing of ingredients and cooking.
The audience is maintaining a polite silence.
A cake?
Bovril?
A primary ingredient like sugar for example?
[Raak] NOT a cake.
[Super] NOT Bovril.
[Software] NOT sugar, though it is the major ingredient.
Smartphones have made their appearance among the audience. Bored? Surely not...
Is fruit involved?
Fairy/Candy Floss?
[Raak] NO, not as such.
[Dijon] NO, but that deserves a round of applause.
Hoots and skirls from the Scots in the audience, mumbles of approval from the Yorkshiremen. Some muted cries of "Not bad!" from the polite seats.
Glacé cherries?
A well-known Scottish delicacy, they are.
Hot chocolate?
A sugar basket?
[S.M.] NO, Nice try but no fruit.
[SW] NO, not a drink.
[R] Getting close, at least as far as the sugar goes, but a bit too high-class. Still a NO.
The part of the audience who know what a sugar basket is give a restrained round of applause.
… Glacé potatoes?
1) Toffee? 2) Everton mints?
[SimonsM] Sell that idea to McCain's!
[Simons Mith] NO. Great idea though.
[Superman] Nice thinking! Toffee is almost a yes, it could be argued that it's an ingredient, Everton mints are getting closer, but NO!
The interest of the audience is being maintained, with some "Ooohs!" showing their appreciation.
So not glacé haggis either. Fudge
Tablet?
Scotch tablet?
(The second of those was supposed to replace the first. )
Caramel?
[Simons Mith] NOT fudge. Quite the opposite, down-to-earth sort of thing, this.
[Raak] NO, although that is the name of the next-but-one release of Android (with built-in joke).
[Software] NOT caramel.
This is all going a bit soft. Murmurs heard among the audience.
A boiled sweet?
[Raak] YES it is made in that way.
Sensation in the audience.
Audience snoring
Two words on the card...
Is it some sort of mint?
[Boolbar] Maybe mint flavouring is available, but the AOTC is not actually a mint.
Hint: it doesn't come from Yorkshire
Brighton Rock?
[CdM] What, the book by Graham Greene? But seriously, NO, but that is so close. Try a different coast.
Audience give thunderous applause.
Gone quiet in here...
Jailhouse Rock?
Surely there's a prison somewhere that makes its own...
Does the name on the rock also relate to a tower?
Is the place one of which John Clute, the science fiction critic, remarked that it was the first time he had seen pigeons pecking at human vomit in the streets?
[Simon's Mith] No, although there is a prison not too far away.
[Dujon] Yes indeed.
[Raak] Among other things Mr Clute was shocked at, yes indeed. No doubt Canada is more cultured.
A polite hush descends, breathlessly awaiting the answer...
Plymouth Rock?
Got it, surely!!
The tranquillity is breached by [CdM] getting it wrong. Not Inchcape Rock, Fraggle Rock or any other mineral, just to save you the trouble.
Audience murmurs reach force three.
Morecambe Rock?
Liverpool rock's more usually termed 'Mersey Beat', isn't it?
[CdM] YES!! Actually NO, but I'm getting fed up.
[Simon's Mith] Other than those witnesses to global warming, the Arctic Monkeys. Please stick to the subject.
The audience has formed an action group and are shouting "What do we want? The Answer! When do we want it? NOW!"
Fleetwood Rock?
Am I getting warmer?
Blackpool Rock
Gotta be!
I was going to say that CdM was close enough for me, but Blackpool rock it is, so Rosie cannot be denied. Rosie will now take this sweet baton (not that end, I've been sucking it there) and note that it has the word WINNER written all the way through!
Audience clap Rosie politely
Good heavens, I've won. There's lucky, inni' aye.

We'd better quickly have another one.

This is ABSTRACT and absolutely nothing whatever to do with steam engines.

Everything that has nothing whatever to do with steam engines?
(CdM) Multiple Choice answers are forbidden in that they violate the essential rigour of the Morniverse.
Does music come into it?
(Superman) Music? NO.
Philosophical?
(Bismark) NO, nothing to do with philosophy.
Would this be related to the sub-conscience rather than conscienceness?
(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with thought processes.
Is it a method or plan of some kind?
(Simons Mith) No, not a method or plan.
A saying?
(Raak) NOT a saying.
Weather related?
A measurement?
(Boolbar) Weather related? YES. *thunderous (sic) applause*
(Simons Mith) A measurement? YES. *slight murmurs of disapproval*
A record?
(Raak) NO, not a record.
Is it localised?
(Bismarck) Localised? YES, sort of.
The eye of a hurricane?
Climate change?
(CdM) NOT the eye of a hurricane.
(Raak) NOT Climate Change.
Is it too darn hot?
(Superman) Too darn hot? NO, but *considerable audience murmurings*
Something meteorologists do?
(Raak) Something meteorologists do? NO. The AOTC is one word, a noun.
Scorchio?
... actually that's a verb. Wrong again. Hi Rosie
Is it 'isobar'?
(Chalky) Hello, m'dear, nice to see you again. Unfortunately your suggestion is wrong. Isn't scorchio an adjective? If I may indulge myself I would suggest that it is a Welsh verb, the -io- ending being the giveaway. Could mean "to burn the toast" &c.
(Simons Mith) NO, not an isobar, nothing quite so technical.
Weather?
Fog?
(Raak) NO, not weather.
(Bismarck) NO, not fog.
Temperature?
(Chalky) Temperature? NO. *some murmurs from the audience*
Drought?
YESS! Superman has it. The total absence of aqueous entities. Take this baton and give it a wipe 'cos it's been standing about in the rain.
Ze next round
Counters set to zero, AOTC generator enclenched, combobulator aligned, sphinx tube at operating temperature, and posting a live Facebook stream. Ok, that should do it. This is MINERAL, and may God bless all that sail in her.
A bathtub?
Is it a single object?
Mainly metal?
Episode 1, in which certain questions are raised
[Simon] NO
[Raak] NO
[Rosie] On balance, and after some research showing that no-one is too clear what it is made of, NO.
Is it found on Earth?
Does water come in to it?
Chapter 2, in which questions do not reveal answers
[Raak] On balance, NO, in the sense that the earth is not its natural habitat, but reports have mentioned it being found here.
[Bismark] NO.
Is it found in the Solar System?
Edscottite?
A hot plasma?
Section 3, in which our thoughts take us far away
[Raak] NO, although some "reports" etc. etc.
[CdM] NO, but that gets a big round of applause from the audience.
[Rosie] NO.
The material of an extremely dense object?
Is it found in our galaxy?
Dark matter?
Part 4, in which Jane realises that the Comte de Chambord is up to no good, and she says "NO" a lot.
[Rosie] NO.
[Raak] The galaxy being big an' all, who knows, there may well be some. But otherwise NO, though some "reports" etc. etc.
[Bism] That gets a round of applause only for the inventiveness. NO.
Is it fictional?
Is its existence anywhere speculative?
Kryptonite?
Fit the Fifth, in which all is revealed
[Rosie] YES. Now we're getting somewhere.
[Raak] Also YES.
[Simon] YES. Kryptonite it is.
Studio tapes of hard static played, imitating applause.
Please take this green, glowing baton, it's been having a bad effect on me.
Hm, well this green otherworldly glow I'm seeing is inspiring me. Let's try... VEGETABLE.
Edible?
Is it processed or in a natural state?
[Rosie] NO
[Superman] Also NO.
Wood?
[Raak] NO.
Some sort of fungus?
Fictional?
Beginning with 'P'?
[Raak] NO.
[Boolbar] AYE.
[Software] NO.
Liftwood?
I'm asking for Stevie, here
[Bismevie] NO.
Is this a piece of botany taken from the Harry Potter books?
The Luggage?
[Raak] NO. But that's another cool idea
[Superman] NO. Oops, nearly missed that one. Sorry.
Grass?
[Bismarck] NO.
A flower?
An alga?
[Bismarck] YUP.
[Superman] NO.
So we're looking for an imaginary, inedible flower which doesn't appear in Harry Potter.
[Bismarck] YES!
Is it from a television program?
[Boolbar] YYYYES.
Weed?
(from Bill and Ben. Not that I remember that programme. Definitely not. My grandparents used to tell me about it.)
[CdM] NO.
Clue?
I'll give out a clue on Sunday if there's no movement.
Is it from a sci-fi programme?
[Boolbar] AFFIRMATIVE.
Is it carnivorous?
[CdM] ABSATIVELY.
Were triffids carnivorous?
Does it say "FEEED MEEEE"?
A winner
[Bismarck] YES. Well I thought they were. Don't they sting you, then leave you to rot and soak up the juices? Perhaps that technically counts as something else. But AIUI even carnivorous plants only use meat as a dietary supplement.
[Raak] No, just clackclackclack as far as I remember.
Bismarck has it.
I'll just put on a nice thick pair of gloves and then hand over this... baton.
And so it begins again...
No way I am touching that thing. Right, here is the mystery voice to tell the audience, but you lot only get to know that it's
VEGETABLE.
Let's do it traditionally
Forgot the line. So let's see your ideas for another
VEGETABLE.
Fictional?
[Boolbar] NO, my in-laws had one.
Often found potted?
[Dujon] NEVER found potted.
A tree?
Air plant?
You can get trees in pots. You just need a bigger pot. Or a smaller tree.
[Raak] NOT a tree. Though it might once have been one.
[Simons Mith] NOT an air plant.
Unique?
[Tuj] NOT unique.
An item of furniture?
[Simons Mith] YES, it is an item of furniture. Much braying and waving of IKEA catalogues in the audience.
A dresser?
I'm thinking, a slightly uncommon item of furniture.
Is it for putting things in?
[Simon's Mith] NO, not a dresser. The AOTC might have turned up in the eponymous film, I shouldn't wonder.
[Raak] I feel it would make a rather unwieldy tool, so NO.
Did Dr. Caligari have one?
[Raak] He might well have done, though AFAIK there wasn't one in his cabinet. So NO.
Is it commonly upholstered?
Half-way there, and it's looking good...
[Simons Mith] NEVER upholstered, commonly or not.
A lampstand?
[Raak] NOT a lampstand. Note for Chelsea supporters: there is no such thing as a "tand."
Is it for sitting upon?
[Boolbar] NOT for sitting on.
A hatstand?
A footstool?
A hammock?
A set of sstocks?
*stocks
[Simons Mith] NOT a hat stand, NOR a hammock.
[Software] NOT a footstool.
[Raak] NOT a set of stocks.
Is it for sleeping on?
Is it a notable example of a whatever-it-is?
Does it have a pointy end?
[Raak] NO, that is not its primary function.
[Simons Mith] NO, this is a generic item.
[Boolbar] There MAY BE examples that have finials and thingummies, but it isn't necessary for the definition of the whatever-it-is.
Is it a dumb waiter?
A church pew?
A lectern?
Definitely not for sitting on.
BTW the mental picture I'm painting of your in-laws is getting stranger by the minute.
Your twenty questions are up...
[Superman] NOT a dumb waiter.
[Raak] NOT a church pew.
[Simon's Mith, who henceforth will be spelt with an apostrophe as I can't be bothered correcting it any more] NOT a lectern.
A hint - found in a house.
Usually found in a kitchen?
Do IKEA sell them?
[Boolbar] NOT usually found in the kitchen.
[Raak] YES, in a very stripped-down Swedish sort of way.
Do you put things on this thing?
[Raak] YES, you can put things smaller than this thing on this thing.
A shelf?
[Software] NO, not a shelf, but the thingy is shelfish to an extent.
A mantelpiece?
[Simon's Mith] NO, the whatchamacallit is not a mantelpiece.
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Going back to the fundamentals...
[Raak] YES, the thingy is larger than a toaster.
A Welsh dresser?
You're on the right lines, look for the curios. [Superman] NO, the rabbit is not a Welsh dresser.
Is it for displaying knick-knackery, bric-a-brac, trinkets, curios, and the like?
[Raak] YES, that is the most common usage of the whatever-it-is.
A cabinet of curiosities?
Although I have a hard time imagining IKEA stocking one.
[Raak] Well, there's the KASSEBY...
[Raak] NO, not a cabinet. IKEA still have a thing under the name of some fruit that could be described as the AOTC, but the version I found when the subject came up first has now disappeared from the catalogue.
I have no idea. Is that it?
Is it a display case sold with a subscription to receive a uniquely designed collectible thimble every month until you build up a treasured heirloom to pass on to your descendants, who will after a decent but short interval (say, on return from the funeral) chuck it in the bin?
People who collect thimbles (it says on a thimble-collecting site) are known as Digitabulists. How very depressing.
Ideas for names of occasional furniture seem to be drying up
[Raak] NO.
[Superman] YES, the thingamajig does seem to be something you don't know.
A vitrine?
[Raak] NO. No glass involved.
Does it normally stand on the floor?
[Raak] YES. The audience has got up a petition to give you the prize for sheer effort.
Does it typically have (just) one leg?
Does it have wheels?
[Raak] Not sure if that's typical - the one my in-laws have has only one leg. Let's say YES.
[Simons Mith] NO wheels on this whatsit.
Would one typically put a specific type of item on this thing?
Is it usually found in a corner of a room?
[Tuj] NO.
[Boolbar] YES, I thank that's fair.
All gone away..
Spoiler alert...
Is it characteristic of a particular region of the world?
An umbrella stand?
[Raak] I would have sworn that the whatsit was peculiarly British, but my in-laws also have one and they're Belgian. It was quite a culture shock.
[Software] NO.
An elephant's-foot wastebasket?
Is it foldable?
Is it usually fixed to a wall as well as standing on one leg?
[Raak] NO, perish the thought.
[Simons Mith] NO. The idea will be passed to MFI, though, you could be on to something.
[Boolbar] NO.
Does anything hang from it?
[Raak] NO, the thingummy does not so serve.
Is it portable or mobile?
I found some old-fashioned portable desks and things that seem to fit all the constraints applied so far.
Is it some type of table?
A tallboy?
[Boolbar] NO, not some kind of table.
[Raak] NO, not a tallboy, though I have no doubt that a room with a tall boy, a vitrine, an elephant's foot basket and maybe a Welsh dresser would also have one of the AOTC.
Is there a specific type of thing that this thing is designed to have put on it?
[Raak] NO, quite the opposite.
A drawer?
Is the Ikea LILLÅNGEN End Unit an example?
[Software] NO, drawers are very rare.
[Raak] SORT OF, but these whatchamacallits are always open framed, so you'd have to take the sides and door off, probably ditch the MDF for real wood, make the shelves smaller as they rose (optional, but traditional), and make the frame somewhat decorative carved.
I asked the Internet again and while you can still buy these things (including a modern plastic and aluminium version which gave me a frisson of horror), their heyday was before WW1.
And the winner is...
To be decided in a celebrity boxing match.
Late inspiration
It's not a box is it? A one-legged box?
Does part of the thing rotate?
Simons Mith] NO, not a box. Clues have been made as to the nature of the wotsit, though.
[Boolbar] NO, it doesn't rotate. No mechanism involved.
A plant stand?
No self-respecting Victorian would go without an Aspedestra.
[Software] This is a typical usage of the AOTC, as a stand for aspidistras and objets d'art... but it has a specific name, so NO.
A jardinière?
[Raak] NO. That's too specific, you can put bric-à-brac, mementoes and whatnot on this as well.
A cachepot?
[Raak] NO.
A whatnot?
Ah, grandchildren, gather round and I'll tell you the story of The Never-Ending Game.
Or you can ask Uncle Software, he did win it.
Congratulations - a whatnot it is! Take this baton-shaped objet d'art once owned by a lady from North Wales and give us your estimation of the insurance value.
Bugger! Now I must think of something.
OK, here goes: ANIMAL and VEGETABLE , that's it.
Is there a tree of some kind
Customarily eaten?
Is this a symbiosis?
A vegan? ;)
[Boolbar] In a way sometimes, YES.
[Raak] YES
[Bismarck] NO
[Dujon] Vegan? There's a thought. NO.
A sandwich?
A pie?
Is it cooked?
[Raak] Sarnie> NO
[Boolbar] Who ate them all? YES but not the AOTC
[Superman] Oven ready - or is that a hackneyed phrase? YES
A pie containing four-and-twenty blackbirds?
Is the vegetable bit fruit?
A mince pie?
[Raak] Close but no cigar
[Bismarck] Fruity? Oh YES, but
[Rosie] is on the money! YES. - Hands over the chocolate log shaped baton.
WOO! I jes lurve Min Spies. Sorry, I've had to eat the baton before it melts.

And the next object is ABSTRACT

Is it the thought of eating a mince pie?
Christmas?
Is it the answer?
(Boolbar) Nice, but alas, no.
(Raak) No - thank God
(Superman) No. I'm not clever enough to do recursiveness.
An English idiom?
Connected with the current season?
Whether that be winter, Christmas, Kwanzanukkawali, etc.
Does it begin with P?
(Software) Not an idiom.
(Raak) Not seasonal in any way.
(Tuj) Begins with a P? YES.
Is it property ?
Mathematical?
An art form?
A state of mind?
(Bismarck) Property? Only in the sense that many people have one of these, but realistically NO.
(Boolbar) There is a connection with maths but it is so broad and vague as to be worthless. So, NO.
(Raak) I doubt even Tracey Emin could make art out of this, so NO.
(Software) NO, not a state of mind.
A paradox?
(Raak) A paradox? NO.
A science?
A pseudonym?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a science.
(Raak) A pseudonym? NO, but *some audience animation*.
Is it psychological?
(Bismarck) Psychological? NO.
Profession?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a profession.
A nickname?
Does it come from the Greek?
(Softers) A nickname? Strictly speaking NO but the AOTC does have some of the properties of a nickname. *alert members of the audience perk up*
(Radox the Green) NO, not from the Greek.
A patronym?
I was wondering about that earlier.
(Simons Mith) Like all Welsh surnames? NO, not a patronym.
A secret identity?
An acronym?
(Softers) An acronym? YES. *whoops of delight from thosemembers of the audience who know what an acronym is*
Is it a socio-economic classification?
I can't think of a 'P' word for it, but things like NIMBYs, DINKies, CHAVs, AMRAAMs and so on.
(Simons Mith) Socio-economic classification? NO.
(Raak) A secret identity? YES. *great audience animation*
Peter Parker?
Personal Identification PIN Number?
Does the acronym contain more than three letters?
Is it letters after your name?
SIMONS MITH has it! It's a PIN. Well done.

The baton passes on.......

All right, let's go for MINERAL
Is there just one of this?
[Raak] NO.
Are there just fourteen of these?
Is this a manufactured object?
Is it found on Earth?
[CdM] No.

[Rosie] Yes.

[Boolbar] Yes.

Is the quantity of these expressive as the sum of two primes?
[Radox The Green] Why yes, yes it is.
Is it metallic?
Are you assuming Goldbach's Conjecture?
[Software] No.

[Raak] No.

Made of plastic?
Is it liquid?
[Raak] No.

[Bismarck] No.

Is it made of concrete?
Are there fewer than fourteen of these?
Is it a memorial?
[Raak] No. Although I presume some are.

[CdM] No.

[Superman] No again.

Could the average Morniverser lift one of these?
Man-made?
Is it a type of gemstone?
Are these all in one country?
[Rosie] No.

[Raak] YES

[Superman] No.

[Boolbar] No.

A building?
Does it begin with P?
Bigger than a toaster?
[Superman] Nay.

[pTuj] Nay.

[Raak] Aye.

Bigger than an elephant?
Does it emit musical sounds?
But is it art?
Do they come in pairs?
[Raak] No

[Bismarck] No.

[Tuj] No.

[Boolbar] Also no.

Are they very valuable?
A means of transport?
Ceramic?
[Raak] No.

[Rosie] ... No.

[Superman]... No.

Is it a rock?
[Bismarck] No. What would count as a man-made rock?
[SM] Wouldn't a lump of concrete be a man-made rock?
Can you buy one on Amazon?
Anything to do with gardening?
[Raak, man-made rocks] I suppose. I suspect a geologist might be harder to convince.

[Amazon] No, they don't sell 'em. That eliminates a lot.

[Rosie] No, not a thing.

Is it a tool?
Fake rocks for sale and methods of manufacture are common on The Internet...
[Bismarck] Not a tool.

[Fake rocks] This is getting philosophical, but if it's a fake rock, it's not a real rock, and if it's not a real rock, it's not a rock. Right?

One of the Milton Keynes concrete cows?
[Rosie] No. Concrete had already been eliminated.
Is it made of stone?
[Superman] Nope.
Does it require electricity?
Are they usually wet?
[Tuj, electrickery] No.

[Boolbar, moistery] No, not even in Ireland or New Zealand. I admit in Kiwiland it might be close.

just a question
So if mineral is chosen, is that just like a thing that isn't an animal or a plant (vegetable)?
[KagomeShuko] It does tend to get a bit blurry if you look at it too closely. I think we'd all agree coal and plastic are mineral, for example. [But if someone does pipe up to disagree, that shows it's even closer than I'd thought.]
Are these concentrated in one particular area of the world?
Are they typically fixed to the ground?
Is anyone offering one on eBay?
question - is this correct
Being American, mineral is something extremely specific. One site told me, "English people define everything as being either Animal (if it is alive) Vegetable (if it grows) or Mineral (if it isn't alive, doesn't grow and comes from the ground.)"
[Rosie, concentration] Not really.

[Boolbar, fixed] Yes. You won't find any flying ones.

[Raak, eBay] No.

[KagomeShuko, minerals] I'd say that's a reasonable usage for this game. But a dead cat is still animal, and oxygen is still mineral even though it doesn't come out of the ground.

Does it have a common use?
[Superman, common use] Yes.
Do people usually make these themselves?
[Raak, self-made] No.
A natural phenomenon?
Is it a bomb shelter? A septic tank? A port-a-potty?
[Raak, natural] No, man-made.

[KagomeShuko] No, no, and thrice no. But those are the closest guesses yet.

Bollards.
Does glass come into it?
[Boolbar, the same to you!] No.

[Bismarck, glass] No.

Would the Average Morniverser, if there is such a thing, have one of these in his/her house?
[Rosie, average Morniverser] That's harder to estimate. On balance I think Yes.
Does one place things in this?
[Rosie, xxxxplace] No... but I think you're getting warmer
An Aga cooker?
[Bismarck] No; I expect those would be buyable on eBay, at least occasionally.
Is this thing kept inside?
[Superman, indoors] No. But also see answer to Rosie's.
Is it related to gardening?
[Raak, gardening] Nope.
Can it be bought in a shop?
[Raak, shoppable] No.
Does it consist of empty space?
Is it usually made of metal?
[Raak, empty space] Doesn't everything? No, it's not just empty space.

[Tuj, metal] No.

Is this a part of a typical building?
[Boolbar] Yes.
It is related to the void spaces within a building?
[Raak, void] Yes.
A rubbish chute?
A cavity wall?
[Rosie, chute] No

[Raak, cavity] No.

A house extension?
Does Father Christmas like these?
A room?
[Raak, extension] No.

[Dujon, Xmas] I don't know whether he likes them, but they are a necessary component of his professional work. Let's class that as a YES.

[Boolbar] No.

Are these things traditionally cleaned by Dick van Dyke, sporting an absurd Cockney accent?
[Raak, DVD] I dunno WTF he was cleaning; I couldn't get through the accent. But let's a assume a YERS or a YE-US or a YUS or however he would have pronounced it.
The cupboard under the stairs?
[Rosie] No. Good try but no.
An inglenook?
[Supes] No, not one of them neither.
The bog? Er, I mean the loo?
[Rosie] No, not a kludgie.
Is this space large enough to enter?
[Rosie] Well, we know Father Christmas can, so YES, I guess.
A chimney?
YES. A nice red-bricked chyimminny.
Here, have this baton. Mind the soot.
When ah were a lad it were a CHIMBLY, but now it's

ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
A superstition?
Racing of some kind?
(Raak) A superstition? NO.
(Simons Mith) Racing? NO.
A live animal?
Is it weather related?
A work of art depicting an animal?
(Bismark) The Animal Connections are certainly alive but this is not the AOTC.
(Boolbar) Weather related? NO.
(Raak) NOT a work of art of any kind.
A work of writing?
Associated with a particular place?
(Raak) NOT a written work.
(Tuj) Associated with a particular place? YES *warm audience applause*
Shangri la?
Crufts?
(Softers) Shangri-la? NO, nothing so exotic.
(Simons Mith) Crufts? NO. No doggies involved.
Welsh? ;)
Fictional?
Would this be something primarily for children?
Are the connected animals four-legged?
(Tuj) Welsh? NO, believe it or not.
(Raak) Fictional? NO, real.
(Bismarck) For children? NO.
(CdM) 4-legged animals? Now, that would be interesting, but the answer is definitely NO.
Is the associated place in the UK?
Worm charming?
(Boolbar) In the UK? YES
(Simons Mith) Can that be done? It's NOT the answer anyway, alas.
Swan upping?
Are the animal connections human?
Is this an activity?
(Simons Mith) Er, wassat, then? I'm afraid it's no nearer the answer.
(Tuj) Animal connections human? YES.
(Raak) An activity? NO.
Be it connected to sport?
(Tuj) Connected to sport? NO.
Is this something that happens once a year?
(Boolbar) Annual event? NO, it's continuous.
Is it an agricultural activity?
(Simons Mith) Agricultural? That would be a cruel if understandable interpretation of this. Short answer, NO.
Wool-gathering?
(Raak) Wool-gathering? NO.
Is it a job role or title?
Is it a metaphorical expresion?
(Tuj) Job role or title? NO.
(Raak) Metaphorical? No, it's what it says on the tin.

The AOTC is not in the least obscure but it is unusual for this game.

The Cerne Giant?
(Bismarck) Old Knobhead? The AOTC is Abstract.
An accent?
Abstract but associated with a particular area got me well stumped.
(Simons Mith) An accent? YES. *audience ecstatic*
Cockney?
(CdM) Cockney? Jokin' mate.
Welsh?
Acute? Oh no, that'd be associated with somewhere in France. Cornish?
(Raak) NOT a Welsh accent, North or South. (Welsh has already been eliminated).
(Simons Mith) Cornish? NO. A grave error.
Scouse.
(Superman) Scouse? NO, you're in the wrong areal.
Black Country...?
[Superman] no such luck eh? Anyway you hardly spoke it.
RP?
(Bismarck) Yam flailing about, it seems. NOT Black Country.
(CdM) RP? Oh, good heavens, no.
This is an urban variant of a regional accent. I have put a bit of a giveaway clue somewhere in here.
Brizzle?
Geordie, then.
(Bismarck) NOT Geordie, but SOFTERS HAS IT. Gert accurate, proper like. Award yourself the ceremonial bananal.
Hidden textTHe clue was in my last response to Superman
What? Me again? Well I'm buggered! Tha's gurt lush m'deariol.

Right then. MINERAL with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections.

Manufactured item?
The salt on my fish 'n' chips?
[Rosie] Made up? In a way, YES.
[Boolbar] Tasty, but NO.
A plate of fish and chips with mushy peas?
Is there just one of this?
Does it have an alliterative name?
A country?
[Bismarck] Luvly grub? NO
[Raak] Unique? YES
[Tuj] Lettered? NO
[Simons Mith] National? NO
On Earth?
Is it found inside a building?
[Simons Mith] Terrestrial? YES
[Boolbar] Internal? NO
But is it art?
A statue?
Is it a natural phenomenon that has been 'defined' in some way, such as a nature reserve?
[Tuj[ Good question, some might say, some might not.
[Rosie] Statuesque? NO.
[Simons Mith] Phenomena? NO.
Is it in England?
[Bismarck] Blighty? YES.
Is it in a town or city?
A fossilized tree?
Is it ancient?
Is it manmade?
Is it functional?
[Raak] Urban? NO
[Bismacck] Coal? NO
[Bismarck] Ancient? Depends on how you define "ancient"
[Tuj] Man made? YES
[CdM] Functional? YES
A reservoir?
A bridge?
[Somons Mith] Water dump? NO
[Raak] Over troubled water? YES
Recap v1
So it's a bridge. In England, but not in a town. It may be of some antiquity. And possibly involving artistics.
The Severn bridge?
A road bridge?
[Bismarck] First or second? NO
[Rosie] Roadie? YES
The Iron Bridge?
[Raak] Mr Darby's masterpiece? NO
Is the road either a main road or a motorway?
Building, Burning, or Falling Down
Is it the Richmond Bridge, the Tower Bridge, or the Tarr Steps?
Humber Bridge?
Is it the original 'Pooh Sticks' bridge?
I do have some doubt that it's a road bridge, but can't tell for sure one way or the other.
[Rosie] Highway code? YES
[KagomeShuko] A bridge too far? NO
[Bismarck] Bridge north? NO
[Simons Mith] AA Milne-ish? NO
Does it need constant repainting?
Has it been proposed to keep it from rust by boiling it in wine?
[Simons Mith] Forth bridge style? YES (don't they all?)
[Raak] Medoc rust preventer? Great idea but NO
The Clifton Suspension Bridge, proper like
[Rosie] IKB's masterpiece, m'luvvy? YES! I'd have thought you would have leapt on that straight away, mate.

(Hands over the SS Great Britain shaped baton.)

Grabs baton. Ouch, where are you supposed to hold it?

OK, this next one is nothing to do with Bristol, or Wales, or steam engines. It is

VEGETABLE with strong ABSTRACT connections.

Is the vegetable edible?
Is it a wood or forest?
A work of art?
Is it das erste Wiener Gemüseorchester?
Just a stab in the dark...
(R the G) Vegetable edible? Only by dogs. Short answer is NO.
(Boolbar) NOT a wood or forest.
Raak) NOT a work of art.
(SM) Das erste Wiener Gemüseorchester? Wooden a fought so. I'll check.
Arabidopsis thaliana?
(Raak) Arabidopsis thaliana? Having Googled it, I can say with the greatest of confidence that the answer is NO.
Dogs'll eat almost anything, but it's hard to find something vegetable that only dogs will eat. Is the thing commonly found in a house??
(SM) Commonly found in a house? Probably NOT these days. Probably edible by other animals, e.g. rats, but a dog is the most likely.
A stick, like you might throw for a dog?
Is the vegetable manufactured/processed in some way?
Marmite?
Is the vegetable part wooden?
(R the G) A stick? NO.
(SM) Manufactured or processed? YES.
(Softers) Lovely stuff? NO, alas.
(Boolbar) Wooden? NO.
Is it a fabric?
Is it unique?
(SM) A fabric? NO.
(Tuj) Unique? NO.
A bird's nest?
(Software) A bird's nest? NO.
Is it a fruit?
(Superman) A fruit? NO.
A member of the Poaceae family?
Is the abstract part a saying?
Rubber wellies?
Eminently chewable for the canis familiaris and rattus norvegicus crowds.
(Boolbar) Grassed up? NO.
(Raak) A saying? NO.
(SM) Nice try but still v. cold. So NO.
Is this something used for heating or lighting?
(Boolbar) For heating or lighting? NO.
Is the abstract part a measurement or quantity?
Can it be bought derp-frozen?
Deep-frozen of course.
(Simons Mith) It could certainly be regarded as that, so YES. *audience animation, previously absent*
(Bismarck) Deep or derp frozen. NEITHER, I'm afraid.
Is the abstract part included or acknowledged in the thing's name?
Is tobacco involved?
(Simons Mith) Abstract nature acknowledged in name? YES. *even greater animation from the audience*
(Raak) Nicotinic involvement? NO. I dunno, just 'cos I like the fags.
A grandfather clock?
Some sort of floor or wall covering?
(SM) Grandfather clock? NO.
(Boolbar) Floor or wall covering? NO.
A tape meaure?
A bean feast?
(SM) A tape measure? Well, rather better than that, but NO. *audience murmurings*
(Software) Accountant's holiday? NO, not a bean feast.
Is it some type of aide-memoire?
(Boolbar) An aide-memoire? NOT really. Maybe just an aide.
For measuring distance?
(SM) Measuring distance? NO.
A yard broom?
(Softers) A yard broom? NO.
For measuring fluids?
An item of furniture?
(SM) NOT for measuring fluids.
(Superman) Furniture? NO, except possibly as a word joke.
A country mile?
(Softers) A country mile? I'm afraid your attempt is wide of the mark by precisely that amount.
The Radio Times?
(SM) NOT the Radio Times. Maybe something less engaging.
Old Moore's Almanac?
(SM) Old Moore's Almanac? NO. Even less readable than that.
Is this a book containing information?
The Phone Book?
(Boolbar) Contains information? YES. *audience erupts*
(Simons Mith) The Phone Book? NO, but in a way that sort of thing.
A quipu?
(Raak) NOT a Quipu but you're on the right road.
An LP?
(Superman) An LP? NO.
An atlas?
A bookmark?
(SM) An atlas? NO
(Softers) A bookmark? NO.

A recap - this is a book, uninspiring and of little use these days.

Originally published in England?
(Raak) Originally published in England? YES, probably. Sources are not quite clear on this.
Logarithmic tables?
(revealing my age)
Old Moores Almanac?
CdM has it! It's Log Tables. Well done - a tricky one. Take this 'ere mantissa and proceed to the next one.
(Softers) Sorry, NO.
Lurker's Victory; sorry. On the brighter side, at least I noticed I won. I think the last time I won a round I completely forgot to check back for several days.

ABSTRACT
Cognitive ability?
Being sorry?
Cognitive ability? I think not.
Being sorry? Regretfully, no.
Time?
Time? No. *some applause from the audience*
Is this essentially a human experience?
Oh, the humanity!
Essentially human? No
(I should perhaps note that I can certainly come up with animal (including human), vegetable, and probably even mineral connections, but I don't think that information is helpful.)
Growth?
Physical law?
Growth? *rapturous applause* Growth is one of the words on the card.
Physical law? No (though not entirely unconnected).
Exponential growth?
Well that was quick
Exponential growth is the answer. It seemed to follow naturally from Rosie’s log tables. Have this baton. It’s 10% longer than it was yesterday, and 33.1% longer than it was on Friday.
A fresh slate
OK, let's try a clean break for the next one.

This is Animal

Is it human?
N- YES. I was initially going to give a firm no, but then I thought about it some more. YES.
Is there more than one of it at any one time?
Jesus?
[Raak] Not Jesus
[Bismarck] No, they're pretty singular.
Prehistoric?
[Raak] No.
A single living human being?
[CdM] Curiously, given my answer to Bismarck, no.
Can I go and see one of these beings (or their remains) on display in a museum?
[Boolbar] Turns out, yes.
A hunter?
[Software] No.
A waxwork?
A mummified corpse?
An idol?
Part of a human?
[waxworks] No.
[mummy] No.
[idol] No.
[part of a human] ... For consistency with my previous answer, yes. I might owe you a hint, this answer is a bit misleading either way.
Sedlec Ossuary?
Fictional?
[Ossuarial] No. That is such a cool place tho'
[Fictional] Yes.
A monster?
[monster] Yes.
A cyborg?
Several good guesses in a row
[cyborg] No.
Frankenstein's monster?
[Frankenstein's monster] No.
Dominic Cummings?
Samson?
A half-human hybrid?
[Cummings] Ugh. No.
[Samson] No.
[Hybrid] No. No breeding involved.
The Incredible Hulk?
[HULK] NO. MADDER AND MUCH HAIRIER
King Kong?
A were-being?
[King] No.
[were] No. Not when or why, either, BTW.
Incidentally, I'd peg the audience as alert and poised to applaud, but you're not close enough for a clap just yet.
The Abominable Snowman?
Not many fictional humanoid monsters occur to me that one can see in a museum.
[Abonimable anobinamal snow dude] No.
The existence of the museum was a surprise to me too.
Bigfoot?
[Bigfoot] No. In fact, their feet are rarely seen at all,
Is this fictional thing originally from a book?
[Bookish] No.
From a movie?
[Movies] No, not originally.
The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal?
[Bugblatters] No, less hungry.
The Slightly Peckish Bugblatter Beast of Traal?
Do accounts of this go back to before the 19th century?
[Peckish] Yes, I think 'peckish' pitches things about right.
[19th Century] No, they're a go-getting modern monster, all ready to face the challenges of the new millennium.
Are these from a children's TV show?
[Children's show] YES. [Claps and cheers from the audience]
Cookie Monster?
[COOKIES!] No. Getting close, but no. [More claps BTW]
Is there a Humphrey about?
Always imagined them as hairy beasties, but since they were never seen IIRC, who knows.
[Humphreys] No, they were red and white stripey drinking straws, and they were seen, certainly in the TV ads.
A cross-eyed tomato on a spring?
[Tomato] No, not Zebedee.
The Honey Monster?
A Disney character?
[Honey Monster] No.
[Disney] Yes, of course Disney would have bought them out...
The Swedish Chef?
I'm sticking with the Muppets until further notice.
[Bork? Bork!] No. [Nevertheless, applause returns in force]
Is it a Muppet?
[Muppet] YES. [Applause continues]
Oscar the Grouch?
(If that's not right we may need to start asking more general questions again. Turns out there are a lot of Muppets. Wikipedia even makes what is apparently a key distinction between Muppet Show Muppets and Sesame Street Muppets.)
Is it a Muppet in the shape of a recognizable animal?
[Oscar] No.
[Recognisable] Teetering on a one-word giveaway here. I'll say no, but I wanted to say yes.
Animal?
I hope not... stalking is so unbecoming.
A winner!
[Animal] Sorry rab - be ready for disappointment. YES, it's Animal. Here's a drum-stick shaped baton for you. Don't mind the toothmarks.
Drat!
Sorry everyone.

This next one is Abstract

Is it the thought of going out for something non-essential?
[Boolbar] That drew a very sharp intake of breath from the audience.
Self-isolation?
Is it topical?
Self-isolation? No.

Topical? Current, yes; relating to a surface, no.

Hypochondria?
I told you I was ill? No.
Solitude?
Is it something experienced by a human?
Solitude? Not quite - and Raak was closer (and yet, at the same time, further away).

Human experience? Yes, albeit diminished.

A dream?
Dream? We might want it to be, but no.

audience - *looks distractedly at Raak*

Quarantine?
Quarantine? No, but in this neck of the woods.
The two meter gap?
R0?
Two metres? *audience bounces up and down, trying to avoid attracting the attention of the police*

R0? No

Not being quarantined?
Social distancing as a 21st century ontology?
[Raak] no (but yes)

[Bismarck] it says “social distancing” on the card so I think you can have that one.

Had to wait a couple of days for the disinfection process to work on the baton. Can't be too careful. But hooray!
This is MINERAL, though there is an ANIMAL connection (not the Muppet this time, though)
A processed material?
Is it made by animals - e.g. chalk, coral, concrete etc.?
Is it unique?
Who needs 20 questions?
[Rosie] Processed material? ... ... ... No. But sorta.
[Simons] YES, it is made by animals. The audience cheers, even those who were still out at the intermission and haven't found their seats yet.
[Tuj] NOT unique.
An excretory substance?
A fossil?
Dinosaur poo?
Dinosaur eggs?
Is this a result of animals dying?
Does it begin with P?
A shell?
Just back from the Easter break...
Right, to cut through all these very good suggestions, well done everyone! But Simons Mith wins the audience's chocolate bunny this round, it's a shell, NO to all the rest.
The card still has another word on it, and the question count is at 10.
Is it made by chickens?
Is it the shell of a sea dwelling creature?
Tortoiseshell?
Whispers in my shell-like
[Simons ] NO, no fowl play here.
[Boolbar] YES, there would be an audience sensation here but the Skype link went down.
[Raak ] NO, not even a mock turtle.
Question count up to 13.
Is it sold by the sea shore?
She shells she shells...
[Simons] YES, though in these gender-confused days I am unable to say by whom.
Cockles, winkles, mussels, and whelks?
Alive, alive-O
[Raak] NO, none of them, but you are very close. Try a few more.
Clam, crab or conch? Cowry? Barnacle?
Bit of a shotgun approach...
Oyster shells?
Like shooting shellfish in a bucket
[Simons] NO, your shotgun didn't hit the target.
[Raak] NO.
Limpet?
That's me done, otherwise.
Scallop shells?
Getting closer and still hanging in there
[Simons] NO, not a limpet.
[Raak] NO, not a scallop.
Very close. This is a common shell on most beaches. Question count up to 19.
Who needs 20 questions?
Come on you lot, you can do it!
Cuttlefish?
Bong!
[software] NO. (Do you get cuttlefish on the beaches near you?)
Lots
Oysters?
Lots of cuttlefish bones on our beaches.
Razor shells?
And the winner is...
I've never seen cuttlefish bones on beaches, if they're that common presumably I didn't know what I was looking at.
[Software] NO.
[Raak] YES, it's the razor shell. Take this baton covered in mother-of-pearl and go on to better things!
Neither ANIMAL, nor VEGETABLE, nor MINERAL, nor ABSTRACT
That's right, it's Covid-19!

Just thought I'd get that one out of the way.

MINERAL
And nothing to do with The Current Situation.
Metallic?
Terrestrial?
Oil-based?
[Rosie] Largely metallic.
[Simons] *ripple of amusement from the audience* Strictly speaking...yes, terrestrial.
[Projoy] Not oil-based.
Is it a long way from home?
A satellite?
[Simons] It's a long way from my home.
[Software] *applause!* Yes and no.
The moon?
Is it about car-sized?
The International Space Station?
[Bismarck] Not the moon.
[Simons] Not about car-sized.
[Rosie] Not the ISS.
Does it have harpoons?
[Simons] Yarr! Bain't be havin' no harpoons nohow, matey.
An artificial earth satellite?
[Rosie] Yes! An artificial earth satellite. Despite my yes and no answer earlier. When is a satellite not a satellite?
Part of a launch vehicle, like Apollo 11 second stage?
Is it 40+ years old?
[Bismarck] Not part of a launch vehicle.
[Simons] Not 40+ years old.
Made by SpaceX?
The Hubble Space Telescope?
Is its mission solar observation?
[Boolbar] Not made by SpaceX.
[Rosie] *applause!!* Not Hubble.
[Simons] Not for solar observation.
So, JWST I reckon
Yes, the James Webb Space Telescope, which will be a satellite when it's launched. Have this baton-shaped chocolate-covered sponge cake which philosophers can't prove isn't floating somewhere in the asteroid belt since last Tuesday.
Let's crack on with the next one then. Hmm. Perhaps I shall do an ABSTRACT.
A human characteristic?
[Human] Yeeah.
Has a monumental allegory to this item been constructed?
[Monument] No, I don't think so.
Hidden textIf there was, how big would you make it?
An emotion?
[Emotion] Nope.
A co-operative characteristic?
[Co-operative] No.
A mental function?
[Mental] Not really.
Is this a human only characteristic (or can other animals have it)?
[Uniquely hooman] Yes, human only. Too much of a stretch to attribute it to animals IMO.
Big-headedness?
[Big-headedness] No. A few claps though
Consciousness?
The wearing of clothes?
[Consciousness, Clothing] No and no.
To do with speech?
[speech] Yyyes. Usually requiring speech, at any rate.
Hubris?
[Hubris] Not really. A couple more claps, from different audience members to last time
A boast?
[Boast] ...No. Very strong applause though. Possibly even whoops.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect?
That's definitely the right answer, even if it isn't.
[Duning-Krooger] Nuh-uh. Most of the clapping stops. What remains is probably unreliable.
[Simons] You're just saying that because, unlike me, you're not smart enough to realise that it is in fact the right answer.
At least I can spell Dunig Kreuzfeldt.
Flyting?
[Flyting] No, nothing so new-fangled.
Does it require modern technology to work properly?
[modern tech] No.
Is it done for entertainment?
[entertainment] Not usually. While it can be done for comic effect, that's not its normal objective.
Swearing?
[Cuss words] No...
Exaggeration?
Radox wins!
Yes, 'Exaggeration' is the word on the card. Here, let me pass on to you this totally awesome baton of awesome awesomeness.
Unaccustomed as I am ..
Oooh, lovely! Awesome and then some.
Bear with me as the Laser Display Board is updated for the audience. For the contestants, the subject is Abstract.
(The physical object could be An, Veg, or Min, but I am looking for a property which is Abstract.)
Isolation?
Worth a pot, however unoriginal.
A lucky charm?
Ditto
[Rosie] NOT isolation.
[Tuj] NOT as such, though no doubt someone, somewhere, uses one as a lucky charm.
Any relevance to the current pandemic?
[Rosie] NO. Phew. Don't we all need a break?
A favourite thing?
A human construct?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] NOT a favourite thing.
[Tuj] YES. No animals, vegetables, or minerals can have thought of this.
[CdM] NO, though there is a P in it.
Is it something animals, plants and [mineral] computers can all do?
Is this related to a bodily junction?
Did this exist in Classical Rome and Greece?
[Simons Mith] NO, they cannot. The primary object can be made from something A, V or even M, but the property sought is not linked to the substance.
[Rosie] NO. Not linked to a bodily junction in any way I can think of.
[Raak] NO, it is more recent.
Is the object a household object?
Anything to do with food?
Is it to do with the shape of things?
Is it numerically quantifiable?
[I'm still pondering the lucky charm connection.]
Or does it have religious connections?
Hope I'm allowed two questions on the go at once
[Bismarck] YES, I have several in my home and I suspect most people have.
[Boolbar] NO, food has nothing to do with this.
[Raak] NO, as far as the objects go they are all rectangular.
[Simons Mith] YES, numbers come into it.
NO religious connections though, not even a chapel in Las Vegas.
Are the physical objects books?
[Raak] NO, not books. There was a stir in the audience, though.
Are the physical objects placemats?
[Simons Mith] NO, they aren't placemats.
Board games?
[Simons Mith] NO, not board games. Another stir in the audience.
The game of dominoes?
Crosswords?
[Simons Mith] NO, not dominoes. [Software] NO, not crosswords.
Card games?
[Simons Mith] NO, but the audience liked that one.
Jigsaws?
Will it help to know the name of the thing to which this property attaches?
Are the physical objects boxes, whether fancy or plain?
I'm fast running out of rectangular things...
Something to do with pictures, photos or paintings?
[Software] NO, not jigsaws.
[Bismarck] YES, in fact someone has already mentioned it, but not in the right context.
[Simons Mith] NO, not boxes.
[Boolbar] NO, only a link of extreme tenuousness can be drawn with your three P's.
Are the physical objects playing cards?
Maps?
[Bismarck] YES, it is playing cards. Audience sensation.
[Simons Mith] NO, not maps.
Tarot?
Abundance?
A house of cards?
[Raak] Not as such.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
A collectible card game?
An action or result of an action within a card game?
Trumps?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No. Some audience clapping.
[CdM] Yes!! Audience cheering, clapping etc.

CdM wins!
Please take this deck and deal the next round.

ABSTRACT with distinct Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections—by which I mean I am thinking of one particular connection of each type above all. To add to the confusion, the Mineral connection has its own Animal and Vegetable subconnections.
Something taxonomic?
A well known phrase or saying?
To do with the environment?
Classified information? No
Well known phrase or saying? No, but there is some immediate audience interest
Green? No?
A proverb?
Proverb? No. Audience interest wanes.
Some kind of official pronouncement?
Connected with food?
To do with current affairs?
Hear Ye! Hear Ye!? No
Foody? No.
Current affairs? Not at all.
Is it a song of some kind?
A scientific idea?
A game of some sort?
Fossils?
Song? No. Loud applause, some muttering, and also a little laughter.
Scientific idea? No.
Game? No.
Fossils? No. Curiously, there is a slight smattering of applause.
Applicable to the elderly?
Shuddup at the back
A museum?
To do with geology?
An orchestra?
Applicable to elderly? The least misleading answer is surely No. But there is a sense in which I could say Yes. The question just doesn't actually make much sense with respect to the AOTC.
A museum? No. Another smattering of applause.
Geological? No. The audience considers retracting its smattering response to the "Fossils" question on the grounds that it was probably unhelpful.
Orchestra? No. The audience considers smattering, then thinks better of it.
Is it to do with myth and legend?
Does it begin with P?
Is it just me who, when reading through this game, mentally hears the audience reactions (which sound a lot like an ISIHAC audience during Sound Charades)?
To do with sounds that people make?
Myth and legend? There is a connection. At the start I stated that the Mineral Connection to the AOTC has Animal and Vegetable subconnections; myth/legend are an Abstract subsubconnection of the Animal subconnection of the Mineral connection to the answer on the card, which is Abstract. I presume that clarifies matters. :)
Begins with P? No.
To do with sounds people make? It can, but need not, be connected to sounds that people make. (Also, sounds people make could be an Abstract subsubconnection of the Animal subconnection blahblahblah.)

(To the extent the last question was prompted by the one occasion of audience enthusiasm, that might indeed be a profitable line of enquiry. Or you might want to pursue one or more of the A,V,M connections.)
Is the particular animal connection you are thinking of, human?
Life?
The music of the spheres?
Animal connection human? Yes
Life? No.
Music of the spheres? No.
Would civilisation come into it?
Civilisation? I'm going to go with Yes. Some of these questions are so broad that they are hard to answer, but, I dunno, "Yes" just feels right in this case. That said, I'm not sure it's helpful.
Is it the game of rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock?
A wild guess.
A musical instrument?
Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock? Finally, a question I can answer easily. No.
Musical instrument? No, but musical instruments are a subconnection of the Mineral connection of the AOTC.
Communication?
Is the main mineral connection a metal?
Religious?
Is it something like a cyclopedia?
Communication? No.
Mineral = metal? No.
Religious? No, but there are certainly religious subconnections of the Mineral connection of the AOTC
Cyclopedic? No. Despite all of the various subconnections and subsubconnections, the AOTC is actually something quite specific.
Is it a team of superheroes? :-)
Are we looking for the title of a piece of fiction?
Superheroes? No.
Title of piece of fiction? The audience gasps and applauds loudly. No.
The title of some written work?
A collection?
Title of written work? Yes! Applause
Collection? No.
Is the word "Rock" on the card?
Is it a work about types of music?
Rocky? No.
About types of music? No, although types of music are referenced in the work.
A biography?
Biography? No.
Was this written before 1900?
Written prior to 1900? Yes.
Was it written in English?
Written in English? Yes.
Is the book about philosophy, natural or otherwise?
Is the book about history? Gibbons' Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire?
Is it by a single author?
Check your assumptions
Philosophical? The best answer is No, although there is a connection.
History? The best answer is No, although there is a connection.
Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire? No. (Some audience laughter.)
Single author? Yes.
Is is a single book?
Checking one assumption...
Single book? No.
Is it a periodical?
Is it the author's entire oeuvre?
Periodical? No.
Entoeuvre? No.
Is it poetry?
Is it the works of a particular composer?
Poetry? Yes. The audience puts down their phones and applauds.
Composer’s works? No.
Recap
So it's the title of a work of poetry written before 1900 (and possibly much older). It is not the author's entire work, but it is more than one book while not being a collection, and it doesn't begin with P. There are connections through the title to A, M, and V, as well as to legends in a way.
Virgil's Georgics?
"The Faerie Queene"?
Because I'm nice.
Bismarck's recap is mostly right. However, I did not say the AOTC was more than one book. I said it was not a single book. I'll also tell you for free that I was thinking of the main animal connection as being the author, and the main vegetable connection as paper. The mineral connection, which has not been explored, has—as already noted—Animal and Vegetable subconnections, and various subsubconnections.

Virgil? No.
Spenser? No.
Was the author English?
English author? Yes.
Is this work in a medium other than a book?
I think you’re overcomplicating things
Medium other than a book? No. I mean, like everything else, it now also exists on the internet, but otherwise you’d normally expect to find it in a book.
Later than Chaucer?
Post-Chaucer? Yes.
Victorian?
Kipling's Barrack-Room Ballads?
Victorian? No.
Kipling? No.
Shakespearean?
Shakespearean? No.
Was some at least of this poetry written before January 1, 1901?
Written before 1/1/1? Yes. (We already knew that.)
Written in the Georgian era?
This is a very boring way of getting to the answer. :)
Georgian? Yes.
By Alexander Pope?
Are any seabirds involved?
Trying to be less boring. :)
Popeish? No.
Seabirds? No. (Except perhaps implicitly and very tangentially. Which means you should forget I even mentioned it.)
Dryden?
Hymns Ancient and Modern?
By William Wordsworth?
Only marginally less boring :)
Dryden? No.
Hymns? No.
Wordsworth? No.
The mineral you talked about: we know it isn't a rock, but is it a jewel?
Mineral-ish
Could this be about SHELLey?
Rock? No.
Shelley, with or without the EY? No.
A poem about a historic event?
Poem about a historic event? (The audience applauds the question.) That's a bit tricky to answer, but at the risk of giving too much away, I'll do my best. The simple answer is No. Thinking about the AOTC in terms of a specific historic event is not in itself helpful.

That said, there is definitely a historical aspect both to the AOTC (more specifically the mineral subconnection) and to the various subsubconnections of the mineral subconnection. And it is also correct to say that those historical subsubconnections involve an event or events, broadly understood.
What is that alluring scent?
Could somebody been SLAVING over AN INGREDIENT FOR MAKING BREAD?
Er, what?
I don't understand the question, but it has nothing to do with the AOTC.
Longfellow?
Lurker's guess - Is the name Ozymandias, King of kings?
Longfellow? No.
Ozymandias? No. (Shelley has already been suggested and rejected. Also, I don't know what you mean by "the name"; there has been no mention of a name in this AVMA.)

I'm surprised this is proving so difficult. It's not that obscure. And you will get there eventually just by naming poets, but I'm not sure if it is the best route to the answer.
Is it based on an Arthurian legend?
Arthurian? No.
less vague . . .
Could we be singing about amber grains of WHEAT?
Wheat? Nope? And I still have no idea what you are referring to :)
Are they a poet laureate?
Poet Laureate? No.
A poem about a location or country?
About a location or country? No, but the audience wakes from their stupor and applauds, particularly when they hear the word "country".
National anthems?
Because I'm still nice
National anthems? No.
As a tidbit of extra information to add to my previous answer, there is a strong connection to a particular country (which is not England).
Anything to do with Scotland?
Scottish? No.
Is there a French connection?
French? No.
hmmm
Guess I need to Phyllis you in on this author . . .
Is there a Greek connection?
Greek connection? Yes! Prolonged relieved applause from the audience!!
The ancient Greeks?
Ancient Greeks? Yes.
Aristotle?
Popping in a bit late
Given that a Greek Ancient would not have penned his poetry in English I am forced to the conclusion that the AOTC must be one of the many translations of his works. I have no idea as to the name of any of those conversions but would suggest Homer as the poet.
Homer? No. It's already been ascertained that it was written in English in the Georgian era.
Sorry, I missed Raak's question. No obvious connection to Aristotle.
"On First Looking into Chapman's Homer"?
Chapman's Homer? No. The audience bursts into huge applause.
Chapman's Homer itself?
Chapman’s Homer? No. The applause peters out into a crestfallen silence.
Ode to a Grecian Urn?
Alexander Pope?
Ode to a Grecian Urn? No.

Rapturous applause is cut suddenly short by the judges' response. Audience members look at each other puzzled. Murmurings of discontent give rise to crescendoing boos from some, while others google frantically. Rotten fruit is hurled. The judges retreat, huddle briefly, and reverse their verdict.

Ode on a Grecian Urn? Yes.

The judges run away, leaving behind a baton inscribed with the words "Beauty is truth, truth beauty".
So I have won by getting it wrong? I'm not even a politician, so this is a surprise. And just where that leaves us on truth-beauty spectrum is anyone's guess.
Talking of "anyone's guess", would you care to hazard what might be this ANIMAL of which I am thinking?
Is it unique?
Is it mythical?
[CdM] The judges made the right call. Otherwise we'd have had to have worked our way through Ode by a Greek Urn, Ode Under a Greek Urn, Ode In a Greek Urn and so on.
[CdM] YES, there can be only one.

The judges want to award you the palm immediately out of sheer nervousness, but the audience want their money's worth. Pierluigi Collina is drafted in to restore order.

[Simons Mith] NO, its doings are well-documented with photographic evidence.

Are we talking about a human?
Is this to be found in Caledonia?
A current public figure?
Is it a tiger?
I love tigers :)
[Boolbar] YES, the animal is human.
[Dujon] NO, not in Scotland, certainly not during lockdown.
[Raak]
  • YES, the human concerned is alive;
  • DEPENDS what you mean by "public", the human has for instance been on the telly.

[Tuj] NO, not a tiger, however much we may be fans of them.
Are they connected with politics?
Aw phooey :P
Is this human defined, for the purposes of this game, by the role they occupy?
[Tuj] NO, there is no politics here. Thought that might make a nice change.
[CdM] NO, insofar as I understand the question: I am expecting the name and surname of the human concerned. If you use any middle names, you will win points, and we all know what that means.
Do any of their middle names begin with P?
Cries of "Prizes!"
Is this human a woman?
Do they have musical talents?
[CdM] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
[SimonsMith] IRRELEVANT, it's not for music that they are known.

Audienceometer: in repose.

Were they born before 1980?
[CdM] Delightful question.
An actor?
[Tuj] NO, which means this person is a lot younger than most of you.
[Boolbar] NO, although that may surprise some.

Audienceometer: Muttered off-topic conversations.

A sportsbeing?
Is this person currently to be found in England?
*putting on Mouse Ears*
Was this woman on a Disney show?
Are the initials of this person's middle names T E & E?
[SM] YES, this person is best known for sporting prowess.
[CdM] NO, and I'm pretty certain about this.
[KS]
  • a) NOT a woman as previously intimated
  • b) NO, no mice involved

[Duj] NO. Who on earth...

Audienceometer : Applause recorded for Simons Mith.

Is this young mouseless male abroad-from-an-English-perspective sportsbeing of European nationality?
Does he hit balls with a stick for a living?
I thought I broke something...
Does this sport use wheeled transport?
... Such as golf buggies?
[CdM] YES.
[Everyone else] NO.

Audienceometer : comatose.

*Interlude to sate Bismarck's curiosity*
Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman Thunberg. She is not a woman, she's girl. Nor is she a politician.
*End* Carry on.
Is this sportsbeing currently (or was he very recently) in either Germany or Portugal?
[CdM] NO, at least if this is a reference to the football. He may well have been there, though given COVID19 I suspect he hasn't travelled.

Audienceometer: Low buzz of conversation about Greta Thunberg, Tintin etc.

Is this person less than 20 years old?
Would he have been competing at the Olympics had they taken place this year?
[Boolbar] NO, he is older.
[Tuj] NO.

Audienceometer: dozing.

Is their sport an Olympic sport?
[Raak] YES. Hint - it has figured in almost all the Olympics.
Is the sport running?
[Raak] NO. However, to play it well, you need to be able to run. Hint: the sport does not fall under the IOC definition of athletics.
Is their sport a team sport?
[Boolbar] YES, it is a team sport.

Audienceometer: Applause.

Is it played indoors?
Does this non-rodentia male participate in a sport made up of sports?
Is the person concerned British?
[Superman] This sport, as with many team sports at the Olympics, has both forms. Thus one is outdoor, so a big hint and a big NO.
[KagomeShuko] NO, just the one discipline here.
[Radox The Green] NO.

Audienceometer: Small effervescence for Radox.

Are they a Commonwealth sportsperson?
Is this person Irish?
Is the sport football?
[Simons Mith] NO, not from the Commonwealth.
[Tuj] NI, not Irish.
[CdM] YES! I was wondering if all the Olympic stuff would have distracted everyone too much.

Audienceometer: Hoots, cheers and mostly unprintable chants break out for CdM.

Is this gentleman employed by a team in the English Premier League?
[Tuj] NO.
French?
Has this character ever played for a team in the English Premier League?
[Boolbar] NON. Although he can speak the language.
[Superman] YES, he has.
Audienceometer: Confrontation between supporters of different clubs being dealt with by security.
Did he pick up a French accent from having worked for a time for a French team?
Is this person currently playing at a professional level?
[Raak] Not because of that, NO.
[CdM] YES, he is still playing. Hint: Also at a well-known club.
Audienceometer: A compromise deal resulting in incessant chants of "'Ere we go, earwig O, 'ere we go" is reached.
Has he won the World Cup?
[Tuj] NO WC on the honours board, I'm afraid. The more I go through this, the more it seems like he isn't a very good player, whereas he is well regarded. Paradise awaits him, no doubt.
Is he Belgian?
[CdM] YES, he is Belgian.
Audienceometer : Cheers, whistles and general noise for CdM.
Has he been employed by a football club from Manchester in the past?
Eden Hazard?
(I’m so certain that that is the right answer, given all the clues, that I’m tempted to just get the next round underway immediately. But I’ll observe proper protocol.)
[Tuj] No. Fellaini, Lukaku, De Bruyne... not a bad guess.
[CdM] YES! Mr Eden Michael Hazard it is, who incidentally is the most famous person to come from the area I live in. His club Real Madrid didn't make the final this year, and he's a born French speaker, if that helps clear up any lingering doubts. Also nobody won the extra points for his middle name, so they get rolled over. Please accept this Belgian ale and this spherical baton to kick off the next round.
Audienceometer: Lots of Chelsea songs going on.
CdM hits the back of the net!
[Bism] I was trying to play it like 'Guess Who?', and narrow things down. But CdM was far ahead of me!
CdM rises majestically, like a salmon, and if it hadn't gone into the goal, it would have been close!
I have [Tuj] in front of the microphone... Congratulations for making a game of it. I thought your build-up strategy was well thought out. Would you care to comment on the yellow card?
Well, y'know Bismarck, I thought I stuck to my game plan well, made a few key narrowings down, but all credit to CdM, he just executed his skills better on the day, he deserved to get his hands on the baton.
Look, it was a team effort. All credit to the lads. Sometimes you just get a bit of luck on the day, but in the end I think we deserved the win. Now it's just all about the next round.
Hidden textRosie, as the Chelsea fan, missed his big moment here. Oh, and I certainly think he is a good player. I am still bitter about his impressive injury-time equaliser against my team in the season before last.
Which is ABSTRACT and ANIMAL, I guess. You could make an argument for either one, but it's really a bit of both.
Does it begin with P?
I don't think my dear old Ipswich Town have ever had a Belgian player :D
Human?
A real human being, who has taken on a symbolic significance?
A mammal?
Begins with P? No.
Human? Yes?
Real human being who has taken on a symbolic significance? (*smattering of applause*) Yes, a real human being, but not a particular real human being. The "symbolic significance" part is trickier. The significance of this not-particular but real human being is indeed being defined in a symbolic way.
Mammal? See "Human?", above.
Is the fact that this person is not a particular s/he because their identity is unknown?
Is their identity unknown? (*some applause and a little nervous laughter*) This person is not a particular s/he because there is more than one of this person. In some cases their identity is known; in other cases not—and this observation is germane to the AOTC.
Superheroes?
Superheroes? No. (Real human being, remember?) But heroes? Sometimes.
The head or leader of something?
Head or Leader? Almost certainly not.
Medical workers?
Secret agents?
Medical workers? No
Secret agents? No.
Is this concept linked to a particular political outlook?
The Unknown Soldier?
Linked to particular political outlook. In principle and in general, No. But there certainly is a political link in some instances, and it's probably fair to associate those instances with (broadly speaking) a particular political outlook.
Unknown soldier? No. The fact that the identity of these individuals is sometimes known, sometimes not is perhaps an interesting feature of the AOTC, but it is not central.
Is the AOTC associated with a particular country?
The Tzadikim Nistarim?
is the concept linked to an ethnic group?
Associated with particular country? No.
Tzadikim Nistarim? (
Hidden text*googles surreptitiously*
) No.
Linked to ethnic group? No.
Trade or profession?
Trade or profession? No. That said, these people are defined (for the purpose of the AOTC) in terms of something that they do.
Do they do this role in the interests of someone else?
In the interests of someone else? Yes (*substantial applause*)
Is there a medical connection?
Do they rescue people?
Medical connection? No.
Rescuers? No.
Civil servants?
To do with organised charities?
Members of an exclusive (or secret) club?
Civil servants? No.
To do with charities? No.
Members of exclusive/secret club? No.
(To be clear, these people could be any of these things, but they are essentially irrelevant to the AOTC.)
Blood donors?
Blood donors? No.
Do musical instruments enter into this?
Anything to do with transport?
Musical instruments? (*after a moment, laughter followed by some applause*) In one very precise sense, the answer is Yes. At the same time I worry that this answer might be misleading. If you pursue this route, pay attention to your assumptions. :)
To do with transport? No.
Are these multiple s/hes akin to inventors/ideas/philosophers ... ad infinitum ... who loose the reins for others to take.
Do these people know that they are defined as the AOTC?
Did these people exist 200 years ago?
Whistle blowers?
Well, that took a turn
Philosophers or something? No.
Do they know they are so defined? Usually yes.
Did they exist 200 years ago? Presumably yes, but back then they weren't actually known as...
Whistleblowers? Yes! One flute-like baton handed back to Bismarck.
Winner's comments
Didn't manage to get it inside 20 goes, but your clues did help. The baton-flute is really something, I can get a tune out of it but it seems only to attract rats. Lots of them, too.
Right, let's try for ANIMAL again. Off you go, put the thinking caps on and try to imagine what this could be!
Old Yeller?
Mammal?
Human?
Hamster?
[Bism] Oh, shot, very well done!
John Lennon?
John Lennon?
(was of course what I meant to say)
Hidden textThe whoops! function doesn’t seem to be working for me; is anyone else having a problem with it? I’ve tried to use it on my last two posts and it didn’t work either time.
[Simons Mith] - I'm sure they might yell, and many may be old. But it isn't the dog.
[Boolbar] - I am regretting picking this topic because it's going to make these normal types of questions quite difficult to answer. But I am not going to change horses in the middle of a stream. So let me clarify: I am looking for a class or type of animal, and not a specific one. If that adds a dose of ABSTRACT, so be it.
YES, some are mammals. NO, the others aren't.
[Raak] - NOT human.
[Tuj] - Ah, at last an easy one. NOT a hamster.
Hidden textThanks. Paul Mariner would have been proud of that.

[CdM] - NO, though I can see your thinking .
Audienceometer: Chuntering and shuffling of chairs.
Mascots?
Extant?
Are they limited to z certain geographic area?
And, if so, is zee certain geographic area France?
[Simons Mith] - Mascots? NO.
[Raak] - Extant? Excellent question which will probably make this a short game. NO, based on lack of proof.
[Superman] certain geographic area? NO.
[CdM] - France? NO.
Audienceometer : Applause for Raak, followed by an outbreak of arguments.
Cryptids?
probably stealing Raak's thunder

PS, also testing Whoops! facility, and it does seem to work, although from the message I first got I thought it was failing. Perhaps the Preview interaction is different now? But anyway, I've now done multiple whoopses and they've all worked.

Aliens?
[Raak] Could well be, could well be, but that isn't the AOTC.
[Simons Mith] YES, cryptids it is. No doubt a Mith is an expert and I should have seen that coming.Take this rather oddly creepy baton and don't look behind you - just run.
Audienceometer : Massive applause and some unearthly noises at the back, causing a rush for the exits.
VEGETABLE
I should say, historically these have been vegetable. Nowadays mineral ones are also prevalent.
Are the mineral ones fossils?
[Fossils] Nuh uh.
Historically made of paper?
[Historically paper?] Nope.
Is it an item of clothing?
[clothing] Nay.
Means of recording things, like books?
[Means of recording] No again.
Are the mineral ones plastic?
A toy?
Begins with P?
[mineral=plastic] Possibly. I don't know for certain, having never encountered plastic instances, but I would assume so. So a provisional Yes.

[Toy] No.

[p] No.

Specific to certain cultures?
[culture-specific] No.
Is it a fruit?
[Fruity] Negative.
Is it historically made from a tree by-product?
[Treey] Yes.
Is there one in your house?
As usual, probably on the wrong side of the useful/fun line
[Housey] No.
Would you find it in a tree?
[Found in a tree?] Nay.
Can you buy one in a shop?
[Shoppable] Yes.
Is it portable?
[Portable] Yes
Is it smaller than a tennis ball?
[<Tennis ball?] No.
Do IKEA make a self-assembly version?
[Self assembly] No.
Is it solely decorative?
[decorative] No.
Is it designed to be sat upon?
[Sittable] No, very much not.
Is there a spoon?
[spoonfulness] Alas, no.
Is it designed to be held in one hand?
An item of furniture?
Is it found in a school?
Not in a house, not in a tree, Hey Simons, just let it be!
[single-handed] Yes!

[furniture] no.

[skool] yes.

[KagomeShuko] :-) we should have a rhyming game of this. As if the normal version wasn't hard enough.

Is the vegetable part wood?
[wood] Yes, it wood have been.
Is it used for art?
Is it used to measure things?
[Art] no.

[Metrics] Nuh uh.

Does music come into it?
I am a bit stuck on the idea of a wooden hand-held instrument used in schools for which no plastic version has ever been seen by Simons Mith. So I am asking this question because it worked last time...
Does music come out of it?
Could it typically be maneuvered through a 5cm diameter circular hole?
[music I/O] No, either way.

[5cm hole] Yes!

BTW, I did check on Amazon, didn't find any wooden ones at all any more, didn't spot any hard plastic, but I did spot some foam ones for sale. Hadn't thought of foam. Other than that the rest were all metal.
A broomstick handle?
Is it a piece of sports equipment?
[broomstick handle] No, and expunge any thoughts about Quidditch. :-)

[sports] Yes! Audience applause

A golf club?
Is it used in an Olympic sport?
So it is bigger than a tennis ball, which is 6.7cm in diameter, but can be manoeuvred through a 5cm diameter hole.
A javelin?
[CdM] I assume long'n'thin fits both.
[Golf club] No

[Olympic] Yes

[Javelin] No. Granted, they used to be wooden and are now metal, but y'can't get foam ones.

An arrow?
Hockey stick?
Is it essential for playing the sport in question?
[B] I dunno. I don't think it's obvious that a long thin thing is bigger than a spherical thing (where "long" means greater than the diameter of the sphere and "thin" means smaller than the diameter of the sphere).
[Arrow] No

[Hockey Stick] No

[Essential] After quite a lot of thought, No. It's quite important, but not as essential as, say, the ball in football.

Is it protective equipment?
[Protective] No.
Used in a team sport?
[Team] Yup.
Is it used to hit something with?
[Percussive] No.
Is it used to make a mark on something?
[Mark-making] Nope.
Is it used to poke something?
I'm feel there's a Dr. Seuss poem in here somewhere.
Does it hit things?
Does it mark things?
Does it push and poke and prod things?
No, this object does not hit.
Neither does this object mark
Does it push or poke or prod?
Sadly none of those three gets a nod.
Ski pole?
Hidden textBool's question wasn't 'uniquely used in a team sport?'
[ski pole] No.

[uniquely used] I'm not 100% sure what you mean, but the AOTC is not used in any non-team variant of the sport(s).

A cricket stump?
[Stumped] No.
Is it at least as flexible as a rope?
[Flexibility] No, it's rigid.
Can I buy something with the same name in a bakery?
Trying not to take over due to busyness.
[Bread] Yes. I hadn't thought of that foody crossover.
Is "stick" one of the words on the card?
Do you want to rethink your answer to Tuj's question about "is it designed to be held in one hand?" ?
Also avoiding taking over. :)
[sticky] No. Actually I had only put one word on the card, but you're narrowing in on the sporting variant.

[rethinking] No. The circumstances under which two hands are used are a giveaway.

And now you're all just toying with me, I think.

OK then. Is it, perchance, a Relay Handover Cylinder?
[Baton] Yes, it is.

Flouting COVID restrictions, the audience claps one-handed with their neighbours.

It's all yours, CdM, although I'm afraid I haven't got a symbolic object to hand over. Some bugger ran off with it.

All right. This is, depending on how you think of it, either ABSTRACT, or MINERAL and VEGETABLE with important ANIMAL connections.
The world?
The world? No.
Is the MV+A a physical representation of the abstract thing?
Physical representation? I think "physical incarnation" might be a better phrase. In the M&V sense, the AOTC is very definitely real. Indeed, perhaps it is a mistake to call it Abstract; I think what I really mean is that the AOTC is a human construct.
A crucifix?
Is this a universal concept?
Crucifix? No.
Universal concept? No on both counts. It's not a concept, and it's quite specific.
Is the Animal part one animal or many?
How many animals? Many.
Is it a cycle/circle/feedback loop of some kind?
The Terracotta Army?
Feedback loop? No, much more concrete than that.
Terracotta Army? No (much less interesting than that). :)
A dolls house?
A city?
They're quite concrete. Regrettably.
A motorway?
Is there a single person in charge of this thing?
Doll house? No.
City? Yes! *sustained applause*
Motorway? No.
Single person in charge? Well, it's a city. Do cities have a single person in charge of them? Depends on how you interpret "in charge", I suppose. Wikipedia does inform me that the person nominally in charge of this particular city holds an "uncommon office".
It USED to be boring before the water crisis . . .
Is it Flint, Michigan?
[KS] Flint? No. (I'm not saying this is an uninteresting city; I'd hate you to take offence.)
If you're tired of this particular city, does that suggest you're tired of life?
Oh, say can you say?
Does this city's spelling actually look like how the name of the city is pronounced.

Cdm - It's a joke in the U.S. which isn't really true any more and I'm not sure when it changed - but at one point, Flint, MI was considered extremely boring - peole would say things like they drove through Flint, MI and saw a rock and a flower, nothing else.
Tired of Life? Again without wishing to insult KS, were that true I suspect it would have a rather high suicide rate.
Spelt as it sounds? I'd say yes.
Hidden text [KS] I lived five years of my life less than 50 miles from Flint; I am well aware of its reputation. :)
Has this city been the subject of a popular song?
Popular song? Yes -- perhaps several (although that might depend on how strictly I'm supposed to interpret the word "subject"). Googling tells me there are at least half a dozen songs with the name of this city in their titles, and many many more that include the name in the lyrics. Most of these songs I had never heard of, but some undoubtedly qualify as popular songs.
Is this city in the Eurozone?
Is it in Asia?
In the Eurozone? No.
In Asia? No.
[KS] I've only just realised that when I wrote (in reply to your question re Flint) "I'm not saying this is an uninteresting city; I'd hate you to take offence", you quite reasonably understood "this" to mean Flint. I was actually speaking not about Flint, but the AOTC.
Begins with P?
P-initial? Sorry, no.
Noo Yoik?
South American?
New York? No.
South American? No. (*some whispering and a little laughter from the audience*)
Does this city exist today?
On the continent of North America?
Currently in existence? Yes.
North American? Yes.
St Louis?
Come on, you blues.
St Louis? No.
(Speaking of the Blues, Rosie, you missed your chance a few weeks ago when the AOTC, set by Bismarck, was a certain Mr Eden Hazard.)
Chicago?
Does this city have a name derived from Spanish?
(CdM) I've no time for Hazard - he's a deserter.
Is it South of the 40th parallel north?
Chicago? No.
Derived from Spanish? No.
South of 40? Yes.
Is it named after a person?
While I'm at it, is it the state capital of North Dakota?
Named after a person? No.
Bismarck? No. ( 46°48′30″N > 40°00′00″N)
Is it on an island?
On an island? No.
On a river?
On a river? Yes. (*applause*)
Does it host a team in one of the US' Big 4 sporting leagues (NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL)?
ABBFHLLLMNNN (not necessarily in that order)? No.
Is it innnnnnn Texas?
(and do hint if there's a more interesting way we could be hunting it!)
Is it on Route 66?
In Texas? No.
On Route 66? No.
I'm not sure what to offer in the way of hints beyond saying that there is a reason I chose this particular city; it is not just some random city in the US.
Is its name the same as that of a British city?
Philadelphia?
r/ Philadelphia / Savannah
My bad, it seems that Philadelphia does possess a sporting team.
Brit name? No. (*some audience laughter*)
Savannah? No.
Hidden textI believe that Philly is actually one of the few cities with a team in all four of the leagues Tuj mentioned. :)
Is it in a state whose name begins with a vowel?
In the title of quite a few songs, hmm.
Is it named after a geographical feature?
Initially stately vowelly? No.
Hidden textThe song route may or may not be helpful. I had heard of maybe one of the songs with the city in its title (and I had not heard of the song that is in fact most famous). The AOTC-related song that I know best names the city in its first line, but not in the title.

Named after geographical feature? I think the best answer is Yes, though I am using a broad definition of “geographical feature”. (It’s not as obviously a g.f. as, say, Little Rock, if that’s what you were thinking of.)
New Orleans.
New Orleans? No. (*Applause, and also some muttered and inconclusive discussion about whether New Orleans had already been ruled out by Radox's island question*)
The old one . . .
Is it in New Mexico?
New Mexico? No. (*a little audience laughter, not so much for the question as for the questioner*)
Hidden text[KS] Entirely friendly laughter, I promise. :)
If a wall were built between the US and Mexico, would this city be on the side closer to Canada?
It wouldn't happen to be Lake Charles, would it? The city, I mean, not the AOTC.
Closer to Canada? Yes.
Lake Charles? No. (*more applause*)
Recap
City in the US lower 48, on a river but not on an island, south of 40°N, not in a state starting with a vowel nor in New Mexico nor in Texas, does not begin with 'P', is not named after a person nor in Spanish nor a version of an existing British town, but the name is vaguely geographical and there are songs about it. It also possesses no team in any major US league of sporting mayhem, but has a specific reason for CdM to pick it.
Is it in a state that belonged to the Confederacy?
Does its name consist of two words?
[Bismarck] Excellent summary. :)
In the Confederacy? Yes.
Two-word name? Yes. (*applause*)
Is it the capital of the state?
Baton Rouge?
Don't really want it to be.
Oak Ridge?
[Software] Can't see what is the geographical idea of a red stick...
Feeling near as faded as my jeans
It is indeed the state capital of Louisiana, on the Mississippi, Baton Rouge, so whether he likes it or not, Software now has a new shiny crimson baton to replace the one that somebody apparently ran off with at the end of the last round. Garth Brooks' recording of Callin' Baton Rouge apparently reached number two on the US country charts, and there is also a Lou Reed song with the title Baton Rouge. And then, of course, there's Me and Bobby McGee, which Janis Joplin took to number one.

As for the geographical connection, I did try to give a highly qualified answer. The red stick that Baton Rouge is named after was a boundary marker, and boundaries—even those that don't follow features of physical geography—do fall into the category of "abstract geographical features". But maybe I pushed the definition a little too far, and if so I apologise. :)
Oh right, I see... also I looked it up and the mayor has a sonorous title, as you said right at the beginning.
Oh, bugger, now I'll have to think.
OK, here goes: VEGETABLE and MINERAL with possible ABSTRACT connotations.
Lord Byron's Bicycle?
Bravo to the setter and the guesser, lovely.
Vegetable wood?
Are the vegetable and mineral parts separate?
A work of art?
Does it begin with P?
Anything to do with batons?
Does it have gigantic silver wings that appear avove my head?
Too silly tired for serious questions
Is it anything to do with software?
Is the mineral metal?
Is it, perhaps, people looking at computer screens awaiting answers?
Tuj - NO
Rosie: wood? - Possibly
RTG: separate - YES
Raak: is it art? - Possibly
CdM: P? - YES!
Bool: baton? - NO
Bismark: software (are you addresing me?) - Not as far as I'm aware
SM: metal? mmmm! - Sometimes
Duj: Sorry for the delay, everyone
Is it a plastic replica of the Winged Victory of Samothrace?
(On a plinth?)
A statue?
Bigger than a toaster?
Anything to do with the sea?
Anything to do with food?
SM: Plastic thingy? - NO, not even on a plinth
Raak: Statue? - NO
CdM: Toaster benchmark? - Well, sometimes much larger
Bismarck: Maritime? - NO
Bool: Grub? - Well, again, possibly.
Is there only ever one of it at a time?
Is it vegetibles cooking in a metal pot?
Mmmm . . . aroma.
Agriculture?
Tuj: Unique? - NO
KS: Cookery? - NO
Super: Farming? - In a way, YES
A garden in a bottle?
Weather related?
A bottle in a garden?
Bonsai?
A park?
Is it a pub name?
Is it perhaps?
Does it involve a tractor?
Does it have a use for the general public?
A pumpkin patch?
Sorry for the delay
CdM: Boozy agriculture? - NO *some clapping from audience*
SM: Japanese effect? - NO *more clapping*
Superman: A park? - NO
Tuj: A Pub - NO (not in itself, although I have in fact seen a pub with this name)
Bismarck: Far to cryptic for me
KS: - mechanized? - NO
RTG: Social amenity? er.. Not exactly, on balance - NO
CdM: Halloween orientation? - NO.
Does a type of tree come into it?
Is it a seasonal event? Picking something, for example?
Is it a man-made structure?
Weather related? (Said slightly louder this time.)
Superman: arborial? not specifically - NO *smattering of excitement in audience*
Simons: Seasonal? - NO
Chalky [nice to see you :) ] : Man made? - YES - in part *a few claps*
Bool: come rain, come shine? - NO appologies for the oversight
Pot plants?
SM: Pot Plants? Oh, YES, indeed, the AOTC was "A Pot Plant" but that'll do.

* hands over the Maws indoor watering can *

A random whim has just struck me. Let's go for... MINERAL. I'm not going to worry about the connections. Let's just keep it simple.
Does it consist of one element only?
Monoelemental
No.
Is there just one of it?
Is it on or part of planet Earth?
But is it art?
An artefact?
[Singular] Yes.
[Earthly] No.
[Art] No.
[Artefact] No.
The ISS?
Has it been on or part of Earth in the past?
Within the Solar System?
[ISS] No.
[Earthly, in the past] No.
[Solar System] ...No.
The Big Bang?
[The Big Bang? Mineral?] No. I think I'd class the Big Bang as abstract, personally.
A particular galaxy?
An exoplanet?
A particular type of star?
Clarification
Just in case, I will clarify that I said no to Rosie's 'artefact' query because I took 'artefact' to mean a /historical/ object.

[galaxy] No.
[eoplanet] No.
[star] No.

Dark matter?
A Black Hole?
A named constellation?
Has it only figured in a fictional work?
[Dark Matter] No
[Black Hole] No
[Constellation] No
[Fictional] YES
Science fiction?
[SF] YES
Does it appear in the works of Iain M. Banks?
Did it first appear in print?
The monolith in 2001 a space Odyssey?
The spaceship Enterprise?
[Banks] Y-

Oh wait. Superman has employed his X-ray vision and jumped straight to the answer. Probably in a single bound. It was the Enterprise.

Turns out, this is a repeat, but from a very long time ago. I suppose I could have picked something a little trickier, like the Heart of Gold or the Liberator.

Let me just polish up this Infiniite Improbability Baton, and hand it over before it turns into a sperm whale or something.
Oh, a bowl of petunias...
It seemed only logical. So on with the next game.
The laser display is being wiped as we speak, and the subject is ABSTRACT. Here is the mystery voice for those at home (apologies for the absence of subtitles):
Is it related to sound?
A still life painting?
An imaginary baton?
A novel?
Something mathematical?
Lust?
[Tuj] - No, unless you speak it out loud.
[Dujon] - No.
[Boolbar] - No.
[Software] - No, although the expression has been used in the titles of novels.
[SimonsMith] - No.
[Rosie] - No, although if you do something about it, a vague link may appear.
Does it begin with P?
Post-coital tristesse?
Does the AOTC contain the word "birth"?
A well known phrase or saying?
Is there more than one word in the AOTC?
Improbability?
Connected to emotions?
Is it a human construct?
Old Times?
The existence of Superman?
[Tuj] No. One does make an appearance.
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] No.
[Softers] No.
[Bism] No. Some desultory applause.
[Radox] No. Some more desultory applause.
[Simons] On balance, no.
[CdM] No, though philosophers may demur.
[Chalky] No.
[Rosie #2] No.
A scientific concept?
[Raak] No.
Is mathematics involved?
Medical?
Luck-related - e.g. gambling?
Some sort of pseudo science?
[Raak] No.
[Chalky] No.
[Simons] No.
[Software] No.
That all denied, it is possible to relate all of the propositions made to the word, as in a medical AOTC, etc. But I still hold to NO.
An emergency?
The cold?
A compilation?
Is it to do with politics?
Anticipation?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons] No.
[Radox] Well now, not as I imagined it, but while checking I found several countries have a ministry for it.
[Chalky] No.
To do with food?
Silly Walks?
Religion?
Is the AOTC hyphenated?
[Bism] No.
[Raak] Hopefully no country has that ministry. No.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons] No.
A sensation?
'Development'?
A Surprise?
Privacy?
[Raak] No.
[Simons] The Zoom audience suddenly wake up and applaud. No.
[Chalky] isn’t everything? Some more Zooming.
[Bism] No.
Unexpected?
Productivity/Production?
Competition?
That's got a 'p' in it
[Chalky] vide supra, "surprise"
[Simons 1] Audience posts a couple of comments. No.
[Simons 2] Audience definitely all awake, in so far as sixty-one thumbnails are in any way visible on Zoom. No.
Related to economics?
Pertaining to LMIC?
Imports / Exports ?
[CdM] Yes, definitely.
[Chalky] No. Not specifically
[Simons] Could well be.
Zoom getting quite animated, though I really don’t want to know what three up and eight across is doing.
Transport?
The bank rate?
Income tax?
Money?
Getting close?
[Simons] No.
[Software] No.
[Rosie] No.

Audience all seem to have switched off their microphones again.
It's related to economics, but it's not economics, it's like development but it isn't development. There is one word and one 'p' in the word and you find government departments named after it. The rest can be summed up as "No."
Whoops. [Raak] No.
Sport?
Oops
*hurriedly turns off video*
Monopolies?
Anything to do with festivities?
Corporations? Companies?
[Raak] No.
[Simons] No, though thay may fall under the responsibility of the said department.
[Radox] No.
[Simons] Very much to do with such things, but a more general term is needed. No.
The economy?
Employment?
Unemployment?
[Raak] No.
[Simons] No.
[CdM] No.
All worthy guesses but all circling round the plug hole. A little more ...oomph... is needed. The Zoom-ers are practising singing in chorus, the effect is terrible.
The National Debt?
Enterprise?
I'm scraping the government department-speak barrel so hard I'm getting splinters. There's got to be something else in here
[Raak] No.
[Simons] Yes! It is! You are! Correct! Take this faintly glowing baton into the new year with a beaming smile on your face! And don't forget to leave some deathless words in conclusion for the Zoom.
VEGETABLE
'nother vegetable one.

[Deathless words for Zoom: arpeggio, manganese, pantaloon and clamp.]

Is it unique?
Is it edible?
Is it a vegetable?
Wooden?
Pomegranate?
Beginning with "P"?
Fictional?
Is it larger than a toaster?
[Unique] In the sense I intended, yes
[Edible] No
[A vegetable] No
[Wooden] No
[Pomegranate] Nuh uh
[Pegetable] No
[Fictional] Ironically, no.
[>Toaster] No.
Poisonous?
Is it in a museum?
Does it belong to one particular person?
Is it like coffee a substrate for a drinkable decoction?
Is it a fruit?
Is it a plant?
[Poisonous] No
[Museum] No
[Single owner] No
[Drinkable substrate] No
[Fruity] No
[Planty] No
Is it currently alive?
Is it in Europe?
Is it art?
Parasitic?
[alive] No
[In Europe] Yes
[art] No
[parasitic] No
This game is a lot harder if you're strict about your Yes/Nos.
Is it a fungus?
Coal?
A small dead european thing?
Did this exist in the year 1900?
Brussels sprout?
A punt from just outside my own penalty-area.
Is it green in colour?
Does it have writing on it?
[fungoid] No
[coal] No
[S.D.E.T.] No
[1900] No
[Sprout] No
[Green] No
[Writing] Yes
Are the words a work of fiction?
Is it a physical copy of a book?
Does it belong to you?
An inscription ... on to parchment of some sort?
Written by one specific person?
I've never felt so useful! That'll wear off.
Phew, suddenly homing in from miles away
[fiction] yes
[physical] yes
[mine] no
[inscription] no
[one author] yes
1984?
Is it in on public display?
Written last century?
Does it have pictures?
[1984] No
[Display] No
[20C] Yes
[Pictures] No
Is the following a correct (not necessarily exhaustive) summary of what we have learned? We are seeking to identify a single specific physical copy of a not-green less-than-toaster-sized book that is a single-authored work of 20th century fiction without pictures, is located in Europe, is not on public display or in a museum, would not be classified as art, is not 1984, does not begin with P, and—and this is the most puzzling bit—does not have a single owner.
And a follow-up question on the puzzling bit: is the ownership of this book none the less clearly defined?
(For example, owned by a household or an institution such as a school or library)
Is it a forgery?
Is it poetry?
Written in English?
Is it hidden away because of its dangerous content?
[shopping list] No. Pretty good summary, but not perfect.
[clearly-defined owner] No.
[forgery] No.
[poetry] No.
[English] Yes.
[dangerous] No.
Are there multiple copies of this book?
Does it have the word 'The' in the title?
[multiple copies] Yes.
[The] Yes.
Is this a work of reference?
Biographical?
[Reference, Biographical] No, fiction.
Is the author still alive?
Was it written by an American person?
[living author] No
[American] Yes
Does the book contain a collection of stories?
The stories of O. Henry?
Is it a single physical copy of a book?
Just trying to work out where I am confused.
[Collection] No
[Oh, Enry] No
[single physical] Yes. I'll break my yes-no rule and say that it's not a specific physical copy, just any old physical copy. This hypothetical copy happens to be in Europe.
Great Gatsby?
[GG] Yes!
That's right, a copy of F. Scott Fitzgerald's 30,000,000-seller. Came out of US copyright at the start of the year.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Lucky guess there, I feel. So try your luck on the next subject which is ANIMAL.
Is it a blue footed booby?
Human?
Is it unique?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Is it a red footed booby?
Is it extinct?
[Boolbar] Nay.
[Chalky] Nay.
[Tuj] Nay.
[Bismarck] Yea.
[Simons Mith] see above, Boolbar.
[Superman] Nay.
Is it alive?
Is it found in a zoo?
[Raak] Nay, not in any conventional sense.
[Tuj] Yea.
Is it tiger food?
Is it an artefact made from animal material?
[Simons Mith] Nay.
[Raak] Nay.
Is it something animals grow and/or shed?
Is it a dead horse?
Is it a part of an animal?
Is it an animal product?
Does it begin with P?
[Simons Mith] Nay.
[CdM] Neigh.
Hidden textYou didn't see that coming, did you?

[Boolbar] Nay.
[Raak] Nay.
[Tuj] Hooray. One of the words does and it's the most important one.
Is it an apex predator?
Is it fictional?
Wondering how an animal in a zoo can be not dead yet not alive "in any conventional sense".
[Simons Mith] Nay, not in real life.
[Raak] Yea.
Is this an individual, named animal?
Is it something like an empty cage containing a 'water otter' or a drop bear or something?
Or is it something like a dog masquerading as a lion or similar?
Has it four legs?
A cartoon character?
[Raak] Nay.
[Simons Mith] Nay to both.
[Tuj] Nay.
[Boolbar] Hooray! Not quite a Yea, though.
Is it a pushmi-pullyu?
Does it speak for the trees?
Is it a collection of cartoon characters?
[Simons Mith] Nay.
[Raak] Nay.
[Bismarck] Yea.
Is it a mascot?
Are a tiger and a six-year-old involved?
Pingus?
Do they live in a zoo?
I think they come from China . . .
Is one of the words pandas?
[Raak] Nay.
[Dujon] Nay.
[Simons Mith] Pingus: Hooray ! but Nay. Zoolife: Yea!
[KagomeShuko] Nay²
Is Dr. Doolittle involved?
[Raak] Nay.
Related to the Harry Potter franchise?
Is a lion involved?
Are these animals movie stars?
[Raak] Nay.
[Boolbar] The zoo has a lion which has been known to interact with the AOTC, but that is not what the AOTC refers to. Nay.
[Simons Mith] Yea.
Related to a London Tube station?
P-p-p-p-latypus?
[Raak] Nay.
[KagomeShuko] N-n-n-nay.
Is it a bird?
Are rabbits involved?
Are the animals found in the farmyard?
[Raak] Yea. Or Nay if I were feeling pernickety, as we've already established there's more than one of them.
[Boolbar] Nay.
[Bismarck] Nay.
Did they appear in the film “Creature Comforts”?
[Raak] As far as I can work out, Nay. Certainly not in the pilot and not one of the regular creatures.
Do these animals live in the water?
Perhaps something fishy is going on here.
Penguins?
So we still don't know what these animals are?
Parasites?
Pelicans?
I've been struggling to think of non-four-legged animals beginning with P
Psloths?
(Psee what I mean?)
Got whiskers?
[KS] Nay.
[Boolbar] Yea. And Hooray!
[Chalky] Nay.
[SM] Nay, and Pnay.
[Tuj] Nay.
Could it be 3-2-1 Penguins?
Is it the penguins from the Madagascar films?
C'mon everyone, let's endgame.
The penguin waiters from Mary Poppins?
Do you p-p-pick up one?
Smile and wave, smile and wave.
[Tuj] Hooray! Hooray! Yea, it is indeed the group of penguins from the Madagascar films. Take this stick that might just be dangerous and leave some deathless words for the assembly.
The rest - Nay. Special mention though to KagomeShuko and Simons Mith who were not far behind/ahead.
[RTG] Ta! I suspect there may have needed to be some abstract in the introduction. Anyway!
MINERAL
Natural as opposed to man made?
Is there just one of it?
A positive start
[Dujon] Yes!
[Raak] Yes!
Is it the Blarney Stone?
Rock?
Fictional?
The Ever Given?
[KS] No!
[Rosie] Yes!
[Bool] No!
[Raak] No!
A mountain?
In the UK?
In the middle of Australia?
Is it found outdoors?
[Raak] No!
[Rosie] No!
[SM] No!
[Bool] Yes!
Is it in (or under) the sea?
Not on (or in) planet Earth?
[Raak] No!
[Bool] Yes! Extra-terrestrial!
An asteroid?
Oo! Mwa! Mwa! ?
[Rosie] No!
[Raak] *makes confused face, looks for option to turn on subtitles*
'Oumuamua?
Thanks, it defied my internet search attempts!
[Rs] No!
On Mars?
A dwarf planet?
(Tuj) Do you have to shout?
Closer to Earth than Voyager 1?
[SM] No!
[Rosie] Yes! and No!, but I've started so I'll finish
[Bool] Yes! There's an ambiguity there I'm choosing not to think about...
Ceres?
The Oordt Cloud?
[Rosie] No.
[Bism] Um, no.
Does it begin with a 'P'? ;)
[Dujon] No, not Pluto :D
Is it a cubewano?
A meteorite?
Research, research...
[SM] No!
[Rosie] No!
If it wasn't clear, the answer to Rosie's question "A dwarf planet?" was "Yes!" – the "No!" was to whether I had to shout.
Pallas?
Come on da Palace.
[Rosie] No! (not a P-)
Should
Should I be silly enough to read this name backwards would it bring up images of an earthly mountain range?
Sorry about the stutter.
Is it a cubewano?
Is it a Kuiper Belt object?
[Duj] Um... ah! No! Not Sedna :D
[Bool] Still no.
[Rosie] No!
One of Haumea, Gonggong, or Eris?
Three strikes...
[Raak] Yes!
Those three are all Kuiper Belt objects.
Wikipedia calls them trans-Neptunian, while calling some other bodies KBOs, so I think there is a distinction being made.
Raak's found the distinction I'd found. I should've known there'd be debatable categorisations when I picked the AOC, alas!
Gonggong?
Strike one...
[Rr] Nono!
Haumea?
Strike two...
[Bool] No!
Eris?
Gotta be.
Home run
[Rosie] YES!
Eris it is, named for the Greek goddess of strife and discord. A frozen methane baton is yours, sir!
Fear not, the baton will be stored in liquid nitrogen until such time . . . . . .
And the next object is

ABSTRACT

Anarcho-syndicalism?
That moment you realise you can't remember what you went upstairs for?
(Chalky) No. I thought we'd done that.
(Boolbar) Damned cheek! Not that.
related to entertainment?
Would it exist if human beings didn't?
Just to wrap up the previous round, it's very disconcerting to set a mystery and have someone else start another game with the answer as the winning move!
(Simons) NOT related to entertainment.
(Tuj) Probably, though I have little insight into the minds of animals.
Is it a feeling?
Is the AOTC a single word?
(Raak) A feeling? NO, not really.
(Tuj) YES, a single word.
Is it a theory?
Does it rely on sight?
[forgetfulness] I was thinking of myself to be honest.
is it a cognitive ability, such as counting?
(Chalky) NO, not a theory.
(Boolbar) NO, not specifically.
(SM) NO, I wouldn't call it an ability.
(Raak) more info Could arise from a feeling.
An action?
Is it a Deadly Sin?
(Raak) NO, not an action.
(Tuj)In effect, YES.
Generally considered to be a psychiatric disorder?
Jealousy?
(Raak) NO, not normally considered a psychiatric disorder.
(SM) NO, not jealousy.
Is it imagination?
Ennui?
(KagomeShuko) Imagination? NO.
(Boolbar) Ennui? NO, wrong language for one thing.
Schadenfreude?
(Raak) Good guess, but wrong.
Late entry - Greed?
Is it a positive/beneficial trait?
(Bismarck) NOT greed though this may be one of the consequences.
(SM) Positive/beneficial? Most definitely NOT.
Does it begin with P?
Poverty?
Spite?
(Tuj, and therefore Raak) NO.
(SM) NOT spite.
Avarice?
Being a chav?
(Bismarck) Avarice? NO.
(Raak) Being a chav? Not a Sin, unfortunately, so NO.
So is it a German word?
Angst?
Ofermod?
(Tuj) NO, not German. (Dim y Gymraeg chwaith.)
(Raak I) vide supra
(Raak II) Not quite the word. *appreciative applause from a well-read audience*
Well if it's not Swedish death metal is it some other musical form?
That's what I found when I looked it up
Hubris?
Raak has it. HUBRIS it is. Now don't get cocky, mate.
I withdraw the baton from its liquid nitrogen bath and carefully hand it to you. Wear all sorts of PPE, esp. gloves.
The next is ANIMAL with MINERAL connections.
A mollusc?
Rock Lobster?
Here comes a bikini whale!
Is it unique?
[Ros,Raa] Well played.
[SM] A nice literal interpretation of mineral connections, but not a mollusc.
[B] Not Rick Lobster (in any meaning of the phrase)
[T] Not unique.
BTW, there are also VEGETABLE connections, but they seemed less salient than the MINERAl ones when I set this.
[B] Nor Rock Lobster.
An egg?
[R] Not an egg.
A mole?
Is the animal edible?
[SM] not a mole.
[R] *laughter in the audience* Not edible. At least, not customarily.
Is it an entire living animal?
[SM] If I were being curmudgeonishly strict, I'd say no. It's many entire etc.
Is it that famous relative of the elephant, the Rock Hyrax?
[RtG] Not a rock hyrax.
Found in the sea?
[B] I'm sure some of them could be, from time to time, but it's not a characteristic feature.
Are they mountain/cliff critters?
[SM] No association with mountains and cliffs.
Human?
[C] The audience heaves a sigh of relief at the first step of progress. Human.
Rock stars?
Are any of these humans still alive?
[SM] Not trolls singing music with rocks in.
[B] Some are alive.
Knights in shining armour?
Does sport come into it?
Blaenau Ffestiniog quarrymen?
[SM] Nor in white satin neither.
[B] Sport can come into it, but not primarily.
[R] Not quarrymen.
Do these humans work with the minerals referenced?
[B] Yes, they work with the minerals.
Sculptors?
[SM] Not as closely as that.
Does it begin with P?
A navvy?
[T] Not only does it not begin with a P, it does not end with a P, nor is there a P in the middle.
[R] Not that closely either.
Geologists?
[B] Not geologists.
Do these people share a nationality?
Are these people skilled?
[T] Not compatriots.
[R] The audience nods at another small step in the right direction. These people are indeed skilled.
Are they miners?
Not to be confused with minors, or even minor miners . . . .
Is the mineral metal?
[KS] Not min*rs.
[R] It can be metal.
Does building come into it?
[B] The audience swoons in ecstasy. Building comes into it! Indeed it does!
I was going to say bricklayers, even before the last clue. Bricklayers?
See? I said it.
Is it, therefore, since building comes into it, though without wanting to take a leap in the dark, builders?
[SM] Not bricklayers.
[B] Not builders.
Architects?
Are they celebrated in song?
I'm thinking of a ditty by Flanders and Swann in particular.
I don't know if F&S have ever celebrated architects, but Rosie has the answer: An Architect. Have this 1:1 scale model of the Burj Khalifa.
Precognition?
Cheers, Raak. I'll put it in the garage until I find a place for it.

Now, the next object is ABSTRACT

An HTML <hr> tag?
A feeling?
A well known phrase or saying?
Related to music?
(Dujon) Clever clogs :-). Sorry, NO.
(KagomeShuko) NO, not a feeling.
(Software) NO, not a well-known phrase or saying.
(Tuj) Music? NO. Nor steam engines or Wales.
Artistic?
(Raak) Artistic? NO.*audience cackles maliciously*
Vandalism?
(Raak) I smile, but NO.
Does it begin with P?
Political?
(Tuj) NO, does not begin with a P.
(Boolbar) Political? NO.
It is something one can look at?
(Raak) NO, not currently.
An eclipse?
the Reformation?
(Simons Mith) Nice, but NO.
(Raak) NO, nothing so fundamental.
The Olympic flame?
(Simons Mith) NO, not the Olympic Flame.
Is this extra-terrestrial?
(Duj) Extra-terrestrial? NO, not at all.
Weather-related?
(Chalky) Weather-related? NO.
Is it an event happening at intervals?
(Simons Mith) Well, if it existed, YES
Is it fictional?
(Raak) In a literal sense YES, in most other senses NO.
A month of Sundays?
(Software) Nice try but NO.
A paradox?
A real thing named after something fictional?
(Bismarck) NOT a paradox.
(Raak) NO, not that.
Something to do with the end of the world as we know it ?
Is it elevenses?
The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul?
By saying that this subject is something that we can't look at currently, are you referring to the effects of the coronavirus in that statement?
(Dujon) Some would say that, but seriously, NO.
(KS) NO, nothing as domestic as that.
(SM)NO, far less poetic.
(RtheG) No, COVID is not the reason we can't see it.
Is it something we hear rather than see?
(Chalky) Seen rather than heard? NEITHER. In fact, in an important sense it doesn't exist.
Halloween?
(SM) Nice, but alas NO.
The Future?
A type of dream?
(Chalky) The future? Not the AOTC but you never know.
(Dujon) A type of dream? For the first time there's a non-NO answer, which in this case is COULD BE.
Imagination?
(Superman) NO, not imagination.
A prophecy?
(SM) NO, not a prophecy. Maybe I should add the the AOTC does not now actually exist.
Did the AOTC exist at some point in the year 1900?
(Boolbar) Around in 1900? NO. *some suppressed audience giggles*
Tomorrow?
(Softers) NO, not tomorrow.
Can it be expected to exist in the future?
Déjà Vu ?
(Raak) I would say YES, but others with more knowledge may disagree.
(Chalky) NON, c'est pas ça.
Is it next week, next month, next year?
(KS) NO, none of those.
Does this mark the end of something?
(RtheG) End of something? NO.
Is it the foundation of the United Federation of Planets?
(SM) NO, nothing as benign as that.
A legend?
We had a pink moon the other day, so is it a blue moon? If not, is this something astronomical?
(Raak) NO, not a legend.
(Bismarck) NO, nothing astronomical, so not a blue moon. Not shy blue or navy blue.
Er, sky blue, that is. Not royal blue, either.
The Impossible?
(Chalky) The impossible? NO.
Is the AOTC a single word?
(Tuj) Single word? NO. The AOTC is four words, one of which is the definite article.
Is the third word "of"?
(Raak) Third word "of"? NO.
End Of The Game?
Are the middle two words "of the"?
(Raak) Middle two words "of the"? NO. There is no "of" in it.
All The King's Horses?
Is it related to the Morniverse?
The sky?
(Raak) All the King's Horses? NO. None of 'em.
(Tuj) Related to the Morniverse? NO.
(Superman) The sky? NO. Remember the AOTC does not now exist in any true sense.
The European Super League?
Is it the next something or other?
The next big thing?
Underpinning Boolbar
(Boolbar & Softers) Alas, too late and wrong anyway because CDM, with a flash of inspiration and a huge wodge of cash, has the answer. It's the European Super League. "Let it fall among the weeds." (John Skelton ca. 1550).
A lurker's victory coming out of the blue with no preparation or planning. Seems about right.

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
But is it art?
Heraldry?
Animal human?
A well known phrase or saying?
Is it Schoedinger's cat?
Bigger than an imaginary toaster?
Argh! I forgot about this; sorry.
Art? No.
Heraldry? No.
Animal connection human? Yes
A well known phrase or saying? Um. I guess it is a well known phrase, but it is not an aphorism or anything of that kind.
Sch(r)ödinger's Cat? *opens box to check* No. *looks in box again* Wait. Why is there nothing but HOPE left inside?
Bigger than imaginary toaster? Well, it definitely could be very big. But it is really incommensurable with a toaster, imaginary or not.
Is it a human invention?
Personal space?
A sense of humour?
Is it Lionheart or Heart of a Lion? playing my Wild-Guess card
To do with emotion?
And now some answers that I could have sworn I posted have disappeared; apologies again.

Human invention? More of a creation than an invention, but I will go with Yes.
Personal space? No.
Sense of humour? No.
Lions, Hearts? No.
To do with emotion? No.
Lebensraum?
Sorry, my German is pretty crap.
Mankind?
Is the AOTC a single word?
Might one do this upon a star?
Is it the shipping forecast?
Do computers play a part?
That's twice I have posted some answers from my phone and they haven't shown up. Not sure what is going on; sorry
Lebensraum? No.
Mankind? No.
Single word answer? No.
The act of being instantaneously incinerated? No.
Shipping Forecast? No.
Computer-related? Well, these days, pretty much everything is computer-related, and the AOTC is no exception. But since the AOTC also predates computers, I think the answer has to be No.
Did it arise before the Renaissance?
Pre-Renaissance? No. (I suppose there might have been some related concept prior to that time but the best answer is clearly No. Also, please don't now ask me a whole bunch of questions in an attempt to date the AOTC, since I am unable to give a clear answer. I can tell you that the google ngram viewer suggests that the phrase on the card seems to have started coming into significant use in the mid 1800s.)
Also, I guess I should clarify that the connection of the AOTC to computers is pretty tangential. I probably should just have said a simple No.
To do with economics?
To do with economics? No. (Except very tangentially blahblahblah.)
Is it associated with a particular geographic location?
Particular geographic location? Good question! In principle, no, and the AOTC has been relevant in various places in the past and in the present. But it's fair to say that, recently, it has a strong association with a particularly geographic location. So I'm going with Yes.
Hidden textAnd what does recently mean, you might ask? Well, it means both in the last couple of decades and in the last year in particular.
Anything to do with health?
Anything to do with politics?
Does it begin with P?
Health-related? No.
To do with politics? Yes. *sustained applause*
Begins with P? I'll tell you for free that there are three words on the card and the first is the definite article. One of the others does begin with P.
Is the word which starts with a P "party"?
The Monster Raving Loony Party?
According to the MRLP, their moniker consists of three words.
P = Party? No.
MRLP? No.
Does the P stand for 'principle'?
Probably oughtn't be encouraging this line of attack...
Principle? No. Nor Principal, in case that was going to be the next question.
Is it a lying buffoon?
Lying Buffoon? No.
The Industrial Revolution?
Is the P-word position?
The Pindustrial Prevolution? No.
Position? No.
Is the P word Philosophy?
Or even Parliament?
Philosophy? No.
Parliament? No.
For free I will tell you that the P word is not particularly connected to politics in and of itself. It is the other word that has a clearer political connection.
Is the P word pandemic?
Pandemic? No. Tuj's observation is probably a good one. There are a lot of words beginning with "P" in the dictionary.
Anything to do with land borders?
P-word proposition?
Border-related? No.
Propositional? No.
Is it to do with a war?
War-related? No.
Has it had a strong association with the USA in the last year?
Is the definite article the first word?
Is it directly related to voting?
Typical. You wait weeks for a Yes, and then three show up at once.
Strong association with USA in last year? Yes. *applause*
Definite article = first word? Yes.
Related to voting? Yes. *rapturous applause, where the rapture is definitely partly born of relief*
Is it a political position, such as Speaker?
The Trump Presidency...
About the one thing I didn't want to be reminded of. Hope it's wrong.
Political position? No.
Trump presidency? No.
Hidden text"...the phrase on the card seems to have started coming into significant use in the mid 1800s."
Is it 'The voting public,' or something along those lines?
Voting Public? *sustained applause* No.
Something along those lines? Yes. It is more of an established phrase than "voting public", though.
The hoi polloi?
Hoi Polloi? No.
Democratic Party?
Democratic Party? No. (P = Party has already been ruled out.)
Is 'Primaries' one of the words
Primaries? No. Also, the P word is not "photosynthesis", "parrot", "predestined", or "pickpocket". As I said before, the P word is not particularly connected to politics as such, so I don't think you will find this route profitable. Which is also not the P word.
Is it statistical?
Is it a group of people who share a particular characteristic?
Aware this may be too vague or broad to answer well, in which case so be it.
Is it statistical? The most technically correct answer is Yes, but I worry that this answer could end up being misleading. *applause*
Group sharing a characteristic? I am going to go with Yes (and *substantial applause*,) with the caveat/reminder that the AOTC is Abstract, not Animal.
Further clarification
The AOTC is not a group as such. But it stems directly from a group who share a characteristic.
Is it the popular vote?
Maybe my close guess was even closer than I thought it was. And I'm stumped for anything else. I keep thinking of things where the p word has the political connotations.
Do the words that aren't the definite article rhyme?
Stalling for time while someone comes up with a better approach...
Do they rhyme? No, because Popular does not rhyme with Vote. The Electoral College awards Simons the baton despite the fact that Tuj received more applause.
Me again? All right...
These things are VEGETABLE.
Are they edible to humans?
Is it unique?
[SM,CdM] Good show!
Something made of wood?
Are they used in the playing of a game?
[Edible] Yes.
[Unique] No.
[Wooden] No.
[Gameable] No.
Is that a record? A yes for the first ever question?
Well, they begin with P
Potatoes?
Comprising more than one ingredient?
[SM] Last happened half a dozen rounds ago
[Spuds] No
[Multi-ingrediented] Yes
Is it a dish? (Culinary, not ceramic.)
[Dishy] No.
Bouquet Garni?
Does it contain tomato?
[Bouquet and tomato] No and no.
Is it customarily eaten as part of a meal?
Is it a fruit?
[Meal, Fruit] No and no.
Although edible, is this not normally eaten?
A flower?
[not normally eaten, flower] No and no.
Medication?
Are the components uncooked?
[Medicinal, uncooked] No and no
Does it begin with P?
Does it include peas?
[Ps and peas] No and no.
Muesli?
Contains legumes?
[Legumes, muesli] No and no.
Is this normally eaten?
Not unclarifying the double negative
[Normally eaten] Yes. :-)
Eaten raw?
Is it drinkable?
[raw, drinkable] Nope and nuh-uh.
Does it include potato?
Cooked but among many "no"s, not a dish, nor customarily part of a meal... hmm.
Any nuts in it?
[Spuds, nuts] Nay and no.
Is it used to feed animals?
[Animal food] A clever twist, but no.
A biscuit?
Is there fish in it?
[Biscuits, fish] No twice more.
Does it contain sugar?
[Sugar] Oh yes.
Is it ornamental?
Cake like?
Fried?
[Ornamental, cake-like, fried] Nay, no, and nuh-uh.
Are oats in it?
Primarily eaten by animals?
[Oats, animals] No and no again
Does it contain cocoa butter?
Any rice in it?
Is it pulp for paper?
I cooked lots of that for my fourth grade science project.
[Cocoa, rice, pulp] A full set of nopes.
Does it come in a variety of colours?
Is it usually eaten cold?
[Colours] Yes

[Cold] Yes

Salad?
[Salad] Back to no again. Your processes of elimination are being super thorough this time.
Is it associated with a particular location?
Is yeast needed?
Locational, yeasty] Nuh-uh and nope.
Gaspacho?
Would most of us be able to find it for sale in our local supermarket?
[Gazpacho, supermarket] No and no.
Candy floss?
Can you drink it?
Is it mainly composed of sugar?
[Floss, drinkable] No and no

[Sugar] Yes. Audience applauds in relief

Rock?
[Rock] No. We did that one, not too long ago.
Might you buy this at a funfair?
[funfair] No, I don't think so. I'm not sure though. On balance let's play safe and stick with 'No.'
Recap
Edible, cooked, ingredient, not to be found in a supermarket or funfair, mostly composed of sugar, and not anything else you can think of.
Sugar cane?
Sugar Beet?
A sugar basket?
[Sugar*] All no, but Bismark's summary gets a weak smattering. Although I'm not sure what you mean by 'and not anything else you think of'. I can't relate that to any of the questions or my answers.
Soda syrup? I don't know the culture of these games well enough yet to say whether you'd say no to drinkable in this case. I don't think you can drink the syrups for cola, etc. by themselves.
[Soda syrup] No. 'Drinkable' was asked earlier and I don't think I'd have answered yes for that. It's like, shampoo. Technically you could gulp it down, but it's still a no. TBH I shudder to think what the concentrated syrups would taste like.
Mint flavoured?
[Minty] Yes. I had to check, but it seems that's a rarer option.
The filling of liqueur chocolates?
[Liqueur filling] No, getting that specific would have been unsporting. :-)
Corn syrup?
As used in almost everything :(.
[Corn syrup] No, not used in this, apparently.
Was this invented since 1900?
[Post 1900] No, a bit older, I think. I thought it was a firm no, but I'm struggling to confirm.
Can for sure say 'invented more than a century ago'.
A boiled sweet?
[Boiled sweet] No. Audience stirs, and there's some claps
Is it a viscous substance, like honey or treacle?
Sherbet?
[vicious sherbert] No and no, but the audience remains alert
Mat Mystery
[Mat] BTW, your surname's not Lambert is it? I knew a 'Matt' who preferred to be 'Mat' and it stuck in my head these many years
A sugar loaf?
[Sugar loaf] No. Cool idea, but no. You know, I knew about the mountain, never once thought about where it got its name.
Are these normally bought in packets containing different colours and flavours?
The problem with all this is I can't see what in this line is not available in a supermarket. I can get sweets and molasses and Mars bars for deep-frying in my local supermarket. So: is it a sugar chair, like those used in the movies to shatter over someone's head?
[Packets] No...? Yees...? I suspect that's too close to call nowadays. Nevertheless, solid clappage occurs

[Sugar chair] No.

[Supermarkets] Supermarkets may be pretty comprehensive, but they don't sell everything. I'd only expect this to show up in the biggest supermarkets (and the right specialist shops), so when asked about 'normal' supermarkets I said no. I don't think Twickenham Waitrose has 'em, for example, and that's a good-sized shop. But for Kingston Waitrose, which is quite a bit larger, I reckon the balance tips. You all need to tell me the precise square footage of your nearest supermarket, then I'll redo the calculations. :-)

[SM's Mat Mystery] No, not Lambert. Besides, my government name is neither Mat nor Matt.
Are they mostly used for commercial purposes? The supermarket thing had me believing it was some industrial ingredient only used in factories, so let's tease that one out if we can.
Would some type of restaurant use this?
Some type of pastille?
Opal fruits?
My favourite...
Is it medicinal?
I thought of Fisherman's Friends a while ago, but the dating doesn't fit.
[Commercial] Yes. At least in the sense I think you mean. They're things people can buy, but unusual enough that only a larger-than average supermarket would stock 'em.
[Restaurants] No.
[Pastilles] No.
[They're starburst now, bah] No.
[Medicinal] No.
Used to decorate cakes?
Correction
Sorry, rereading Mat's query, I think I ought to change that to a No. Overlooked the word 'purposes'. This isn't, e.g. catering supplies, it's an ordinary thing bought for or by its end-user.
Dragees?
[Cake decor, dragees] No and no.
Do they typically come individually wrapped?
[Individually wrapped] No.
Are they spherical?
[Spherical] Yes! Strong applause
Are they more than 1cm in diameter?
[Diametrics] Yes! More applauses, possibly even whoops
More than 2 inches?
Gobstoppers?
standing on the shoulders of giants
A winner at last
[Gobstoppers] Yes! Gobstoppers is the AOTC. Audience collapses in relief, and they're probably not alone By Jove you had to work hard for that one. I was genuinely surprised that no-one thought to ask 'Sweets' weeks ago.
I think a lot of us were focused in on sweets for a long time, even if we never asked the question specifically. (That was my focus of attention ever since your reply when I asked if sugar was an ingredient.) The "no" to boiled sweets, though undoubtedly a correct answer, may have ended up taking us away from the right line of thinking.

MINERAL
Marbles?
Unique?
Metallic?
Marbles? No.
Hidden text''Unlike the ones from the book and the films, where Willy Wonka says you would break your teeth if you tried to chew a gobstopper, the Nestle produced gobstoppers are chewable once sucked long enough, and unlike their fictional counterparts they are not everlasting.'' Remarkably, that does not have a [citation needed].

Unique? Yes.
Metallic? Yes. *some muttering and head-shaking in the audience*
Is it found on planet Earth?
Does it weigh more than a million tons?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
Is it a small blob of neutron star matter?
(Just on the off chance that the answers to the previous two are both yes.)
Neutron Blob. The latest addition to the Mornington Crescent Cinematic Universe
On Earth? Yes.
> 1012g? Yes.
< toaster? No.
Neutron Blob? No.
The totality of British steam locomotives in 1960?
About 1.2 million tons give or take.
Ancient locomass? I know you'll find this hard to believe, Rosie, but No.
The Earth's core?
Human made?
Does it begin with P?
Earth's core? No. *some applause*
Human made? No.
Begin with P? No.
Is it the reserves of something?
Is it visible at the surface of the Earth?
Reserves? No.
Visible at the surface of the Earth? Yes.
Man-made?
Iron ore?
A specialised building?
Man-made? No.
Iron ore? No.
Specialised building? No.
A mountain?
Is it thinly spread all over the planet?
All the uranium in the oceans?
Is the metal in elemental form?
Mountain? Yes.
Thinly spread? No.
Damp and salty U? No.
Metal in elemental form? I am pretty sure the answer is Yes, though I know Rosie is a chemistry expert, while chemistry has never been my strong suit, so apologies in advance if I got this wrong.
(CdM) I meant metal as metal rather than chemically combined as in an ore, or rust even.
Does it begin with an E?
[Rosie] *nods* You can tell me at the end of the round whether I was right or not. :)
Begins with an E? No.
Is it plated?
Is the metal metaphorical?
Is it in a single nation?
Plated? No.
Metaphorical? No.
In a single nation? Yes.
Is it in Europe?
Is the metal copper?
In Europe? Yes.
Copper? No.
Does the metal end in 'um'?
As so many of them do
Does the name of this mountain include the name of a metal?
End in um? Yes. And also No. Check your assumptions.
Name include name of a metal? No.
A little more research also suggests to me that the correct answer to Rosie's last question (elemental form) might be Yes and No. But I am honestly not sure what the best answer is.
Is just one metal involved?
Is it West of Prague?
I should ask this more often.
Just one metal involved? No.
Hidden textIn a nerdy linguistic way, I find it interesting that the phrase 'the metal', which showed up in four questions, spanned meanings that I reasonably interpreted as potentially including multiple metals (elemental, metaphorical), to a meaning that definitely required a single metal (ending in -um). 'Is the metal copper?' kinda sits in the middle; I perhaps should have suggested assumption checking at that point. As you were.

West of Prague? Yes.
Hidden textOf course, it's also East of Prague, if you go far enough.
Does the mountain actually have Mount or Mountain in its name?
Is this mountain named on Google Maps?
The EU Butter Mountain it isn't, but it's too good not to play it
Mount or mountain in the name? There are in fact two acceptable answers on the card. The answer is Yes for one and No for the other. *a little muttering from some of the more literal-minded audience members*
Named on Google Maps? Yes. (Both answers on the card appear on Google Maps.)
Butter Mountain? No. (Interestingly, the second one of those would clearly have been only a marginal Yes in response to Tuj's last question.)

(This one is proving harder than I expected. I hope I haven't been misleading with any of my answers.)
Is it in Wales?
Is it South of Lyon?
In Wales? No.
South of Lyon? No.
What I would like it to be is the enormous yellow sulphur dumps you get at the end of some oil pipelines where they de-sulphurise the stuff. Is it that?
Enormous yellow sulphur dumps you get at the end of some oil pipelines where they de-sulphurise the stuff? No.
Is it in the Alps?
In the Alps? No.
In the UK?
Does mining come into it?
In the UK? No.
Mining-related? No.
(And, as I keep reading, I now think that my answer to Rosie probably should have been No. But I'm still not sure. Did I mention that chemistry is not my strong suit?)
Is it south of Loen?
You know, the village in Stryn Municipality in Vestland county in Norway.
Is it an island?
Oh, _that_ Loen
South of Loen? No. Which means it is also north of every Loon, Lyon, Leon, Léon, and León listed in Wikipedia.
An island? No.
Does water play a part?
Is it in Iceland?
Watery? No.
In Iceland? Yes! *applause*
Eyjafjallajökull?
Strike that suggestion - begins with an E
Is it a chocolate pavlova mountain?
You can find them in Iceland.   :)
Does either form of the name end with "-jökull"?
Eyjafjallajökull? No. *some applause*
Chocolate pavlova mountain? No.
Hidden text Only after googling did I understand the joke -- no Iceland where I currently live or have previously lived. :)

Jökullsuffixed? No.
North Atlantic Ridge?
North Atlantic Ridge? No. *some applause*
Surtsey?
Surtsey? No. (Not an island) *applause*
Is it only in Iceland?
Only in Iceland? Yes.
Does it begin with a K (in Icelandic)?
Begins with a K? No.
I'm surprised this is taking so long; I would have thought it was easy to guess by this point.
The amount of lava erupted from a volcano?
I'll have you know I spent at least one microlife yesterday looking up the geology and geography of Iceland on Wikipedia, and I've still no idea what it is.
Quantity of lava? No.
Now I'm feeling guilty! The audience applauds at the word "volcano".
Hidden textAt this point I will tell you for free that all my confusion/ignorance with regard to Rosie's question does indeed concern lava. I have never thought much about lava beyond the fact that it's a, well, hot mess. What exactly is going on chemically, I have no idea. Maybe, with Rosie's help, I'll end this AVMA better informed than I was when I started. :)
Fagradalsfjall!
Hekla, with lots of shouting
Hekla? Hekno, because...
...Fagradsfjall, which commenced eruptions in March of this year and is still erupting (at least as of yesterday) is indeed the answer on the card. "Fjall" is Icelandic for mountain. The other acceptable answer on the card was Geldingadalir which is the more precise location of the eruption.
Hidden textFull disclosure. The original AOTC was just Geldingadalir, but when I was asked whether the AOTC was a mountain, I felt it would have been badly misleading to have answered No, so I hurriedly grabbed my Sharpie and wrote in Fagradalsfjall as well. Also, to clarify one other piece of my answers, I went with the fact that one dictionary definition of 'metallic' is simply 'containing a metal'; I was a little worried that answer might mislead and tried to convey as much with the audience reaction; in the end it didn't seem to lead you astray too much!
Hidden textI clearly overthink this, don't I? :)
(Careful with this baton, Raak. It's still a bit hot.)
The next is VEGETABLE and sometimes ANIMAL, with ABSTRACT connections; or vice versa.
An anorak?
A wahoo from the centre circle.
Is it edible?
[Rosie] Not an anorak.
[CdM] Not edible, is the simplest answer.
Rethinking the rubric, it might be better if more long-windedly expressed as VEGETABLE and MINERAL, with ABSTRACT, VEGETABLE and sometimes ANIMAL connections.
Human Made?
A musical instrument?
Would a Morniverser typically own one of these?
[B] Yes, human made.
[SM] Not a musical instrument.
[R] I think a Morniverser would not typically own one of these, although they very well might.
A fossil?
A weapon?
Is the vegetable wood? Is the mineral stone?
[RtG] Not a fossil.
[R] Not a weapon.
[SM] There can be wood, peripherally. (murmur of amusement in the audience)
[SM2] (Confers with Mycroft. Mycroft gives a definite nod.) Yes, the mineral is stone.
Are the animal connections just because it is human-made (and perhaps human-used?), or do they go beyond that?
[CdM] The animal connections go beyond human make or use.
Is it a weapon? Is it a tool?
[B1] Not a weapon.
[B2] Not a tool.
Is it art?
Is the item fire- or heat-related?
[B] *applause!* It is art.
[SM] Not fire- or heat-related.
Is it commonly sited indoors?
[SM] Yes, indoors.
Is it smaller than a toaster?
A painting?
Is Mycroft the Highland version of Myspace?
[C] Can be smaller than a toaster.
[B] *rapturous applause* It is a painting!
[C] Mycroft declines to say.
All done by one artist?
[B] Not by one artist.
In the previous, I should add that it is not a specific painting.
Impressionist?
A still life?
A pet portrait?
Trying to think of something arty that a Crescenter might have rather than probably has is a narrow area to work in.
[SM] The exact phrase was “very well might”, which is even narrower. I mean, a Crescenter might own an original Chagall,
Hidden textI choose this example because I did know a perfectly ordinary not-rich person who owned a (small!) Chagall.
but I wouldn’t stick a “very well” in front.
[S] Could be.
[SM] Not unless it's dead, because...
[C] Yes. A still life. Have this tasteful basket of flowers, fruits, and roadkill.
Everyone can now boast of their collection of still lives that every Crescenter should own.
Mmmmmmm ... roadkill
Me again? OK. I'm about to head into a horrendously busy period, so here is a nice easy ANIMAL and MINERAL that we can hopefully despatch in a few days. *some immediate muttering and discussion in the audience*
An item of clothing?
Item of clothing? No.
Is the animal Human?
Is this weapon?
Human? *some more animated discussion in the audience* Given what was posted on the board, No.
Weapon? *laughter* No. Although, for a sufficiently broad definition, and in some circumstances, Yes.
Is it unique?
Unique? No.
A handbag?
It is I, Rosie
Does it begin with P?
A statue?
Sports-related?
A haaaaaaaaaaandbaaaag? No.
Begin with P? No.
Statue? No.
Sports-related? No.
Hidden textI can think of a very very very minor way to relate the AOTC to sports, but it's not worth exploring. So forget I said anything.
Can you lift it easily with one hand?
Part of an animal's anatomy?
Is the mineral salt?
Lift easily with one haaaaaaaaaaaaand...
Sorry. <mode "Edith Evans" = off>

Lift easily with one hand? Yes, I can.
Part of animal's anatomy? I think No is the best answer, but *some audience discussion*
Salt? No. *a sprinkling of audience laughter*
Are the connected animals domesticated?
A paint brush?
Is it edible?
Connected animal domestic? Sometimes.
Paintbrush? No.
Edible? The best answer, though not actually 100% accurate, is Yes. *some applause*
Is it not merely edible, but eaten?
Eaten? Yes. *more applause*
Hidden textThis is a lively audience
I'm going to clarify the "anatomy" response: I think that No is probably the right answer, though there could be some room for some debate, and I'm quite sure that No is the least misleading answer.
Are eggs involved?
Eggs involved? Well, an egg is, because that is the AOTC. One ovoid baton tossed carelessly in Boolbar’s direction.
The yolks on me.
Oh! I didn't think it would be eggactly that. We can let CdM go and be very busy and begin once more with another nice easy one: ANIMAL with some MINERAL. And no it isn't an egg again.
Is it human?
A chicken (with a tinfoil hat)?
Salted cod?
Human? No.
Chicken? No. Not even with a bit of foil. *Some of the audience are licking their lips*
Salted Cod? No. *'Oooh' comes from the audience*
Dead animal?
Is it unique?
Does it live in the ocean?
tl;dr Being in the AVMA chair is surprisingly hard:
Hidden textReflections on an egg. First, I set the last AVMA forgetting to check whether we had had 'egg' as an answer before. To my surprise, even though the word has come up over 50 times, it has never been a subject before (though both Faberge egg and Easter egg have been). Second, it's amazing how you think you've set a nice easy AVMA, and then the questions come in and you realise there are many more subtleties than you considered. In my head, I was thinking of a simple chicken egg sitting on a table. But I immediately had to worry about whether people understand 'mineral' as a geological term, or as including biominerals, such as eggshell? (I decided eggshell should be classified as mineral, but does that mean we should actually classify almost all animals as 'animal and mineral' because of bones and teeth??) Of course, having made that decision, I immediately ran into trouble with human eggs. And then there was the anatomy question. We'd classify ova within an animal as anatomical, but I had already assumed the existence of eggshell. But, then, what about, say, a developing chicken egg before it has been laid? Oh, and finally, it turns out some eggs are poisonous. Still, at least I was confident that one could lift an egg with one hand and that they could be weaponised. :)
Dead? I do hope so.
Unique? No.
Ocean dwelling? No.
Hidden textAlthough taking into account what you said in your hidden part, I would suspect there will be at least one example of the AOTC bobbing around in an ocean somewhere. This would be almost certainly accidental and should be ignored. It would not be 'living' anyway! Also, I haven't gone back through the entire history of this game to see if my AOTC has been used before. Sorry if it has.
Is it a preserved creature?
The worm in a bottle of Tequila?
Preserved? Well, yes. *A ripple of applause*   This might send people down the wrong path.
Wormy tequila? No. But I guess that was worth a shot...
But is it art?
Is the animal dangerous when alive?
...to people, that is.
Art? Isn't everything? In this case, NO. Although thinking about it, there is a connection between the word on the card and art...
DANGER! DANGER? NO. Well, usually not. Some close relatives might be.
Is the animal a ruminant?
Moo & Co.? NO.
Edible?
Stuffed?
Edible? YES! Stuffed? NO.
Escargot?
A tortoise?
Pickled?
I remembered the line break this time...
Snails? NO
Tortoise? NO
Pickled? Not usually, but apparently it can be found pickled (I did not know until I Googled it.)

Note: There are some tiny grey areas here. For instance it is possible that the AOTC could be associated with a ruminant, but it is then described as such and not just the single word on the card. Best ignored.

Is the mineral part a shell?
Shell? NO
Extinct?
Is the mineral salt?
Does it begin with P?
Extinct? NO.
Salt? YES! There is salt in there.
P? NO. But a P beginning word is associated with the AOTC.
Overacts
Ham? NO *Audience applause*
Bacon?
*Audience goes wild*
Yes! Bacon it is. The first thing I thought of after the previous "egg". It is wise not to play this game while feeling a tad peckish.
Back to me? OK—another one that I hope will be reasonably easy. ANIMAL and VEGETABLE
FIsh and chips?
Fish and Chips? No and No.
Bangers and mash?
Is it food?
Bangers and Mash? No and No.
Food? Yes.
Sushi?
Liver & Onions
Soup?
Does it require much preparation?
Burger and fries?
Meat and two veg?
Sushi? No.
Liver and Onions? No and No.
Soup? No.
Does it require much preparation? I'll go with No. It does require some preparation, but it is straightforward.
Burger and fries? No and No.
Meat and two veg? No and No and No.
Is the animal part, milk?
Animal part milk? Yes, in part. (Technically, No is possible, but anything other than a Yes would be misleading.)
Is the mineral part the container?
Mineral container? Is this a fiendish trick to make me admit there is a mineral component even though that was not specified on the board? If so, your dastardly plan has succeeded. It is very probable that there is a small amount of mineral. Is that useful? Almost certainly not. Is it anything to do with a container? Definitely not.
Oops.
Milk and cookies?
A cereal?
Milk and cookies? No and No.
A cereal? No. *a smattering of applause*
Porridge?
Porridge? No. *a smattering of applause by the same smatterers who smattered in response to the previous question*
Does it taste sweet?
Is it baked?
OK, now it is starting to get tricky. There are actually two acceptable answers on the card. I'd always thought of them as being essentially equivalent, but some perusal of the internet suggests some subtle differences. One of the two answers is probably more familiar to most people. With that in mind...
Sweet? For the more well known answer, I would say Sometimes But Mostly No, although it can be—and an even more complicated answer might depend on how we think of the flavour profile of a common but not essential ingredient. For the less common answer, the answer seems to be Mostly Yes.
Baked? Mostly No, but sometimes—and more likely in the case of the less common answer.
All of that makes sense to me, but perhaps not to you. So, to keep things simple, if we stick to the more familiar AOTC:

Sweet? Sometimes.
Baked? Usually No.
Sausages?
Sausages? No. *the serial smatterers smatter*
Are eggs used to prepare this food?
Hamburger?
Eggs used in preparation? Yes. *applause*
Hamburger? No.
A breakfast aliment?
Poached eggs?
A coddled egg?
Breakfasty? Yes, my dear Watson. *applause*
Poached eggs? No.
Coddled egg? No.
An English breakfast?
Is toast involved?
I think we are just about done here
English breakfast? No. *laughter*
Toast involved? *loud applause* Toast is one of the words on the card. (Oddly, however, it is at least arguable that the best answer to the question might be No.)
Soldiers?
Soldiers? No.
French Toast?
Scrambled egg on toast?
Yum-yum
Eggy bread?
And Chalky has it! The AOTC is indeed French Toast (which, of course, is not toast as the word is usually understood, hence my answer to Bismarck's earlier question). The alternative AOTC was Pain Perdu, which is, er, the French version of French toast. Unfortunately, I never got the P question. While the egg mixture for French toast is typically not sweetened (even though of course it may typically be served with very sweet things like maple syrup), my casual googling suggests that it is more common to include sugar in the making of pain perdu, so I think there may be a subtle difference. I don't think I've ever actually heard the term "Eggy Bread" before, but I would have awarded it the win had Chalky not got there first; as far as I can tell from very quick googling it is equivalent to French toast.

I have here one soaked and fried baton for Chal—hang on, where did I put it...?
Thought I might have nailed it in a moment of weakness ;^)

To quote our friend and all-round gamestar CdM "Being in the AVMA chair is surprisingly hard .." I can but do my best although it may be helpful to set an alarm as a reminder to pop in at least once a day.

Next up ANIMAL

If you translate the answer into French, does it begin with P?
CdM, I let you down :(
Is it human?
Alive?
Catgut?
Translates into a French P? NON

Human? - YES

Alive? - YES

Catgut? - NO

Involved in the world of entertainment?
A sportsperson?
British?
A single identified individual?
Involved in the world of entertainment? YES

A sportsperson? YES

British? NO

A single identified individual? YES

Female?
Plays in a team sport?
Female? NO

Plays in a team sport? NO

Roger Federer?
A cricketer?
Lately in the news?
Roger Federer? NO

A cricketer? NO

Lately in the news? NO

Have they won an Olympic medal?
European?
Retired?
Have they won an Olympic medal? NO

European? NO

Retired? YES

* rethink *
Retired? YES and NO
Retired from the sporting activity for which they are known?
Is this a footballer?
Retired from the sporting activity for which they are known? YES

Is this a footballer? NO

A lone yachtsman?
A lone yachtsman? NO
A commentator?
A commentator? NO
Not female. Trans?
American?
Trans? NO

American? YES

A golfer?
A F1 driver?
They are regularly retired.
Are we looking for the name of the person?
A golfer? NO

A F1 driver? NO

Are we looking for the name of the person? YES (as confirmed to CdM above as 'a single identified individual')

A tennis player?
A tennis player? NO
Has this person competed at a Summer Olympic Games?
Has this person competed at a Summer Olympic Games? Supportive of ... but NO - never competed
Has this person competed at a Winter Olympic Games?
Original questions R Us
Has this person competed at a Winter Olympic Games? NO [unoriginal answers R Us]
Is being a sportsperson the main thing for which this person is mémorable?
Is being a sportsperson the main thing for which this person is mémorable? NO *audience stirs*
Under the age of 60?
Is what they are mainly remembered for their post-retirement involvement in the sports world?
Under the age of 60? YES

Is what they are mainly remembered for (in) their post-retirement ... ? YES

... involvement in the sports world? NO

*hint* the 5th question asked on this subject is an avenue worth exploring
Have they been in a few movies?
Schwarzenegger?
Recap
We are to name an American man, still alive and under 60 though currently retired, who had some sporting links earlier in life, who has been involved in the entertainment industry and is known for this.
That looks like less useful info than there should be...
Have they been in a few movies? YES! *sighs and murmurs of relief from the audience *

Schwarzenegger? NO but a fine guess

Recap? A somewhat timorous description of this character's previous sporting prowess and current status in the entertainment industry although, by and large, correct.

O J Simpson?
*sighs*
A Schwarzenegger & O J Simpson are both 74 years young ... this chap is under 60 years of age
Does this person typically play himself in his movie appearances?
Does this person typically play himself in his movie appearances? NO
Keanu Reeves?
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?
*audience claps and cheers and generally goes wild for Tuj*
So not all-round-good-guy Keanu.

Dwayne Johnson it is! Not as Fast and Furious as some, I believe.

Here Tuj - have this baton hewn from Rock

What a gory baton!
Thanks Chalks! Let's head over now to something VEGETABLE.
A record-breaking prize vegetable?
Is it alive?
Raak] YES and NO. I think in the sense you mean, NO ;)
Supe] YES.
Does it span many acres?
A well-known forested area?
Does it begin with pea?
SM] No.
Rosie] No. (A couple of audience members confusedly unmute themselves briefly)
Bool] No
A particular tree?
Is it edible to humans?
Rosie] YES. (applause)
Supe] NO
A fruit tree?
Raak] NO
Is it of great age?
In the United States?
A bristlecone pine?
SM] YES.
Rosie] YES (applause)
Raak] NO
The General Sherman?
Rosie] NO. (gasps)
A creosote Bush?
Over 3000 years old?
Methuselah, the bristlecone pine?
Don't you dare make any ageist jokes.
Giant sequoia
RTG] NO.
Bool] NO.
Rosie] NO
Softers] YES. (clapping, then an expectant hush)
That redwood with the road going through it?
Supe] NO.
Gerneral Sherman?
Note to self: 4/4/4/1/3/2/
Sorfters] NO.
In California?
Bool] YES
General Grant?
Are we looking for the colloquial name of this sequoia
I had to look this up and there's quite a few named trees.
Softers] NO (appreciative 'ooh' from some audience members)
Bism] YES (if I'm understanding your question to be whether the AOTC is the name of a specific tree)
Does the tree have a military rank?
SM] NO
The President Tree?
Softers] NO.
Is it in the Giant Forest national park?
I thought I'd give this game a nudge.
Bool] NO!
A tree specific to the US of A DC and Christmas?
Duj] NO
Is it named after someone?
Raak] YES (some audience dissent, discussion and ooh-ing)
Is it named after some individual person by their name?
Does the name have seasonal connections?
Raak] YES (well, depending on your definition of the word 'person')
SM] NO (I began this 5 weeks ago :( )
Is it in the Mountain Home Grove?
Bool] NO
Cmon everyone, let's get this done this year!
Is it in the Sierra Nevada?
Hyperion?
I'll be very surprised if that's not right. :)
Raak] NO...
CdM] YES!
General Sherman popped into my head as a potential AOTC, but on research I found that this coast redwood, named after a mythical titan, is feted as the world's tallest known living tree. A very long wooden baton to you!
OK. A nice easy VEGETABLE.
An antivaxxer?
Is it a tree or made of something from a tree?
Edible?
Antivaxxer? No.
Tree or made from tree? Yes. *applause*
Edible? No.
Mainly paper?
A piece of furniture?
Paper? No.
Furniture? No.
A tool?
A work of art, or part of one?
Are there more than one?
Tool? No.
Art? No.
>1? Yes.
Christmas-related?
Christmassy? No.
Would you typically find one of these in someone's house?
Does it begin with P?
Found in someone's house? No. * audience laughter*
Begin with P? Regrettably, no. There is one P-adjacency that I can think of, but it does not appear on the card.
Is it too big/heavy to be lifted by one person
Is it something made of wood?
Alive?
Is it something revered?
Too big to be lifted by one person? No. *audience laughter, and considerable muttering*
Made of wood? Yes.
Alive? No.
Revered? No.
Wood-chip mulch?
Is it normally carried on one's person?
Mulch? No.
Normally carried on one's person? No. *considerable laughter*
Sawdust?
The stump of a tree?
Sawdust? No.
Tree stump? No.
Is it a man-made object?
Man-made? Yes. *audience mutter a little, but are generally in agreement*
A cricket bat?
Long shot (over silly point)
Cricket bat? No.
Is it pointy?
A stack of wood for burning?
Some sort of container?
Pointy? No.
Proto-bonfire? No.
Container? No.
Is it made of fossilised wood?
Fossilised? No.
Is it functional?
A hedge?
Functional? Yes. (Perhaps not a word that would naturally come to mind for the AOTC, but that has to be the best answer.)
Hedge? No (not alive, remember).
I'll also slightly qualify my answer to the "Pointy?" question to add a parenthetical "well, sometimes, sort of". Probably not helpful, though; just trying to pre-empt appeals at the end of the round.
Used for a game?
A weapon?
Is it edible for human consumption?
Used for game? Yes. *applause*
Weapon? No.
Edible? No.
A Pooh-stick?
A caber?
Pooh stick? No *laughter*
A caber? Yes! *applause*
I now have this image of highlanders playing poohsticks with cabers tossed over the side of the Forth Bridge.

I was handed a very long wooden baton, and I now hand on a shorter—but still very long!—wooden baton to Bismarck.
This thing could do with some handles, you know. Also its swishability is lacking somewhat. But on we go!
This is VEGETABLE with a bit of ANIMAL and MINERAL thrown in as accessories.
Is it an area of woodland?
Just in case trees are the current trend.
Smokey bacon crisps?
A Trifid?
A manufactured item?
Worcestershire sauce?
A recipe book?
Does it begin with S?
Is it portable by an average human?
Lights out - round 1!
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] No.
[Software] No.
[Rosie] Yes.
[nights] No.
[Simons] No.
[Tuj] No.
[Superman] Yes.
A pleasing symmetry in those answers.
Is it found in a typical household?
Is it made to be eaten?
It is mainly made of wood?
They keep a-comin'
[Rosie] Not uncommonly.
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] Yes.
Is it used for a game or sport?
Is it a tool, or part of a tool?
Is it piece of furniture?
The Noes have it
[Tuj] No.
[Raak] No.
[Radox] No.
Foldable?
It is a human artefact?
Oops, that ws effectively answered yes already.
Is it ornamental?
Is it functional?
Ducks redux
[Simons] No.
[Raak] Yes, and then No.
[Chalky] Ain't everything... Yes.
A hatstand?
A walking stick?
Generally of a stick-like form?
Is it (intentionally) combustible?
Does it belong in the garden?
Owed to joy
[Rosie] No.
[Software] No.
[Rak] No.
[nights] No.
[Radox] No.
Is the animal part leather?
A kitchen item?
Generally of a ball-like form?
Uncanny unanimity
[Software] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] No.
Is the animal part hair?
Is it smaller than a house brick?
The burden of the animals
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
A musical instrument?
A footstool?
An applau
[Simons] YES. The audience claps and sways.
[Software] No.
A stringed instrument?
Woodwind?
A guitar?
Violin?
A ton of applause
[Raak] Yes.
[Boolbar] No.
[Rosie] Yes! But there are two words on the card.
[Software] No.
Flying V?
A bass guitar?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] Possibly a version.
Is one of the words "guitar"?
A Fender?
Is one of the words 'dusty', 'forgotten' or similar?
speaking as part of the non-musical contingent
Does the first word on the card begin with 'A'?
And now the end is near
[Raak] Yes.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons] No.
[Dujon] No.
Acoustic guitar?
Spanish guitar?
Lo hiciste a tu manera
[Software] Yes, but not the answer on the card.
[Rosie] Si! Si! The audience stamps and claps, Rosie has won.

With a rose between your teeth, take this baton and lead us in an impromptu paso doble.

Arglwydd Mawr, dw'i wedi ennill. Be' sy'n ddigwydd?
Hidden textGood Lord, I won. Woss going on?

And the next object is

ABSTRACT

.
Is it Welsh?
(R the G) Welsh? NO. Looks more Latin-based to me.
Did Kant refer to it in any of his works?
(Superman) Not having read all of Kant (or any of it, actually) I can't say but the answer is very likely NO.
Does it have more syllables than 'breadbin'?
Is it owt do wi' art?
Did it originate in the bible or Shakespeare?
(SM) YES, it certainly does.
(Dujon) You cannot be serious. NO.
(Boolbar) I very much doubt it so let's just say NO.
Is it the steam that's on a winter's morning gently rises from the chimney of a steam engine which has just started to heat up for its first run up to York?
A well known phrase or saying?
A load of bollocks?
From Wales?
(R the G) Alas, NO. That's smoke BTW. Lighting up a steam loco is a dirty job.
(Boolbar) NOT a well-known phrase or saying.
(Softers) Generally, though not always, YES.
(Raak) NO. Not location-specific.
To do with current affairs?
(Raak) Current affairs? YES. *audience gets rather animated*
Democracy?
(Dujon) NO, not democracy.
Political rhetoric?
Social Media related?
(Softers) Political? YES. Rhetoric? NO.
(Boolbar) NO. Predates social media by quite a lot.
So nowt to do with Boris "not a complete clown" Johnson then.
(Raak) Not a thing. Nice link, BTW.
Does it involve death?
Does it have royal connections?
(Superman) - NO link with death.
(SM) - NO royal connections.
A Political Ideal?
Was this linked to a specific event?
Something to do with voters?
(Chalky) A political ideal? Very often, YES. *audience sit up and take notice*
(Bismarck) A specific event? NO.
(Boolbar) YES, quite a lot to do with voters. *even more buzz from the audience.*
Votes for women?
A ballot of some sort?
Universal suffrage?
Brexit Opportunities?
We do have a new smarmy incumbent, after all.
(Superman) Votes for women? NO.
(Duj) NOT a ballot.
(Raak) NOT universal suffrage.
(Softers) Brexit Opportunities? I think they'd keep quiet about it, so NO.
A method of voting?
(Simons Mith) A method of voting? NO.
Manifestos?
Elections?
Simons Mith has it! The AOTC is actually A Manifesto but that's near enough. I hand you the baton, now reduced to a worthless scroll of A4.
Oh look, it's got 'get Brexit done' scribbled on it in crayon.
Anyway, the next one for your delectation is ANIMAL.
Is it you?
No; too delectable.
Human?
Human - yes.
Alive at this moment?
Is it a specific person?
Alive - Yes
Specific - No
The members of some organisation?
A clan or tribe?
Is it more than 1000 people?
Organization - No
Clan - No
>1000? - No
A sports team?
sporty - No
Flat-Earthers?
Music related?
Honest politicians?
flat, musical or honest - all no.
The inhabitants of some small remote place?
Do they share the same name?
remote, common name: no again. A word related to the AOTC does come from a 'group' with a shared name. This is too broad to be a hint IMV - it's just a side observation.
Are all members of this group alive now?
Is it a group which one has to apply to to become a member?
[Alive, alive-o] Nup.
[Exclusive] Nu-uh.
Prime Ministers?
All the winners of some competition or honour?
[PM, winners] No and no.
Connections with TV or Radio?
[media] Nope.
From a specific country?
Are there more than five members of this group currently alive?
[Rosie]
Hidden textYou show surprising faith in humanity if you think there are fewer than 1000 flat-earthers out there. :)
Anything to do with hats?
[country, hatty] No and no
[5 alive] Yes.
To clarify, the AOTC refers to a singular generic specimen. How many AOTCs there actually are would be difficult to estimate.
Presidents of the USA?
Is it a profession?
[presidenty, professional] No and no
Is it a one word answer?
[one-word] Yes.
Is it a physical characteristic that links this group?
Is it a psychological characteristic?
[Physical] On balance, no.
[Psychological] ... On balance, yes. Did have to think about that
Age related?
Sport related?
My turn soon to manage Watford.
[Agey, sporty] Nah, twice.
Fans of something?
Royalty?
[Fans, royals] Nope, everyone's still dead cold.
So alive on the 15th Feb but dead now? Or are we barking up the wrong tree?
Looking at previous answers. Woof Woof!
Any political connection?
The Illuminati?
Following Boolbar's logic! And Rosie, why bother with Watford when you can buy Chelsea?
Is being a member of this group something that an individual can choose?
[alive and yet not] Treating that as a question, I think it highly probable that some AOTCs have met their end in the last few weeks, so, Yes.
[political] No.
[Illuminatuses] No
[a matter of choice] Tricky. A hesitant Yes.
Centenarians?
(Bis) I think that nice Mr Abramovich may be asking a little more than my current budget. Chelsea fan since 1957, BTW.
Connected with space travel?
[Rosie] age-related question - see above.
[Aaaaaaaage] Nope.
[Spaaaaaaace] Negatory, Houston
Connected with hair?
Stunt-men?
crime-related?
[hair-related] No
[stunt-related] Nay
[crime-related] Yes (Claps from the audience)
People on death row?
People let out on parole?
The Kray gang?
UK crime?
[Death row] No
[Parolees] No
[Krays] No
[UK] Nope.
Is the crime organized?
Related to transport?
[organized] No
[transport] No
Kleptomania?
Cannibalism?
Did the crime exist in the 19th century?
[Kleptomania] No
[Cannibalism] No
[19th Century] Not sure how to answer. I did start with a firm no but then changed my mind to yes.
Related to financial fraud?
[Frodulence] Nay
Treason?
[Treason] No, not especially associated with that either.
Are we looking for victims of a crime?
[victoms] Nope.
British?
[British] No, not really.
Does it end with a Y?
[-y?] No, they don't.
Does it begin with ... (*rolls 26-sided die*) ... P?
Trespassers?
[Trespassers] No. (Half a clap from the audience)
[Begins with P] No.
Anything to do with war?
Anti-vaxers?
[warlike] Not really
[antiva] Nope
Do they steal something physical?
[Forth from his den to steal he stole,
His bag full of clink he clunk
And many a wicked smile he smole
And many a wink he wunk.
—How the Thief Thove] No.
(this space intentionally left blank)
Your poem led me to this curious issue of an old magazine. I cannot be sure if it is genuine or a complete invention. There are many places on the web where the poem can be found in various versions, but "How the Thief Thove" gets just this one hit.
Those thivin' thieves
My version was from a comic miscellany (Presto!) collected by Peter Dickinson, pub. 1975, Hutchinson. An old book I'm very fond of.
Thovery
A Google search for "smole wunk" turns up a bunch of variants, including in the Transcript of Proceedings of the National Railway Labour Panel Emergency Board.
Identity theft?
That all seems like a promising idea for the next V Difficult Poems on the other side.
[identity], No, they not thivs
Do these people enjoy political power?
[power] Nope.
Squatters?
[Squatters] No, more likely to be slouchers
Transportation?
[Transportation] No.
Hackers?
[Hackers] A clever guess, but no.
Julian Assange?
[Assange] Nuh uh.
Gizza Clue?
Do they cheat in some game or competition?
[Cheaters] No
[Clue] Hm, well, as I said, the AOTC refers to a singular generic specimen. And it's never been illegal to be one - there'd be no way to enforce it
Is employment a factor?
[Employment] No, it's isn't.
Does wealth come into it?
[Wealth] Nope.
Cloning?
Apologies if we've asked already. Can't be bothered to scroll back
[Clones] No. That's super cold.
Is there something you have to wear to become one of these?
[Wearables] No. Ordinary clothes are fine
Is sitting down a requirement to be this?
[Sitting] No, you don't need to be sat.
Profiteering?
[Profiteers] No. Warmer than cloning, but no.
Communism?
Identity Thief?
Talking to myself now :-)
[ID Teef] No. In terms of warmness that's between cloning and profiteering, but all three are dead cold.
[Commies] No.
Does this apply to a particular country or region?
Bismarck did Identity theft some weeks ago, too.
[National or regional?] No, either way.
Not UK was identified some time ago. Is this 'thing' American?
Queue jumpers?
[USAnian] No, not very American either
[Queue jumpers] No.
Ghosts?
In order to be the AOTC, do they create something?
[Ghosts] No.
[Creators] No.
Recrap
We seek a single word that describes a human, with a link to crime, but no specific crime we have yet been able to come up with - indeed these people, of whom a few are alive at the moment, cannot be accused of a crime themselves as there is no enforcing it. Whatever it is they are engaged in, it was more prevalent after 1900, and it has a psychological side to it. Not linked to a country, doesn't begin with P, and the type of person sought is less delectable than Mith himself.
on balance, this gets the score "1/10. See me after class with your parents, guardians, house pets and anybody else I can shout at and blame."
Yeah, pretty good summary
I think "I give up" should be the 'winning' move, and maybe we should give this game a rest. This thing is nowhere near as obscure as some of the stuff the community has solved without even breaking sweat. We successfully got 'whatnot' for one.

Do you give up?

Is it people who give up rather than persevering?
[Givers-up] No... but they are rarely among life's winners.
Toffs?
Chavs?
[Toffs] No
[Chavs] No – but that's worth some applause
Welfare scroungers?
Spivs? Barflies?
[Scroungers] No, but a few more claps
[Spivs] No
[Barflies] No
Black marketeers?
[black marketeers] No - spivs basically are black marketeers, aren't they?
Oiks
Does this word begin with the letter G?
The underclass?
[Oiks] Yes, another smattering
['G-'] Nope
[Underclass] No
Do these people have the vote (if of age)?
Are they mostly male?
Beggars?
Zombies?
Dwarfs?
[Voters, Male] Yes and yes
[Beggars, Zombies, Dwarves] No
Eunuchs?
Do they usually have a fixed abode?
[Eunuchs?!] No. That's a real left-field guess. As cold as clones.
[Of fixed abode] Yes, usually.
Kings?
Are they recognisable at sight?
[Kings] No
[On sight] No. It's a bit like burglars. They might be supposed to wear a black and white stripey top and a mask, and carry a big sack with SWAG written on it, but uniform standards are dreadfully lax these days.
Incels?
[Incels] No, not that lame. [Audience consider clapping, then decide not]
Lottery winners? Does religion come into it?
People who don’t pay their library fines?
[Lottery] no
[Religion] no
[Non-payment] No, as if they'd ever read a book
Is this to do with them being unedicated?
Or uneducated?
[Non-edicated] Yes. A bit stereotypical, but yes.
Another summary. They are: human, linked to crime in a general way, some (more than five) alive today and some not, disreputable, generally male, uneducated, usually of fixed abode, unlikely to read a book, eligible to vote, oiks, a one-word answer in the singular, linked by a psychological characteristic, more numerous after 1900.

They are not (as a defining characteristic): flat-earthers, musical, honest politicians, a sports team, all having the same name, competition winners, Prime Ministers, US Presidents, members of a profession, connected to TV or radio, to do with hats, inhabitants of a small remote place, members of a group one must apply to, linked to a country, linked by a physical characteristic, age-related, sport-related, fans of something, royalty, the Illuminati, Centenarians, astronauts, related to hair, stunt-men, on death row, on parole, the Krays, organised crime, transport-related, kleptomaniacs, cannibals, related to fraud, related to treason, victims of crime, trespassers, to do with war, anti-vaxxers, beginning with P, beginning with G, hackers, Julian Assange, clones, wearers of a uniform, identity thieves, toffs, chavs (applause), welfare scroungers (applause), spivs, barflies, black marketeers, oiks, the underclass, beggars, zombies, dwarves, eunuchs, kings, ghosts, queue jumpers, creators of anything, recognisable at sight, lottery winners, related to religion, derelict about library fines.

Bouncers?
Excellent summary, worth a clap
Yes! However I see 'oiks' in both the am and the isn't sections. They're oikish individuals. But 'oik' is not the AOTC.
[Bouncers] No. But that's also worth a clap. And I suppose some of them might be bouncers.
The unemployed?
A pejorative term?
[Unemployed] Generally yes. Not always officially employed, that's for sure.
[Prejorative] Yes, I suppose. Milder even than oik though.
If there is a term for the Trotters out of Only Fools and Horses, would that be close?
'Cos I'm sure there is one but I can't put my finger on it.
['Entrepreneurs', of course] And no. [Audience titters].
Class-based?
Wide boys?
(Although "according to the Oxford English Dictionary it is synonymous with spiv".)
Charlatans?
Troll?
[Classy] Yes. But not classy.
[Wide] No.
[Charlatanny] No.
[Trolley] No. [A small ripple]
Yob?
[Yob] No. But getting warm at last
Hooligans (a.k.a. hoolies, hooks, or hoods)?
[Hooligans] No. Maybe a smidge warmer?
Oafs?
The only other words I can think of are all rather sweary - so it's probably best I withdraw from the chase ;^)
Would members of this class deny their membership of it?
[Oafs] No. A bit colder with oafs.
[Sweary] No, it's not sweary. After all, this is a family show. :-)
[Denial] Yes, I think most would. Some probably revel in it, but even then self-awareness is not high on the list for these types.
Is some sort of bigotry involved?
Conected wth the military?
Working class?
Do they go around in gangs?
Any connection to public schools?
[Bigots] No, not particularly
[Military] No, not especially
[Working class] Yes, for a very broad definition of 'working'
[Gangs] No, not 'gangs'
[Public schools] No. Well, almost never.
Often under the influence of some drug or other?
The riff-raff?
The Hoi-Poloi?
[druggies] No.
[riff-raff] No. That's one of the closest guesses yet though. [Audience sniggers]
[hoi-poloi] No.
Pikies?
Migrant workers?
Muggers?
[pikies] No
[migrants] no
[muggers] no, but a stronger ripple for that one
Does it begin with R,S or T?
[R,S,T] Yes. :-)
Reprobates?
Travelling folk?
[Reprobates] Yes.
[Travellers] No.
Recidivists?
Teenage herberts?
Drop-outs? Hippies?
[Recidiv] No. Well, a few might be
[Herberts] No.
[Dropouts] No. Again, a few might be.
[Hippies] Pah! No.
Blackmailers?
Forget blackmailers, that doesn't pass the no-apparent crime test.
Ruffian?
Urchins?
[Rrrrruff!] Yes! Boolbar wins. Audience sensation - oh wait, most of them have died of old age. I did say plural, but honestly, I'll assume that was just a typo.
Wait - checking back, no I didn't, I chose a singular generic specimen. Boolbar wins double points for being righter than the wally who set this one.
Oh blimey! I'd better quickly think of something. How about ANIMAL (with a vague link to vegetable and mineral for some parts of the world and for that matter vegetable and abstract as well, but let's ignore all that and stick with the basic ANIMAL or we'll be here all day year.)
Is it found on a coat of arms anywhere?
[Arms] Yes, I've swiftly found one on Google.
Popularly thought to represent a country?
Living in the sea?
Four-legged?
This should be quick...
[Country] I would suspect a lot people would think of this animal if one country was mentioned.
[Sea] Mainly.
[Four] No.
dolphin?
Does it have a shell?
The Galápagos tortoise?
A capillary-challenged eagle?
A whale?
Just Say No.
[Dolphin] No
[Shell] No
[That Tortoise] No
[That Eagle] No
[Whale] No
Is it a bird?
Could you lift one of these?
[Birdy] Yes!
[Lifty] Personally I could lift most of them, but I'd draw the line at the larger ones.
A grouse?
A penguin?
[Grouse] The bird rather than a grumbly person? No.
[Penguin] Yes! That's the one. I said it would be quick.

Do p-p-pick up this baton made out of chocolate covered biscuit and I can go and have a nice nap.

We apologise for the temporary interruption to transmission. Normal service has now been resumed.

I need to pay more attention!

This is ABSTRACT, although under another interpretation it is MINERAL
Hidden textconceivably with some non-mineral elements, but these would be negligible
A mountain (mythical or real)?
Mountain? No. *a tiny smattering of applause from the most generous members of the audience*
A geological concept?
A precious metal?
Geological? No.
Precious metal? No.
Is it an effect of animal work?
A figurative phrase or saying?
Effect of animal work? Yes.
Figurative phrase? No.
Made by mammal(s)?
A route or path of some kind?
Made by mammals? Yes.
Route or path? No.
I should perhaps clarify that my answer to Superman's question took "animal" in the AVMA sense of the term.
Made by people?
Reading between the line of CdM's clarification.
A butter mountain?
Made by people? Yes
Butter mountain? No.
An object of veneration?
A sculpture?
Object of veneration? No (except maybe in a narrow and almost certainly misleading sense... so forget I said anything).
Sculpture? No.
An award?
An artefact of modern civilisation?
Does it begin with P?
The Anthropocene?
Now it starts to get interesting…
Award? No.
Artefact of modern civilisation. *applause* In the abstract sense, the best answer is No (though a case can be made for Yes; it’s a question of perspective). In the mineral sense, most definitely Yes.
Begin with P? No—at least not any more.
Anthropocene? No.
The scrap-heap of history?
The Statue of Liberty?
Is it rubbish?
A painting of Mount Fuji?
Scrap-heap of history? No.
Statue of Liberty? No.
Rubbish? No.
A painting of Mount Fuji? No.
Did it have a western name which is no longer used?
Ayers Rock/Uluru, for example.
The Piltdown Man?
Obsolete western nomenclature? No.
Piltdown Man? No.
Forget about the mountain. The audience were too enthusiastic.
Is there just one of it?
Another interesting question.
Unique? Yes is clearly the best answer. In the mineral sense, definitely. In the abstract sense, also Yes—except, from a certain perspective, No.
Is it associated with a particular nation?
Is it an unintentional creation of some kind?
Does it have a flag?
Associated with a particular nation? In the mineral sense, Yes. In the abstract sense, No.
Unintentional creation? (*audience laughter*) No.
Does it have a flag? No.
Is the mineral gold?
A newly-formed island?
Gold? No. (It’s conceivable there’s some small amount involved, I suppose, but even if so, it wouldn’t be a helpful line of enquiry.)
New island? No.
Did the abstract sense exist before the mineral sense?
Metal?
Transuranic?
Abstract sense prior to Mineral? Yes.
Metal? In part, Yes.
Transuranic? No.
Is it wearable?
Does the abstract sense have to do with a work of fiction?
Wearable? *much mirth in the audience* No.
Connected to work of fiction? No.
Anything to do with the hydrocarbon industry?
To do with hydrocarbon industry? No. (There are surely some connections of some sort in the mineral sense (“anything to do with” is a vague phrase), but there’s no connection I am aware of that would be helpful or useful.)
Is there just one of the mineral thing?
Just one of mineral thing? You already asked that! Yes.
Is the physical thing some kind of token that represents the abstract thing?
Some kind of tokeny representation? No. Because I'm feeling really generous, I will tell you that the physical thing is the current instantiation of the abstract thing.
Is it, by definition, the X-est Y in the world, for some X and Y?
X-est Y? Yes *sustained applause*
The biggest pile of crap the world has ever seen?
The US Republican Party? No.
Is it the tallest Y?
Tallest Y? Y! *applause*
The tallest building?
Yes! The AOTC is “The tallest building in the world” which of course has had, and will have many specific instantiations.

I don’t seem to have a baton, but here’s a lightning conductor instead.
The next is a straightforward MINERAL.
Is the material modified by man?
Yes, it is modified by man.
Is it unique?
But is it art?
[CdM] It is unique.
[Tuj] Not a work of art.(A few grumbles in the audience)
Is it a feat of engineering?
[SM] (applause) It is a feat of engineering.
In North America?
(some chuckling in the audience) It is not in North America.
A bridge?
[Rosie] Not a bridge.
Is it fixed in one location?
(The audience are alert to hear how the chair handles this tricky question.)
[B] On balance, the least misleading answer is that yes, it is fixed in one location.
Is it terrestrial?
[SM] (applause) It is not terrestrial.
It's not JWST again is it :-)
It is indeed. I hadn't realised I did that 2 years ago. But some of the answers have changed since then! I'm afraid this baton has been punctured by several micrometeoroids, but it's still almost as good as new.
Well I feel like doing a MINERAL as well.
It’s not JWST again, is it?
Is it terrestrial?
I'm not trying to do the last game's questions in reverse. :)
JWST loop averted
[JWST] I would hope that only a bunch of the uttermost lunatics could manage to get caught in a loop in a game of AVMA.

... So, um, I suppose I should double-check then. (Double-checks AOTC) Nope. Definitely not the JWST. (Phew)

[terrestrial] Yes.

Is it fixed in one location?
oblig?
WTF is the JWST?
[fixed] No.

[Rosie] James Webb Space Telescope

A means of transport?
Jwst checking
[Transportation] No.
Is the material modified by man?
[man-modified] Yes.
Is there only one of it?
[Can there be only one?] No, there's loads
A drone?
Do you have at least one of these in your house or garden?
[drone] no
[in my house] yes, come to think of it.
A mobile phone?
[mobile] No. The oldest member of the audience peers farsightedly at their device and then claps, causing nonplusment among younger audience members
A remote control?
A pot? As in plants and cooking?
[Remote] No. Colder again
[Pot] No.
A ham radio device?
[Ham radio] No.
Did these exist in the year 1900?
[1900?] No, but in checking I was fascinated to discover that the fundamental discovery in use for the AOTC goes back to the late 1800s.
A metal detector?
Something powered by electricity?
[Metal detector] No.
[Electrickle] Yes.
A walkie-talkie?
[Walkie and/or talkie] No. The audience member, by the way, was just looking at an older-model mobile phone.
A hand tool?
[Hand tool] No, tenuously hand-related at best
An immobile phone?
[immobile] No. In fairness, the AOTC is not unheard-of on some older immobile phones.
An electrical component?
A loudspeaker?
An antenna?
First built 1888 by Hertz.
[Electrical component] Yes. (Claps from audience)
[loudspeaker, antenna] No and no. It took a long time before anyone found any application for the original discovery.
A battery charger?
[battery charger] No, not a battery charger. And can I just say I think it's disgraceful that we still keep chargers in such cruel and cramped conditions in this day and age?
Does it emit light?
A laser?
[emit?] No.
[laser] No.
A microphone?
A calculator?
[microphone] No
[calculator] No, (but a few more claps.)
A Leyden jar?
[jar] No. Too early.
A keyboard? With physical buttons?
A capacitor?
Quick consultation of the RS catalogue...
[keyboard] No.
[capacitor] No. I think it should be in there though.
A crystal radio?
Does it have any mechanically moving parts?
[crystal] No, but a clap or two.
[mechanically moving] No.
A movie prop?
An aerial?
[Props, aerials] No for both, and audience boos for getting colder.
Does it have a visual function?
Solid state semiconductoion (aka rectification)?
[Visual] Yes. [Back from boos to strong claps]
[rectification] No.
A liquid crystal display?
Raak wins!
[LCD] YES, that's the bunny.
I shall now ceremoniously hand over this thin grey-green rectangle with circuitry hanging from it, bearing an ancient congratulatory message: 'PC LOAD LETTER'.
Raak is going to choose the James Webb Space Telescope
I can tell...
I think Raak has been swallowed up by one of the Black Holes discovered by the JWST.
Let’s have another MINERAL. I can’t be sure that someone, perhaps even me, has not done this one before, but it’s not the JWST.
Doeas
Does it have a scientific application?
Dunno what went wrong there.
Is it a manufactured object?
[R] There is no known scientific application.
[SM] Not manufactured.
Stone?
Terrestrial?
[S] Not stone.
[SM] Non-terrestrial. At least, not specifically terrestrial.
Can you lift it?
[R] You cannot lift it.
Is there more than one of these things?
[S] It is not a countable sort of thing.
Is it the universe?
[SM] Not the universe. (There's exactly one of those, by definition.)
Is it an abstract concept?
[R] That could be argued either way, but for the sake of definiteness I'll say it is not an abstract concept.
The atmosphere?
[R] Not the atmosphere.
The ocean?
[R] Not the ocean. Non-(specifically)-terrestrial.
Related to planetary bodies?
Is it matter in one if the four basic forms?
[SM] Not related to planetary bodies.
[B] I’m not sure what the fourth basic form would be (plasma? neutronium? a black hole?), but this is not any form of matter.
Is it a form of energy?
[C] applause! It is a form of energy.
Sunshine?
[R] Not sunshine.
Dark energy?
Is motion involved?
Motion, I said, not motions.
[Rosie] Nobody knows, because...
[Radox] It is Dark Energy. Have this invisible baton that no-one is sure exists.
Energized
That was rather enjoyable, I'm not sure anyone foresaw that as being a property of Dark Energy. I am hesitating between something easy and something ridiculously specific. Therefore MINERAL is indicated, and if you hear a mysterious voice you should consult a doctor.
Is it ridiculously specific?
Terrestrial?
Is it made of glass?
Is it definitely known to exist (or have existed)?
[CdM] Yes. Not the James Webb Space Telescope, more like the receiver of the high gain antenna on the James Webb Space Telescope. Once you are getting close to this object, it will be fairly straightforward to get to the details (famous last words). And it's nothing to do with the James Webb Space Telescope.
[Boolbar] Yes.
[Tuj] No.
[Raak] It exists, has existed, and all bets are that it will exist for a bit longer.
The diagonal line forming the central part of the "N" on the Willie Rushton plaque at Mornington Crescent station?
ex-Great Western suburban 2-6-2 tank locomotive no. 6106?
It is a component of a man-made device?
Is it a doohickey?
[Tuj] No. Sadly.
[Rosie] No. Nothing to do with trains.
[Raak] It is part of something that was made by man, but hardly qualifies as a 'device'.
[Simons Mith] No. Nothing to doo with hickeys.
Is the capstone of a pyramid?
Are there more than one of this?
Is it a single colour?
Trying to be an increment more useful :)
One of the nine detectors that have been constructed at the Large Hadron Collider?
The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God?
[SimonsMith] No.
[Boolbar] There are, yes.
[Tuj] Pretty much, yes.
[Chalky] No. Hint: Far too recent.
[Raak] Nor isn't it.
Is it a weapon?
Are they found on multiple continents?
Are they all smaller than a toaster?
Related to architecture?
[Rosie] No.
[Tuj] No.
[CdM] No. It is larger than the entry for "largest toaster" in the Guinness Book of Records.
[Raak] Yes! (A collective mutter breaks out in the audience.)
Is this thing in the UK?
A castle ruin?
[Superman] Yes.
[Rosie] No.
Something to do with a bridge?
Ancient?
Made of stone?
Stonehenge?
[Boolbar] No.
[Simons Mith] Let's say in the last millennium.
[Raak] Yes!
[Rosie] No.
Concrete cows?
Related to ecclesiastical architecture?
[Simons Mith] No. But that would have been excellent had I thought of them.
[Raak] Yes! Raak wins three exclamation marks in a row and can now go for the big prize.
Bell towers?
A ruined abbey?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] No.
Is it visible inside the church?
Are they in or part of a single building?
Stained glass?
[Raak] Yes!
[Tuj] Yes!
[Simons] No.
A rood screen?
The Tomb of the Unknown Warrior?
Is the church in question in England?
A font?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
[CdM] Yes!
[Bismarck] No.
Are all of them in a single church?
The spandrels on the northern side of the nave of the Church of St Peter and St Paul, Lavenham?
[CdM] Awww. I didn't even know St Peter and St Paul was dog-friendly.
Raak] Yes! (These things do exist in many churches, but the one I'm thinking of is only in the one church.)
[CdM] No. But definitely in the right sort of ballpark.
In London?
A Cheshire Cat?
An entrance or arch?
A Gargoyle?
[Raak] No.
[SimonsMith] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Chalky] No.
Is the church actually a cathedral?
A pipe organ?
(Please assume the above is in italics.)
Bespoke embroidered hassocks?
I'm sure there's some church that has done something unique with its hassocks
A great dome?
[Being more sensible again]
A pulpit?
[Boolbar] No.
[CdM] Yes!
[Simons Mith] No.
[Raak] No.
Is the church Durham Cathedral?
[SM] I don’t think Great Domes are allowed into St Peter’s and St Paul’s.
[Raak] Yes! Out of all the cathedrals, why did you go for that one?
The Lego model of Durham Cathedral contained in Durham Cathedral?
Pure chance. I am also modestly ahead on all the lottery tickets I have ever bought.
A particular bible?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
Durham Cathedral's World Heritage Marker?
A collection box?
You get those everywhere ;-)
Is there a Harry Potter connection?
Is this thing specific to Durham Cathedral?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Bismarck] Yes! At least in the sense of the AOTC, which while all cathedrals have them to my knowledge, Durham's are unique, and don't forget the answer is quite specific.
The highest cathedra in Christendom?
Part of a tomb?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
Is it in the nave?
[Bismarck] Yes!
The tomb of a saint?
Something to do with the floor?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
I'm pretty stumped here. Am resisting Wikipedia though
There aren't that many things that you would find in the nave of a cathedral, Durham's are unique and there's a specific bit of one of them which is the answer on the card. Start with the obvious!
Something to do with the roof?
The first structural use of the pointed arch?
Not the answer
A sudden thought struck me - but it's Ely Cathedral that has a particular notable table in its nave at the moment.
1
1
555
1
555
1
555
1
555
[Boolbar] ...No.
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] Hint : not movable.
[1] No.
Since this is supposed to be a quite specific thing, the fortieth flagstone counting from the end?
Something to do with pillars?
Skateboard ramps?
It's a long shot, but I love the mental image of a bishop in full regalia doing an ollie
[Bismarck] No. Nice try, though.
[Boolbar] Yes! A verse of Hymn 116 breaks out in the audience.
[Simons Mith] No. Although there was that Bishop of Durham who might well have tried it had it been suggested.
They're carved, them pillars, is that it?
Is it a single one of the pillars?
[Bismarck] Yes! That is part of it.
[Raak] Yes! It is a part of that, too.
if you have never been to Durham Cathedral, then go now. If this is not possible, I don't suppose anybody would object to Googling some of the images of the pillars.
And...so...
Something to do with what material is used?
[Boolbar] No. Try guessing which pillar.
The fourth one on the right?
[CdM] No. But you're very close.
The fourth one on the left?
SimonsMith - Not that one. Hint: on the right.
Is it the way a pillar is carved?
[Boolbar] That is also an acceptable way of identifying the AOTC.
The fourth one on the left, coming from the other direction?
That wasn't quite as easy to work out as one might think. So
[CdM] Yes!
And I declare that to be the answer. Take this sculpted sandstone baton and go forth!
Congrats to CdM.
Is that pillar called the apprentice column? I have discovered a lot about Durham Cathedral (very educational this game) but that fact eluded me.
Apprenting
Yes, that's it. Luckily I stopped at ridiculously detailed answer and didn't go for asking for that error, or we'd still be here!
Whew.
Let’s follow that with a nice easy VEGETABLE
Does it rhyme with 'parrot'?
Wood?
Would it fit in my fridge?
Is it unique?
Rhymes with parrot? No. (Nor does it rhyme with "faddish", "holly flower", or "dead Babbage")
Wood? No.
Fridgeable? Yes.
Unique? No.
Does it have three syllables?
Trisyllabic? Yes!
Is it a fruit?
Is it perishable?
Does it having writing on it?
Is its Scrabble score > 15 ?
Ignoring double and triple word scores, but counting blanks as zero if there aren't enough of the right letters in a standard Scrabble set, and assuming a 50 point bonus for 8 letters or greater.
Obviously a word not valid in Scrabble scores zero
Fruit? No.
Perishable? Yes—but perhaps not especially so.
Inscribed? No.
Scrabble >15? According to the rules you specified, Yes.

A few clarifications/elaborations. I should have noted that there is usually a small MINERAL component and there can be an ANIMAL component. There is also a bisyllabic version of the AOTC (which would not score >15 in scrabble).
A processed food product?
Is a sport involved?
Is it commonly rectangular?
Processed food product? Yes (at least by the broad definition of "processed").
Sport involved? No.
Rectangular? ( a little laughter from the easily amused members of the audience ) No.
Is it green?
Amber?
Would it be found in the supermarket aisle where the crisps are?
Green? I hope not.
Amber? Not exactly, but that's in the right part of the spectrum.
Found with crisps? Interesting question. Sometimes, but it might also be found elsewhere.
Dried bananas?
Fizzy?
Dried bananas? No.
Fizzy? No.
Peanuts?
Peanuts? No.
Something you spread on bread and butter?
Opensandwichable? No.
Is it a rigid solid?
Is it a rhizome?
Is it spicy?
A crisp?
Does it have a mole in it?
Rigid solid? Solid—Yes. Rigid—It depends
Rhizome? No.
Spicy? Sometimes.
Crisp? No. (but a smattering of applause)
Moley? No.
Potato based?
Is the mineral salt?
Potato-based? No.
Salt? Salt is a very common ingredient. There might also be another mineral component, although it appears to be less common. (The possible ANIMAL component that I mentioned seems to be very unusual and is probably best ignored.)
(Also, in my answer to the "crisps" question, I said it might also be found elsewhere. That should not be understood to mean that the crisps aisle is the most likely place to find it in the supermarket.)
Crumpets?
As opposed to crumpet
Biscuit like?
Is more than one vegetable involved?
Crumpets? No.
Biscuit like? Um. Depends which dimension of buiscuitness you’re thinking about. I’ll say more No than yes.
More than one vegetable? Possibly, but the AOTC has one main distinctive vegetable ingredient.
Made from rice?
Rice-based? No.
Does it go hard when it's stale?
Bread?
Hard when stale? *audience murmurs in appreciation of the question* No.
Bread? See previous answer.
Is this edible in its natural form?
Made from a legume?
Originally Mesoamerican?
Do Kellogg's make a version?
Edible in natural form? Yes, technically.
Made from a legume? Yes.
Mesoamerican? No.
Made by Kellogg's? I'm pretty sure the answer is No.
Made from chick peas?
Baked beans?
A beanburger?
Chick peas? No.
Baked beans? No.
Beanburger? No.
Erratum: I have always identified the AOTC with one particular legume that has not yet been mentioned. However, further research reveals that there are variants, including the possibility of making the AOTC with chick peas.
Well now I can think of a two syllable word, but not the three.
Is the AOTC tofu-related?
Also, TIalsoL about Burmese chickpea tofu.
A waffle?
Pesto?
Soybeanish? No.
Waffle? No.
Pesto? No.
Poppadoms?
Lentil based?
A Poppadom (just one, I'm afraid) is indeed the AOTC! (So, yes, lentil-based). No one asked the P question. I and the audience were very taken with the fact that a poppadom actually goes soft when stale.

Have this rather fragile disc-shaped bato— erm, have these crumbs.
Does it -
Ah, too late, sorry.
Hmm. Thought of an ABSTRACT last night.
Begin with 'P'?
First mover.
Does it end with a 'P'?
At my age most things end with a 'p' at night.
Is it an -ism?
[P----P] No to both ends
[ism] No
A dream?
Is it the absence of something?
Is it the presence of nothing?
[Privatives, vaccuum] [No and nope]
[dreaming] Also no
Is the AOTC a single word?
Thought?
[unmarried word] yes
[thought] No.
Logic?
Could it exist in the absence of life?
[Logic] No
[Post-universal extinction] Yes.
Mathematical?
Inclement weather of some sort?
[Mathematical, weather] No twice.
Artistic?
[Artistic] ... Yes.
Beauty?
A colour?
[Beauty, colour] No and no.
Connected to music?
[Muscial] No...
A natural creation?
[Natural] No.
Is it something observable?
[Observable] Yes. [I did change my mind about this answer, but on reflection I decided you would have to narrow the definition of 'observable' significantly before it no longer fitted.]
A behaviour?
An instinct?
[Behaviour, instinct] No, you're all getting colder again.
When were we warm?
[Chalky] For me, some time around last September.
Is it spatially located?
[Spatial] No, not especially.
Would it exist if no-one were there to think of it?
[thoughtless existence] yes, I think
Entropy?
Aesthetic?
[Entropy] no
[Aesthetic] yes, but isn't that repetition?
A law of nature?
Recap 1
Artistic, observable, concept that is universal. Not an ism, nor related to maths/physics, seems unrelated to a being or personality.
Photosynthesis?
[legal, photonic] No and no.
[recap] Yes, pretty much.
Beauty?
Do you embody this?
[Radox] I see your pessimistic "1" ;)
Would it exist if the Earth and all its contents did not exist?
[Beatty] No.
[Tuj, embodiment] Do people embody it? No. If you meant in a broader sense, then maybe yes but you'll have to clarify.
[Independent of Earth's existence] No. I suppose it could maybe arise independent of Earth, but based on current knowledge I can only give a firm no.
A view?
[Hygge] Cute, but no.
[Views, whether vistas or opinions] No
Is it something observable using the sense of sight?
Is it an extreme?
[Extreme] No
[Observable using sight] No. I've been uncertain about the best answer to that for several days.
Would it be observable using a sensor for some other range of electromagnetic radiation?
Evil?
[Observable in EM] No.
[Evil] No.
Is it a sound?
Being foreign?
[Sounds] Yes (applause) Now you're getting somewhere...
[Furrin] Nah.
The Last Trump?
That riff from Also Sprach Zarathustra?
[Any number of Trump] Ingenious, but no.
[Also Sprach] Also no
Is the sound a song?
Is it a sound that most of us are likely to have heard?
It's an observable artistic sound which is unconnected to music. It's aesthetic, and not a natural creation, yet could exist in the absence of life and without anyone to think about it.
The Music of the Spheres?
Is it recorded on the Voyager discs, currently somewhere beyond Pluto?
Traffic noise?
A sound made by a fluid?
Zounds!
[Omnes] No. CdM gets a smattering, but even amongst this erudite crowd I can't see many of us having heard the AOTC. Still, I am of a STEM bent, and who knows what perversions students of, say, English get up to in private.
On second thoughts, I said "having heard the AOTC". Slightly better phrasing would have been "having heard an AOTC".
The sound of a tree falling, when there is no-one there to hear?
Is the sound recorded?
I remember in primary school I had a teacher who had a really old wax cylinder gramophone and once played a recording of Tennyson himself reading the "Charge of the Light Brigade".
[tree falling] No.
[audio recording] No. (A borderline answer, for the same reasons as whether it was sight-observable)
Is it artistic as a sound _qua_ sound?
The sound of one hand clapping?
[Artistic as a sound] Yes.
[One hand] No, too Zen
The sound of Raak hammering the taiko?
So I'm going for the double: is this a memory of a sound?
Is it known when this sound first occurred?
Over two months, better pull our socks up!
[taiko] No (Wish I'd thought of that as a q.)
[memory] Good guess, but no. (That too)
[known] Yes, actually. (Well, there's the usual scholarly quibbling)
An echo?
Is this sound only speech?
[Echo] No.
[Speech eech eech eech] No, more than speech.
The Big Bang?
Is it in a specific language?
Please ignore "in" of that's a better question...
[Bang] No
[Specific language] No. Trivia: The first one was in French, though
Is this "My Way", originally recorded as "Comme d'habitude"?
Since elapsed time is greater than a certain amount since the last proposition: is it anything to do with national anthems?
[Bismarck] No, twice. It's not musical
Something to do with recording sounds?
Is the sound made by a human?
[recordings] No
[human-made] Yes. At least, I don't think ChatGPT has had a go, yet
Is it linked to a specific occasion?
Summary:

Via negativa:
Does not end with a P.
Not an ism.
Not a dream.
Not the absence of something.
Not the presence of nothing.
Not thought.
Not logic.
Not mathematical.
Not bad weather.
Not beauty.
Not a colour.
Not connected to music... (those look like significant dots)
Not a natural creation.
Not a behaviour.
Not an instinct.
Not spatially located.
Not entropy.
Not a law of nature.
Not photosynthesis.
Not embodied by people.
Not independent of Earth's existence.
Not hygge.
Not a view (whether vista or opinion).
Not observable with sight.
Not an extreme.
Not observable by electromagnetic radiation.
Not evil.
Not being foreign.
Not the last trump
Not the 2001 theme.
Not a song.
Not a sound that most of us are likely to have heard.
Not the music of the sphere.
Not on the Voyager discs.
Not traffic noise.
Not a sound made by a fluid.
Not the sound of an unheard falling tree.
Not an audio recording.
Not the sound of one hand clapping.
Not taiko.
Not the memory of a sound.
Not an echo.
Not only speech.
Not the Big Bang.
Not in a specific language. (But the first one was in French.)
Not to do with national anthems.

Via positiva:
Is a single word.
Could exist in the absence of life.
Artistic.
Observable.
Would exist if no-one were there to think of it.
Aesthetic.
A sound! (The first real progress.)
An artistic sound.
A sound made by a human.

And not "My Way", originally recorded as "Comme d'habitude".
Does this sound come from a human vocal tract?
[Occasional] No.
[Human voice] Yes, it would do.
Is it the sound of someone imitating something?
Inarticulate?
[Imitation] No.
[Inarticulate] No.
I hope no-one is finding this too frustrating. I find it interesting how close you got and yet the right path has still managed to slip through the gaps between questions.
Is it ceremonial?
Is it humorous?
[SM] Surely you're the one whose frustration limit is most tested?
But is it art?
One originally French word is proving difficult, bien sur.
[Ceremonial] No
[Humerus] No.
[Repetition!] Yes
So it is art, and I win!?
Is it to do with poetry?
Presuming that artistic is the same as art, and so the puzzle continues. Now which of the Nine Arts could be referred to?
[winner?] No, but suddenly you're on the right lines
[Poetry] Yes. It's poetry. Claps and cheers from the audience
A sonnet?
Dies the Morniverse contain examples?
[Sonnet] No, but more claps
[Morniversal examples] No, not as far as I know. But I wouldn't put my shirt on it, because I haven't followed the poetry games very closely. It's possible.
Does it have a specific number of lines?
[Lines] Yes! Strong applause
Is the name of this form of poetry French?
Does it figure on this list?
[Two more yeses] Si and Oui.
A lai?
[Lai?] Non.
Was the first example composed before the 19th century?
A triolet?
[Pre-19th C] Bien sur
[Triolet] Non
A rondeau?
[rondeau, more like nondeau] Guess again.
Villanelle?
Raak did introduce this into the Morniverse over on Orange.
Bismarck has it
Villanelle is the right answer!

Sorry to be inadvertently misleading about there being Morniversal examples. I didn't know that had been done.
In lieu of a baton I shall pass over this lovely scroll sealed with wax.

*claps, cheers, generally goes wild*
Winning
Sorry about the delay, I had to go and lie down in a darkened room for the excitement to wear off. Unscrolling the scroll, I find this
MINERAL
concept for your delight. At least in the AVMA scheme of things, M seems the most appropriate: it might have bits of all of them.
Metalic?
Is it a Char D1 French light tank?
Is it fictional?
Is there just one of it?
And so it begins, unknowing...
[Software] Yes, largely so.
[Simons Mith] Not a French light tank of any kind. But a little bit warm.
[Boolbar] No, there is surely nothing more real.
[Raak] No, there are lots.
Something military?
Functional?
Would I have seen one frequently?
What roads cerebral will be taken...
[Raak] Not military. There may be military versions, but you won't find any book called Jane's Whatever-this-is.
[Chalky] What isn't?
[Radox] I'm pretty sure you're familiar with this.
A bicycle?
A steam locomotive?
Worth a shout even at the expense of cruel mockery.
Has it wheels?
Is it a machine?
In the quest, for only you
[Simons Mith] No.
[Rosie] No.
[Tuj] Yes.
[Raak] Yes.
It is a means of transport?
In the AVMA scheme of things is Metal always 'functional'?
Can comprehend the unseen way...
[Raak] Yes. It's a machine with wheels.
[Chalky] Yes. Mineral, like Animal, Vegetable and Abstract, all have functions.
Does it transport people?
Has it an engine?
In words and images unthought...
[Chalky] Yes.
[Tuj] Yes, it is motorised.
Is it most gregarius?
Is it normally able to transport at least 10 people at a time?
To follow, lead or travel there...
[Simons Mith] Not sure what that means.
[Raak] After thought, yes, though it poses some uncomfortable questions.
An escooter?
A motor-bike and sidecar?
A Tesla?
Does it have a reverse gear?
To unreal phantomatic places ...
[Software] Not an electric scooter.
[Rosie] Not a motorbike with sidecar.
[Radox The Green] Not a Tesla.
[Tuj] !seY
Does it run on rails?
Transport for the disabled/mobility impaired?
Fork lift truck
Has it been in a movie chase scene?
Does it begin with P?
Where transports delightfully await...
[Raak] Not rail guided.
[Chalky] I hope not.
[Software] Not a forklift.
[Simons Mith] Had to look it up, but Yes!
[Tuj] Sadly not, at least none of the common synonyms begin with P.
Was it able to achieve 0-60mph by 1970?
Does the machine stay in one location while moving people around?
[Boolbar] You've given me the idea, and now I want to see a movie with a chairlift chase in it!
Those lost and numb to ordinary love...
[Simons Mith] Difficult to say. On balance, No.
[Boolbar] No. Nice lateral thinking though.
Are these road legal?
A steam roller?
A light aircraft?
Though still the sea kisses the golden shore...
[Raak] Yes, very legal.
[Simons Mith] Not a steam roller.
[Rosie] No. A piece of three-dimensional thinking there.
Is it made by a particular marque?
Does it run on electricity?
A boat of some kind?
One of those special airport vehicles?
The Popemobile?
I really want to imagine that's been in a chase scene
With skies aflame in the sun rising..
[Tuj] No, there are many.
[Raak] As of today, yes.
[Rosie] Not aquatic.
[Superman] I think you'd find them in airports too, but they aren't specific to airports.
[Simons Mith] Not the Popemobile.
Is it larger than the average car?
Of an endless dawn awaking...
[Tuj] Yes it is.
A railway coach?
Diddly-dee, diddly-da.
Is it a Bagger 288?
I'm sure they're road-legal...
A low-loader?
Would you reject this heaven...
[Rosie] Not a railway coach.
[Simons Mith] Not a Bagger of any size.
[Raak] Not a lo-loader.
Does it primarily carry things other than people?
A vehicle transporter?
A cherry picker?
And still remain, and still remain?
[Raak] Yes, it does other things than carry people.
[Chalky] Not a transporter.
[Simons Mith] Not a cherry picker.
Is it for transporting fluids?
Dustcart?
End on the high note, fat lady.
[Raak] Not really, no.
[Simons Mith] I had "bin lorry", but "garbage truck" and "dustcart" have been judged equivalent by Mycroft. Therefore take this recycled and slightly smelly baton and proceed!
[Bismarck] Thanks very much! I had been wondering whether the lyrics you've been posting were clues.

I'm going to pick... another MINERAL

It might be about time to kill off this game and start a fresh one. It is ~40,000 moves. When I checked back for past repetitions my browser started to struggle.
A diamond?
A manufactured object?
[diamond] No.
[manufactured] No.
Unique?
[unique] Also no.
Is it mined?
Is it solid?
Does it begin with P?
[mined] No
[solid] No
[P] No
Is it a constituent of seawater?
Is it bigger than Battersea Power Station?
Is it safely potable?
reasonably, to the average person, say
[constituent] Yes
[station-sized] No
[potable] Yes
Water?
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