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AVMA Take 2
help
Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Related to farming?
Agricultural? No.
Are there several of these?
Are there several of these? Well, as my earlier answer to cfm suggests, it is debatable whether there is (or was) even one of these. But I will again answer with a qualified Yes.
Does this maybe building have religious significance?
Is it mythical?
BC?
Does it have a metaphorical meaning?
(as for 'Skid Row')
Religious significance? No.
Mythical? No.
BC? No.
Metaphorical? Interesting question. I think it's more concrete and not as obviously metaphorical as your example. As against that, the Wikipedia article on this does include a section entitled "The P__________ as Metaphor", so the answer is clearly Yes. (I was/am more aware of the literal meaning, but it is possible that others here are more aware of metaphorical senses; I don't know.)
A Panopticon?
The Poorhouse?
Yes! Following on my pantechnicon when I was last in the chair, this was Jeremy Bentham's revolutionary prison design that allows a single guard to observe all the prisoners. (It's still not clear what the single guard does when he observes all the prisoners rioting, mind you.)

*hands Raak a baton that, rather curiously, can be seen on all sides at once from a single vantage point*
MINERAL, with ANIMAL and ABSTRACT connections.
The Bastille?
Not the Bastille.
larger that the toaster unit?
Larger than a toaster.
Begins with a P?
Does not begin with P.
Is the mineral component largely or entirely metal?
[irach] Yes, mostly metal.
A precious metal?
Not precious.
Bigger than a phone box?
Unique?
Unique?
Er. Sorry. That was not a unique question.
A statue?
[GL] Smaller than a phone box.
[Twins] Unique.
[INJ] Not a statue.
A sculpture?
[CdM] Not a sculpture.
Does it have moving parts?
[INJ] No moving parts.
Man-made?
Found in a domestic environment?
Is the associated animal human?
[jim] Man-made.
[Chalky] Not found at home.
[INJ] The animal is human.
Associated with a single, specific individual?
[CdM] Not associated with a specific individual.
In Europe?
[Tuj] In Europe.
Of scientific significance?
[CdM] No scientific significance.
A pillar box?
[Software] Not a pillar box.
BTW, I've complained in the past that "ABSTRACT" is over-used, and I may have been guilty of that myself here. Pretty much everything has "abstract connections", and I don't think this is especially connected to the abstract. Just a unique object of non-precious metal, somewhere in Europe, with animal connections.
Smaller than a toaster?
[irach] (Still) bigger than a toaster.
Is the non-metal mineral part made of stone?
I'll include stony stuff like brick & concrete in that.
[INJ] Not stony.
In the UK?
[Tuj] In the UK!
A fountain?
Not a fountain.
Is this of historical importance?
In England?
It's Friday afternoon, I'm not up to thinking of original questions.
Is it partly constructed of wrought iron?
Is the non-metal mineral part glassy or crystalline?
Anything from a pane of glass to the Cullinan
[INJ] History has not yet spoken, but I expect the actual object will not be of historical significance.
[jim] In England at the moment.
[CdM] No wrought iron.
[INJ] No glass or crystals.
Olympic torch?
*riotous cheering as Software crosses the finishing line* To be precise, the "London 2012 Olympic Torch", but I doubt that anyone cares where the 2011 torch is now (see last but one answer to INJ). Have this gold medal embossed with the Tube map and stand on the podium, please, while the band plays the ISIHAC theme.
[Raak] Yeah. I can hardly remember a thing about the 2011 Olympics. (Excellent choice of subject, btw.)
How Many?
Just to clarify the 'unique' question - there will in fact be over 8000 olympic torches used in the torch relay - each bearer will have their own (which they can then buy). On the other hand, there is only one in the stadium. Mind you, I only found all that out today.
[INJ] I was going from this official page, which suggests there's just one.
[Raak] Yes - philosophically there's only one. However, to be mischievous, there's a picture on that page with 4 torches being held up. I also believe that on the route at any one time there will be 5 torches - one being carried and 4 in the support vehicles in case of malfunction, theft, vandalism, etc.
I think, however, that saying YES to the 'Unique?' question was probably the right answer, or the least confusing one, since at any one time only the torch being carried by a bearer is the Olympic Torch.
[Software] Come on in and stop this discussion - it's not really going anywhere;-)
Who? Me?
Well, then let's go for: ANIMAL with VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.
A draft animal?
Mammal?
Begins with K?
A Human?
Unique?
or unique-ish
The head of Eric Morecambe - Pipe Smoker of the Year 1970?
[Raak] No
[cfm] Yes
[Tuj] No
[GL] Yes
[INJ] Yes
[Chalks] Excellent attempt at a unique human, but No.
Is the unique human still alive?
A sportsperson?
Associated with the arts?
Are the connections associated with food?
Is this a two-word answer?
Thanks Softers - but I did not know it was either 'Unique' or 'Human' when I asked the question ...
... while I'm here, may I humble suggest that you reference the question itself when replying. I'm having to do a double look to see which 'yes' or 'no' applies to which question and I have little enough time to come in here and play as it is. Thanks.
[cfm] living homo sap - NO (BTW, your moniker reminds me of a long defunct IT company)
[Duj] sporty - NO
[INJ] arty farty - Best answer is probably YES
[Raak] nosh - NO
[Chalky] two wordy -YES (your wish is my command)
A male human?
Alive in the 20th century?
Related to the performing arts?
Involved with music?
Died before 1950?
Thanks.
[cfm] Male - YES
[INJ] Performer - YES
[jim] Musical - YES
[Chalks] 20th Century death - NO
But was he alive in the 20th century??
[CdM] Post Victorian - YES
Was he a member of a popular beat combo?
Michael Jackson?
Are the vegetable and mineral connections the instrument he played?
[INJ] Group member - NO
[cfm] Jacko - NO
[Raak] veg/min - YES
In the Western classical tradition?
Plays a wind instrument?
[INJ] Classical - NO
[cfm] windy - NO
Ray Charles?
Was he also a vocalist?
USian?
Guitar?
Died in the 70s?
[GL] Ray - NO
[CdM] Singer - NO slight murmuring from audience
[ING] Yank - NO
[Raak] Guitar - YES audience claps
[Tuj] Life on Mars departure - NO
Died in the last 5 years?
A classical guitarist?
Andrés Segovia?
Bert Weedon?
Author of 'Play MC in a Day'
You OK Softers?
Sorry for the delay, for some reason yesterday's answers disappeared into the ether
[GL] Recent deceased - YES
[Chalks] - Classical - NO audience stirs
[irach] Segovia - NO (see above)
[INJ] is on the money - YES! The late great Bert of the "learn in a day" fame. Even I tried that but never got past strumming.
[Chalks] - yes, thank you.

* Hands plectrum shaped baton over to INJ *

Why, thank you.
Moving on to ANIMAL and MINERAL or, for some points of view ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections
A human construct beginning with P that is bigger than a toaster but smaller than a phonebox and that has anarchosyndicalist connections?
The drinking horn of Sigismund of Luxemburg?
Associated with religion?
[CdM] - NO (apart from the bits that are YES)
[Raak] Horny Letzeburger? - NO
[cfm] Religious connection? - NO
Two word answer?
A human construct beginning with P?
(OK, OK, I'll break it down)
Bigger than a phone box?
[Chalky] Gimme 2? - NO.
[CdM]Pconstruct? - pNO
[GL] Exceeds phone box? - YES. *audience laughter*
A human construct that has no anarchosyndicalist connections?
Triangulating.
[CdM] A human construct that has no anarchosyndicalist connections? - NO (though I suppose that depends on your definition of 'a human construct')
Obfuscating
Is it descriptive of a group of people
Unique?
[Chalky] Describes a group of people? - NO, *a few murmurs in the audience*
[Tuj] Unique? - YES
Does the physical thing have a symbolic function?
[Raak] Physical/Symbolic - OK, the simple answer to your question is NO, but actually I probably need to clarify what I meant when setting this.
You can regard the words on the card as being purely physical with an animal element plus a mineral element (and I think that's the best way to approach it). However, within the constraints of the game I could quite reasonably say that this is an abstract thing, though still related to exactly the same animal and mineral elements - in either case if you get them, you have the answer. Hope that helps.
Bigger than your typical two-up-two-down?
[Raak] Exceeds a house? - Oh YES
Bigger than a city?
Is the animal human?
Is it in a specific country?
Some assumptions building up...
[GL] Exceeds a city? - YES
[Raak] Human animal? - YES and NO (more YES than NO)
[Tuj] Specific Country? - NO
Is this a well-known phrase or saying?
Bigger than Wales?
[Chalky] Saying? - NO
[Raak] Exceeds Wales? - YESish. - One of the elements of the answer is bigger than Wales - the answer itself is hard to put a size to.
BTW I should have mentioned that the audience perked up a bit at Tuj's last question.
Is the mineral element water?
Is the human element the entire population of the world including those with anarchosyndicalist tendencies?
[Chalky] Watery mineral? - NO
[CdM] Globality? - NO (can't answer for the anarchosyndicalism, but unlikely to be significant)
Related to mining?
Is it associated with a particular country?
[Raak] Mining-related? - NO
[Tuj] Related to specific country? - NO, not to one particular country *some applause for the line of questioning*
Is this one thing distributed over more than one continent?
[Raak] Is this one thing distributed over more than one continent? - NO (or more precisely: NO, not really and NO)
European?
On Earth?
[Raak] European? - YES
[Chalky] On Earth - Unsurprisingly, YES
Is the mineral element metal?
[Chalky] Metal? - Almost entirely NO
Is the mineral element rock?
The entire population of Europe?
(er, and the land beneath their feet)
[Chalky] Rocky? - YES *some relieved applause*
[CdM] All Europe? (& Europeans) - NO *audience subsides*
A mountain range?
At last
[GL] - Mountain range? - YES, a mountain range is part of the answer *considerable applause*
Is the human part alive?
*is wondering why no Vegetable element was part of the original poser - -given that mountain ranges would usually have vegetation about their person - *
making some progress
[Raak] Living human - NO
[Chalky] I did consider it, but thought it wouldn't really be very helpful. A bit like saying a person is animal and mineral because they have mercury amalgam fillings in their teeth.
Are prehistoric fossils involved?
[Raak] Fossils? - NO
Do you need a leg-up?
I think you're closer to it than it feels.
War graves?
Are the Alps part of the answer?
Well, there's only a finite number of mountain ranges in Europe...
[Raak] War Graves? - NO *a slight stirring in the audience*
[jim] Alps? - YES - the Alps are the mineral part of the answer *applause*
Dead mountaineers?
[Raak] Ex-climbers? Well, YES and YESish, but NO, not as it applies to the answer.
Otzi The Iceman?
Does it begin with P?
[Chalky] The Iceman Cometh? - NO (But you do need to start sorting out the animal bit now)
[CdM] P.......? - NO
Hannibal crossing the Alps with his elephants?
It randomly popped into my head ...
I didn't think it was THAT hard
We have a winner!
It is exactly as jim said: Hannibal's crossing of the Alps
The abstract side of it being that it is an action or event rather than a thing.
Have an ivory baton, sir.
I say, well done.
Damn. I thought of that before my previous move, but then dismissed it because I thought we had established the animal element as (fully) human. I should read more carefully.
Takes ivory baton quickly and hides it before the animal rights people get wind of it.
Thanks! Hmm. Now I have to think of a clue, don't I? OK, have an ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Is the animal connection human?
Is the animal connection elephant?
[INJ] YES, human.
[Tuj] NO, non-pachydermic.
A particular human?
Is there any connection with the arts?
Begins with P?
A fictional human?
A dead human?
[Raak] A qualified YES--there is more than one human associated with the answer, but one in particular stands out.
[INJ] YES, in a more or less broad sense of "the arts".
[Tuj] YES, give or take a definite article, begins with P.
[GL] YES, there is a particular fictional human association (although again not unique).
[Chalky] YES, in that the human alluded to in my answer to Raak is dead.
Is the abstract portion of the question a field of endeavour?
Is there a musical connection?
A phrase or saying?
[Dujon] NO, not a field of endeavour
[INJ] NO, no musical connection (or one too tenuous to be useful)
[Software] NO, not a phrase or saying.
Related to a particular work (or works) of fiction?
The Piltdown Man?
[Tuj] YES, related to a work of fiction.
[Chalky] NO, not Piltdown Man.
The Penguin (from Batman)?
The Patrician?
[Software] NO, not the Penguin
[GL] NO, not the Patrician either.
Is the answer the title of a book?
[INJ] YES, in that the words on the card form the title of several books; NO, in that none of the books with this title is the answer (although at least one is directly related).
science fiction genre?
... then I can butt out if the answer is yes ..
[Chalky] That's quite difficult to say. There are certainly science-fictional elements, but I wouldn't place the answer as a whole within the science fiction genre. I'm sure some would disagree, though.
The name of a series of books?
(e.g. The Alexandria Quartet)
[INJ] Again, YES, but the book series is not the answer.
First half of 20th Century?
[Software] NO, not first half of 20th Century.
Please can you confirm that there is NO connection with the Harry Potter series?
Is the author still alive?
[Chalky] NO, I cannot categorically deny any connection with Harry Potter. I mean, the HP franchise runs to getting on for a million words[1] and eight movies, it's quite likely that she slipped a reference in there somewhere. But if there is a connection, a) it's pretty tenuous and b) I'm not aware of it.
[INJ] NO, in so far as the AOTC can be said to have "an author", not alive.
[1]Wild-assed estimate.
is Religion relevant?
[Chalky] With such a broad question I think we have to begin by defining our terms carefully: we need to decide, for one thing, whether our discussion is restricted to organised religions, or whether we are willing to adopt a more all-encompassing definition that includes notions of personal spirituality (as a side issue, we might also ask whether there is a difference between religion and, as you chose to express it, Religion with a capital R); for another, we need to think about whether we mean merely relevant to certain individuals (surely not the meaning we want to adopt, for otherwise the question must be trivially answered in the affirmative), or whether we mean relevant to society, history, the body politic, the social order, or something else; and if any of the latter, then precisely which aspects of society, and what criteria for "relevance" are appropriate? If we take as a starting point the notion that --

Oh wait. Never mind. As you were.
[CdM/Chalky] I was just going to say "NO", but whatever ... :)
Stony silence
Do we need a clue, or is everyone still thinking?
Is the human connection "who stands out" known as a leader of some kind?
Is the word that begins with P a title?
[CdM] NO, the principal (real, dead) human connection is not a leader.
[Raak] NO, not a title (or at least, not an "official" title e.g. "The Prince", although it does describe a person without being a name).
Was the AOTC known of in the year 1900?
[Boolbar] NO, not known of in the year 1900.
Is it a TV series?
Just trying to eliminate some thoughts in my head.
[Boolbar] YES, it is a TV series! Audience applause
The Prisoner?
Winner!
[Chalky] YES! It is The Prisoner (the original TV series, of course). The "outstanding" real-life human being of course Patrick McGoohan; the principal fictional connection the Prisoner himself. I don't think JK Rowling slipped a Prisoner reference into the Harry Potter series anywhere, but I wouldn't put it past her.
One baton with the number 6 engraved on it goes to Chalky.
Well done Chalky!
Yes, we should have done better with that - nothing wrong with the subject or the answers.
What a surprise - thank you :)
Dipping into my special box of Answers On Cards - this found its way into my hand ..

ANIMAL & MINERAL & VEGETABLE with a strong ABSTRACT element

- just to keep it simple
Begins with P?
If we were playing this game in 1900, would this have been in your special box then?
Is it a location?
[Tuj] Begins with P? Ha - YES partly
[Boolbar] 1900 - the year not the hour? YES
[ImNotJohn] Location? NO .. but *audience mumbles a bit*
Is the audience mumbling because this thing is at a specific location associated with it?
Such as Nelson's Column not being a location, as such.
[Raak] Reasons for mumbling? NO 'fraid not
Is the animal element human?
... or at least partly human.
[Boolbar] Human? YES
Is it associated with a series of locations?
Is it a historical event?
Is the animal, mineral, vegetable part the planet Earth?
A specific individual thing?
[Tuj] Associated with a series of locations? NO
[ImNotJohn] An historical event? NO
[Boolbar] AVM planet earth? NO
[Raak] Specific individual thing? It's specific but only in the way that most AOTC are. Do you mean a one-off? If so - NO
Naturally occurring?
In the 19th Century?
Is this something I can experience today?
Is it something that can be visited?
[Tuj] Naturally occurring? NO
[Software] In the 19th century??? I think NO may be the answer to whatever it is you meant :)
[Boolbar] Experience today? YES
[ImNotJohn] Visitorable? NO
Does it involve eating food?
I am hungry.
[Boolbar] NO - it does not involve eating food
Does it involve a crowd?
Is it associated with entertainment?
[Rosie] Involve a crowd? YES - it can do. Good question :)
[Tuj] Associated with entertainment? YES - very much so
*audience applauds progress made from last two questions*
Is there any singing involved?
Associated with a particular country or region?
Does it involve a sporting activity?
[Boolbar] Singing involved? NO
[ImNotJohn] Country or regional associations? YES - absolutely - particularly in its origin
[Raak] Sporting activity? No - well ... NO *wry chuckles from audience*
A form of dancing?
Sorry I'm late.
Morris dancing?
[Dujon] Dancing? NO
... therefore [Raak] Not even Morris Dancing
A foxhunt?
[Rosie] Foxhunt? NO
Essentially rural?
[Rosie] Rural? NO - whatever gave you that idea? ;-)
Is it a play?
Is it associated with somewhere in Europe?
[Boolbar] A play? NO
[Tuj] Europe? Originally ... NO
*audience snoozes*
... again
I would like to adjust one of my replies to ImNotJohn who asked "Visitorable?" and I replied unequivocally in the negative.
On reflection, the AOTC, if not exactly visitorable, is certainly - spectatorable.
This may help.
Is it originally associated with somewhere in Asia?
Outdoors?
(Chalks) I was hoping to confirm that the answer was Cheese Rolling.
[Boolbar] Asia? NO
[Rosie] Outdoors? NO - not usually. However ..
*audience wakes up with an anticipatory start*
[Rosie] Cheese rolling? NO - but closer than some of the guesses so far :-)
Is it originally associated with somewhere in the Americas?
I've eliminated having a picnic, Punch & Judy and panda breeding so far.
A Pastime?
[Boolbar] Americas? YES!
[ImNotJohn] Pastime? Yes - mainly .. YES [rather a quaint word - pastime. I had to check on the meaning]
*Audience ready to shout and scream and generally go wild for the winner*
Poker?
Does it involve a ball?
If it doesn't then I'm going on strike.
Is food involved?
[ImNotJohn] Boolbar asked that question way back up there ^^^ and I said NO then :)
[Boolbar] Balls? NO
[Raak] YES - and the rest of the AOTC is .... ? [3 or 4 words]

No-one else will be allowed to nick this one - it's got Raak's name all over it ..
*Audience on their feet ready to jump about quite a lot ...*
Five-cadr Draw Poker? Stud Poker? Texas Hold-em? Red Dog?
Strip? Pai gow? Mexican Stud? Seven-card Razz? High Chicago?
The Poker World Series?
Chips All Round!
Well played Raak - t'would've been churlish indeed to allow someone else to slip in there with the precise AOTC Texas Hold Em Poker [currently and universally the most popular form of the game - which handily explains that location reference the audience got a bit mumbly about]

No-one picked up on my CLUE when introducing this one and I quote:
"Dipping into my special box of Answers On Cards - this found its way into my hand ..."
But then - a clue is only a clue if one knows it's there.
*hands over a baton made of 50 x stuck together $1000 chips*
Nice one Raak! I was thinking of ten-pin bowling but couldn't really tie it in with the location hint.
The next is MINERAL.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique!
Metal?
[GL] Mainly metal.
Located in the Eastern hemisphere?
[CdM] *murmuring in the audience* Not in the Eastern hemisphere.
Is it in London?
[Boolbar] Not in London.
Is it on Earth?
Is it larger than the Airbus A380?
Is it human-made?
Well, that narrows it down.
[Tuj] *applause* Not on Earth.
[Chalky] Smaller than an Airbus.
[Boolbar] Human-made.
Is it less than 2 AU from the Sun?
[Boolbar] Less than 2 AU from the Sun.
On the moon?
In orbit around the Earth?
[INJ] Not on the moon.
[BB] Not in orbit around the Earth.
A spacecraft that has crashed into either Mars or Venus?
An asteroid?
[Rosie] *applause* Not a spacecraft that has crashed into either Mars or Venus.
[Software] Not an asteroid.
On or orbiting Mars?
[jim] Yes! On or orbiting Mars!
I confidently expect to see the right answer tomorrow morning.
The Mars Odyssey craft?
Or one of the other handful.
Spirit or Opportunity?
[Rosie] Nor the Odyssey.
[CdM} Yes! Spirit or Opportunity. But which one?
Count me out
I'll be incommunicado for the full 4 days of the weekend so I refuse to guess.
Actually, one of the earlier answers is enough to decide the matter, with a bit of research.
Opportunity?
I think that's right.
[CdM] Yes! Mars does have a meridian defined, according to which Spirit is in the Eastern Hemisphere, Opportunity in the Western. *passes CdM a spare robot arm*
[Raak] So if I had asked, "Located in the Western hemisphere?", you would have answered yes, and we would have been chasing wild geese for a long time.

ANIMAL with VEGETABLE connections
A boar's head with an apple in its mouth?
Roast kid goat with anchovies, rosemary and lemon?
oh, so close
Sundry banquet items? No. (Also, both of those include vegetables, rather than simply having vegetable connections.)
Is the animal human?
Well someone has to ask a boring question.
Jasper Carrott?
Unique?
Percy Thrower?
Woodworm?
Human? No.
Jasper Carrott? No.
Unique? No.
Percy Thrower? No.
Woodworm? No. *smattering of applause*
Does the vegetable connection refer to the animal's diet?
Is the animal a mammal?
Death Watch beetle?
Stick insect?
Vegetable = diet? Yes. *applause*
Mammal? No.
Death watch beetle? No.
Stick insect? No.
Is it a bird?
A woodpecker?
Bird? No.
Woodpecker? The answer to this question is left as an exercise for the reader.
Woody Woodpecker?
*ignores The Reader*
Is the Animal portion an insect?
Just for clarification purposes, like. :)
Animal = insect? Yes.
A locust?
Locust? No.
Is it an insect with a vegetable in its name?
A fruit fly?
Among the lepidoptera?
Veg in name? No.
Fruit fly? No. *brief smattering of applause*
Butterfly? No.
Does this insect have a particular liking for cellulose?
Taste for cellulose? No. (If anything, perhaps the opposite, although I may be over-interpreting what I have read.)
As usual, there are other ways of approaching this AVMA rather than just guessing at insects.
Is any part of this insect used as a foodstuff?
Insect used as foodstuff? No.
Begins with P?
Is the vegetable connection to its diet?
Does the insect have wings?
Begins with P? It most certainly does.
Vegetable = diet? Still Yes.
Insect have wings? Yes.
Actually...
The "does it have wings?" question really deserves a more detailed answer. This particular insect has a rather complicated life-cycle which includes several different stages; in one of these stages it may have wings.
Does the answer on the card live out all its life cycles on land? (as opposed to, say, a mosquito.)
Live on land? Yes. (Except for when it is flying, obviously.)
Clarification/correction: I answered "No" to the question about whether the insect has a vegetable in its name. The technical term for this insect does in fact include a reference to a vegetable item. Non-technical references to this insect can also include a vegetable item, but more usually do not.
Is it a beetle?
John Peul George or Ringo? No.
Is it a social insect?
Is the insect destructive to vegetable gardens/crops?
Social insect? You mean, like ants or bees? No.
Destructive to gardens/crops? Yes. *applause*
Plant lice?
Aphids? No (although I have seen this described as a "louse", and there is also *prolonged applause*).
The leaf-cutter ant?
Leaf-cutter ant? No. *audience subsides back into their seats*
Potato moth?
Potato moth? No.
Passion vine bug?
Phylloxera?
Enthusiasm brings reward...
Dactylosphaera vitifoliae (Phylloxera) is the correct answer! I think cfm deserved that, since she (?) did most of the heavy lifting and got very close earlier with aphid (correct phylum, class, order, and suborder...)
*hands cfm baton that has been grafted onto resistant N. American rootstock*
*examines baton carefully for signs of infestation* Thank you.
This next one is ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL AND VEGETABLE CONNECTIONS
Any artistic connection?
[INJ] A qualified yes to that, employing a somewhat broad definition of art.
Related to food?
Musical connections?
[Tuj] Delicious and nutricious? NO -- or, at best, only in a fairly obscure and not-very-helpful way.
[CdM] Give it a 9 and dance to it? NO.
Is the animal human?
A human invention?
Is it something I can experience now?
Does it begin with U X A R P?
[INJ] YES, the strongest animal connection is human, though I can think of other animal connections.
[Tuj] YES, hence the strong human connection.
[Boolbar] YES, it is a contemporary concept.
[CdM] YES, it does indeed begin with P.
*loud applause...several audience members faint, overcome by the excitement of so many yes-es in a row*
Is it an essentially technological invention?
Was it known of in the year 1900?
A culinary invention?
[INJ] NO, not tech-y.
[Boolbar] YES, it was known in 1900.
[Raak]NO, still unrelated to food, except in an obscure, symbolic way.
Related to architecture?
[Raak] Architectural? NO. That would be Frank Lloyd Wrong :)
Is the strongest animal connection to a particular individual?
[CdM] NO. Not to an individual.
Fictional?
*proffers smelling salts to remaining audience members yet to come round*
Is this a group of people with something in common?
Is it a method of creating something?
An area of knowledge?
[Tuj] NO, the thing is quite real.
[Chalky] NO, the thing is abstract with animal and vegetable connections, not in and of itself animal.
[Boolbar] Tough one. But I think the best answer is NO, not a method. But creating is a relevant concept.
[INJ, NO, not an area of knowledge.
Related to a craft?
[INJ] YES, related to a craft. *enthusiastic applause ensues*
Does it involve writing?
Does it involve painting?
Does it end in "ism"?
[Raak] NO, not made with words.
[Boolbar] NO, no paint required.
[Tuj] NO, not a P-ism. :-)
Is it a particular method or style of creating something?
[Tuj] See my answer to Boolbar's earlier question. NO. It is not a method. But style is a relevant concept as well.
Does religion have any relevance to this?
Some sort of weaving?
Fashion?
[Chalky] YES, there is an ancient religious connection--though ti seems that's the case with everything. :-) .
[Raak]YES, the item can be related to weaving.
[Tuj] YES, there is a fashion association.*audience swoons once again*
Is there a connection to clothing?
Fancy dress?
Is it just the one word beginning with P on the card?
[Boolbar] YES. Connected to clothing.
[Raak] YES. And NO. By that I mean not necessarily and not always associated with fanciness.
[Chalky] YES. There is single word on the card.
Pattern?
Pinstripe?
[CdM] NO. Pattern is not the word on the card. But it is a relevant concept. *enthusiastic applause from the audience*
[GL] NO. Not pinstripe. *lingering applause nonetheless*
IS the AOTC a name of a pattern often found on clothing?
[Boolbar] YES! It is a pattern found on clothing! *audience knows it's just a matter of time now until the other shoe drops and relapses into its regularly scheduled apathy
Plaid?
Houndstooth?
[GL] NO. Not plaid.
[Raak] NO, not houndstooth. Or poundstooth, for that matter. :-)
Corduroy?
[Raak] NO. Not corduroy. (See previous questions; the answer begins with P.)
Paisley?
Patchwork?
[Raak] YES! Love it or hate it -- paisley is the word on the card. *turns up the Grateful Dead and extends a psychedelic baton to Raak*
pointing out a simple error
Well played Gusset Login - for t'was you, was it not, that gusseted the correct AOTC?
*embarrassed* Sorry, GL.
*turns up the Grateful Dead and extends a psychedelic baton to Gusset Login*
Either way is fine, but could you turn the music down a bit? I've got a headache... Now I feel old.
Anyway new AOTC is MINERAL
Occuring naturally?
Does it begin with a P?
[Dujon] Natural? - No
[Boolbar] P...? - No
Metal?
Rock?
Unique?
Was it first created after 1900?
[ImNotJohn] Metal? At least partly, often mostly
[Chalky] Rock? No, at least not that I've seen
[cfm] Unique? No *Audience laughs*
[Boolbar] Created after 1900? Yes
Is it used as currency?
A feature of urban architecture?
[Boolbar] Currency? No
[ImNotJohn] feature of urban architecture? No

I have done some more research and discovered that in fact the AOTC was created *before* 1900. Please ignore my previous answer.
Mobile?
[jim] Mobile? Depends on how you define mobile. It can be moved, but it isn't usually used while doing so.
A tool of some kind?
Bigger than a phone box?
Are there currently more than a million of these?
Is it used in communication?
[cfm] A tool of some kind? I wouldn't say it was, but I've heard it both ways.
[jim] Bigger than the Tardis? No.
[Raak] 1,000,000+ extant? Yes.
[Boolbar] Is it used in communication? Not to my knowledge.
Does it have moving parts?
Exactly the same size, shape and function as a toaster?
[Boolbar] Moving Parts? Yes
[ImNotJohn] Effectively a toaster? No.
Do parts of it get hot?
Is it an item of stationery?
[Tuj] Do parts of it get hot? They do generate heat but they are not well known for it.
[Raak] Is it an item of stationery? No.
A houshold utensil?
[Dujon] utensil? Never sure about that word, but it is used for a purpose so I guess, Yes... household? I tend to expect the AOTC more in offices, but I have one at home and items similar to the AOTC are not uncommon in houses...
So:
[Dujon] A houshold utensil? Yes
Does it do things to sheets of paper?
[Boolbar] Does it do things to sheets of paper? It depends what you do with it/them. Personally I try to avoid letting mine do anything to sheets of paper but not always successfully.
It is electrically powered?
Is it used to control temperature?
[Raak] Electric? Yes
[Boolbar] Used to control temperature? Yes
An air conditioner?
A fan?
[CdM] Air conditioner? No
[Raak] A fan? The AOTC is Electric Desk Fan but you are close enough.
Have an air cooled baton
The next is VEGETABLE.
Wooden?
[INJ] Mainly wooden.
Unique?
Alive?
The Larch?
Smaller than a toaster?
[Tuj] Not unique.
[jim] Not alive.
[Boolbar] Not the Larch.
[Chalky] Usually smaller than a toaster.
Is the bit that's not wooden - paper?
Begins with P?
Mass-produced?
[Chalky] I was a bit misleading there -- the paper is what's mainly wooden.
[Tuj] Yes! Yes, it does begin with P!
[CdM] I couldn't swear that no-one has ever set up a factory to make these, but no, not mass produced as far as I know.
Of value?
[Tuj] No particular value.
Is origami involved?
[Boolbar] *applause and cheering* Yes, the craft of paper-folding is involved.
A paper aeroplane?
*the audience launch a hail of paper darts* Yes, a paper aeroplane.
Crikey. We're damn good at this game.
Oh, is it me?
Most of the hard work was done for me ... I just supplied the answer. But then, it's always a communal effort.
Let's try a MINERAL, with ANIMAL and ABSTRACT connections.
Unique?
Metal?
Bigger than a toaster?
Human-made?
A fairly good start
[GL] YES, unique.
[CdM] NO, not metal.
[Tuj] YES, bigger than a toaster.
[Boolbar]YES, human made.
Functional?
In Europe?
[CdM] NO, not functional. A few giggles from the audience
[Tuj] YES, in Europe.
Is it inside a building?
Is it a statue?
Michelangelo's David?
Is it a city?
[Boolbar] NO, not inside a building.
[Raak] NO, not a statue, and hence not Michelangelo's David. Some audience approval of this line of questioning
[GL] NO, not a city.
But is it art?
Or architecture?
Made since 1900?
In the UK?
Does it involve water in any way?
[Tuj] YES, it is art.
[INJ] NO, it is not architecture.
[Raak] NO, not made since 1900.
[CdM] YES, in the UK.
[Chalky] NO, does not involve water any more than anything else in the UK not enclosed in some sort of building :)
Is it a sculpture?
Is it made of stone?
Is it in London?
[CdM] NO, it is not a sculpture. (You could make a case for its being one, but on the whole I'd say no.)
[Chalky] YES, it is made of stone. Some murmurs from the audience but no outright dissent.
[Tuj] NO, it is not in London.
The Stone of Scone?
That looks *so* wrong when typed out
[Chalky] NO, not the Stone of Scone.
A monument?
Does it have some religious significance?
Begins with P?
[Raak] NO, not a monument.
[cfm] POSSIBLY, but nobody knows for sure.
[Tuj] NO, alas, does not begin with P.
An ancient stone circle?'
Is it in England?
The Cerne Abbas Giant?
A very impressive guess
Might as well cut to the chase ...
[INJ] YES! It is the Cerne Abbas Giant, aka the Rude Man of Cerne, for reasons that should be obvious.
It may be an Iron Age depiction of a god or a fertility symbol, or it may be a giant 17th-century satirical drawing. But it is quite rude.
Over to ImNotJohn goes one baton in the shape of ... well, probably best not to go into that.
The giggles gave it away!
Ah well, thinking cap on again.
OK We'll go for ABSTRACT with MINERAL connections
A well-known phrase or saying?
Does it involve singing?
Fictional?
A quick start
[cfm] I say, I say? - YES
[Boolbar] musical/vocal? - NO
[Tuj] Fictional? - YES
On the bike today, so leaving the laptop at work - normal service will resume in the morning
The title of a written work?
Are the mineral connections metal?
Good Morning again
[cfm] Literary? - YES (but I didn't think of that when I set it)
[Tuj] Metallic? - NO
Begins with P?
Is a place name in the AOTC?
Are mineral connections liquid?
[Tuj] A P? - PNO
[Boolbar] Locational? - NO
[Chalky] Liquidity? - NO
Is it getting blood from a stone?
[Boolbar] Petric exsanguination? - NO
Does it come from the Bible?
[Raak] Biblical? - YES
Rock of Ages?
[cfm] Old Rock? - NO (is that biblical or just from the hymn? I shall check.)
Back again. The exact phrase seems to relate to the hymn although there are close biblical links turned up in my swift googling. BTW the rock that is referred to is on the Isle of Wight, but I've not been there myself.
The salt of the earth?
[INJ] Impulsive, misguided guess. Especially as you'd already said there was no connection to singing. But it's the name of a film playing in theaters now. So I thought it might be top of mind.
[Raak] Terrestrial salinity? - NO *the audience are fidgeting and getting their things together in preparation for an early getaway*
[cfm] - Always worth a try. I did know the story of the writing of the hymn, but I didn't (and don't) know if the phrase came to mind because it was biblical.
The widow's mite?
[Raak] The potentially willing widow? - NO
From the Old Testament?
[Raak] OT? - Y
A column of smoke by day and a pillar of fire by night?
A pillaf of salt?
Don't forget the first answer
[Raak] Where there's smoke...? - NO
[GL] Salty? - NO
The stone tablets of the law?
Dust to dust - [ashes to ashes]?
[Raak] Mosaic tablets? - NO
[Chalky] Funereal soil? - NO
Is it from the Pentateuch?
[Raak] GenExoLevNumDeu? - NO
You may not know this as biblical - I chose it first and then checked the origin, so picking biblical quotes that fit might take a long time.
Is this a three word answer?
[Chalky] I'll name that in 3? - YES
Is the first word "the"?
[Raak] Starts with 'The'? - NO (and for a bonus, neither the second nor the third word are 'the')
Does the word "Stone" appear?
*more lateral fishing* .. Would yer average young adult have heard this well-known phrase or saying in general conversation?
Is the middle word "and"?
A stone's throw?
[Boolbar] Includes 'stone'? - NO
[Chalky] Well-known in young adult conversation etc? - I think the average young adult would have come across the phrase, but not in general conversation. I'm sure everyone here will know it as a phrase and most also as the book title.
[Raak] --- and ---? - NO
[cfm] Glass House No-no? - NO
Is it from the Book of Daniel?
Is the middle word "of"?
Aha!
[Boolbar] Daniel-y? - YES *considerable applause*
[GL] --- of ---? - YES *some members of the audience have put their coats on*
Feet of clay?
And the winner is....
cfm - Feet of Clay is the phrase on the card

Just make sure you keep the baton out of the rain.

Thank you, INJ. Won't be difficult. It has been blazing hot and sunny for days with more of the same on the way.
Let's try MINERAL with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE ASSOCIATIONS
Unique?
Is the animal connection human?
Made of Stone?
[Tuj] NO, there are many to be found.
[INJ] YES, among other animal connections.
[GL] NO, not made of stone.
Metal?
[Raak] YES. Metal. *audience applauds politely*
A household implement?
Larger than a 4-slice toaster?
Does it have a pointy bit?
Does it have any moving parts?
A watering can?
Do you own more than one?
[CdM] YES, the item is used by householders among other people. *a smattering of applause from the audience*
INJ YES, larger than a 4-slice. *another smattering, plus a snicker or two*
[Tuj] NOT NECESSARILY, but in some cases there are.
[Software] NO, not a watering can.
[GL] NO. I do not own more than one.
[BB] NO, nothing pointy -- on mine at least. But come to think, the ones with moving parts might have some pointy bits.
A sofa?
This either inspired or silly, I'm too tired to tell
Is it used in gardening?
[GL] NO, not a sofa. But YES! Totally silly. :)
[Rakk] NO, not used for gardening.
Ornamental?
[Raak] NO, not ornamental.
Used in cooking?
[GL] YES. Related to cooking. *a round of hearty applause*
An Aga?
A barbecue?
Or grill if you're american
[Raak] NO, not an Aga. (But I want of one those--one of the minty-turquoise green ones. :-) )
[GL] NO, not a barbecue/grill. *audience applauds nonetheless*
A refrigerator?
A smoker?
Some other sort of oven?
Cutting to the chase...
[CdM] YES! The word on the card is indeed "smoker." (I recently inherited one from a relocating neighbor and have been having a fine time experimenting with it. One can only hope someone will leave me that Aga next.) *even as it is quickly handed off to CdM, the baton begins to vanish...*
Italy is a wonderful country but they don't quite seem to have mastered this whole Internet thing yet. Two hotels in a row, now, where the wifi has worked hardly at all. So I think it best if I leave this baton here for someone else to pick up.
If the baton is just sitting around I'll grab it.

ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE or MINERAL connections
Begins with P?
Was it known of in 1900?
Does the AOTC ever have both vegetable and mineral connections simultaneously?
Connected to the arts?
[Tuj] P...? No
[Boolbar] Known in 1900? Yes, but not in the context I thought of it.
[cfm] Both vegetable and mineral together? The AOTC is abstract but were it not it may be vegetable, mineral or both depending on context and cultural preference
[Software] The arts? The arts is too vague a term, no answer I give can be both accurate and helpful
Are the vegetable and mineral connections the things it can be made of?
[Raak] Made of vegetable/mineral? As I said to cfm, if it were not abstract, it would be.
Fictional?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Tuj] Fictional? If you mean "from a work of fiction", then No
[cfm] Phrase or Saying? Yes
Does the AOTC refer to some kind of building?
Is it the title of a work of fiction?
[cfm] Some kind of building? No
[Tuj] A work of fiction? Not that I've heard of or can find searching Amazon.
Is it computer related (nowadays) ?
Is it a phrase originating from a work of fiction?
Strange furrow to be ploughing.
[Boolbar] Computer related? I've seen it used on the internet but beyond that, No, I'm not aware of a computer connection.
[Tuj] From fiction? No, it is not fictional, from fiction, the name of a work of fiction, nor is it noatably associated with a fictional character, place or organisation.
Is it a proverb?
Does it include the word "of"?
[GL] Your comprehensive answering is appreciated =)
[Chalky] Proverb? No
[Tuj] Includes "of"? No.

[Tuj] Your welcome I didn't want you worrying the wrong end of the stick for too long. It is safe to say if it is at all fictional it did not start out that way.

Is it associated with a particular place?
When the AOTC is made of vegetable, is the vegetable wood?
[Boolbar] A singular geographical association? No
[cfm] Is the vegetable connection wood? Yes
When the AOTC is mineral, is it metal?
[cfm] Is the mineral connection metal? Usually.
Is the vegetable/mineral connection a household item?
[Boolbar] Linked to a household item? No.
Does the AOTC have a nautical connection?
As no one else is guessing, I thought I'd get things moving again.
[Boolbar] Boating Connection? Not that I'm aware of

To summarise: The AOTC is a physical object that has, through association with a phrase or saying, become not fictional but certainly metaphorical to the extent that it can appear on the internet (and not just as a picture). The original object may be/have been made of wood, metal or a combination of both. It is/was not a household object or related to boats and does not begin with P. Both the object and it's usage in the phrase date to before 1900, but it was not used on the internet until sometime later.

If any of the above appears to contradict anything I've said before, then assume my previous answers were accidentally wrong and use the new information.

Is there any connection to fire?
[Tuj] On fire? No
Is the "physical object" larger than a toaster?
[Boolbar] Originally larger than a toaster? No, in at least two dimensions, often all three.
When used as a phrase or saying, does the AOTC generally have negative connotations?
[cfm] Is it generally negative? No.
Is the "physical object" a weapon?
[Boolbar] A weapon? No, or not as such (depending on context)
Does the letter "b" occur in the AOTC ?
Trying a different approach.
[Boolbar] Can I have a B please? Yes
Does it have a sporting connection?
[INJ] Sports? At least two of the contexts I can think of are sporting. Others are not.
Does the saying refer to something worn on one's body?
Are there one or more websites specifically devoted to the AOTC?
[cfm] Worn? No
[CdM] Website(s)? Yes
Is the physical object essentially flat?
Just want to verify something from the last sentence of your excellent summary: are you sure it wasn't used on the internet before 1900?
[CdM] Is it flat? No
[CdM] Are you sure it wasn't used on the internet before 1900? I have found no websites using it with creation dates earlier than 1900, but they may exist.
Does the physical object have a sporting connection?
[Boolbar] Sports? At least two of the contexts I can think of are sporting. Others are not.
Are the sports team sports?
Does the AOTC contain the word "ball"?
Either as a whole word or part of a word.
[cfm] Teaming with sports? Yes
[Boolbar] Pass the ball? No, no "ball"s.
Jolly Hockey Sticks! ?
Does the AOTC refer to a particular piece of sporting equipment?
[INJ] Hockey Sticks? No
[CdM] A piece of equipment? Yes, but that's not the only definition of the AOTC
Is the word "bowl" contained within the AOTC?
[Boolbar] You got a bowl in it? No
Do the sports use a ball?
[INJ] Use a ball? No and not at the same time as the AOTC
Does the letter "k" occur in the AOTC ?
[Boolbar] Does the letter "k" occur in the AOTC? In English? No. In Esperanto, Dutch or Slovak? Yes
Are the sports connected with the AOTC occuring at the 2012 Olympics?
Topical!
[Boolbar] Are the sports in the Summer Olympics 2012? The obvious one is. The other one isn't and if it had been, the AOTC part would likely be omitted.

If no one gets this by Monday morning (BST) I intend to quit and let the first person to say "baton" start a new one.
Does the AOTC have something to do with a Baton?
[Boolbar] A Baton? YES the AOTC is "The Baton" please take this thing off me.
I wasn't expecting that!
Onwards :
ANIMAL
Human?
Unique?
Alive today?.
A flying start.
[cfm] Human?   Oh yes.
[CdM] Only one?   Oh yes.
[irach] Unkicked bucket?   Oh yes.
Did they win a medal at the London 2012 Olympics?
Female?
Bradley Wiggins?
[Gusset Login] Gong?   No.   *Slight murmur from the audience*
[cfm] Femella?   Yes!
[Raak] Ginger sideburns?   No.
Disqualified from a medal at the London 2012 Olympics?
[Raak] Gong gone? No.
A competitor at the London 2012 Olympics?
Or failing that an asian badminton player
A medalist at some past Olympics?
[Gusset Login] Going for gold in 2012?   No.   *A few sniggers from the audience*
[cfm] Old Olympian?   No.
Any connection with the 2012 Olympics
[ImNotJohn] 2012 Olympics   Yes!
A politician?
Lord Coe?
[Raak] I think you must mean Lady Coe.
[cfm] Politician No.
[Raak] Coe/Coette No.
British?
[ImNotJohn] No. Not British.
A journalist?
Asian?
[cfm]   Journalist?   No.
[Gusset Login]   Asian?   Yes!   *Audience applause*
Were they disqualified from the 2012 Olympics?
[Gusset Login]   Disqualified   No. "Not applicable" is a more accurate answer.
A member of the IOC?
[ImNotJohn]   IOCilver Lining?  No.
Associated with any particular sport?
[Raak]   Sporty?   No.
Chinese?
[Tuj]   Chinese?   No.
A busy weekend looming
I have to admit, I don't know why this particular person popped into my head when I picked up the baton. She really shouldn't have been there.
Connected to the Opening Ceremony in London?
[CdM] Yes! *Audience applause*
Madhura Nagendra, the "gatecrasher" with the Indian contingent marchers?
[irach] Yes! She is the answer on my card. I pass you these two batons. I'm not sure where the second one came from.
A lurker's victory this....the next one is ABSTRACT with a main ANIMAL connection, plus another somewhat more remote ANIMAL connection.
Is the main animal connection human?
Fictional?
Connected with a particular country?
[INJ] The main animal connection is human.
[Raak] Yes, fictional.
[Tuj] Yes, originated in one particular country.
Is the secondary animal connection human?
[cfm] The secondary animal connection is not human.
St. George?
[Raak] Not St. George (or a dragon as the secondary animal connection, I might add).
Calvin & Hobbes?
[GLogin] Not Calvin and Hobbes.
Created in the last century?
Is the particular country in Europe?
[Tuj] Not created in the last century.
[cfm] The country in question is European.
Sport-related?
[Tuj] Not sport-related
Is the country fictional but based on real one?
Literary?
Connected with religion?
Begins with P?
[Dujon] The country where the abstract entity stems from is not fictional.
[INJ] Yes, could presumbably be construed as "literary".
[jim] Not connected to religion.
[Tuj] Does not begin with "P".
Created in the last millennium?
[jim] Created within the last millenium.
Is the country Britain or a sub country thereof?
[gil] Yes, British.
From film or television programme?
Is the main human connection to an individual (fictional) human?
[Tuj] Not from TV or film.
[jim] Yes, the fioctional human connection is a single individual.
Would this fictional human be described as a hero or heroine?
[CdM] Not a hero or heroine per se, but well known to man, woman and child alike.
Well known internationally?
[cfm] I'd say yes, at least in primarily English-speaking nations.
Are we talking Bow Bells here?
(Dick Whittington and Cat)
[gil] Not Dicky and his feline companion (Dick was not fictional), but you're certainly on the right track vis a vis a specific human and animal association.
Greyfriar's Bobby?
[Software] Nae, laddy. Right animalspecies, wrong guess. I believe Greyfrirs Bobby was not fictional.
A well-known English phrase or saying?
[cfm] Not a "phrase" or "saying" specifically but is universally known, widely read, read aloud or otherwise spoken in the English-speaking world.
Is the remote animal connection sheep?
[Boolbar] No, as noted above, the non-human animal species in question is the same as Greyfriars Bobby; i.e. canine.
When you say "not from TV or film", does that mean that these fictional creations have not been portrayed in these media?
(All the famous fictional dogs I can think of have also been portrayed in film/TV)
Created after 1999?
Just to be completely sure what we mean by "not created in the last century".
[jim] The fictional characters most likely have been portrayed in an ancillary manner in some film or TV show, but were never the stars or central characters of a specific TV show or movie to my knowledge.
[jim] Created (considerably) before 1999.
John Bull?
and his British Bulldog, of course.
Old Mother Hubbard?
[INJ] Not John Bull or his bulldog.
[jim} YES!!! The rhyme "Old Mother Hubbard" it is! A long bone purloined from the infamous cupboard, laying it bare and depriving that lady's poor dog, is handed over to jim in lieu of a baton.
Oh sorry, is it my turn?
OK, let's have an ABSTRACT.
Related to literature?
Life?
[INJ] YES, related to literature, although not exclusively so.
[GL] Related to life, certainly, for without life there would be no (this thing). But if you mean is "life" the AOTC, then NO.
Related to creativity?
[cfm] YES, similarly to "literature" above.
A character in a fictional work?
Related to inspiration?
Imagination?
[INJ] NO, not a character in a fictional work (or if so, it's a very strange work).
[cfm] Borderline, but pretty tenuous in either case.
[gil] NO, not imagination.
Do the words on the card refer to an intellectual process?
Is this something which might be described as a 'skill'?
[cfm] NO, not an intellectual process.
[Dujon] It MIGHT be, but any such description would be VERY tongue-in-cheek.
A human invention?
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] YES, in so far as it can be termed an invention. A human concept, certainly.
[CdM] NO, does not begin with P.
Is it useful?
[gil] I would have to say YES, it is useful in a sense, although some would disagree.
Was it known about in 1900?
[Boolbar] YES, it was known about in 1900.
Flair?
[Softers] NO, not flair.
Luck?
Was it known 3000 years ago?
[Phil] Alas, no luck.
[CdM] NO, it was not known 3000 years ago.
I think we need to further narrow things down before guessing. All the guesses so far have been pretty wide of the mark. Oh, and re cfm's question above, it is certainly related to an intellectual process, but I couldn't say that it was one.
Is it related to religion?
[Phil] NO, it is not related to religion. (I could make a facetious comment here, but I shall refrain.)
Do we do this every day?
[Software] I expect that very few, if any, people make/do this every single day. Some do more than others. Some pride themselves on never doing it at all.
Could I type this (using both hands) while making/doing it?
Good question
[Boolbar] You can certainly make/do/perpetrate this while typing (with any number of hands); it's possible that you did so while typing your last question, but I think it very unlikely.
Is this typically viewed negatively?
[CdM] I don't know about "typically". It is viewed negatively by many; I suspect most people are actually neutral on the subject.
an entertainment of some sort?
[INJ] NO, not an entertainment of any sort.
A distraction?
Wild guesses are hyperbole and exaggeration...
[Software] It can be distracting, if you encounter one and you are the sort of person who notices such things.
[Giertrud] I'm sure they are; are they YOUR guesses? In which case, NO, not hyperbole or exaggeration, but you are sort of on the right lines.
Rhetoric
Could it be rhetoric?
A figure of speech?
A clue?
Do some people find it offensive?
Is it something to do with punctuation?
Wild guess.
As jim hasn't posted for 5 weeks, do we think someone else should perhaps take up the baton?
Yes. I nominate Phil.
Or will take it up myself if Phil prefers.
Well, I am phenomenally bored at work, so I certainly have the time.
Any objections?
*waits a minute*
Oh well, OK then.
Let's start a new game with

Animal

Is it a panda?
Is it a live animal?
Is it human?
Begins with P?
[Boolbar] Panda? NO
[cfm] Live animal? NO
[Raak] Human? YES!
[Tuj] P? NO
Is he female?
Did this person run a pub not so long ago?
[GL] Female? NO
[Raak] Ex-publican? No, not even a little bit.
Was this now dead person still alive in 1950?
[Boolbar] Now dead confirmation? YES; Alive in 1950? YES
An artist of some kind?
[cfm] An artist? NO
A sporting figure?
Did this gentleman die in April 1955?
European?
Was this now dead person still alive in 2000?
[Raak] Sporting? NO
[Dujon] d. 04/1955? NO
[CdM] European? NO
[GL] Alive in 2000? YES
American?
[Raak] Americano? NO
A politician?
[cfm] Politician? YES *some applause*
A president, prime minister, or other similar leader?
Did they die this year?
[CdM] Leader? YES
[Raak] d. 2012? NO
Oh, and a bit of *applause* for CdM, I would imagine.
Kim Il Sung?
Yassar Arafat?
[Raak] The man that looked at things? NO
[cfm] Yasser-al-briefly-exhumed-Arafat? YES - spot on.
Here, cfm, take this baton that looks rather like a sandy femur.
[Phil] Er...don't you think we should put it back?
Okay, let's try this:

ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
Connected to a specific human animal?
[CDM] Somebody not anybody? NO
A well known phrase or saying?
Is the animal human?
Did it originate in the Bible?
A human invention?
A work of fiction?
[GL] Just sayin'... NO
[Phil] Only human? YES *Audience applauds in an early-in-the-game sort of way*
[Boolbar] Word of God? NO *A smattering of snickers*
[Tuj] Man/woman-made? YES *Audience applauds again*
[Raak] No resemblance to persons living or dead? NO
Connected with the arts?
[CdM] Art in part? YES. *more applause*
A song?
A book?
Was this invented/created in the last 100 years?
[CdM] Can I hum a few bars? NO
[Phil] Can I turn a few pages? NO *A sustained murmur from the audience*
* [Boolbar] A modern invention? YES *applause*
Is the spoken word involved?
[Raak] Speaking parts? YES *more applause*
A speech made on some occasion?
[Raak] Special occasion? NO
A connection to motion pictures?
[GL] You oughtta be in pictures? NO.
Is it a joke?
Is it a catch-phrase?
[Phil] Is this a joke? NO
[Raak] Here--catch? NO but I am fairly certain the words on the card are well-known among this group.
[Raak] One further comment on your SPECIAL OCCASION question: I still think the best answer to the precise words and spirit of your question is NO. But it bears repeating that there is speech involved with the thing on the card.
Does it originate from a Radio or TV program?
ISIHAC?
[Boolbar] Broadcast first? NO
[Raak] Clueless? NO
To do with a game?
[Raak] Game on? NO
An eaves-dropping?
[Phil] Rain on the roof? NO
[Raak] Another revision. Related to a game, still NO. But the audience *applauds a bit* anyway.
A word?
Does the AOTC have a connection with a particular location?
[Phil] The idea of word? A single word? NO *a ripple of applause nonetheless*
[Boolbar] Here not there? NO
An answer?
[GL] The idea of answer? NO
Was this invented/created in the last 10 years?
[Boolbar] Past decade? NO
Was this invented/created in the last 50 years?
Is the letter W in the AOTC ?
[CdM] Past 50? YES *polite applause*
[Boolbar] Can I have a W? There are two common ways of describing the abstract thing on the card and one of them does include a W, YES. *more applause*
Connected in some specific way with the internet?
So this is connected to the arts, but not to movies, songs, radio, or TV, and is not a book or a work of fiction. (Though the book question elicited a response...)
[CdM] As much as everything is on the internet (including some things one fervently wishes were not), this is connected to the internet. But in a more specifc way, NO.
By the same token, it is also possible that there are movies related to the thing on the card -- just as there are movies about cooking or zombies or Watergate. But I think that is an overly broad interpretation of the question, so my answer stands.
Please refer back to the form of the question on TV. The answer is still NO.
Is there or has there been a TV program with a title that is the AOTC?
[Boolbar] I am aware of one TV program devoted to the thing on the card. I don't know how widely known it is. But the actual title of the show is not comprised of the words on the card. So I guess that is still a NO. Nonetheless *audience applauds encouragingly*
To do with theatre?
[Raak] Take a bow? YES, there is a connection to theater. *applause*
A play?
I am pretty sure the answer is no, but I just want to check.
[CdM] The play's the thing? NO. But you already knew that. :-)
A libretto?
[Phil] Operatic? NO.
A soliloquy?
[Raak] Soliloquy is not the word on the card, NO. But the concept is related. *vigorous applause*
Connected with comedy?
A monologue?
[Boolbar] Stand up and be counted? YES. I would say that there is some connection to comedy. (Though I would add that, like the internet, comedy can be connected to many things.) *more applause*
[Phil] Monologue is not the AOTC, NO. But the concept is again strongly connected. *audience is highly engaged*
*racking my brain*
Does the thing on the card usually involve one person speaking to an audience?
[Boolbar] One and many? Splendid. YES.
[Boolbar] *belated and extended applause*
A TED talk? (or whatever the correct term is for them)?
[Phil] TED-ed? YES, there has been a TED talk on this subject. It is available online. (Also, while TED is not the AOTC, one might argue there is some kinship between the two abstract concepts.) *applause*
Something to do with the giving of awards?
Something to do with the receiving of an award?
[Boolbar] Giving and [Raak] Receiving? In practice, there is frequently a competitive connection. But this is not a necessary component of the abstract concept. *encouraging applause*
A poetry slam?
No, wait a minute -- just one person.
A poetry reading?
[CdM] *considers*
Hmmmm. I can't think of a way to say "no" without seriously misleading the players. So while I actually had in mind the entire genre and not a specific event -- congratulations, YES! The AOTC is Slam Poetry a.k.a. Spoken Word Poetry. *invites CdM up to the mike to say a few very personal words about receiving the baton* :-)
Blimey! I was miles away. Perhaps I will win another day. To CdM I will say well done, and thanks to cfm for so much fun.
That was a surprise; it was a bit of a shot in the dark. OK.
ANIMAL and VEGETABLE
Is the animal element human?
Steak and chips?
Human? No.
Steak and chips? No.
Is the animal element canine?
Doggy? No.
Edible -- at least in the normal course of things?
Is it strongly associated with a particular time of year?
Progress
Edible? Yes.
Associated with a time of year? Yes. *applause*
Associated with summer?
Connected with Christmas?
More specifically...drinkable?
This won't take long
Summer? Perhaps in the Southern Hemisphere
Connected with Christmas? Yes. *applause*
Drinkable? Yes. *sustained applause*
Is there nutmeg involved?
Now you are just toying with me
Nutmeg? Typically, yes.
Is the drinkable thing associated with Christmas potentially intoxicating? :-)
Egg-nog?
Intoxicating? My version certainly is.
Eggnog? YES! One baton with rum and grated nutmeg goes to Gusset Login.
Oh, how unexpected.
The next item is MINERAL
A snowman?
Metal?
Naturally occurring?
Such as, for example, a naturally occurring metal snowman
Gold?
[Raak] snowman? No.
[cfm] Metal? Yes.
[CdM] Natural? No. naturally occurring metal snowman? No.
[Boolbar] Gold? Yes.
One of a kind?
[cfm] Unique? No.
Is the gold object symbolic in some way?
Gold cast or moulded into a quintet of tori?
[cfm] Symbolic? Yes, or at least probably.
[CdM] FIVE GOLD RINGS!? YES

Have a baton made of pear wood tied with partridge feathers
Me again? Oh dear.
I'm travelling for much of the next two days, and not 100% sure of the internet connection when I reach my next destination. So if anyone wants to take over the baton, feel free. If nothing has been set when I am fully internetted again, then I will get back in the saddle.
Very well then
Since no one has picked up the baton... This is best described as
ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE and ANIMAL connections,
but it could also be described as VEGETABLE with ANIMAL and ABSTRACT connections.
Is it a fictional object?
Is the animal connection a human?
Fictional object? I think the best answer is Yes. But, in some sense, real versions do or can exist, hence the two ways of describing it.
Animal connection human? No.
A metaphor?
Metaphor? Yes. *applause*
Is the animal connection bovine?
Is the vegetable part wood?
Bullish? No.
Wood? Yes.
Is the animal a tiny creature that burrows through the wood?
Begins with P?
Does the abstract concept involve an object fashioned from wood?
Carpenter termite worm? No.
Begins with P? Yes.
Object fashioned from wood? A cautious Yes, provided you take a broad interpretation of "fashioned".
Is the animal connection a domesticated beast?
Is a horse involved?
Domestic beast? No.
Wild horse? No.
Is it in the Bible?
Biblical? No.
Is the vegetable element paper?
Paper? Yes. *applause*
Paper Tiger?
Paper tiger? Yes! An inspired leap by Phil, there. *hands over illusory baton*
Oh crikey - bit of a lurker's win, but "hey ho" all's fair in love and AVMA.
So our next puzzle will be:

Mineral, Vegetable and Animal

Fish and chips?
[Raak] Cod n spud? NO
France?
[GL] La Belle France? NON
Is it edible?
Does the mineral portion of the MV&A constitute the majority component of the answer?
Does the vegetable portion of the MV&A constitute the plurality component of the answer?
Does the animal portion of the MV&A constitute the primary component of the answer?
Does the conjunction portion of the MV&A constitute the primary component of the answer?
[Dujon] Mineral > Veg + Animal? YES
[CdM] Veg > Animal AND Veg > Mineral? NO
[GL] Animal is "primary component"? Not entirely sure what that means precisely, but I'm confident with a NO
[Boolbar] "Conjunction portion"? As an Austrian friend of mine used to say in French lessons, "My friend, I am completely lost"
Great answers but is it edible?
Is there just one of it?
And is it edible?
Is the mineral part a liquid?
[Conjunction] As mineral, animal and vegetable had already been taken, I was left with the "and" ;)
My sincerest apologies:
[Raak] Edible? NO
[Raak] Unique? YES
[Boolbar] Liquid mineral? NO {Re: conjunction - ah, very good :-)}
Was it man-made?
[Primary Component] Either the initial component or that from which the majority is made.
If that doesn't make sense, I apologise. English is my first language, so I tend to play with it until I break it.
Is it in a building?
[GL] Man-made? YES
[Boolbar] In a building? NO *applause and hubbub*
A landmark of the type that a tourist would visit?
[cfm] Tourist-magnet? YES *applause*
I've forgetten my next question
CdM, Gusset Login & Boolbar: Thanks, it's not often I get a chuckle out of MV&A.
[Dujon] Imaginary next question? I've forgotten the answer ;-)
Is it in Europe?
Is the vegetable portion in Canada?
Is the animal part alive?
Is the animal part human in whole or in part?
[Boolbar] In Europe? YES
[CdM] Veg portion in Canada? NO
[Raak] Animal part alive? NO
[cfm] Animal part human? NO!
Is it more than 300 years old?
[Boolbar] > 300 years old? YES and NO. You might wish to pick another number *a little applause and much chattering amongst the audience*
Is the animal part bone?
Is it in England?
[cfm] bone? NO
[Boolbar] In England? YES *some applause*
Hidden textI confess, I had to use the Whoops! button earlier, as I said NO to Europe, forgetting temporarily that the UK is a part thereof. How 70s of me!
Stonehenge?
[Software] Stonehenge? NO
Is the animal part leather?
[Raak] Leather? YES
Is it larger than an adult Old English Sheepdog?
Is it smaller than the New York Stock Exchange?
Is it a vehicle?
Is it a building?
[Boolbar] Bigger than the Dulux dog? YES
[Tuj] Smaller than NYSE? NO
Hidden textBeing unfamiliar with NY, that took some research!
*some applause*
[Raak] A vehicle? NO
[cfm] A building? YES *more applause*
Is the mineral element stone?
[cfm] Mineral = Stone? YES *a bit more applause*
Is it in London?
[Chalky] In that London? NO
A famous library?
A Museum?
[cfm] Library? NO
[Boolbar] Museum? NO
A tannery?
[Raak] Tannery? NO - I would just add that the leather is very much a minor component
Is the vegetable element wood?
A religious building?
[cfm] Wood? YES
[Raak] Religious? NO
A commercial location?
[CdM] Commercial location? NO, using UPS's definition of a "commercial address".
If you meant "has it been used in an advertisement?" then the answer is YES
Is it less than 50 miles away from Cambridge?
The Cambridge in England that is. The one where half the boat race comes from.
[Boolbar] <50 miles to Cambridge? NO
Associated with an academic institution?
[cfm] Academic? NO
Is it a National Trust property?
[Boolbar] NT? NO
Does anyone live in it?
[Raak] Inhabited? YES *some applause*
Is the leather component, though minor, essential in some sense?
[CdM] Essential leather? NO - not worth focussing on, IMHO.
Is its latitude less than 52° N?
[Boolbar] Lat < 52oC? YES *much glowing of smartphones as audience members check the veracity of Phil's reply, followed by knowing smiles and a slow spread of applause*
Buckingham Palace?
[Software] Buckingham Palace? NO *applause and eager anticipation of a victory*
The Royal Pavilion at Brighton?
[Raak] Brighton Pavilion? NO
Tower of London?
[Software] Tower of London? NO
Is it in a county that ends with "shire" ?
It is associated with royalty?
Windsor Castle?
[Boolbar] In a shire? YES
[Raak] Associated with royalty? NO, not closely in the sense I think you mean.
[Software] Windsor Castle? NO
I think a couple of questions could be useful to revisit the answers to (and the audience's reactions). "Latitude" and "Older than 300 years" would be of interest, from memory.
Would longitude be of particular importance?
The Royal Observatory in Greenwich?
[Dujon] Longitude particularly important? NO, other than its importance for any building
[CdM] Greenwich Observatory? NO
I would also remind you that someone lives in it.
Clarence House?
[Clarence House] NO - it's in a "-shire" county
Blenheim Palace?
[Raak] Blenheim Palace - YES. In retrospect, I might have left the leather element out altogether. The latitude at 51.84oN is just less than 52, and the palace was being built 300 years ago.
So, I pass on the baton to Raak with Churchillian gravitas.
The next is ANIMAL.
Audience chuckles as the answer goes up on the laser display board.
Human?
Not human
More chuckling.
Alive?
A single animal?
Mythological?
Not alive.
Not a single animal.
Not mythological.
The audience derives some merriment from all these questions.
Is it manufactured from part or parts of a dead animal?
A dead parrot?
[GL] *applause* Yes, manufactured from dead animals.
[Phil] Not that dead animal.
Glue?
A Tesco economy beefburger?
Leatherwear?
[CdM] Not glue.
[INJ] Not leatherwear.
[Phil] I think that's close enough to the words on the card, "a horsemeat burger". Have this rod of horse, um, jerky.
The laughter was fun :-)
So, next we'll have,

ABSTRACT - with Animal associations

Is the animal connection human?
[Boolbar] Human animal connection? YES
A fictional human?
[GL] Fictional human? NO
The regulations that prohibit horsemeat from human consumption?
[Raak] Anti-equivoreal Regulations? NO
A unique human?
Is it found in the Bible?
Begins with P?
Culture-specific?
[cfm] Unique human? NO
[Boolbar] Found in The Bible? YES *a few chuckles*
[Tuj] Begins with P? YES Applause, cheers, whoops and laughter
[CdM] Culture-specific? YES
Are there other animal associations as well as human?
Philistine?
Question, not insult (well, probably).
[Boolbar] Other animals? NO
[CdM] Me-istine? NO
Pornographic?
:o)
Paternalism?
[Software] Rudey bits? NO!
[cfm] Daddyness? NO
Pilates exercises?
[Raak] Pilates? NO
Paganism?
[cfm] Paganism? NO
Does the answer on the card have more than one word?
[Boolbar] AOC has > 1 word? YES

NB, on reflection for Tuj's "Does it begin with P?" question, I should add that the most important part of the answer on the card starts with "P".

A painted sepulchre?
Is the important P-thing you?
Related to a particular belief system?
Is it related to prayer?
[Raak] Painted sepulchre? NO
[Tuj] Me? NO
[cfm] Related to a particular belief system? NO
[GL] Prayer? NO
A plague of something?
[Raak] Plague? NO
Is there a person's name in the answer?
Related to food?
[Boolbar] A name? NO
[cfm] Foody? NO
A prophesy?
[Raak] Prophesy? NO
Is the specific culture geographically defined/distinct?
[cfm] Geographically defined specific culture? NO - plus I have not strictly said it's one culture.
[Phil] Indeed, I should have asked is/are the specific culture(s) geographically defined/distinct? Thanks for the conscientious clarification, though. :)
Related to language?
[cfm] Related to language? YES *Audience wakes up and applauds*
A parable?
Is it related to many other written works as well as the bible?
[Raak] A parable? NO
[INJ] Related to many other works? YES *enthusiastic applause*
Page number?
[GL] Page number? NO
A catch phrase?
[cfm] A catch phrase? NO
Related to language?
[INJ] Related to language? YES *more enthusiastic applause*
Is the P-word someone's name?
[Raak] A P-name? NO
Does it start with "Ph"?
A Proper Noun?
Has anyone done or used this in this game?
Anything to do with preaching?
[GL] Ph- ? NO
[INJ] A proper noun? NO
[Boolbar] Has it been used in this game? YES, many, many times. *Applause, cheers and a few knowing chuckles*
[Raak] To do with preaching? NO
To do with playing?
A pun?
[Raak] To do with playing? NO
[CdM] A pun? NO.
Some clarification
While I have said no to playing, puns, preaching, proper nouns, philistines, page numbers, catch phrases and others, the answer on the card is related to all these things in a way.
Printed words?
[GL] Printed words? NO (but again, related as above).
The letter P?
[Boolbar] The letter P? YES - plaudits, pleasantries, praise and power be thine. Passing this practically perfect pole of power from person-to-person in the pursuit of pedantic pleasure is a project of prime privilege. Phew!
[Phil] Bravo!
Blimey! Funny enough, I needed a p after all that.
 
Let's do this ...
ABSTRACT (WITH ANIMAL, MINERAL & VEGETABLE ASSOCIATIONS)
An activity
A cracking start.
[NotJohn] Being active? - YES   *Audience look keen*
Creation?
Peeing?
[Gusset Login] Creation? Did you mean The Creation or the act of creation in general? Either way, NO.
However, the AOTC was created, if your meaning was "is it a creation?"
[Phil] Micturate? NO.
A game?
this is going well.
[Raak] Game-on! YES   *applause*
Normally takes place outdoors?
[NotJohn] Normally done outside?   YES
Does the game involve a ball?
Is it widely played in England?
[cfm] Ball Game?   NO.
[Phil] Widely played in England?
Hmmm. I suspect NO. It is played in England (as well as other countries), but not widely (as in often *and* all over the country, e.g. cricket or chess).
Does the game require forming teams?
Ultimate frisbee?
A spectator sport?
[cfm] Teams? NO. I'm sure it can be played with teams, but it isn't usually.
[CdM] Ultimate frisbee? NO.
[Raak] Spectator sport? I think the best answer is NO. But there is nothing to stop people watching!
Are there organised competitions?
Is it normally associated with one culture
e.g. Kabbadi (sp?)
Does the game involve equipment of some kind?
Do the players typically get muddy?
[Phil] Competitions?   YES. I know of at least one.
[ImNotJohn] One culture?   NO. I think.
[cfm] Equipment?   YES-ish. Players need an item to play the game, but calling it equipment is perhaps misleading. Would the pies in a pie-eating contest be called equipment?
[Raak]   Mud glorious mud? NO. But the opportunity is there.
Cheese-rolling?
Does the 'equipment' constitute the vegetable and mineral part of the definition?
[Phil] Chasing Cheese?   NO.  
[NotJohn] 'Equipment' vegetable/mineral?   YES for vegetable traditionally.   Some mineral items can also be used. *Audience applause and murmur*
Is it a game in which two people play against each other?
Is there a non-human animal connection?
Does this involve the throwing/tossing of an object?
Does it involve climbing?
Is the vegetal matter wood?
[Raak] One-against-one? YES.   Or more than two. At least two.
[cfm] Non-human animal? In an abstract way, there is a connection, so YES.   *Audience mutter*
[Dujon] Tossing? YES *A ripple of applause*   Or at least using gravity.
[NotJohn] Climbing? NO.
[Phil] Vegetable wood? YES! *A wave of applause*   The vegetable part could also be a mineral to play, but in the origins of the game, it was vegetable (wood).
Poohsticks?
Golf?
Winner!
[Raak] A hole in one?   NO.
[NotJohn] Poohsticks?   YES!!   Your stick has passed under the bridge first.
Hands NotJohn a somewhat moist twig.
It's the little flick of the wrist as you drop it that makes all the difference.
OK, this one is VEGETABLE or (ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections)
Wooden Horse?
[Phil] Sylvan equine? - NO
A vegetable?
As in, "a vegetable" being the answer, metaphorical for someone irreversibly brain-dead.
Some great guesses here
[Raak] Vegetable vegetable? - NO
Trojan Horse?
Is this a homograph?
A wooden sculpture?
A swede?
[GL] Trojan Horse? - NO
[Chalky] Homograph? - Tricky, I think it could be argued either way, but I'd go for - NO
[Raak] Wooden Sculpture? - NO
[Dujon] Swede? - NO
Is the Animal a human?
Is it usually eaten?
[Chalky] - Human animal? - YES
[Boolbar] Usually eaten? - NO
Made of paper?
[CdM] Papery? - NO, but * a few suppressed chuckles in the audience*
Is it unique?
Made of wood?
Some progress
[Boolbar] Only 1? - YES for the Animal
[Phil] Woody? - YES for the vegetable
Fictitional Animal?
[Chalky] Fictional Animal? - NO
Is it a tree?
Aha!
[Boolbar] A Tree? - YES *prolonged applause*
Family tree?
[Software] Genealogical? - NO
A specific kind of tree?
Warm
[CdM] Specific kind of tree? - YES *further applause*
Rowan?
Tree of Life?
[Phil] - Rowan? - NO? (So not ROWAN Atkinson, nor ASHley Cole, nor Gabriel OAK, etc)
[cfm] Tree of Life? - NO
Joshua Tree?
[cfm] U2 Tree? - NO (I wondered if someone would guess that)
There is no cheating or discrepancy going on here - the answer, exactly as stated on the card, is both a kind of tree and a unique human animal. Attacking either part is possible. Perhaps inevitably some people will find one alternative easier than the other.
Sequoyah?
[Raak] Sequoia? - NO (I'll look up your spelling - mine is that required to make it the equal shortest word containing all vowels once only)
{Raak] Isn't that fascinating - thank you. It's also a very good guess. Just happens to be incorrect.
Is the tree an evergreen?
Is the unique human male?
[Boolbar] Evergreen - YES
[cfm] - male? - YES
Did he die before 1900?
Died pre-1900? - NO *the audience is hushed*
Courtney Pine?
[Chalky] Courtney Pine? - NO
Stan Laurel?
[Phil} - A laurel called Stan? - NO
Just a a gentle prod, the person is probably the harder element to get for most of you.
Is it a pine tree?
[Boolbar] A pine? - Technically NO, but commonly YES *applause*
Scots pine?
A fir?
[cfm] McPine? - NO
[Raak] Firry? - NO
The monkey puzzle?
I thank my dear late father for one of his useless facts.
Araucaria
We have a winner AND we have a winner
The answer on the card is Araucaria, aka the Monkey Puzzle tree or the Chilean Pine.
Araucaria is also the pseudonym of the Rev. John Galbraith Graham, the doyen of British cryptic crossword compilers, who recently announced that he is suffering from terminal cancer using the answers to clues in one of his puzzles to do so. (Araucaria is suffering from 18 down of the 19, where the clue to 18 down was 'Sign of growth (6)')
Well then, now what do I do - Phil is exactly right, but he set the last one and in the absence of his answer I would have allowed Software's, so I will.
One 'Stick to continue the innings (5)' passed on to Software.
Department of Corrections
That's 'last but one'
Indeed, I meant to add that if I got that right, I would give the baton to Software, as I would not have got it without him. I remember the day (probably early 1990s) that I discovered what the crossword compiler's name meant. I hadn't heard about his illness though. Anyway, onwards and upwards (or downwards and acrosswards)
Department of useless facts
John Graham also sets puzzles under the pseudonym 'Cinephile', which is an anagram of 'Chile Pine'.
Ah, that'll be me then accepting the prickly baton.
Right, ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections.
Red rum?
Human?
Fictional?
Animal the Muppet drummer?
[GL] Horse meat? NO
[cfm] One of us? YES!
[NJ] Virtual? NO
[Bool] Don't be a Muppet. NO
A unique human?
Currently alive?
[cfm] One-off? YES!
[NJ] Living? YES!
A male?
[Phil] Manly? YES!
The creative type? (writer, visual artist, performer, etc.)
Does this person have some language other than English as his mother tongue?
British?
Is or was involved in politics?
[cfm] arty farty? NO
[CdM] Bilingual? NO
[Raak] True Brit? YES!
[NJ] political animal? NO *some muttering among the audience*
Involved in government?
A member of the Royal Family?
[cfm] Elected? NO *more mutterings in audience*
[Phil] Royalty?NO
A scientist?
Has this person received an honour from the Queen?
A non-elected government employee?
A journalist?
[Phil] Boffin? NO *guffaws from some of the audience*
{Raak} Dubbed? YES! *mutterings among some of the audience*
[cfm] Quangoish? NO *some of the audience have views on this it would seem*
[NJ] Hack? NO
Sebastian Newbold Coe, Baron Coe CH KBE?
David Beckham?
[Raak] Superman? NO
[Phil] Becks? NO
Involved in the Justice system?
[NJ] Judiciary? NO
Involved in the sporting world?
A broadcaster?
[Raak] Sporty?: NO
[Phil] Pundit?: NO (not in the normal sense anyway)
Under 50 years old?
Over 70 years old?
[Phil] <50 years?: NO
[Bool] >70 years?: NO
A businessman?
[Raak] Something in the city?: NO
Does he begin with P?
Involved with education?
An Entrepreneur?
A celebrity chef?
[CdM] P?: NO
[NJ] Tutor?: NO * mutterings among some of the audience *
[Chalks] Wheeler Dealer?: NO
[Raak] Cooking fat?: NO
Summary
A living British man between 50 and 70 with a gong, but not any of: a creative, a non-native English speaker, a politician, a politician in power, employed by the government, a journalist, in the legal profession, a sportsman, a broadcaster, a businessman, a P_____, an educator, an entrepreneur, or a chef.
Was he formerly in any of those professions but is now retired?
[Raak] Retiree?: NO
Has he published written works?
*focusing on the abstract* Do we know about him because of a song or piece of music?
Do we know about him because of something that happened to him?
continuing the thought
Does he work in PR?
[CdM] Author?: NO not in the strictest interpretation, that is
[Chalks] Musical?: NO
[NJ] Events?: YES!
[Phil] Spinner?: NO * chuckles from some of the audience *
Is he known for inventing something?
Was he the victim of a crime?
Did the "something that happened to him" happen outside the United Kingdom?
[Bool] Inventor? NO
[NJ] Mugged? NO
[CdM]Overseas? NO
Did he mount or inspire some kind of protest?
Does he have a Wikipedia entry?
Is he a 'Sir .....'?
[cfm] Protester? NO * some heated discussion among part of the audience +
[Phil] Wikied? YES!
[Chalks] Knighted? NO * spontaneous sporadic claps from audience *
Has this person been stripped of his honour from the Queen?
[Bool] Demoted? NO
Has he received the Order of the British Empire?
Does he have an employer?
[GL] OBE etc? NO
[Phil] Employer? YES! * chuckles from some of the audience *
Is he a 'Lord ...'?
Is he a Duke?
[Chalks] Peer of the Realm? YES!
[GL] Duke? NO
A life peer?
[GL] Lifer? YES!
A man of the cloth?
The Lord Williams of Oystermouth?
(simulposted with Phil)
[Phil] Sky pilot? YES!
[CdM] Lord Who? NO.
Justin Portal Welby?
[NJ] The Lord Archbishop? YES!

Well done! Please accept this Shepherd's Crook shaped baton!

pedantry rears my ugly head
He's not, technically, a life peer, is he? I know ex-Arch B's of C generally are given life peerages, but not until they're ex. I think. I could well be wrong, though :-)
But no applause for my guess? That audience was harsh! Also, not to cavil, but saying "we know about him because of something that happened to him" seems to be dissing someone who rose to the highest possible point on his career path. A bit like saying we know David Cameron or Jack Welch because of something that happened to them (being elected, being appointed by a Board of Directors).
Hmmm.
Yes, I think Sir Alec would have had a few things to say about the ref in that round - I didn't guess earlier because I was sure CdM was right.

Moving on we'll have primarily VEGETABLE with major ANIMAL connections - In fact technically, there are also significant Mineral and Abstract associations as well, but that's not going to help at this stage

Can I eat it?
Can I eat it if Boolbar doesn't?
[Boolbar/CdM] Edible? - NO?
Bigger than a breadbox?
[cfm] > breadbox? - YES
Is the Vegetable part the Animal connection's habitat?
[Raak] Is the Vegetable part the Animal connection's habitat? - YES, you could put it like that (a little ripple)
Is the animal a bird?
Is the animal human?
Is the animal a fish?
Going OK so far
[cfm] avian? - NO
[Raak] Human? - YES
GLogin] Piscine? - NO
A log cabin?
[GL] Log Cabin? - NO *audience is stirring, some applausse heard*
Unique?
A famous home?
Warm
[CdM] just the 1? - YES
[cfm] Famous home? - YES *sustained applause*
Located in Europe?
In the USA?
[GL] Bravo
Well, this is very efficient
[cfm] European? - NO
[Tuj] USian? - YES
Built in the 20th century?
[cfm] C20? - NO
George Washington's home at Mount Vernon?
Is it famous because someone famous lived there?
Does it begin with the initial letter of Pennsylvania?
And the winner is
[Raak] Mount Vernon it is!!
I've just been reading a biography. Interesting that his greatness is as much about when he gave up power as when he wielded it.
Here, have this branch of a cherry tree I've just cut down as a baton.
Ah, so this is why my memory failed to conjure up a vision of a wooden house.
Q: Is the mansion at Mount Vernon built of wood or stone?
A: Mount Vernon is of frame construction, and the sheathing is beveled and covered with a mixture of paint and sand to give the appearance of stone.
Never actually been there, so I just went straight to Wikipedia, which just says 'The mansion is built of wood in neoclassical Georgian architectural style'.
The next is ANIMAL.
Is it unique?
Human?
[Notboolbarjohn] A unique human.
Is the unique human male?
Is this human still alive?
[cfm] Male.
[Boolbar] Alive.
Begins with P?
The odds aren't good on our 4-0 start continuing...
[Tuj] **applause** Yes, I think it would be fair to say so.
Is this unique living male human beginning with P European?
[CdM] Almost certainly European.
Is the answer a title rather than a name?
The next pope?
[NotJohn] Yes!
[CdM] The exact words on the card! Habemus papam! *a puff of white smoke emerges from a cottage in north Wales*
Fastest ever?
Well, yes, that was what I was hinting at, but I didn't want to hog it.
We got that one with 8 guesses, all answered 'Yes'. That must be a record.
[NJ] Well, except for this. And, yes, I knew that you had probably guessed the answer, but I didn't want to let the streak be broken.

All right. A nice easy MINERAL .
Unique?
Cor.
Primarily Rock/stone?
Of course, if the Ghanaian or Canadian cardinal is appointed then we will have to come back and rewrite one of the YESs as a NO)
On/in the Earth?
Unique? Yes. But, oddly enough, also No.
Primarily Rock/stone? Yes. *applause*
On/in the earth? Yes.
Incidentally, there is also an animal connection, but I was unaware of it until I started reading Wikipedia, and I suspect it won't be useful.
Is it smaller than Kylie Minogue?
Begin with 'P' ?
A human construction?
The remains of the Chelyabinsk meteor?
Smaller than Kylie? No.
Begins with P? Yes?
Human construction? No. (*a few members of the audience whisper among themselves about some technicalities, but agree with the conclusion*)
Meteoric remains? No. ( *a few members of the audience applaud the insight of the question*)
A natural geographic feature?
Pyramid of Cheops?
Natural geographic feature? Well, yes and no. The spirit of the question points to Yes, but I am not sure it really qualifies as a geographic feature, and there is some potential quibbling about natural (see "Human construction?").
Pyramid of Cheops? No.
The parallel roads?
You know how it is - you have a thought and just have to throw the guess in even though there's plenty more digging to be done.
Is it south of the Tropic of Cancer?
Parallel roads? No.
South of Tropic of Cancer? No.
In one single geographical location?
The North Pole?
In one location? Strictly speaking, No.
North Pole? No.
Geographic location modified by man?
Geographic location modified by man? I am really having trouble knowing how to answer this. The answer does not refer to a geographic location as such, though it does refer to something associated with a particular geographic location.

I think you just asked this that so you can get revenge on my quibbling about your previous one. :-)
Does it move?
Is this a jewel?
Does it move? Not in general, no.
A jewel? No.
This is one of those topics that i thought would be relatively straightforward when I thought of it, but was a bit more complicated once I did a bit of research. You might find the best route is to think in terms of the geographic location.
Is the associated geographic location in Europe?
In Europe? No.
Is the associated geographic location in Asia?
In Asia? No.
You might also want to revisit the audience applause.
Is the associated geographic location in N America?
Welcome back, Chalky
North America? Yes.
Is the answer on the card the name of the rock/stone?
Thanks CdM.
Is it connected with mining/drilling?
Answer on card name of rock/stone? Yes. *applause*
Connected to mining? No.
Is the geographical bit a mountain?
Yellowstone Park?
Mountain? No. *some laughter*
Yellowstone? No.
Does it have a superficies of less than 1 square mile?
Superficial superficies? Yes.
Is the word begining with P the location of the AOTC?
P-word = location? Yes. *applause* (Technically, actually, the answer is Yes and No, but that would mislead much more than it would help.)
Roxbury Puddingstone?
Roxbury Puddingstone? *googles* No.
In the USA?
In the USA? Yes. I think this is eminently guessable now.
Plymouth Rock?
And I was right!
Plymouth Rock is correct!

Never having been there, I had always assumed it was just this place on the coastline. But no. Turns out it is a smallish rock (though bigger than Kylie!) that has been split into two (not to mention having lots of smaller pieces chipped off it), and both pieces have been moved. One is still in Plymouth, and one is in Brooklyn.

*chips off baton-sized piece and hands it to cfm*
[CdM] *declines contraband baton* You can get arrested for that, you know. :-) Okay, let's try this:
ABSTRACT with animal assocations
Is the animal association a single human?
NotJohn's retired "Im"?
A piece of music?
[INJ] Singularly human? NO. There are multiple associations.
[Tuj] Nominal amputations? NO but *laughs*
[CdM] Hum a few bars? NO
Are the animals referred to by association human?
Is it a well-known saying?
Is there a religious or spiritual connection?
But is it art?
[Phil Human association? YES and NO. There are multiple animal associations and at least one of them is human.
[Boolbar] Just sayin'? NO.
[NJ] Prayer and stuff? NO
[Tuj] Artful? YES *applause*
The visual arts?
A story?
Is the answer on the card a single word?
[NJ] Eyes have it? YES *applause*
[Phi] Tell me a story? YES *fair and equal applause*
[Tuj] One word answer? NO
Related to a TV series?
[Tuj] TV-related? NO
Film/movie related?
[NJ] Wide screen? YES *applause*
Was it nominated for an Academy Award?
[GL] Nods from the Academy? YES *three thundrous claps*
Was it a winner of the Best Picture award?
Came out since 1/1/2000?
[Cdm] Top honor? NO
[NJ] Post-2000? NO
Begins with P?
Is Meryl Streep in the film?
[Tuj] I'll have the usual? NO
[Boolbar] Meryl-y on our way? NO
Did it win an Academy Award?
[GL] Oscar winner? YES
Was it filmed in color?
Does the answer on the card include the word 'king'?
[CdM] Full spectrum? NO
[Dujon] Royal treatment? NO
Did it star Jimmy Stewart?
[CdM] That leading man? NO *audience perks up a smidge*
Was it a musical?
[NJ] Musical? NO.
Passport to Pimlico?
[Software] P-to-P? NO (I don't think that won any Oscars.)
(Players may want to revisit unresolved questions around animal associations?)
Was the Oscar won in the 1950s?
[Phil] 50s vintage? NO *a little twitter from the audience*
earlier?
[NJ] Pre-1950? NO
The Poseidon Adventure?
Is it an English language film?
[Software] Fish story? NO
[Boolbar] English language? YES
To recap, The AOTC is both an English language story and a non-musical, black-and-white film made between 1959 and 1999. It has won 3 Academy Awards, but none of those were for Best Picture. There is at least one human association (hard to imagine a story or film without one) but there may be other animal associations, as well. Oddly, the audience perked up at the mention of a leading man not connected to the film--perhaps because the players were getting warm in some way. It could also point to another productive line of questioning. :-)
Did it win the Academy Award for Best Actor?
Is this black-and-white movie from the 60s?
Psycho?
[Boolbar] Leading leading man? YES *vigorous applause*
[Chalky 1] Product of the 60s? YES *applause continues*
[Chalky 2] Shower scene? NO
To Kill A Mockingbird?
Has to be, surely...
[CdM] TKAM, surely? YES. A favorite film. I came perilously close to naming a kid Atticus.
*hands CdM the severed leg of a busted up chiffarobe* Careful now, don't get yourself a splinter.
Well, once we know we were looking for a multiple-oscar-winning B&W movie post 1960, it was pretty easy, even without the answer to Boolbar's question.
MINERAL with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections
Unique?
metallic?
Bigger than Dame Judi Dench?
Unique? Yes.
Metallic? No.
Bigger than Judi? *audience laughter* Bigger than Dame Judi and Dame Maggie combined!
A statue?
A statue? No.
A building?
A building? No.
Human-made?
Human-made? Most definitely not.
Mountainous?
Is it in Europe?
Begins with P?
Mountainous? No.
In Europe? No.
Begins with P? Yes.
Does it have a border?
Is it a desert?
Does it have a border? Depends what you mean by a border. In a sense it does, yes, but you might want to clarify what you mean.
Is it a desert? No.
Of this earth?
Of this earth? Yes. *a little muttering in the audience*
Is there a connection to the earth's atmosphere?
Is it underground?
Connection to atmosphere? Well, yes, for a fairly broad definition of "connection"
Underground? No.
Is it less than 65 million years old?
Is it wet?
Now we are getting somewhere
Less than 65 million years old? No. *applause*
Wet? Yes. *applause*
Might this be an expanse of water?
Is it likely to be a source of preciptation?
Might this be an expanse of water? Yes it might.
Source of precipitation? Only in the sense that an expanse of water is an indirect source of precipitation.
Is it a pacific ocean?
Pacific Ocean. No. *some more muttering in the audience*
(I think that my No is the best answer, but the mutterers do have a point.)
The Philippine Sea?
Phil's sea? No.
Is it contained within the Pacific Ocean?
Contained within the Pacific Ocean? No.
Patagonian fjords?
Patagonian crinkly bits? No.
Panama Canal?
Is it bigger than Wales?
(clarifying) ...in surface area?
In the possession of a single country?
*pondering the audience applause for the age question*
Is it a glacier? *trying to imagine how a body of water gets classified as mineral*
Panama Canal? No.
Bigger than Wales? Yes.
In the possession of a single country? No. *some laughter*
A glacier? No. (And, yes, that is I guess a legitimate question/complaint. I think that in this game we generally take a broad definition of "mineral". For example:
4 : something neither animal nor vegetable.
The answer on the card certainly wouldn't fit the more narrow definition of mineral, which includes the word "solid". I am not sure how else I should classify a body of water, though. In any case, you (the group) have correctly figured out that this is a body of water, bigger than Wales, more than 65 million years old, with some muttering about whether or not it is a Pacific Ocean.)
Is it under the Antarctic ice cap?
Under Antarctica? No.
*Stands corrected and clearly uninitiated* Does the P stand for Pacific?
P for Pacific? No. (And I don't think you should stand corrected at all. Your definition is more standard than the one I was (unthinkingly) using.)
Panthalassa?
Panthalassa is correct! Three hundred million years ago (give or take a decade), our current continents were joined in the single landmass of Pangaea. Panthalassa was the ocean surrounding that continent. Or, if you prefer, the giant salt lake in the middle of it. It can be thought of as the precursor of the current Pacific Ocean. I had originally planned to make Pangaea the word on the card, but when I checked some sources (ok, ok, wikipedia) I learned about Panthalassa, and thought that sounded more fun.

*passes NJ some empty space with a baton-shaped hole in the middle*
Oops - Sorry for the lurker's victory
Let's try ABSTRACT with significant Animal connections (Mrs NJ thinks it should actually be Animal)
Is it fictional?
Is it a taxonomic class?
Does it refer to a group of animals (more broadly than in the sense of Raak's question)?
Unique?
[CdM] That's my one new thing for the day, ta!
[GL] Unreal? - NO
[Raak] Group of creatures? - NO
[CdM] Group of creatures? - NO
[Tuj] Just the one? - YES (though not a very meaningful question or answer)
Is it a characteristic or feature of an animal?
A human invention?
Onomatopoeia?
Cold
[CdM] Animalish thing? - NO
[Tuj] Man-made-up? - NO
[cfm] Sounds like? - NO
Phrase of saying?
[Software] I say, I say? - NO
Begins with P?
Are the animal connections human?
[Tuj] P-ness? - One of the words on the card begins with a P
[CdM] Oh, the Humanity? - YES
Is the AOTC a post/job/position held by a person?
Connected with a particular geographic location?
[Chalky] Gissa job? - NO
[Tuj] In one place? - YES *for the first time the audience shows some interest*
Is the particular geographic location in Africa?
[Boolbar] African? - NO
Geo = Europe?
Is the association a particular country?
[Software] EU? - NO
[Tuj] Is the association a particular country? - NO (but I'm not quite sure what the question is asking)
(*the audience is still attentive at this line of questioning*)
Is this a race or tribe of peoples?
[Chalky] Race/tribe? - NO (Remember, it's abstract)
A language?
A belief system of some kind?
[Chalky] Lingo? - NO
[cfm] Belief system? - NO
A disease?
Is the particular geographic location a body of water?
[Chalky] Poorly? - NO
[Boolbar] Watery? - NO
Connected with religion?
Is the particular geographic location in the Southern Hemisphere?
Back to basics: Is the AOTC the name of a place?
[Tuj] God-bothery? - NO
[CdM] Meridional? NO
[Chalky] Place Name? - Not as such but *considerable applause*
Do the animal connections involve more than 10 humans?
[CdM] >10 people? - YES (quite a lot more, but I won't be able to give you an exact figure)
Related to a trade or skill?
To do with a nation or race?
[cfm] Artisanry? - NO
[Software] Nation/Race? - NO (or only vaguely)
To do with a religion?
[Phil] Religion? - Well, it wasn't when Tuj asked, but He does move in mysterious ways *checks* - Still NO
Clarification
I should probably have been slightly less dismissive of Software's question wrt a nation. There is a bit of a link there, but I'm afraid it might lead you astray. The answer is still NO.
To do with politics?
If it does suddenly become to do with religion, you will let me know, right?
[Phil] Political? - NO (or only obliquely)
Is it something that people do at a particular location?
Is it related to light?
A website?
We apologise for the short break in service
[Boolbar] Let's do the show right here? - NO - not 'do'
[Tuj] Et lux erat? - NO
[Chalky] Where the spiders are? - NO
Is this a custom or tradition linked with a particular location?
Race rather than nation related?
[Chalky] Custom/tradition - I certainly hope not
[Software] Race v Nation - a bit of both (depends on your pov), but I'd still answer NO to either.
An area which covers part/all of more than one country?
Would you characterize this as a negative phenomenon or experience?
Is this connected with death?
Progress of a sort
[Dujon] >1 country? - NO
[cfm] Negative? YES (phenomenon or experience? - NO)
[Chalky] Connected with death - YES
Does it involve deliberate killing of humans?
[CdM] You have deaded me? - YES *applause*
Is it a method of killing humans?
[cfm] Method of Killing? - NO
The Black Plague?
(I seem to have mashed up "Black Death" and "bubonic plague." Abomination!)
The death penalty?
[Quendalon] Bubonic Death? - NO
[CdM] Judicial killing? - NO
(Remember - associated with a specific location) - let me re-answer Tuj's earlier question - the association is not a specific country, but is in a specific country. Also, I should probably have answered Phil's question about Politics a bit more positively - there is a link, but that's not the essence of the answer.
Is this a mass graveyard?
Is the geographic region (in) North America?
[Chalky] Mass Grave? - NO *a little ripple*
[Quendalon] Norteamericano? - NO
Associated with a specific historical event?
[Quendalon] Specific historical event? - YES *some relieved applause*
Did it take place in Asia?
Did the historical event occur before 1800?
A WW1 Cemetary?
Named after a person?
[Phil] Asian? - YES *more relieved applause*
[Boolbar] pre-1800? - NO
[Chalky] Rows of crosses?- NO
[Quendalon] eponymous? - NO
Did the killings involve firearms?
A shot in the dark.
Getting warm
[Quendalon] Shots in the dark and light? - YES
The My Lai (Pinkville) Massacre?
I was briefly sure that the answer had to be the My Lai massacre because INJ started this AVMA on its 45th anniversary. Then I was convinced that was wrong because of the lack of a P-word. Then googling revealed that My Lai was codenamed "Pinkville", which I hadn't known. So now I am convinced I am right again. :-)
Ha! I was waiting for that.
[CdM] My Lai? - NO but *considerable applause*
The Panjiayu Tragedy?
Going off to look it up
[Phil] Panjiayu? - NO
How about the Pingdingshan one then?
(good old wikipedia)
Let me follow you through wikipedia
[Phil] Pingpong? - NO (IMO it's less obscure - I didn't look it up)
Did this event take place in China?
[Phil] Sinitic? - NO
Phong Nhi and/or Phong Nhat massacres?
Yet more wikipedia for me
[cfm] Phong Not? - NO
(Bonus answer 'Massacre? - NO')
Did the historical event occur before 1920?
Did more than one person perform the actual killing?
[Boolbar] Pre 1920? - NO
[Quendalon] >1 killers? - YES *a few chuckles in the audience*
The 38th Parallel?
[Chalky] Korean? - NO
Was this a key event in a war?
In Asia. Which has been established. I think.
Aha!
[Chalky] Key event in a war? - YES *considerable applause* (and yes, Asia (not China or Korea) has been established)
So .. are we talking Vietnam then?
Which was NOT established by previous line of questioning.
or Japan?
The audience is beginning to pack bags.
[Chalky] Vietnam? - YES
[Phil] Therefore Japan? - NO
Dien Bien Phu?
Has Raak scored a lurker's victory?
The Battle of Dien Bien Phu?
... as you specifically stated earlier that this was not the name of a place.
There, that wasn't so hard, was it?
[Chalky] It is indeed The battle of Dien Bien Phu where a small French force held out for weeks against overwhelming Viet Minh forces before being comprehensively defeated. The French inability to relieve or effectively resupply the garrison spelt the end of French colonial ambitions in Indo-China.
Since I got this round as a bit of a lurker I feel disinclined to step into this quarrel, but the answer is specifically the battle, not the place.

Throws a baton in the air to see who will catch it.

Me!
Thank you NotJohn for a splendid AVMA - spookily not dissimilar to a subject that'd crossed my mind a few weeks ago - should the chair beckon.
So this is not that one, NotJohn - it's this one ..

ABSTRACT
Related to mathematics?
The #1 question on the board.
Begins with P?
Surely #2.
[NJ] And well done for not getting impatient as the team worked at getting there! Bit worried about those black-humoured audience members chuckling near the end...
Pi?
In case the previous two were both correct.
Related to the arts?
Some answers
(Quendalon) Mathematics? - NO only obliquely
(Tuj) P? - YES :)
(Gusset Login) Pi? - NO
(NotJohn) Arts? NO
Is the AOTC just one word?
Science-related?
A human invention?
Good questions
(Phil) One word answer - YES
(NotJohn) Science-related? - NO only obliquely
(Tuj) Human invention? - YES although I'd question the word 'invention'
Perfection?
[Phil] Perfection? NO *audience begins to pay attention*
Does the AOTC describe a state of being or quality?
Would the answer on the card exist in a world without humans?
(No, I don't think this question is rendered moot by Tuj's question...)
Apologies for absence -
(cfm) State of being or quality? - YES
(CdM) Exist in a world without humans? - NO :)
Is the word on the card an adjective?
Clever questioning ...
(Quendo) Adjective? - NO, not in this instance.
Is the word used in reference to animals (as opposed to homo sapiens solely)?
(Dujon) In reference to animals? - NO
Is it normally considered positive?
Is the AOTC a state of mind?
Is the word used in reference to humans?
(NotJohn) Positive? To some YES; to most, I suspect NO.
(cfm) State of mind? YES
(Quendalon) Humans? - still YES
Is the word used in reference to one gender significantly more than the other?
(Quendalon) Gender specific? - NO
any more for any more?
Linked to a particular culture?
Is it a recognised medical condition or syndrome?
Pleasure?
Associated with a particular geographic location?
Does the word on the card start with a prefix?
Pedantry
(CdM) Linked to a particular culture? - Erm ... N0 - well maybe a small 'yes' but am not sure if that's helpful. Am struggling with the culture word to be honest.
(NotJohn) Medical condition/syndrome? - NO
(Software) Pleasure? - NO.
(Tuj) Location location? - NO
(Quendalon) Prefixed word? - NO
(Phil) Pedantry? - NO but *appreciative sounds can be heard in the audience*
Related to religion?
(Quendalon) Religion-related? Could be - but not necessarily.
An attitude?
Related to philosophy?
Related to language?
(Dujon) An attitude? - YES it is. And more. *audience has perked up* .
(Quendalon) Philosophical? - if you scratch the surface, the AOTC might be ascribed to various philosophies - so I'd say more Yes than No. However, this could apply to most attitudes so my answer may not be too helpful.
(NotJohn) Language? - NO

*contemplating an earlier question by Quendalon regarding mathematics - perhaps I should have replied 'Yes, but only obliquely'*
Perfectionism?
(NotJohn) Perfectionism? - NO *audience remains perky*
Does the AOTC end with "ism" ?
Aha!
(Phil) -ism? - NO - although all three letters are contained within but not necessarily in the same order :)
Promise?
Is the word on the card a noun (in this instance)?
.. back in business

(Tuj) Promise? - NO
(Quendalon) A noun? YES indeed it is.
Perfect?
(Software) Perfect? - NO more than when Phil asked the same on 28th March :)

I chose this 'P' word because it has a succinct definition. A human trait, which we have established, which can easily be arrived at given some judicious questioning.
However, this word has another use which necessitates a change to a couple of my replies. Mathematical/Scientific/Philosophical links are rather stronger if this path to the solution is chosen.
... and what's more
... a little research tells me that this alternative use of my P word is the crux of a Subject for guessing in this very game back in 2005.
Related to anger?
Proof?
Is the 'P' silent?
(cfm) Related to anger? - NO
(Gusset Login) Proof? - NO (see my last reply to Phil)
(NotJohn) Silent P? - NO. A noisy one :)
Does the word on the card end with a suffix?
Flailing around in the dark, because frankly I'm stumped.
(Quendalon) Suffix? NO - nor an 'ology' or 'ism'

--- begins with a P and also contains the letters m, s and i within. One word. A human trait which is neither gender nor geographically related. Desirable to some but probably rather annoying for others.
This particular word has another use and is key to a scientific/mathematical/philosophical principle which was the subject for an AVMA in 2005.
Parsimony?
While I try to think of another way in.
Result!
Thank you and well played NotJohn - was hoping for an early solution today as I am in need of rescue ...
For me - Parsimony is frugality or excessive economy which was my starting point all those days ago. As for the secondary meaning - Occam's Razor was the subject of the AVMA (with the principle of parsimony at its technical core).

And I used the word 'rescue' advisedly. My daughter has just gone into early labour and I may needed at the hospital ...
*swiftly hands over baton to NotJohn on way out*
Calling Raak
[Chalky] Hope it all goes well
Yes, the mathematical and philosophical connotations did come to me after I'd thought of the word.
Now maybe I can remedy the unsatisfactory end to the previous game by suggesting that Raak gets his belated turn.
Who, me?
Er, ok then. The next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
[Chalky] Best wishes for all three of you.
Is the animal connection human?
Any artistic connection?
[cfm] Human
[NJ] Not artistic.
Is it the act of giving birth?
[Chalky] More best wishes winging their way to you.
Is there more than one word on the card?
[Chalky] Best wishes and congratulations! Remember that "Mornington Crescent" is a lovely name for a girl or a boy.
Is the answer a phrase or saying?
[Chalky, Ms Chalky] All the best!
An intellectual process?
[Chalky] How lovely! Also you look far too young to be a grandmother. :-)]
[B] Topical waaaah!!!? No.
[Q] More than one word.
[Tuj] Not a saying?
[cfm] Not intellectual.
we are not a grandmother .. yet
Thanks for all the good wishes! Bad News - daughter poorly. Good News - 32 wk foetus staying where it is for the time being.)
Sorry to interrupt your game Raak. I have a question .. coming up shortly
More than one human being?
Is it unique?
Is it an event?
[Chalky] More than one.
[Q] Not unique.
[NJ] Not an event.
Fictional?
[Chalky] Not fictional.
A group?
[GL] Not an organised group, although the people associated with this have something in common.
Do any of the words on the card start with 'P'?
[Q] No Ps anywhere.
[Raak] To be clear, is this simply a flamboyant way of saying no to the question that was asked, or are you providing additional information to the effect that the letter 'P' does not appear anywhere on the card?
[Q] The letter P does not occur anywhere on the card.
[Raak] Excellent, thank you!
This thing in common - medical/health connections?
Any political connections?
[Chalky] No medical/health connections.
[NJ] Yes, political connections.
The Iron Lady?
[S] Ding-dong? No.
A recognized voting block that is not formally organized?
Is it associated with a specific geographical area?
[cfm] Not a voting block.
[NJ] Not really. The thing on the card is found in many places.
Anarcho-syndicalism?
[Chalky] (laughter) Absolutely not anarcho-syndicalism.
The humans involved, are they politicians?
[Q] Not politicians.
Is it a political or economic philosophy?
[NJ] Not a philosophy, although it could be said to be connected with one.
A trade agreement?
[GL] Not a trade agreement.
Is there a fiscal or financial connection?
[NJ] *applause from those members of the audience who haven't been holding their breath so long they've expired* To do with money! Yes!
Does each instance of the phrase on the card relate to more than one human?
[Q] Er....no. Each instance involves one human.
How about playing Hangman for it! Is there a Ⱙ?
(hastily withdrawing his hand from the ventriloquist's dummy) No Ⱙ.
Is there a 'V'?
Hmm. Related to both politics and money. Each instance involves one human, and the people associated with this have something in common. Could be said to be connected with a philosophy.
[Q] No V.
Connected with individual wealth?
[NJ] **applause** Yes! Very much connected with individual wealth!
Income tax?
[CdM] Not income tax.
Connected with an increase in individual wealth?
Shareholder?
Unearned Income?
[GL] *more applause* Yes, an increase in individual wealth.
[S] Not shareholders.
[NJ] *laughter* Legally speaking, it is not classified as unearned income.
Union strike benefits?
[Q] Not strike benefits.
Expenses of some sort?
[NJ] Duck houses? No.
Associated with gambling?
Connected with Banker's Bonuses?
[NJ] Not gambling.
[GL] Not merely connected, but the very words on the card! Have this fat brown envelope.
Oh, um er... right

thanks

ANIMAL and VEGETABLE
Is the animal element human?
Is the vegetable edible?
[NJ] Oh the humanity? (animal) No.
[Chalky] Just eat it? (veg) Yes
Is the AOTC food?
[NJ] Glorious food? Yes, I believe most people would classify it as food.
Marmite?
Associated with a particular culture?
[Quenda] Yeeeach? No
[CdM] regional speciality? I would say, no, but some people disagree.
Savoury - as opposed to sweet?
Is it cooked?
[Chalky] Savoury? Yes
[Quenda] Heated? Yes
Containing multiple distinct (as opposed to mixed or blended) ingredients?
Is the animal part - meat?
[CdM] Clumps o'stuff? Yes
[Chalky] meat? (animal) Yes
Is the AOTC in the form 'A and B'?
As in 'Bangers and Mash'
Is there a liquid component?
Is it a sandwich?
Is it like a proper meal - Sunday Roast or suchlike?
Is the vegetable part potatoes cut into strips and deep fried?
Sorry for the delay, I was at a friend's funeral and couldn't get to the net.
[NJ] A + B? No
[cfm] liquid? There shouldn't be, No.
[Tuj] The Earl of foods? Yes
[Chalky] A meal in itself? No, its a sandwich, see Tuj's question above.
[Raak] Do you want fries with that? No.
A hero/hoagie/submarine sandwich?
A BLT?
[cfm] One of those types? It can be
[Chalky] BLT? Yes. Have a delicious baton.
<mode=ultrapedant>So the bread was made without salt? Yuk.</mode> Sorry, once I thought of it, I couldn't keep it to myself. Sorry again.
Gosh
Thanks GL - that was a swift conclusion - probably due the early airing of the 'edible' question.

Aiming for another quickie with:

MINERAL and VEGETABLE with a pedant-sized trace of ANIMAL

Is it a tool?
[NotJohn] Tool? NO
Something made of wood held together with metal?
[Raak] Wood held with metal? NO
A geographical feature?
Is it a sandwich?
Is the vegetable part potatoes cut into strips and deep fried?
[NotJohn] Geographical feature? YES
[Tuj] Sandwich? NO :)
[Gusset Login] Stripped fried spuds? NO :)
... furthermore - it doesn't begin with P.
Is its name something-or-other forest?
[Rosie - hello:)] Something-or-other forest? NO *audience perks up*
Is its name Mount something-or-other?
[GL] Mount ...? NO
Is it in a single country?
[Chalky] Oh, you answered a question I didn't ask! Perhaps "Is it a sandwich?" should become my default question...
Is it unique?
[GL] Unique? YES
[Tuj] In a single country? YES
In Europe?
[Tuj] Europe? Oh YES indeedy
In the British Isles?
[Rosie] British Isles? YES
Is it on a hill?
Is it a range of hills?
[Raak] ON a hill? There is some undulation but contour lines indicate the AOTC isn't actually ON a hill. *audience applauds the question*
[Rosie] A range of hills? NO
A site of archaeological significance?
... nearly there
{Raak] Archaeological significance? YES! *huge cheer erupts from audience*
A henge?
A stone circle but not technically a henge?
Is it about 2 miles (3.2 km) west of Amesbury and 8 miles (13 km) north of Salisbury?
Stonehenge?
I may be wrong but I'm not proud.
*audience on edge of their seats*
[NotJohn] A Henge? YES!
[Gusset Login] A stone circle/not technically a henge? NO - the AOTC is both
[Raak] NO ... therefore
[Quendalon] NO - not Stonehenge.
Avebury Stone Circle?
The Ring of Brodgar?
It's a win!
[NotJohn] Brodgar? Not in Scotland .. staying with my county of residence - Wiltshire - and
Phil scores a stunning lurker's victory with the correct [more-or-less] AOTC - Avebury Ring.
*gently passes neolithic baton to Phil*
,
Apols for the lurk, but every time I thought of a question, someone else had asked it. I'll make this one quick (I hope).

Mineral

Metal?
A good start...
[NJ] Metal? YES
Iron?
[GL] Iron? YES or NO, depending on the specific meaning of the question.
A manufactured item?
Stainless steel?
Unique?
But is it art?
An iron--like the kind with which one presses one's shirts?
Smaller than a telephone kiosk?
A bridge?
[NJ] Manufactured? YES
[Raak] Stainless Steel? YES, that's what it's made of *a ripple of applause*
[Quendalon] Unique? NO
[Tuj] Art? NO
[cfm] An iron? NO
[Chalky] < phone box? YES
[GL] Bridge? NO
Medical connections?
Is it smaller than a breadbox / bread bin?
Inverting the classic question.
[Raak] Medical? NO (well, a small connection, but it won't help)
[Quendalon] Smaller than breadbox? YES
Does it have any moving parts?
[NJ] Moving parts? YES
Is there one in your kitchen?
[Tuj] In my kitchen? NO. Well, there might be, but I'd move it if I were tidying up.
A tool?
[NJ] Tool? YES
Calipers?
[Software] Calipers? NO *Most of audience look slightly bemused by the handful that clapped, briefly*
A Leatherman?
(On the grounds that a Swiss Army Knife has plastic as well)
A hole punch?
[NJ] Leatherman? NO *some audience members explain to others what a Leatherman is, after which some of them make appreciative noises*
[Raak] Hole punch? NO
Does it cut?
[cfm] A cutter? YES *Applause*
A tin-opener?
Garden shears?
A kitchen tool?
End game appears to have commenced
[Rosie] Tin opener? NO (I wouldn't move that out of the kitchen when tidying)
[Raak] Garden Shears? NO (I'd call them bigger than a breadbin) *appreciative applause*
[NJ] A kitchen tool? NO (again, I'd keep that in the kitchen).
Secateurs?
[Software] Secateurs? NO *more applause*
Scissors?
D'oh - I meant to ask 'garden', for that reason and then turned the question round without thinking.
Wire cutters?
[NJ] Scissors? YES, but more detail required. *Lots of applause*
[Raak] Wire cutters? NO, see above.
Pinking shears?
Nail clippers?
[Quendalon] Pinkers? NO *some applause*
[Raak] Nail clippers? NO *Thunderous applause, oohs, aaahs, gasps and winces*
Nail scissors?
Hair scissors?
[Raak] Nail scissors? YES INDEED! *Deafening roars*
Congrats! Here, have this toenail as a makeshift baton.
VEGETABLE, with ABSTRACT connections.
An object made from vegetable matter?
[Rosie] Yes, made from vegetable matter.
Is wood involved?
Is it edible?
Unique?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
[GL] Would be wood.
[NotJohn] Edible wood? No.
[Tuj] Not unique.
[Phil] Bigger than a toaster.
Is it bigger than a cross-channel ferry?
[GL] Smaller than a cross-channel ferry.
Found domestically?
Does it have writing on it?
Naturally occurring?
[S] Domestic? Not really, at least nowadays.
[Q] Probably not written on.
[T] Not naturally occurring.
A piece of furniture?
Would one find it in a pub?
[R] Not furniture.
[C] *a ripple of applause* Yes, one might find it in a pub.
Does it have a picture or pictures on it?
Is it a container of some sort?
Is it used for a leisure activity?
[Q] No picture.
[NJ] *applause* A container.
[P] A witty thought goes up on the laser display board. Laughter in the audience. Not used for a leisure activity.
Normally holds liquid?
[NJ] Can normally hold liquid.
A barrel?
Might be my turn in it, innit?
[Rosie] *cheering* A barrel is involved. I suggest the abstract connection would repay attention.
Is it a well-known phrase or saying .. like Roll Out The Barrel?
[Chalky] Yes! A well known phrase or saying.
"Over a barrel"?
[Q] Not over a barrel.
So it's a colloquial phrase along the lines of "a can of worms"?
Scraping the barrel?
Barrel of laughs?
[D] Yes.
[R] *oooooh!!* Not quite.
[Q] Not a barrel of laughs.
The bottom of the barrel?
Attempted lurker victories R us
[CdM] Yes! Rosie was nearly there, but you have nailed the exact answer! Have this recycled wooden planter. Ignore the rotten apple juice seeping out of it. And it can now be revealed that the Witty Comment on the laser display board was about the undemanding leisure activity of shooting fish in one.
hmmm ...
.. thought it might be that - was rather hoping that Rosie might get a turn 'in the chair'.
May I respectfully suggest a slight change to the non-rules of this game, ie. you need to have asked at least one question before guessing the AOTC? Or is that altogether too regimentatious? < made up word alert >
I am more than happy for Rosie to take the chair if he wishes. He definitely got 98.2 percent of the way to the AOTC. Mind you, I think this game has had its share of lurker victories, and I'm not exactly a lurker in the grand scheme of things. :-)
Is flattered
(Chalky, CdM) Generous, but let's play by the rules. In any case, if a lurker wins, their "punishment" will be to host the next one. That'll teach 'em not to just jump in and out.

(CdM) Couldn't you have made it 98.4 - body temperature, the percentage of H2SO4 in conc. sulphuric, the number of feet in 30 metres . . . . I could go on.

While you're all being polite, I'll get the first question in: Would you find it in your kitchen?
Is it a sandwich?
Anarcho-syndicalism?
Convectively Available Potential Energy (CAPE)?
Where's CdM? Give us a category, man.
This is ANIMAL and VEGETABLE with a trace of MINERAL. I had decided on this before I saw any of your questions, so I am going to go with it. Oh god, I hope Rosie has heard of it :-)

In your kitchen? You could, but it's probably unlikely. I'm pretty sure I have never had one in my kitchen.
A sandwich? Yes! *applause*
Anarchosyndicalism? No.
CAPE? No.
Is egg an ingredient?
Explicitly not counting any egg(s) that are part of the bread-baking process.
A horseburger in a bun?
Eggy? Interesting question. Not necessarily, and not in its own right. But there are versions of this that would include egg as an ingredient, I think.
Shergarburger? No.
Unique?
[Chalky] You have taken the very wind from my sails!
Unique? No. (A unique sandwich??)
Edible?
Is saurkraut involved?
Contains fish?
A Croque Monsieur?
Edible? I certainly hope so. It's a sandwich!
Sauerkrauty? It's possible (I can find examples online), but it is certainly not an essential or even a standard ingredient.
Fishy? It sometimes contains fish, yes, but need not. For free, I will tell you that it is quite common for it to contain other seafood, however.
Croque monsieur? Non, madame.
Clarification on the egg: my reply was meant to imply that it would be very unusual to see egg listed explicitly as an ingredient, and I stand by that. But googling reveals that it is not unheard of.
A po' boy?
Chip butty with mayo?
could have been a knuckle sandwich :o)
Served hot?
Smörgåsbord?
Slicing to the chase
A po'boy? Yes! (It was the only sandwich beginning with P that came to mind.) Have this foot-long baton stuffed with fried oysters. [Software] Touché, even if I'm not sure what the vegetable component of a knuckle sandwich would be. :-)
Never heard of it ;-)
Yes, well...
[Chalky] I'd bet big money that the number of people who have heard of a po'boy is at least an order of magnitude larger than the number who have heard of the Avebury Stone Circle. :-)
Ah .. but
.. we'll never find out so you may as well bet your big money on the 4.45 at Redcar :-)
For the record - yet another Lurker Victory ...
[CdM] But which is Rosie more likely to know? ;)
[Chalky] I wasn't lurking! It was just my first question of the round. And your first question plus the mention of fish made it easy. :-)
However, I am glad to hand this yummy but calorie-laden baton to someone who would like a turn. Speak up if you'd like to give it a whirl.
[Tuj] Hehe!
[cfm] Only teasing ... as you well know ;-) My mind's eye is seeing badly disguised AVMA players in the shadowy fringes of the game poised to pounce on the AOTC and it's given me an idea for a very silly game along the lines of Spot the Ostrich.
By the way, I shall decline a turn/whirl as I'm a bit too busy this coming week.
[cfm] I'm always glad to take a turn with the baton, assuming that no better candidate presents themselves.
Take it away, Q. :-)
Very well then! This one is unequivocally Vegetable.
Unique?
Well stepped into the breach, that Quenders!
[Chalky] A game idea! Sounds good!
[Tuj] Not unique. *laughter from the crowd*
Peas in a pod?
Is it a sandwich?
leaping in so if i win will not be a lurking victory :)
It is some species of wood?
Victory goes to the swift
The word on the card is "pea," for which Raak's guess is more than sufficiently accurate. Passing a small, round green baton...
Wow! Ok, the next is ANIMAL.
Human?
I chose it largely so that I could giggle inanely if Tuj asked if it began with the letter 'P'.
Is it unique?
[Q] Human.
[GL] In a sense, it is unique. But one could quibble interminably about it.
Male?
[Q] Apologies for letting you down! I do worry my poor history of questioning has skewed the game somewhat...
Currently alive?
[Quendalon] For your giggling motive alone, you're my hero!
[Q] OOPS! I meant to say "Not human".
[Tuj] Male.
[Phil] Quite likely to be currently alive.
Quadruped?
Is it unique by virtue of something it has done?
[S] Not a quadruped. [NJ] *applause* It is indeed unique by virtue of something it has done.
Is the thing that he has done a physical (versus an abstract) act?
Is this bloke animal larger than the average domestic toaster?
[cfm] A physical act.
[Chalky] Smaller than a toaster.
Is it a bird?
[Phil] Is it a plane? Is it Superman? No, it's a bird!
Cock Robin?
.. avoiding the lurker label
Nah - that was a daft question. It's still alive, you say? And 'sort of' unique?
[Chalky] Not Cock Robin. To clarify the uniqueness thing a little: the answer is a singular noun phrase beginning with "The".
The Early Bird?
[Chalky] Not the early bird, but you're thinking along the right lines.
The First Cuckoo of Spring?
[Phil] The very thing!
Woohoo! (or something that sounds remarkably like that). And not a lurk in sight.
Pressing on rapidly with

Animal (or Abstract, depending on your point of view)

Unique?
Fictional?
Is it an archosyndicalistic sandwich?

... and a 'woohoo' and 'wahay' [sounding exactly like they're spelled] for Phil's victoreee.
Human?
The bee's knees?
Is it edible?
[Quendalon] Unique? YES
[Software] Fictional? YES
[Chalky] A wossname sarnie? NO
[Tuj] Human? YES
[Rosie] Apiarian patellae? NO
[GL] Edible? NO. Technically yes, but I really don't think you should eat it.
Abstract solely because it's fictional?
An eponymous character?
[Quendalon] Solely fictionally abstract? YES
[NJ] Eponymous character? NO
A male character?
[cfm] Male? YES
I don't have a question; this is just a place-marker to avoid accusations of lurker victory later.
[CdM] This is not an answer, merely an acknowledgement of your statement.
A detective?
This is a question and also an acknowledgement of CdM's non-lurker status.
[GL] Detective? NO
C20 Literature?
This is a question but also a quibble as to whether a non-interrogatory interjection is sufficient to remove lurker status.
[NJ] 20th Century Literature? YES
Is the animal one of the big cats?
[Rosie] A big cat? NO, he's human (see Tuj's question)
Originally written in English?
[NJ] English lit? YES
Fantasy genre?
Harry Potter?
Does an interrogatory interjection remove lurker status if the question is unrelated to the AVMA AOTC?
[Quendalon] Fantasy? NO
[Software] Harry Potter? NO, not eponymous
[CdM] Questionable lurker? NO, you're not getting out of it that easily.
Appears in a series of books?
Why is CdM so convinced he is going to score a lurker's victory? Is he in league with Phil? </ratsmelling>
[NJ] In a series of books? YES *some applause*
[NJ] Am I in cahoots with CdM? One question at a time, please.
James Herriot?
[Software] Herriot? NO
I should add that when I said yes to '20th century Literature' I simply meant that there were books, not necessarily great works of literature.
Also, although I have described the character as not eponymous, I have found that he is mentioned in the title of at least one book.
A detective series?
Is CdM in league with Phil?
Is this person a restorer of antique sewing-machines who keeps an Afghan hound and lives within earshot of St. Paul's in an apartment that appears to be beyond his modest means?
Does asking an apparently relevant question remove lurker status if the question was asked solely for the purpose of removing lurker status?
[cfm] Detectives? NO
[GL] Conspirateur de Moi? NO
[Raak] Your main question? Oh so close! Actually, I lied. NO, not any part of it is correct, and a meaningless note has been made of your completely legal, yet immoral, lurk avoidance (as opposed to lurk evasion, which is strictly illegal).
Is there a connection to espionage?
Any day now we'll be getting phone calls asking 'Do you believe you have ever suffered unfairly at the hands of a lurker?' and offering their services on a 'No Win No Fee' basis (once you've paid the £300 administration charge)
[NJ] Espionage? NO *a couple of giggles from the audience*
Are they books for adults?
Which is worse - lurking or taking successive turns?
[NJ] Books for adults? NO *applause*
Are they comic books?
Did the character first appear before 1960?
[GL] COmic books? NO
[Quendalon] Pre-1960? YES
Tin-Tin?
[Tin-Tin] NO, not eponymous.
Do they share the books with an eponymous character?
[GL] Is there an eponym? Well, only about a fifth of the book titles feature one character's name, but most people would automatically answer YES. It's a definite YES for other media. *applause for a very good question*
Does this character have a "sidekick"?
Violet Elizabeth Bott?
If that isn't right I'll thcweam and thcweam until I'm thick.
[GL] Has a sidekick? NO
[NJ] Violet? NO, thcweam away.
Christopher Robin?
[cfm] Christopher Robin? NO
The Fat Controller?
[Gusset Login] YES, dagnammit, YES !! It was indeed Sir Topham Hatt 1st Bt, of "The Railway Series", often referred to as the "Thomas the Tank Engine" books, although Thomas' name is only in the title of 9 of the 42 books. The Fat Controller is named in only one title, "Thomas and the Fat Controller's Engines".
Nice to get that one finished off for the weekend. And not a hint of a lurk in sight. Please take this green flag in lieu of a baton.
Cool. I never expected having a three year old nephew would help me win anything.

This next one is:

Mineral.

Unique?
[Phil, GL] Excellent =)
Begins with 'P'?
[Tuj] I see you have well and truly nicked my signature question! So I must claim yours in turn.
[Tuj] A one off? Yes
[Quenda] P...? No.
Made of iron?
[cfm] iron? Depending on how loosely you define the terms 'made of' and 'iron' the answer could be either Yes or No.
It is more than 5% steel (which is an alloy of iron).
A building?
*lurks*
[Quenda] Building? No
[CdM] Good to see you, feel free to stop lurking and join in.
Is it larger than a standard kitchen-size refrigerator?
[cfm] > average fridge? No.
A work of art?
Made before 1900?
I'm assuming man-made because it incorporates steel rather than iron.
[Phil] Work of art? No. Although, as always with that question, some people might call it such.
[Quenda] Made before 1900? Yes.
Unique?
A scientific instrument?
Is it in a fixed location?
[Quenders] Apologies, but a change is a good as a rest!
[Rosie] Unique? Yes, still unique.
[Raak] Scientific instrument? No.
[Tuj] Unmoving? Yes.
Military in nature?
[Tuj] A fair cop. Perhaps I will advance to asking whether a thing starts with 'Q'...
Outdoors?
Shaped like a human?
*unlurks*
In the USA?
Located in a museum?
[Quenda] Military in nature? Yes, although perhaps not in nurture. :)
[Rosie] Outside? No
[Chalky] Humanoid? No
[Tuj] 'Merk'n? No
[cfm] In a museum? That's a tough question. Personally, I wouldn't count it as a museum, as such but others might see it differently.
I seem to be very much in the minority. Yes, it's in a museum.
Does it have moving parts?
Even though I have now asked a question, I would like to declare that I am immediately going to revert to lurker status.
[CdM] Moving Prats? (If you're lurking again, I don't have to answer.) No.
Does it have royal associations?
[Tuj] Royal inclinations? *Drowned out by audience aplause and has to repeat* Yes
A sword?
A suit of armour?
Moving Prats? Sounds fun.
A crown?
[cfm] Sword? *More applause* Yes
[Rosie] Suit a'more? No
[Chalurkery] Crown? No
Sword of Mercy?
Military in nature, although not in nurture.
Is this a sword used only for ceremonial purposes?
Pops out of the shrubbery hoping that no one will notice.
The Great Sword of State
Lurker? Me? No! Just a slow starter.
"The Wallace Sword" (William Wallace's Claymore) ?
[Phil] The Gromit Sword? No
[NJ] Greatsword of State? Nope
[Dujon] Ceremonial? Yes
[Quendo] Sword of Mercy? Is the AOTC.

Have a baton with an inch broken off of one end.
[GL] I accept! And with this baton, I dub thee Sir Gusset of Login.

*ahem* This next one is MINERAL.
Is it unique?
[Phil] One of a kind? NO.
Man-made?
[Raak] Man-made? YES.
Begins with Q?
[Tuj] Q-ish? NO.
Made of metal?
Bigger than an average household microwave oven?
Electronic?
[NJ] Metallic? NO.
[Phil] Bigger than a microwave oven? NO.
[Raak] Electronical? NO.
Made of stone?
[cfm] Rocky? NO.
Found indoors?
Ornamental?
Solid?
[Rosie] Can be found indoors? YES.
[Softers] An ornament? Tricky, but I'll go with NO.
[Phil] Solid? PARTLY. *polite applause*
A thermometer?
[cfm] Temperature measurer? NO.
A barometer?
Is water part of this?
Is the AOTC related to light?
[Raak] Atmospheric pressure measurer? NO.
[Chalky] Partly water? My research suggests NO. *audience murmurs*
[Dujon] Light source? NO.
Contains a liquid?
Can I eat it?
Is it used for cleaning?
Contains alcohol?
A Cartesian diver?
Lava Lamp?
[NJ] Contains liquid? YES. *applause*
[Bools] Edible? NO.
[Chalks] Cleaning device? NO.
[Raak] Contains alcohol? My research suggests YES, but that may mislead you.
[Rosie] Cartesian devil? NO.
[GL] Lava lamp? NO. *audience murmurs*
Is the solid part glass?
[Rosie] Glass? According to my research, NO, although glass may have been involved at one point.
Is the solid part plastic?
An insatiable birdie?
(Drinking bird, dipping bird, nodding duck...)
[CdM] Plastic? YES.
[Raak] Unappeasable avian? NO.
A de-icing squirt bottle?
[Rosie] Anti-icy squirty bottly thingy? NO. *audience yawns*
Does it measure anything?
Is it a common household object?
[NJ] Measuring device? NO. *scattered laughter from the audience*
[cfm] Common household object? NO, although a household is one of the most likely places to find it.
Medicinal use in any way?
[Rosie] Curative? NO.
Is this usually dome shaped?
[Dujon] Hemispherical? NO. *laughter from the audience*
Does it have medicinal purposes?
Is it a saftey device?
[NJ] Medicinal use? Still NO.
[GL] Makes you safer? NO.
Does it contain ONLY liquid?
[Phil] Contains only liquid? NO. *applause*
Does it have moving parts?
[Raak] Parts that move? YES, though my answer may mislead you.
A glow stick?
[Phil] Radiant rod? NO.
Was it invented in the last 50 years?
[Tuj] Invented after 1963? NO.
Is the plastic Bakelite?
[Phil] Bakelite? Embarrassingly, I DON'T KNOW; my research doesn't say what kind of plastic(s) are involved.
Is its purpose amusement?
[Rosie] For amusement? YES. *applause, laughter*
Shurely it's not a replica mannequin pis?
[Rosie] Little peeing statue? NO.
A tip-up, clothed/naked lady pen?
[Phil] Pen with lady floating inside? NO. *solitary golf clap from audience*
One of those snow storm globe thingys?
[Softy] Snow globe? NO. *audience murmurs*
Is the mysterious plastic transparent?
[Rosie] Transparent plastic? PARTLY. *applause*
A Sand Sculpture?
Does it have a screen?
[Chalks] Sand sculpture? NO, not sand, nor exactly a sculpture.
[NJ] Has a screen? YES, of a sort, though this answer may mislead you. *nodding and murmuring from audience*
A magic 8 ball?
[CdM] Magic 8-Ball? SIGNS POINT TO YES.
*much applause, throwing of batons, etc*
Hmmm. Maybe I'll use the eight-ball to answer all the questions for this round. That might make it more interesting.
This one is ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections.
Animal = Human?
Human? It is decidedly so.
Fictional?
Fictional? My reply is no.
Is this person in the arts and entertainment professions?
Arts and Entertainment? My reply is no.
Is the human a politician?
Politician? Yes definitely.
American?
Female?
[Quenders, CdM] Well persevered! I think most, like me, wanted to know the answer but didn't have a clue how to attack it.
American? Don't count on it.
Female? Outlook not so good.

Turns out magic 8-balls don't have many good ways of saying No.
British?
British? My reply is no.
European?
Currently alive?
Never heard of the Magic 8-ball - even after looking it up to check.
European? You may rely on it.
Currently alive? My sources say no.
Begins with a P?
Begins with a P? Very doubtful.
Known for military achievements?
Well known in UK?
Is the AOTC a dead male European politician whose name doesn't begin with a P?
Known for military leadership? Very doubtful
Well known in UK? Reply hazy try again
Dead male non-P European politician? Signs point to yes.
Did this person die after 1900?
Died after 1900? Without a doubt.
Did this person die after 2000?
Was he a francophone?
Well known in UK?
All right. Reluctantly I think I need to abandon the 8-ball, or I risk confusing and infuriating you all.
Die after 2000? No.
Francophone? I can't tell from the sources I have checked. French was not his mother tongue, but there are some reasons to believe he may at least have had a working knowledge of the language.
Well-known in the UK? Concentrate and ask again. Oh, sorry. I do not think that, at the present time, you would say that. But the abstract connection is at least somewhat well-known.
Quisling?
Quisling? It is decidedly so! An impressive leap there. The answer is indeed Vidkun Quisling, leader of the Norwegian collaborationist government from 1942-45. Tuj asked the wrong question. One baton inscribed "with best wishes, Adolf" handed over.
Yes, well, sometimes an answer just jumps into your head and you have to take a guess.
This next one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
Animal = Human?
[Software] human animal? - YES is probably the most helpful answer
Fictional?
(The next question is: "Is this person in the arts and entertainment professions?")
[CdM] Fictional - YES
The next answer is NO
Actually, the best answer to Software would have been YESish and NO
Gollum?
[Chalky] 'well, sometimes an answer just jumps into your head and you have to take a guess' - this one happens to be wrong
is the animal a deity?
assumption alert
[Phil] Godlike animal? - NO *a couple of audience members exchange significant glances*
Begins with... um... R?
Proverbial?
Is the animal unique?
Is the animal mythical?
Aslan?
[Tuj] R-start? - NO
[Quen] Proverb? - Not as such but *some applause*
[CdM] Just the one? YES and NO
[Phil] Mythical? - YES and NO
[Raak] Aslan? - NO
Guardian Angel?
Mass assumption alert
[Software] Grauniad Angle? - NO
A character from a book (or books)?
[Phil] Character in book? - The human animal appears in at least one literary work.
A well known phrase or saying?
Is the AOTC more than one creature?
[Chalky] I say, I say, I say? - NO
[Tuj] >1 creature? - YES! *relieved applause*
All the creatures on Noah's Ark?
[Raak] The animals went in seven by seven? - NO
Devilish connection?
Does this human animal have any connection to nonhuman animals?
Is the abstract part the occupation of a human?
Yes, don't forget the abstract
[Software] Devilish? - NO
[Quen] human/nonhuman connection (until they caught him at it)? NO, not particularly, except in the context of the AOTC
[Dujon] Abstract = Occupation? - NO
Is the AOTC the title of a book?
[Tuj] Book title? - NO (at least not one I've heard of)
Bigfoot?
[Software] Size 17? - NO
Are these creatures different species - apart from the human?
First literary appearance before 1900?
[Chalky] multi-species? NO - (There's a misapprehension behind your question - I assume based on my answer to Tuj. I counted the human as a creature) So to be clear, the AOTC includes a human and another creature.
[Quen] First written about pre 1900? - YES *some chuckles in the audience*
Alice in Wonderland?
Is Software's question a 'book title' which Tuj asked and to which you have replied NO?
Thanks for clarification on the creature issue :)
Is the human named ie. Jonah and The Whale?
[Software] Miss Liddell and the Magic Mushrooms? - NO (I would consider that a 'Book Title'
[Chalky] Named Human? - YES *appreciative murmurs*
BTW - I've done some research and can't find a book title that matches the AOTC - though there are several which incorporate most of it, at least one of which is by a well-known writer. I don't think it's a useful approach for you.
Is the non-human a mythical creature?
Beginning to get somewhere
[Tuj] Non-human mythical? - NO
Is the human from the Mediterranean?
[Tuj] One of those 'Mediterranean' types? - YES
Silvio Berlusconi?
Shurely he is mythical by now.
Perseus?
Can I still pretend I'm lurking after making a guess?
First literary appearance BC?
[Software] Super Silvio? - NO
[GLogin] Perseus? - NO *some applause* (and NO)
[Raak] BCE initially? - YES
Jason and the Golden Fleece?
Is this from the Old Testament?
[Quen] Jason &c? - NO
[Chalky] OT? - NO
Is the non-human creature named?
Was this fellow an early aviator?
[Quendalon] e.g. Mrs Tiggywinkle? - NO
[Dujon] Icarine? - NO
Is the named human known to us by just a single (i.e., one word) name?
[CdM] Single name? - YES
Plato's man (i.e. a plucked chicken)?
Greek mythology?
[Raak] Plato's Man? - NO
[Quen] Greek Mythology? - YES (the human is from Greek mythology)
Theseus and The Minataur?
Pasiphaë and the Bull?
[Chalky] Theseus etc.? - NO
[Quen] Pasiphaë etc.? - NO
I said the human is from Greek mythology
Do the human and the non-human appear in combination in Greek mythology?
Does the Human's name begin with 'H'?
[Quen] Do the human and the non-human appear in combination in Greek mythology? - NO (and a good question)
Ahem *coughs*
Does the creature *belong* to the human from mythology
Looking for the link ...
Not a well known phrase or saying
Not a book title
Not a Greek myth as such
Not a proverb
[Chalky] H.....? - NO - didn't forget - just got interrupted.
All your statements are correct
You can derive from what I have told you that we have a mythical greek human and a non-mythical animal. If you get these you will not quite have the AOTC, but that will be obvious.
Is there a constellation named after either of them?
[GLogin] Constellation? - NO (at least not in the European tradition and the current standard list)
Actually, there has been a constellation proposed as the animal, but it never caught on and is not in current use. (Thank You Wikipedia)
Is it the name of a band?
Is the non-human a bird?
[NJ] Chalky's list had a question above it, note.
Is the AOTC formatted as " someone AND THE something "?
[Chalky] Creature 'owned' by human? - NO
[Phil] Band Name? - YES (or at least the name of a band is included in the AOTC, but I'd never heard of it - thank you Google)
[Tuj] Birdy creature? - NO
[Chalky] Someone & the Something? - YES *audience perks up* But that's not the entire AOTC
Is the animal a mammal?
Clutching at straws for anything that might trigger some inspiration.
Is it the name of a song?
Is the non-human aquatic?
[Phil] Mammal? - NO
[Quen] A song? - NO (I'm not going to bother to google that, so I may be wrong!!)
[Tuj] Watery? - NO
I'll see if I can think of a clue.
Is it a title of any sort?
I'm currently stumped.
Are either of them a reptile?
Quite a big nudge
[Quen] A title? - NO
[GLogin] A reptile? - Technically NO, but in common parlance some people may consider the non-human animal to be at least reptilian in some characteristics.

A couple of clues:
1. The format of the answer is actually 'THE something abstract OF someone AND THE something
2. Consider what else has come down to us from the Greeks apart from their myths and legends

Does the 'something abstract' begin with P?
Even more stumped than before.
The Ballad of John and Yoko?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
[Quen] P-abstract? - YES
[Phil] Christ, you know it ain't easy? - NO
The Paradox of Achilles and the Tortoise?
See, it wasn't that hard!
[Phil] YES!! It is Zeno's Paradox of Achilles and the Tortoise which gets most of a chapter to itself in 'Gödel Escher, Bach'

Here, have half a baton and a quarter of a baton and an eighth of a baton, and ........

The "reptilian in some characteristics" was the giveaway, once I spotted it. I am a herpetophobe, and once ran away from a girlfriend's pet tortoise, which she was holding to try and show to me. It was rather embarrassing, and gave me nightmares, but up to that point I'd thought my phobia only stretched to snakes.
Hidden text Just typing that has made me curl my legs up under my chair, rather than under the desk where I can't see.

So, our next offering is

Mineral

The plane from "Snakes on a Plane" after all the snakes have been removed?
[NJ] Ah. I'd forgotten all about the whole "Achilles and the tortoise" bit; I always just think of it as Zeno's paradox.
[CdM] The plane from the film I deliberately haven't even seen the trailer for? NO
Made of metal?
[CdM] Yes but Zeno had 9 paradoxes including the one I quoted in handing over the baton, which is related to, but not identical to 'Achilles..'
Unique?
[CdM] Good guess - after all, simply "the absence of snakes" would've been abstract, right?
Man made?
[NJ] Tortoises are reptiles in the order Testudines. What technicality are you thinking of that that cancels out?
[NJ] Made of metal? Partially
[Tuj] Unique? YES
[GL] Man-made? YES
[NJ] Have a toffee for being the only person so far not to have mentioned snakes/reptiles.
Sculptural?
[GLogin] I plead stupidity. For some reason I'd always thought that chelonians were a separate class and I didn't bother to check.
A bridge?
[NJ] Sculptural? NO
[Raak] A bridge? YES *Applause*
London Bridge?
[NJ] I always get that one confused with the Fable of the Tortoise and the Hare.
[Quendalon] London Bridge? NO
The Golden Gate?
In the USA?
The Sydney Harbour Bridge?
[NJ] I just checked Wikipedia; I hadn't ever heard of (or perhaps had forgotten; I read GEB two-thirds of my lifetime ago) several of Zeno's paradoxes. But the ones you were referring to I simply classify together in my mind as the "Zeno didn't understand infinite sequences paradox".
In UK?
In Asia?
[Raak] Golden Gate? NO
[NJ] USA? YES *Applause*
[CdM] Sydney Harbour? NO
[Chalky] UK? NO
[Quendalon] Asia? NO
In New York New York?
[NJ] NY NY? NO
Chappaquiddick bridge?
In a state on the Eastern Seaboard
[Software] Chupa Chups Bridge? NO
[NJ] Right-hand side state? YES *some more applause*
The Talmadge Memorial Bridge?
Is it well known because of an incident that happened there?
[Chalky] Talmadge? NO
[NJ] Well known because of an incident? NO
The Seven Mile Bridge?
(on the route down through the FL keys)
[CdM] 7 Mile Bridge? YES - dang, you're good! Have this baton made of recycled railway line, and well done!
Well, that was unexpected!
It was in my head because Geoguessr deposited me there a week or so ago.

VEGETABLE and possibly ANIMAL
Is the vegetable wood?
Is the animal leather?
Is it bigger than the 7 mile bridge?
Is there one in your [CdM's] home?
Begins with a P?
A vegetarian meal of some sort?
Wood? No.
Leather? No.
Bigger than 7-mile bridge? Not really a well-defined question, but the answer would have to be No if anything.
One in my home? I am pretty sure (not 100% certain) the answer is currently no, although I have had the AOTC in my home at various times.
Begins with P? One of the words on the card begins with a P.
Vegetarian meal? No. *some applause, nonetheless*
Is it a sandwich?
Sandwich? No. :-)
Potable/Edible?
Is it liquid at room temperature?
Potable/edible? Yes.
Liquid at room temperature? Yes.
Carbonated?
Is the AOTC a brand name?
Is it a condiment?
Carbonated? No.
Brand name? No.
Condiment? No.
Is it a type of tea?
Tea? No.
Alcoholic?
Is it normally consumed cold?
Alcoholic? No.
Normally consumed cold? No. [SuzieR] Welcome!
Contains coffee?
Contains coffee? No.
A type of soup?
Tea?
Sometimes served with milk, don't you know.
Is the animal element dairy produce?
That's ten noes in a row
Soup? No.
Tea? Still No.
Dairy? No.
Is it a beverage?
Is it medicinal?
A beverage? No.
Medicinal? No.
Is it sold in an average supermarket?
Is its normal use as a foodstuff
Just 'cos it's edible doesn't mean that's its primary purpose.
Sold in an average supermarket? Hmmm. Good question. It can be. I have certainly seen it for sale in regular supermarkets in the US (and perhaps in other countries, though I am not sure). But would I expect to find it if I wandered into an average supermarket here in Australia, or in the UK? Probably not. So I will go with No.
Normal use as a foodstuff? Yes. (But a good assumption-checking question!)
Argan Oil?
Still with bits of goat mixed in.
Argan oil? No.
Is it consumed by itself?
Is the P-word on the card paste?
Consumed by itself? No. *applause*
P = paste? No.
Is it a sauce for a dish?
A sauce? Yes. *applause*
More likely to be consumed in USA?
As per
Pasta sauce?
More likely to be consumed in USA? Um. Than where? It is more likely to be consumed in the USA than in some other places, and less likely to be consumed in the USA than in other other places. It is almost certainly more likely to be consumed in the USA than in the UK, if that is what you mean. :-)
Pasta sauce? No.
Does it normally contain chili?
Contains chill? Yes. *applause*
Tabasco Pepper Sauce?
Tabasco? No. (I think I would have classified that as a condiment.)
Originates in Asia?
Asian? No.
*ouch*
CdM - ooops. Thought I'd typed 'than in the UK' but didn't check preview. Thanks for clarification. I have a hunch this may be a foodstuff I haven't heard of so will withdraw from the chase ..
Pico de gallo?
Pico de gallo? No. *some applause*
*changes mind* Might this be classed as a Mexican sauce?
Piri-piri
aka peri-peri or pili-pili
Mole poblano?
Mexican sauce? Yes.
Piri-peri-pili? No.
Mole Poblano? Yes! It is indeed the Mexican sauce (or class of sauces, really) made from spices, peppers, nuts, and chocolate. And if you have never tasted a good Pollo con Mole Poblano, put that on your bucket list right now. The "animal" is because the sauce can be made with (typically chicken) stock or just with water.
[Q] Here. There's a baton on this plate somewhere.
[CdM] I will eat my way through the entire dish until I find the baton - and then keep on going! A good mole sauce dish is delicious indeed. Now I'm hungry...
Anyway, I'm currently busy in town. I will post a new AVMA item when I get home in a few hours.
By my decree, this one is MINERAL.
Unique?
[Chalky] Well? Had you heard of it?
it is solid?
[Cdm] I'd heard of "mole", but not the "poblano" bit.
Begins with a P?
(Presumably it's not a sandwich)
Begins with a Q?
[Phil] I had decided that I would accept "mole" as close enough. In most people's minds, I think mole = mole poblano.
Made of stone?
I knew 'Mole mole' but not 'Mole Poblano'
Is it metal?
[CdM] Not only knew it but have made it - and also thought it might be the answer which is why I asked the 'mexican' question. I have always believed '.. mole' to be '.. sauce' ie. Guacamole. Be that as it may, and it may not - Quendo slipped in there before me which is probably for the best given my schedule over the next few days :)
Sorry for the delay
[CdM] Unique? NO.
[Phil] Solid? YES. *applause*
[Tuj] Begins with 'P'? NO, not this time.
[CdM] Begins with 'Q'? NOPE.
[NJ] Rock? Technically YES.
[Chalks] Metal? NO.
Made of glass?
[Phil] Glass? YES. *audience murmurs*
Ornamental?
Man-made?
[Softers] Ornamental? SOMETIMES. *audience murmurs*
[Raak] Man-made? NO.
Smaller than a toaster?
Is it made of obsidian?
[Tuj] Smaller than a toaster? N/A.
[GL] Obsidian? YES, that's the word on the card!

Passing a black, glassy baton...
*says gosh*
*is impressed*
Oh. I'd expected something more specific.

OK, this one is ABSTRACT/ANIMAL.
Fictional?
[Tuj] Fictional? Yes
Fictional human?
[GL] I figured that I might want to try something obscure next time I have the baton, so I thought I'd build up some compensatory karma in advance.
In literature?
Male?
Begins with a P?
[Quenda] Fictional Human? No
[NJ] Literature? Yes
[Phul] Male? Assumed to be but I don't remember it being confirmed. I'm saying Yes.
[Tuj] Begins with P? No.
Fictional Animal?
[Chalky] Fictional aminal? Yes
Talking animal?
Is/was the author of this fictional animal female?
[Quendo] Talking? Yes.
[CdM] From the mind of a woman? No.
An animal native to asia?
[NJ] Lives in asia? No. *Some mutters of disagreement from the audience*
First written of before 1950?
Mammal?
[CdM] pre-1950? Yes
[Quando] Mammalian? No.
Ignore me, I accidentally posted twice in a row.
[Quenda] I'm sorry, did you say something?
Begins with Q?
Cheshire cat?
Cats are native to Asia, but the Cheshire cat is native to Cheshire.
[CdM] Q...? No.
[Quen Dalon] Grinning Cat? No. Also cat's are mammals.
A single individual animal?
Is it a bird?
First written of before 1900?
[GL] I thought that when you said "No" you meant "Yes."
[NJ] Singular? Yes.
[Suzierocket] bird? No.
[Quendal On] Pre-1900? No.
Does this animal also exist in the real world?
[Suzierocket] Is it a real animal? If you mean is this fictional talking animal also a real talking animal... No.
If you mean is it a member of a species that also exists in the real world... Also, no.
Smaug?
[CdM] Smaug? The very worm. Have a golden baton filtched from the dragon's horde.
All right. It has been a while since I have done an ABSTRACT. This also has ANIMAL connections.
Fictional character?
Fictional character? No.
The Origin of Species?
If this is right the cries of 'Fix!' will be deafening.
A human invention?
An emblem?
Bestiality?
Not that sort of animal connection? I'll get my coat.
TOoS? No
Human invention? No.
Emblem? No.
Animal Husbandry? No.
A metaphorical animal?
Metaphorical animal? No.
Is the AOTC a single word?
Single word? Yes.
Unique?
Unique? No.
Related to the Arts?
Related to the Arts? The best answer is No. There are connections—probably a lot of them; for example the AOTC certainly shows up in book titles and song titles—but I don't think they will be useful to you.
Is the animal connection human?
Animal connection human? Yes, but not exclusively so.
Is it an emotion or feeling?
Does it start with an S?
Does it start with a silent 'P'?
Does it end in Y?
Is the word on the card a noun?
Emotion or feeling? Yes. *applause*
Start with S? No.
Start with silent P? No.
End in Y? No.
Noun? Yes. (It is also a verb, but I am treating the AOTC as referring to the noun.)
Hunger?
Is it normally considered negative?
Attributed more commonly to one sex--reasonably or otherwise?
Hunger? No.
Normally considered negative? Yes.
Attributed more to one sex? I don't think so. I'm unaware of either an objective difference or a pervasive stereotype.
OK, I have done a little research now, and discovered that at least one aspect of the AOTC is—objectively—associated more with women than men.
Does it begin with a Q?
Begin with Q? No.
A pedantic clarification. I answered Yes to "Emotion or feeling?", and that is clearly the best answer. But we might be hesitant about applying those terms to non-human animals, so I should note that there are also senses of the AOTC that go beyond emotion/feeling.
Does this involve killing?
Sorry I'm late, it's the darned traffic.
Involve killing? Not usually. Occasionally, yes.
Would this type of behaviour be classified as a syndrome or even illness?
Syndrome? Well, first, it isn't a "type of behaviour" as such, though it certainly can be associated with certain behaviours. And although it can sometimes be associated with a syndrome/illness, it isn't in itself one.
Is it normally considered rational in reasonably common circumstances?
Do you know of an emoticon which expresses this?
Does it start with a non-silent 'P'?
Is it drepressing?
Normally considered rational? *audience applauds the question* No. In some circumstances quite the contrary. Although it is not always considered irrational, either.
Emoticonned? I was not aware of one, but the google does give me examples. Mind you, if you had just shown me these examples, I would not have identified them as the AOTC.
Begin with non-silent P? Yes. Of course.
Depressing or drepressing? No, not in general. Maybe in some specific circumstances.
Paranoia?
Paranoia? No. (I did actually think about making that the AOTC when setting this AVMA.)
Panic?
Panic? Yes! *throws the baton in Quendalon's general direction and runs away screaming*
Eeek! Er, I mean, yes! Of course! Success!

Our next selection is obscurely ANIMAL.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique? YES.
Human?
[Tuj] Possesses personhood? YES.
alive now?
Male?
[NJ] Among the living? YES.
[GL] Male? NO.
A member of the Morniverse?
Does she begin with a Queen?
[Tuj] Player of Mornington Crescent? UNLIKELY, but since I don't know your real names there's no way to be sure...
[CdM] Name prefaced with female monarchical title? NO.
European?
In the entertainment business?
A sportswoman?
[Q] The best answers are often the scrupulously accurate ones =)
Has she received an honour from the Queen?
Over thrity?
[CdM] From Europe? YES.
[NJ] In the business of providing entertainment? YES.
[Tuj] Famed athlete? NO.
[Raak] Received award from female monarch? NO.
A thespian?
[NJ] Dramaturge? NO.
Does she begin with P?
Also, you forgot to answer GL's question: is she over thrity? Enquiring midns wnat to konw.
[CdM] Do any words on the card begin with 'P'? NO.
[GL] Is this personage over thrity years old? YSE.
A singer?
[Tuj] Vocalist? NO.
Is she a broadcaster?
[Chalks] Casts broadly? NO.
OK. Does she begin with Q, then?
Is she a writer?
[CdM] Starts with 'Q'? NO.
[Chalks] Writes? YES. *applause*
Does she write for television?
Has she published a novel within the last year?
[nights] Writes for the telly? NO. (In the interests of full disclosure, she has done a bit of TV writing but is not known for it.)
[CdM] Novel with publication date after June 16, 2012? NO.
Has she published a novel within the last ten years?
Is she aged over fifty?
Is she married?
British?
[GL] Published a novel since 2003? YES.
[Chalko] Over fifty years old? YES.
[Phil] Wedded? YES.
[Tuj] Brit? YES.
Tanith Lee?
[GL] Tanith Lee? YES. *wild applause*

I guess that wasn't so obscure after all?

*tosses Gusset Login the baton through a gate of agate, a gate of blue steel and a terrible gate of black flame*
*googles Tanith Lee*
Well Guessed Guss!
I've only heard of Tanith Lee because my local sci-fi/fantasy book group are meant to be reading some of her stuff next month. The guess was meant to rule her out and confirm my own sanity... which clearly worked well.

Time for an ABSTRACT, I think
The letter P?
Anarcho-Syndicalism?
[Tuj] P...? No.
[Chalky] Anarcho-Syndicalism? No.
Human construct?
Fictional?
[CdM] Human construct? I'm going to say No.
[Tuj] Fictional? I've not seen evidence of it for a while but No, not fictional.
Connected with the natural world?
Related to perception?
[GL] Do you know which of Lee's books you'll be reading? Her 70s sci-fi/fantasy is excellent, but I gather her style shifted over time and I'm not sure what the more recent stuff is like. But if you're reading her Tales of the Flat Earth stories or The Birthgrave, you're in for a treat.
[Chalky] From nature? Unclear, much like the human construct thing. I'm saying Yes, with reservations
[Quendalon] Perception? Not closely related, but possibly yes.

[Quendalon] I'll find out on Saturday which one I get but the whole gammet of her work is being covered as far as I can tell.
One of the seven deadly sins?
[Chaky] A sin? No. *Laughter*
Generally considered to be pleasing?
[Quend] Positive? Yes.
Is it an emotion or feeling?
[Tuj] Emothing or feeling? Yes.
Is there more than one word on the card?
[Quendalon] Multi-word? No.
Does it begin with either P or Q?
[CdM] P... or Q...? No.
Related to attachment?
[cfm] Attachment? It can be but not always, depending on your definition of attachment.
Is it some form of familial bond?
[Dujon] Bond, Familial Bond? No.
Is it an '.. ism'?
[Chalky] ...ism? No.
Felt only by humans?
Does it end in "-ness"?
[Quendalon] Only human? I have seen it ascribed to other animals but who can tell? (Hence my earlier answers regarding human constructs and nature)
[Phil] ...ness? Not on the card but a reasonable synonym does.
Does it begin with a letter from the first half of the alphabet [incl M]?
Joy?
Empathy?
[Chakly] A-M...? Yes.
[Phil] Joy? No.
[cfm] Empathy? No.
Is it directed at someone or something outside oneself?
[Quendalon] Targetted? Yes.
Generosity?
Love?
[Chalky] Generosity? No. *Much applause*
[Phil] Love? No.
Does the word begin with a vowel?
[Chalky] A... E... or I...? No.
Does it end -ion?
[Tuj] ...ion? No.
Is it an '.. ity'?
[Chalky] ...ity? No.
The word on the card does have a fair number of acceptable synonyms, many of which would elicit different response to some recent questions. I'm not sure this is your best line of attack.

Summary/Clarification/Hints
This is a single word describing a felling or emotion directed by humans (and possibly other animals) towards something. Generally it is considered positive for at least one of the people involved.
It starts with a consonant between B and M (G) and doesn't end with 'ity', 'ion', 'ism' or 'ness'. Although synonyms ending with at least two of those option and beginning with completely different letters may be acceptable answers.
Is it a noun?
[Quend] Noun? Yes.
Can it be used as a name?
I think the fact we've dropped to this poor line of attack is no-one's had a good idea how to approach it!
Friendship?
Is it typically directed at a single person (in any given instance) or at multiple people at once?
[Tuj] Can it be used as a name? Not traditionally but I wouldn't put it past some people.
[Quendalon] Friendship? No.
[CdM] Directed at a single person? In the last year, I have directed it at individuals, couples, groups, inanimate objects and the results of blind chance.
Gratitude?
[cfm] Gratitude? Yes. Have mine and a baton.
[GL] Similar sentiments to you, dear. Let's try VEGETABLE AND MINERAL
Is it a geographical location?
Is the vegetable wood?
[NJ] Here or there? NO.
[GL] Wooden? NO.
Unique?
[Q] Unique? NO
Edible?
Is the mineral metal?
Is it a sandwich?
Would it normally be found in a sandwich?
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
[Raak] Edible? YES
[CdM] Metallic? NO
[Tuj] Two slices plus? NO
[Q] Big as a loaf or two? NO
[GL] Sandwichable? NO
Wet?
Is the mineral salt?
Is it a foodstuff?
[Chalky] Watery? I think the best answer is YES, but in practice, it would be to varying degrees.
[Raak] Salty? The best answer to your question is NO, that is not the primary mineral ingredient. But I know of at least one instance where salt is involved.
[GL] Cuppa? NO, that is not the AOTC. But YES, tea may be involved.
[CdM] Foodstuff? NO. *audience interest increases*
Is it found in a typical Western home?
Is it generally considered valuable?
Is it medicinal?
[Q] Western staple? YES---though not as common as say, a carton of milk or a pair of scissors.
[GL] Pricey? NO.
[Chalky] Medicinal? I think the best answer is NO. *murmurs from the audience*
Is alcohol involved?
[Phil] Alcoholic? NO, the AOTC does not involve alcohol. But there is a peripheral connection.
[Chalky] By the same token, I guess that's true for your question, too.
Is the AOTC the name of a meal?
Is it always both vegetable and mineral, or is it sometimes just vegetable or just mineral?
[Chalky] Name that meal? NO.
[Q] One not both? YES. While the vast majority of the AOTC is both mineral and vegetable, sometimes the answer is just one of those things. *applause*
Begins with a P?
Hmm.
Is its primary function to be ingested?
Energy drinks?
Would it normally be consumed towards the end of a meal?
[Tuj] Having the usual? NO, not this time.
[Q] Primarily ingestible? NO.
[Chalky] Energy drink? NO.
[Phil] Finishing touch? NO.
Intended for topical application?
[Q] A dab here or there? YES. *generous applause from the audience*
suncream?
Lube?
How naughty!
[Chalky] SPF-something? NO.
[Q] Slippery stuff? NO. But I like the way you think. :-)
Moisturiser?
Condoms?
[Raak] Day or night cream? NO. *audience applauds nonetheless*
[Chalky] Barrier method? NO.
Cleanser?
[Chalky] Good clean fun? NO.
Lipsalve?
Toothpaste?
[Q] Good clean teeth? NO.
[Chalky] Lip salve? Well, not exactly -- hence my equivocating on the question of whether the thing was medicinal. The AOTC is actually the purely decorative (and much more fun) relative of lip salve --lip gloss-- but I think you are due the baton. Here, take this miniature one from my handbag! I hope Plum Passion is your shade.
for the win
[cfm] Mighty generous of you - in my mind lip balm, lip gloss and lip stick were also queuing for the limelight .. it was just a matter of timing.

Now - dare I unleash this ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections?
Fictional?
Animal = human?
a work of art?
A philosophy?
The bee's knees?
round up
[Gusset Login] Fictional? NO
[CdM] Animal = Human? YES
[NotJohn] Work Of Art? NO
[Phil] A philosophy? Erm .. NO
[Tuj] Knees of bees? NO
A human invention?
Associated with governance?
[Tuj] Human invention? YES
[Quendalon] Associated with governance? YES *audience stirs*
Surely it's anarcho-syndicalism then?
[Tuj] *fingers crossed*
[Tuj, Phil] Anarcho-syndicalism? Shurely NOT I'm afraid *audience murmuration*
Begins with a P?
Phew!
Related to the making of laws?
Associated with a specific individual?
A specific style of governance?
[Tuj] P? NO
[cfm] Related to law-making? YES
[CdM] Specific individual? YES
[nights] Specific style of governance? YES
Marxism?
[Gusset Login] Marxism? NO
Is the specific individual a politician?
Summat like democracy and all people being equal and all that sort of malarky?
[CdM] A politician? NO
[Dujon] Democracy equality malarky? NO
Named for the individal it's associated with?
[Quendalon] Named for the individual it's associated with? Am not clear what your "it's" is referencing (the AOTC?) - however I will respond with a cautious YES.
Does the individual's name appear as part of the AOTC?
[CdM] Name on AOTC? Not exactly .. *audience applauds question*
Is it Thatcherism?
Is the individual an ancient historic figure?
[nights] Thatcherism? NO
[cfm] Ancient historic figure? Could be.
Does the identity of the specific individual change over time?
That is, at any moment there is just one such individual, but it is not always the same person.
[CdM] Changing identity? YES *more applause*
A dictatorship?
Associated with a particular country?
Is there a religious connection in addition to the connection to governance?
[Phil] Dictatorship? NO
[Raak] Associated with a particular country? YES
[cfm] Also a religious connection? YES
Connected with Christianity?
A monarch?
Pope Francis?
[Quendalon] Christianity connection? Yes-ish
[Raak] A monarch? YES!!!! Yesyesyes!!!
[cfm] NO - not the Popey.
The King or Queen of England, Defender of the Faith
[Raak] The King or Queen of England, Defender of the Faith? Absolutely YES. That's the ANIMAL bit - now guess the ABSTRACT *audience senses a dénouement*
The British monarchy?
[Raak] The British monarchy certainly relates to the AOTC but you are travelling away from the solution. Most questions so far have centred on the Animal connection - the Abstract is yet to be resolved.
Order of Succession to the UK Throne?
Hair apparent?
[Phil] Order of Succession? NO
[GL] Hirsuteness? NO
The Supreme Governor of the Church of England?
Thought I'd answered this earlier ..
.. sorry to keep you. Now ..
[Raak] The Supreme Governor of the Church of England? If that's what she also is then I am bound to say YES.
However, that is not the AOTC. Having established some guesses back that Her Maj is the 'animal' perhaps some lateral thinking is required to find the 'abstract'.
In Her Majesty's case is this an event of some sixty years ago?
[Hi Dujon] An event? NO
.. can't reply if no-one asks :(
Am shortly away from the 'net until approx 2200 BST
Summary
We are looking for the name of a specific style of government. It was named after the current Queen of England and other people but only one at a time. It isn't Monarchy and doesn't begin with P.

Have I missed anything?
Divine Right?
Ends with -ism?
[Gusset Login] Thanks for your brave attempt at a summary ..
.. however - we are actually looking for an ABSTRACT which has the Queen of England as its ANIMAL connection ( and it still feels somewhat treasonable typing that ...)

As you were ;-)
continuum
NOT a style of government ... NOT a title. It certainly has the Queen of GB, Ireland, Dominions blah be blah etc. as its core but if you guessed a memorial ceramic plate with her face on it .. well that would be mineral obviously ... but you'd be closer than you have been thus far :-)
Elizabethanism?
It is I, Rosie.
[Tcb] Elizabethanism? NO.
My bad - didn't reply to [Raak] and [Quendalon] NO not divine right nor an -ism.
Is it a doctrine?
[Rosie] Thanks for joining in - but NO - it's not a doctrine or a philosophy etc.

Most of questions along these lines related purely to the Animal connection - very few have asked what type of Abstract this is. 'Is it a work of art' came the closest. For those that can be bothered I would suggest forget all that has gone before - concentrate on standard Abstract questioning ..
Coinage?
[gil] Coinage? NO - but *audience applauds this line of questioning*
The Divine Right of Kings?
Given that "to do with religion" was established.
[Phil] The Divine Right of Kings? Still NO. Religious connection was established to confirm the Animal, ie. Her Maj.
Having said that - one of the words in the AOTC is 'God'. < < < clue!
"Dieu et Mon Droit"?
straw-clutching
"God Save The King/Queen/Other"?
[Phil] Mon Dieu! Drat! NON
[Raak] God Save The King/Queen/Other? - that well-known phrase or saying [another standard Abstract question that wasn't asked] is about as close as it gets without being the AOTC
*audience cheering in desperation willing Raak, or anyone really, even a lurker, to make the leap .. *
Who are you, the Queen of England?
The National Anthem?
Is this an alternative title for the monarch?
Honi soit qui mal y pense?
[Phil] Pass us a straw, mate.
Allelulia Phil!
The Abstract is a SONG - the SONG is the AOTC which was 'The British National Anthem - God Save Our Gracious Queen' [who was the Animal connection all the way through]
Thank you Phil - here's a victorious, happy and glorious baton ...

Golly, thanks Chalky. Long did you reign over us with that one - chortle chortle!
Next up is

Mineral

Liquid?
Metal?
Commonly found in the household?
[Rosie] Liquid? NO
[CHalky] Metal? NO
[Quendalon] Household object? NO
Is it a mineral [ a naturally occurring inorganic solid etc] ?
[Chalky] A (well-defined) mineral? YES
Perovskite?
[Raak] Perovskite? NO
Clarification: I meant that it is composed of a mineral.
Man made?
[GL] Man made? Ummm, YES is the best answer, I believe as it would not be recognisable as what it is without mankind.
Asbestos?
Is it unique?
Does it naturally occur in nature?
[Raak] Asbestos? NO
[Quendalon] Unique? YES
[nights] Naturally in nature? Speaking strictly about the AOTC, NO.
Is it used as a building material?
Is the metal extracted from an ore (e.g. Aluminium from Bauxite)?
Does it move?
Is it a landmark?
[Rosie] Building material? The AOTC is not, but the substance of which it is composed is.
[Dujon] metal from an ore? NO
[Tuj] Does it move? NO
[GL] Landmark? NO
A cairn?
A wahoo from 60 yards.
Made from stone/rock?
Is it in Europe?
[Rosie] A cairn? NO
[Chalky] Made from stone/rock? YES. *some applause*
[Tuj] In Europe? YES
Made of diamond?
A natural geographical feature?
A mine?
[GL] Diamond? NO
[Rosie] Natural feature? NO
[Raak] Mine? NO
In the UK?
Smaller than a Range Rover?
[Tuj] In the UK? NO
[Chalky] Smaller than Range Rover? YES
A monument?
The Blarney Stone?
[Software] A monument? NO *audience stirs*
[Chalky] De Blarney Stone? NO
Begins with a P?
A statue?
[Tuj] P word? NO
[Chalky] A statue? YES *much applause*
In Italy?
[Software] In Italy? NO
The statue of liberty?
The one in France, obviously.
In Denmark?
[GL] Liberté? NON
[Chalky] .dk? NEJ
Is this a creation of Claude Michel?
[Dujon] Claude Michel? who? NO
This statue - a female human?
[Chalky] Female human statue? YES *Applause*
Venus de Milo?
[Chalky] VdM (any relation to CdM, I've often wondered?) - YES.
Congratulations, may I pass on this severed-arm-shaped baton to you.
*curtseys*
Thanks Phil. Not sure why I chased that one - given my absence from the internets, therefore this game, for the next week. I guess I enjoyed it :)

* tosses severed-arm-shaped baton into the air hoping someone will catch it before it lands and shatters into a thousand pieces*
*reaches for the baton, but not too aggressively on account of having held it twice recently*
Shall I grab it? Oh, all right then.
It is Abstract with Animal and Mineral connections.
Animals human?
Begins with a P?
*jumps*
The title of some work?
[Rosie] Human? Mostly, I would say
[Tuj] Pish? No P anywhere
[cfm] Title of some work? Googling actually says YES, not sure that it is helpful though.
A human invention?
Do the humans have a common purpose?
Is a horse likely to be associated with this person?
Supernatural?
[Tuj] Homogeneous? NO
[Rosie] Common purpose? Mmmm, maybe but largely NO
[Duj] Horsey? Perhaps figuratively but mainly NO
[Quen] Eerie? NO
A well knwon phrase or saying?
Is the mineral aspect metal?
[GL] Adage? YESish
[Phil] Metalic? NO not exclusively.
Whoops!
I must also rap my own wrist for just noticing that I omitted Vegetable from the definition.
Is the vegetable element wood?
Does the abstract result from human activity? (eg urbanisation)
Are any of the aspects a geographical location?
*taking an interest ..*
Wow - a whole week away and not a lot has happened.
So we have an Abstract with Animal Vegetable Mineral connections and have ascertained that it's a sort of well-known phrase or saying?
Is it a place?
[Phil] Wood? NO not exclusively
[Rosie] Global Warming? Mmmm, interesting but probably NO
[GL] Geographic? NO non specific but much rarer in some locations
[Chalky] Place? NO specific location.
A naturally occurring phenomenon?
A mental process?
[Chalks] Natural? YES
[cfm] Think? NO
Is agriculture part of this?
rm? in a way YES
A weather condition?
[Chalks] Meteo? YES
Raining cats and dogs?
Datsun cogs, old ladies and sticks etc.
[Rosie] Precipitation? - NO but chuckles and random clapping from audience
Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey?
[Phil] Chilly NO * audience chuckles and talks among themselves and some spontaneous clapping *
Something to do with climate change?
[Duj] Global warming? - NO * chattering and sporadic clapping in audience *
A Weather Forecast?
[Phil] Wet seaweed? - NO * audience murmuring and sporadic clapping *
Is the weather condition adverse?
[Rosie] Adverse? - YES. * audience getting excited *
The Shipping Forecast?
Does H2O (or lack of same) feature?
[Chalks] Forth, Tyne etc? NO
[Duj] Wet n'dry? - YES! * audience getting excited *
The Biblical Flood?
Would Rosie's last comment be the antithesis of the AOTC?
Does the AOTC take the format, "X as a Y"?
Does the AOTC relate to measuring weather?
[Rosie] Noah? - NO
[Duj] Oposite? - in a way but probably NO< br> [Quen] Logic? - NO but close
[Chalks] Meteo? - NO
Clue time: 4 words 2 the same relating to weather.
As right as rain?
[Chalks] Wet, wet , wet? - NO * gasps of anticipation and clapping from audience *
As dry as dust?
Are the two identical words "the"?
Hot as hell?
[Raak] Dusty - NO
[Rosie] Definite article?NO
[cfm] Bong! Right on the money!

As hot as hell is on the card. Well it felt that way when I kicked this one off! I hand over the iced baton to cfm.

Now that's a surprise. I was pretty much lost during all of that that round.
Well then, let's try ANIMAL WITH ANIMAL AND ABSTRACT CONNECTIONS
Is the primary animal human?
[Chalky] I suppose that I should have asked "Does it have any supernatural associations?" rather than the vaguer "Supernatural?"
[Q] Human first and foremost? YES.
Richard the Lionheart?
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?
I'll behave next time ;)
Is the secondary animal canine?
Begins with P?
Me And You And A Dog Named Boo - Lobo?
[Quendalon] *confused face*?
[GL] Dickheart? NO
[Dujon] The end of the world as we know it? NO
[CdM] Woof? YES *audience is too awed to applaud*
[Tuj] Having the usual, I see? NO
[Chalky] That 70s sound? NO
Is the canine a specific, identified dog?
[CdM] Name that dog? After a bit of research (and also technically speaking), NO. But YES would not have been a bad answer. :-)
One man and his dog?
(Went to mow a meadow.)
Would Julius Caesar be pertinent to the AOTC?
Anubis?
[Chalky] Oops! That should have been aimed at Software.
fictional?
[GL] One plus one? NO
[Dujon] Roman rule? NO--at least not as far as I know or could identify from a Wikipedia search.
[Q] I want my mummy? NO
[Chalky] Storytime? NO
Is the human a specific, identified person?
Is this a well-known phrase or saying?
[CdM] Can I see some ID, please? YES
[Chalky] "It's like they say..."? NO
Is this person alive?
[Tuj] Still among us? YES
Showbiz connection?
[Software] You oughtta be in pictures? YES, but I fear this may lead you astray. *nods among the audience*
Famous for doing something rather than who he/she is?
[GL] Real life action hero? YES.
Human=male?
[Chalky] Dude? YES
Has this man been depicted in film(s) but not appeared there?
[Dujon] I don't have sufficient knowledge answer your question. But I will answer another. YES, this man has appeared in films.
The abstract connection? Is that the 'films' bit? Documentaries?
I don't think I have sufficient knowledge of man with dog appearing in films .. so may withdraw my participation. Hope others demonstrate a little more curiosity ...
[Chalky] That's a big [YES] Don't drop out. :-( You've made an important connection!
Steve Irwin?
[Software] Mass market wildlife expert? NO
Hint: It might help to probe a little more on the abstract connection...
One Man And His Dog?
[Raak] Sheepdog drama? NO But one man and his dogs? YES :-)
Actaeon, torn apart by his own hounds?
[Raak] Bloody mess? NO. Was there a film about that? :-)
Are these multiple dogs all presented as if they were the same fictional dog (e.g. like when Lassie was periodically re-cast)
Has Timmy fallen down the well, again?
Is this USA-centric?
[Projoy, GL] Lass-a-likes? NO
[Chalky] Red, white and blue? YES and NO. The human is American. The dogs, I believe, are ethnically German.
Is he an explorer?
Are the dogs Dalmatians?
[cfm] Film? I don't know, but I'd watch it if there was.
Christopher Plummer and the Hounds of Munich?
I am completely stumped!
[Chalky] Explorer? NO, not unless you are speaking metaphorically.
[Raak] Spot the AOTC? NO *audience applauds enthusiastically at this line of questioning*
[Phil] Von Trapped? NO. (hint: the human is not an actor, although he has appeared on TV and in film.)
Is there a succession of dogs, rather than a number of dogs at one time?
If that makes sense. I'm remembering when I chose the MGM lion and discovered there had been (I think) four of them.
[CdM] YES and NO. There was at least one well-known succession but there have also been multiple simultaneous dogs. (Is it just me, or does that sound kinda dirty?)
Are the dogs Alsations/German Shepherds?
Just for my own clarification purposes.
Is the abstract connection musical?
[Dujon] A/GSs? NO *audience still approves of this line of questioning*
(Also, it's just you.)
[CdM] Rhythm and rhyme and harmony? NO *audience applauds nonetheless*
cartoon/cgi dachshunds?
Clearly I haven't the foggiest what this is .. don't know why I'm bothering.
Or even dancing dogs?
Is the abstract connection artistic?
You did say we should pursue it...
Turner and Hooch?
[Chalky] Dancing cartoon dachshunds? NO *audience claps encouragingly*
[CdM] But is it art? YES *loud cheering*
[Phil] Tom Hanks? NO The AOTC only has a tangential connection to show biz.

To summarize, we are talking about a contemporary American artist (male) working with multiple dogs of a German breed that is not the shepherd or Dachsund. He has appeared on at least two famous American TV shows and in his own films. I will add that those appearances may not be the only connection to film. And I will apologize for choosing what appears to be an extremely obscure AOTC. My guess, however, is that many of you would recognize this man's (iconic, really) work, which is held in the permanent collections of major museums including the the Museum of Modern Art in New York and the Smithsonian. A quick scan of his biography informs me that his work has also been exhibited in London, Paris, Madrid, Amsterdam, Munich, Seoul and Singapore.
Pinschers?
[Projoy] Police pup? NO
And I think it's time I put an end to the misery of this round. Sorry I picked such tough one. The furry baton goes to the first person who grabs it. And for those who are interested, the AOTC is revealed here.
It's good to learn new stuff
[cfm] I feel sure the AOTC would have been solved at some point. We are also missing some of our more, shall we say - forensic? gameplayers.
Chalky I'll take the fresh baton, thanks. I did give up a turn a few weeks back.
And now for a puzzler that everyone will have heard of .. A N I M A L
Human?
[cfm] You are too hard on yourself! I had certainly heard of the AOTC and know the photographs. I think I ended up getting stuck on the film angle, even though you did warn us that it might be a red herring.
An individual, unique animal?
[cfm] I'd never heard of him, but one man's obvious being another man's obscure is part of the fun of life.
[Phil] An individual, unique animal? NO
*points quietly at CdM's question*
[CdM] Human? NO
A pet?
Alive?
[Dujon] A Pet? NO
[CdM] Alive? YES
Found in UK?
A mammal?
[Softers] In UK ? YES
[CFM] Mammal? NO
An arachnid?
An insect?
A duck?
[Dujon] Arachnid? Technically NO .. *applause*
[Rosie] ... Insect? YES *enthusiastic applause*
[Sir Bedevere] Duck? NO
Can it sting?
Does one generally enounter them as a swarm or infestation -- as opposed to a lone bug?
[Rosie] Sting? Not 'sting' exactly ...
[cfm] Swarm or infestation? YES *audience getting excited*
*chances it* Mosquitos?
Midges?
Does it belong to the order of Hymenoptera?
Please ignore that, Chalky. From personal experience I know only too well that some of them can indeed sting.
[cfm] Mosquitos? NO
[Rosie] Midges? NO
*ignores Dujon's question*
Locusts?
Do they fly?
ladybirds?
[Raak] Locusts? NO
[CdM] Do they fly? NO
[Softers] Ladybirds? NO
This can be solved within 20 questions if you look back to where the audience got a bit excited ...
Ants?
They're made of Formica.
[Rosie] Formica Ants? NO
Do they attack vegetation?
Fleas?
Is this a common parasite found on humans?
[Rosie] Attackers of veg? NO
[cfm] fleas? NO
[Dujon] Common parasite found on humans? YES - three quarters of your question is correct, the other quarter half correct! *audience senses a result*
Lice?
As soon as I typed the word I started scratching...
Bed bugs?
Tapeworms?
Being in humans rather than on them.
[CdM] Lice? NO
[Raak] Tapeworms? NO

But Software has it on the 21st question - the AOTC being Bed bugs.
*gingerly hands over an insecticide-sprayed baton*
Well I'm Blowed!
* Carefully accepts baton from Chalky wearing surgical gloves *

Twice in quick succession. Well, well!

Now what do we have here? Another ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.

* Scantily clad girl parades the answer card in front of the audience *

Pornography?
[Phil] *laughs*
A human idea or concept?
A fictional place?
Unique?
[Phil] DIY passtime? - NO
[Rosie] Man made? - YES
[GL] Fairy story? - NO
[Duj] Only one? - depends on pedantic interpretation but generally NO
Humans with a common purpose?
[Rosie] Mass conciseness? - NO (although may be disputed when the AOTC is revealed, perhaps)
Are there animal connections other than human?
Is this an idea, political or social, say?
[cfm] Bestial - NO (although some may dispute this)
[Rosie] Conceptual? - YES
Anarcho-syndicalism?
[GL] Direct Action - NO (I had to look that up so no chance of it being the AOTC!)
Anything to do with economics?
Does it begin with P?
Is it a sandwich?
[Rosie] Money, money money? - NO * a few claps from the audience and some chattering *
[CdM] P-ish - NO
[Chalks] Cheese and tomato on brown? - NO
Virgin Trains?
[Rosie] West coast delays? - NO I suppose they could be described as abstract * chuckles from audience *
Is this a symbol of something (e.g. a coat of arms or a flag)?
[Duj] Symbolic? - NO
Is it a place?
A whole week and very little interest in this one ..
Is it a well-known phrase or saying?
Is it connected to the arts?
Multi-Chalks: Place? - NO; Saw? - NO * stiring in audience * ; Arty-farty? - NO (only indirectly but that could be misleading)
A political theory?
[Rosie]Dogma? - NO
A personal philosophy or way of living?
[cfm] karma? - NO
Something to do with language?
[cfm] Chatter? - NO
Conneted to religion?
[GL] Belief? - NO
A scientific theory or hypethesis?
[Rosie] Good science? - NO
Is this a physical 'thing'?
[Duj] Physical? - NO this is an abstract concept that like many such has a physical side effect but the AOTC (3 words by the way) will make this clear
Bored to death?
Anything to do with fear?
[Chalks] Ennui? - NO maybe the participants are becoming that
[Rosie] Scary? - NO
Is this a relatively modern idea?
[Rosie] Newish? - YES end of 19 Century apparently
Anything to do with health matters?
Modern? Newish? End of 19th Century - that's 18 hundred and something! Did you just say YES so that it doesn't look as though everyone except Rosie has had a NO for the last fortnight? :-)
Anything to do with Trade Unionism?
(Chalky) 1899 is only yesterday. My Dad was alive.
[Chalks] Healthy? - NO not directly anyway- recent well not BC is it?
[Rosie] All out? - NO * some stirring in the audience *
Modern Olympic Games?
Health and Safety?
Is this a form of revolution?
[Chalks] 5 rings - NO
[Rosie] H&S Gestapo? - NO
[Duj] Uprising? - NO you are all drifting away from ABSTRACT.

CLUE: there is more than one of these

Is it a Lifestyle Choice?
Softers - please can you do a summary to say what it's NOT. Ta :-)
[Chalks] My way? - NO anyone can do it, most do.

SUMMARY - Concentrate on the ABSTRACT. It is not: a fairy story, a life choice, a saying, a game, a passtime, scientific, religious or other social theory, nothing to do with language, politics philosophy or art. ANIMAL connection is strong the others less so. Good luck, it ain't that hard!

Is it culture-specific?
[CdM] Foible? - YES - well to qualify, the AOTC is AFIK but the principle isn't
Associated primarily with the UK?
[CdM] Blighty? - YES, primarily, the AOTC is anyway.
Is it an activity, i.e. something that one does?
[Phil] Out and about? - YES and NO, perhaps is the best answer.
Is the AOTC a present participle?
as "yes and no" isn't a very useful answer :)
[Phil] Grammatical? NO The AOTC has 3 words none of which are the definite or indefinite article. Hint: When the question was set it was in the future, now it is in the past.
Does the AOTC define/describe a period of time?
The August Bank Holiday Weekend?
[Phil] Time slot? - YES
[GL] August Bank Holiday - YES!

Hurrah! * hands over Brighton rock shaped sticky baton to GL at last *

Well, that took a pointlessly long time. So, a simple ANIMAL this time.
Is it human?
[Software] were the mineral and vegetable connections the bank?
[Phil] - Human? YES have a baton. (I said it was easy)
Hahaha! Why thank you, GL!
OK, so the next one is

ANIMAL & VEGETABLE

Is the vegetable wood?
Food or drink?
[GL] Wood? NO
[Raak] Food/Drink? YES *Some early applause*
A falling out between you and Rosie?
[Dujon] Me and the old geezer coming to blows? NO!
Hidden textI'd love to know who's the vegetable...actually, maybe I wouldn't :-)
Meat and two veg?
Is it a sandwich?
[Raak] Meat+2Veg? NO
[Chalky] Sarnie? NO
Pork scratchings?
Does it need to be cooked?
[Software] Scratchings? NO
[Rosie] Need to be cooked? NO (although a perverse minuscule part of me wants to say YES)
Is the vegetable to be found in a greengrocer's?
I decline to answer your previous question (hidden) on the ground that ... ;)
[Dujon] Greengrocer's vegetable? NO
Is it an animal product?
Is the animal fish?
[Chalky] Animal product? YES *a little applause*
[GL] Fish? NO
A traditional British sausage (50% breadcrumbs)?
Is dairy produce involved?
[Raak] A banger? NO
[GL] Dairy involved? YES *some more applause*
A pizza?
Does the AOTC include a reference to a U.K. country?
Is cheese the animal element?
[Rosie] Pizza? NO
[Dujon] UK reference? NO
[Chalky] and cheesey? NO
Is it sweet rather than savoury?
[CdM] Sweet? The AOTC is not sweet.
Is yoghurt involved?
[GL] Yoghurt? NO
Is the vegetable element made from grain?
[cfm] Grain? NO
Milk?
[Software] Milk? YES, milk is involved *applause*
Are cookies also involved?
[Raak] Cookie? NO
Is it in anyway responsible for bringing boys to the yard?
[GL/Kelis] Your milkshake? NO
Ambrosia Creamed Rice?
[Chalky] Devon knows how they make it so creamy? NO
Is it casein?
[Software] Casein? NO
A comment
Rosie's question "Does it need to be cooked?" continues to weigh on my mind. No Anglophone would say that they cook the Answer on the Card, but cooking of some sort or other is involved in the process of turning naturally occurring ingredients into the AOTC.
Is it a salad of some sort?
Weirdly enough .. the cooking thing .. was the one reply which has completely thrown my train of thought ...
A biscuit of some kind?
[Chalky] Salady? NO
[Rosie] Biscuity? NO
Butter?
Custard?
[Chalky] Butter? NO
[GL] Custard? NO
OH NO !!!!!
I've just reviewed my answers and noticed that when Chalky asked "Is it an animal product", I said "YES". I should specify that only the animal part is an animal product, the vegetable part isn't. Hope that helps ! :-)
PANIC OVER!!!
[Phil] Fret ye not - that's what I meant.
In summary: The AOTC is 'Animal Product' plus a 'Vegetable' (but not a vegetable to be found in a greengrocer) somehow linked together. Edible/Potable. Doesn't need to be cooked. Milk is involved.
I'll now ask a question, if I may ...
Is there an alcoholic content to this?
[Chalky] Alcoholic? NO
A bit more summary
One would not "cook" the AOTC but some form of "cooking" is involved at some point in creating the AOTC from naturally occurring ingredients.
Is yeast involved?
[Phil] Thanks - I was thinking fermentation - hence the alcohol question.
[Chalky] Yeast? NO
Sour cream and chive flavoured crisps?
A hint...
A follow-up to the 2nd question asked (Rosie's first) would be useful.
Drink?
[Chalky] Drink? YES *relieved applause*
A skinny latte or somesuchlike?
[Chalky] A latte? CORRECT. Congratulations! Now does my dithering over "cooked" make sense? Anyway, have this tax-avoiding baton...
Thanks Phil - we managed to sort that one out between ourselves :)
*raises a tasse of full fatte latte*

Staying with the Keep It Simple agenda - here's a lively little A N I M A L
Human?
[Rosie] Human? YES
Is/was this person short in stature?
[Dujon] Is/was this person short in stature? YES
Napoleon?
[Software] Napoleon? NO
Is this person alive?
[Software] Napoleon wasn't short, apparently, he was just portrayed as short for propaganda purposes. A bit of googling, and my suspicions are confirmed. He was about 5'7" (1.70m), over 2 inches taller than average for France at the time, and just about exactly average for the UK. Reference here
[Phil] Is this person alive? YES
re. Boney - grossly misrepresented ... poor sod.
An entertainer?
Does this person have a name consisting of two identical syllables?
[Rosie] An entertainer? NO
[Dujon] A name consisting of two identical syllables? NO
Nicolas Sarkozy?
keeping with the French theme ...
There's a French theme..???
[Software] Nicolas Sarkozy? NON
Sandy Toksvig?
(Appolgies for the spelling I don't have time to check it.)
[GL] Sandy Toksvig? NO
John Bercow?
[Rosie] John Bercow? NO

This is supposed to be a nice easy quick one - random guesses of allegedly vertically-challenged individuals will lead nowhere .. and I'm already bored
Male?
British?
Under 35?
3 yesses!
[Rosie] Male? YES
[Software] British? YES
[Gusset Login] Under 35? YES
Is he a 'child prodigy'?
[Dujon] Child prodigy? Not exactly a prodigy ..*huge cheer from audience*
George, prince of cambridge?
YES - the very chap! HRH George, Prince of Cambridge.
*Hands silver-spoon shaped baton to Gusset Login*
Thank you. I guess he is a little short for a stormtrooper.

OK. This one is a MINERAL with possible abstract and animal connections.
Is this a unique object?
Metallic?
Manufactured?
[Phil] Unique? YES
[Software] Metal? NO
[Rosie] Manufactured? Um... it is man-made, if that's what you mean, but not mass produced, obviously.
A monument or statue?
[Software] Monument or Statue? YES. *Applause*
In England?
[Rosie] England? NO.
A well known male sans fig leaf?
[Dujon] A well known male without a fig leaf? As written, the answer has to be 'partly'. As intended, the answer would be very much NO. Take your pick.
Rodin's The Thinker?
[Software] The thinker? NO.

To clarify my answer to Dujon, the AOTC involves the image of a man who is not wearing a fig leaf but does not involve naked men in any way that I know of.
Is it a statue of just one person?
A political figure?
In Europe?
[Phil] A statue of just one person? The statue part of it is of one person.
[Rosie] A political figure? YES.
[Software] In Europe? NO.
In America?
[Gravy] 'Mer'ca? Yes
The Lincoln Monument?
Does the word Washington appear on the card?
[Dujon] Does Washington feature? NO
[Phil] Lincoln Monument/Memorial? YES. Have a baton purchased from the John Wilkes booth.
I have to give credit to the film "Night at the Museum 2" for raising my awareness of the Lincoln Monument, and more recently the 50th anniversary of the "I have a dream" speech, without which I would never have guessed that.
Anyway, onwards and upwards....our next AVMA is

Abstract with Animal

Is it a sandwich?
[Chalky] A sandwich? Alas, NO
Phrase or saying?
[Software] Phrase or saying? NO
One of the Seven Deadly Sins?
... or all of them?
[Chalky] A sin or seven? NO
A fictional person?
Grand Theft Auto V?
[GL] A fictional person? On this occasion I'll be generous and allow you the two questions in one - YES and NO
[Chalky] GTA V? NO
A fictional animal?
[Chalky] Fictional animal? YES *some applause*
A mermaid?
skippy?
A named individual fictional animal?
[Software] Mermaid? NO
[GL] Skippy? NO
[Raak] Named individual fictional animal? YES *a little more applause*
Created by A.A.Milne?
Has this named fictional animal appeared in more than one of the following media: book, film, TV, radio, grand opera?
[Dujon] A.A.Milne? NO
[CdM] In more than one of: book. film, TV, radio, grand opera? YES
A Disney character?
[Lovely Gravy] Disney? NO
Human?
Nobody has checked this yet.
Dog?
[Software] Actually, I did.
Was the creator male?
[Software] Human? NO (yes to fictional animal, no to fictional person, hence not a person. You are correct that nobody asked that question directly though)
[GL] Dog? YES *more applause*
[Dujon] Male creator? YES
Any connection with the Simpsons?
[Lovely G] Connection with the Simpsons? YES, but not an important connection, IMHO.
Greyfriar's Bobby?
Did this character first appear in print?
Did they first appear on TV?
[Software] Greyfriar's Bobby? NO
[Dujon] First appearance in print? YES
[GL] First appearance on TV? NO (see above)
Lassie?
[Ye Olde Softeware] Lassie? NO
Was s/he introduced in a childrens' story?
[Dujon] In a children's story? NO
Astonised of Berkshire
Ooops, not sure what happened there, but I thought I'd add a summary, just to help out, as I thought this would be simple. Not that there's much to summarize.
This is a fictional dog; created by a man; has appeared in multiple media (from the list: book, film, tv, radio, Grand Opera), but first appeared in print; has a slight link to The Simpsons (which is unlikely to be useful).
The AOTC was not created by A.A.Milne; is not a Disney character; is neither Greyfriars Bobby nor Lassie; was not introduced in a children's story.
The hound of the baskervilles?
[GL] HotB? NO
Toto
[Chalky] Toto? NONO
Created by Homer?
[Dujon] A Homeric character? NO
A clue
An assumption appears to have been made.
Is it a cartoon dog?
.. such as Scooby Doo?
[Chalky] A cartoon dog? YES *Much applause*
[Ibid.] Scooby Doo? NO *oohs, aahs and groans of disappointment*
Snoopy?
and the Red Baron
[Software] Snoopy? YES!
My childhood hero. I still drink out of a Snoopy mug at work, which even has a Snoopy stand to sit on. Such is my fondness for the special beagle, that when I tried this AVMA on family members, and as soon as I said "fictional dog", they guessed it. The assumption, of course, was that "print" referred to books. Also, The Simpsons makes several nods in the direction of Peanuts and Snoopy - e.g. "Hungry, Hungry Homer" which was on C4 last week finds Homer asleep on top of the kennel, and Bart says "Good grief!" more here.
Here, Software, take this flying helmet, goggles and scarf set - may it serve you well!
Well, well. I'm getting too good at this.
Can I think of something that won't cause as much trouble as last time?

Let's try this, then:

MINERAL with ANIMAL and Vegetable connections.

Sorry Software - too complicated - only kidding.
But whilst we're about it, PLEASE answer the questions in a straightforward manner ... takes bloody ages to work out what you're trying to reply to usually! ;-)
:o(
Sorry, sorry, sorry ...
A building?
Margarine?
A planet?
Man-made?
[Raak] A building? - NO (not as such)
[Phil] Margarine? - NO can tell talk from mutter
[GL] A planet - NO * some discussion and shuffling among the andience *
[Rosie] Man made? - YES
A satellite?
An international project?
[Phil] Satellite? - YES
[Duj] International? - YES
The ISS?
[Raak} ISS? - YES!

Please accept this SpaceX shaped baton

The next is, nowdays, mostly MINERAL.
man made?
Yes, man made
Is it something that was previously made from wood?
Ex-wood? No.
Concrete?
[Software] *amusement in the audience* Not concrete.
Made of plastic?
< Toaster < ?
[Rosie] Not really made of plastic, as ordinary people use the word, but an industrial chemist might disagree.
[Software} Bigger than a toaster.
Does it have moving parts?
[LG] *more amusement* It certainly does.
Is it elastic?
Something to support or suspend a human?
[Phil] Not elastic.
[Dujon] Yes! It supports or suspends a human. That might give slightly the wrong idea, but it definitely does that.
Might this be found in a fairground?
[LG] Not in a fairground.
Float on water?
[Software] About as well as a dog walks on its hind legs.
Is it primarily a form of transportation?
Some form of seating?
[LG] *applause* It is a form of transportation.
[Rosie] Not a form of seating.
Is it a form of footwear?
[Phil] Not footwear.
Does it have two wheels?
Swing bridge?
[LG] Does not have two wheels.
[Software] Not a swing bridge.
Is it "traditional" such as a rickshaw?
[Rosie] Not traditional.
Does it have wheels?
[Phil] No wheels at all.
Is the 'transportation' generally vertical?
[Dujon] Exclusively vertical, as in a lift? No.
Bobsleigh?
[GL] Not a bobsleigh.
Does on stand on it?
Might this be found at an airport?
[Phil] Interpreting the preposition strictly, one does not stand on this.
[LG] Not primarily found at airports.
Hang glider?
Is it a form of airborne transport?
[GL] Not a hang glider.
[Phil] *applause* Yes! A form of airborne transport.
Parachute?
Is heated air an important part of its propulsion?
[GL] Not a parachute.
[Dujon] *cheering* Yes! Heated air! Therefore it is...?
a political campain?
A hot-air balloon?
(GL) I can see your point, but it's Mineral. :-)
[GL] Not a political campaign.
[Rosie] A hot air balloon! Hold this mooring cable for a moment, will you? Oops...don't let go!
Oh shoot!
I was thinking hot-air balloon when I asked my last question, but didn't want to make the leap of faith. Congrats, Rosie.
Moving parts? Where exactly?
Also, did not get the 'dog on hind legs' reference to its ability to float on water. Surely an inflated balloon would float very well.
[LG] The whole thing moves! The gondola wouldn't float very well, and once the water puts the fire out, neither will the balloon.
Yay! Let's hear it for Charles' Law.

OK, this next one is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS

Are the animal connections of a human nature?
(Phil) Human? Just about, i.e. YES
Phrase or saying?
(Softers) Not a phrase or saying.
Is the abstract a human behaviour?
(Duj) Not a human beviour.
Is there a connection to football?
Or is there a connection to the Tory Party?
Is it an institution or organisation type thing?
(CdM) It would take a conspiracy theorist of a high order to connect this with either of your suggestions.
(Phil) Strictly no, but possibly in a figurative sense.
Fictional?
Is there a misical connection?
Sorry, musical
(LG) Essentially no musical connection.
Fictional human(ish)?
(Softers) No. Real humans.
Is it a system of government?
(GL) Not a form of government. *slight amusement in the audience*
If not strictly an organisation, is it an informal collective of individuals?
(LG) Rather the opposite of informal.
OK then, a formal collective of individuals?
(Phil) Not a collective.
A different tack is needed.
Related to media?
(cfm) Media-related? YES.
A business cabal of some kind?
(Dujon) Not a business cabal.
Related to the news?
(GL) Not connected with the news.
Related to entertainment?
A spin doctor?
(cfm) Related to entertainment? YES.
(Softers) Spin doctors? The very last thing need by the AOTC. So, er, NO.
Are sattelites involved?
(Dujon) No satellites, natural or otherwise.
Related to prestidigitation?
Specifically related to television?
(Softers) No sleight of hand involved.
(cfm) Telly? YES. *applause*
An announcer?
(Softers) No, not an announcer, not even the mellifluous Charlotte Green. :-(
"Reality" television?
(cfm) Not "reality" television.
Is it the name of a TV programme?
(Lovely Gravy) The name of a TV programme? YES. *audience animation*
Surely not Paxman?
(Software) Paxman? He is certainly involved.
University Challenge?
(CdM) Morniverse - JOHN! Of course it is. Well done. I hand you the furry animal. And it's goodnightfrommegoodnight.
Yes, well, that wasn't quite a lurker's victory, since I did ask questions earlier on, but I clearly stood on the shoulders of slightly-taller-than-average people, there.

This isVEGETABLE with ABSTRACT and ANIMAL connections.
A leek?
Edible?
Leek? No.
Edible? No.
The True Cross?
Paxman?
True Cross? No. *tiny smattering of applause*
Paxman? No.
An artefact?
Is it a cauliflower with aspirations to become a moose?
Is it made of wood?
Artifact? No.
Upwardly-mobile cauliflower? No.
Wooden? Yes.
Is the abstract a religious matter?
Abstract = religious? Yes. *applause*
Is the religion Christianity?
A crucifix?
Christianity? No.
Crucifix? No.
Native American?
Native American? No.
In a round about way could the animal portion involve bats?
Bats? Er. As far as I know it would have to be very roundabout.
Used in the course of prayer?
The use-mention distinction
Used in prayer? No (though I am not sure if it is ever mentioned in the course of prayer; I suppose it might be).
Is the animal connection human?
Just to prevent misplaced assumptions
Is the religion Roman Catholic?
Roman Catholic? No. (We already knew it is not Christianity)
Is it made in the form of the animal connection?
Oops, missed Phil's question.
Animal connection = human? The main animal connection is human, yes. (There are also many other less direct animal connections, both human and nonhuman.)
Made in the form of the animal connection? No.
Would this be most likely to have been constructed in Russia?
Could this be lifted by a person of average proportions?
Sorry, missed the Christianity bit.
Constructed in Russia? No.
Liftable? No.
Does it relate to a specific religion?
Specific religion? Yes.
Is the religion Buddhism?
Let's home in a bit
Buddhism? Yes. *applause*
A temple?
The Bodhi Tree?
Is it carved?
Getting right to the point
The Bodhi tree? Yes! *takes chainsaw, fells tree, and fashions baton for Chalky*
Oooops
A genuine Lurker's Victory - thanks to all who set up my re-entry to this game.

A N I M A L
Dame Shirley Williams?
[Gusset Login] Dame Shirley Williams? Inspired - but NO.
Well, Dame Shirley bleed'n Porter, then?
Sorry for not taking this too seriously at the moment. Things will improve.
Is the animal human?
[Rosie] Well, Dame Shirley bleed'n Porter, then? Eff'n NO.
[Basics] Is the animal human? YES
Is the human alive?
[Phil] Is the human alive? YES
Is this a female?
A politician?
Is this person's native language English?
.. thought I'd replied already
And again ..
[LG] Female? Might be.
[Rosie] Politician? Might be.
[CdM] Native language English? Might be.
Is this one specific person?
Is it a group of people with a common goal (e.g. a choir or a football team)?
[Phil] One specific person? Most likely - so YES.
[Dujon] Group of people? Most unlikely - so NO.
Culture specific?
[CdM] Culture specific? Not sure what you mean - culture is a big word. I'd say NO.
A particular role or post?
[Software] Particular role/post? This person certainly has a role/part to play so a tentative Yes.
At the moment you are reading this, is the AOTC a single identifiable individual?
[CdM] Single identifiable individual? Well spotted - NO.
.. but I still think the additional word ABSTRACT would have been misleading. You may disagree .. :)
Does the person who represents the AOTC know that they are the AOTC?
Sorry - been out and about and away from t'interwebs ...
[Phil] Does the person who represents the AOTC know that they are the AOTC? Not a scooby doo - NO
Is the person a creation of one's imagination?
Is the AOTC a different person for each one of us?
[Rosie] Is the person a creation of ones imagination? NO
[CdM] Is the AOTC a different person for each one of us? NO
An actor?
Does this person perform a service?
[Software] An actor? Unlikely but can't say for sure.
[Rosie] Perform a service? Insomuch as they are the subject of this puzzle - I have to say yes.
Have you met someone who is an AOTC?
[CdM] Have I met someone who is an AOTC? This particular someone is the only one who *could* be the AOTC. Whether or not I've met them already is irrelevant.
Will the AOTC be selected at birth?
[GL] Will the AOTC be selected at birth? NO .. what an odd question!
Is the AOTC the person who is the AOTC?
If so, it's Not Fair.
[Rosie] Is the AOTC the person who is the AOTC? NO - but I like your thinking! *Audience senses a breakthrough*
CdM?*
*(being the winner of this round)
I think that counts as a win, Monsieur C de M.
The actual Words On The Card are The Person Who Guesses That They Are The Winner Of This Round.
I toyed with the notion of adding ABSTRACT to the description but really couldn't be bothered with the standard questioning that might've come my way ;-)

Besides - you ARE a real person, aren't you?

*baton fashions itself into CdM-shape and flies to Daddy*
Interestingly, though Rosie's answer was not the answer on the card, it was a correct answer.
ANIMAL
Indeed it was.
Human?
[Chalky] Congrats on your delightfully bewildering round - that was fun!
Dame Shirley Williams?
Human?
(CdM) I'm flattered, despite the logical impasse. Not to worry - all statements made by ethnic-Welsh Londoners are false anyway.
Human? Yes. *some audience murmuring, which abates when they read the footnotes on the card*
Shirley Williams? No.
Human? Yes. *no murmuring, because the audience members have read the footnotes on the card*
Human with footnotes?
An armless pianist?
Human with footnotes? Yes. Your point? (OK. I think the most useful answer is yes. But it is possible to claim that a simple Yes is misleading.)
Handicapped pianist? No.
Is this a named human?
Is this more than one human?
Is this less than one human?
Good questions
Named human? No.
More than one human? The AOTC is not more than one human. *smattering of applause, nonetheless*
Less than one human? Yes. *some applause, and some discussion among the more pedantic audience members*
A severed head?
Severed head? No.
A diminutive human?
Small person? No. ("Less than a human", Software??)
blood?
Only human?
pre-birth?
Part of a specific human?
Blood? No.
Only human? This is where the footnotes come in. I am thinking of the AOTC in a sense specific to humans, but it can apply to other animals as well. You will almost certainly find it more helpful just to think about humans, though.
Pre-birth? No.
Part of a human? Yes. Part of a specific human? No.
A limb?
Limb? No.
An organ?
I nearly asked "Nigel Farage?" given the "Less than a human" answer :-)
Alive?
An organ? No.
Alive? No. *a little audience muttering*
Anything to do with medical research (stem cells etc)?
A cadaver?
Fingernails?
A beard or whiskers?
Medical research? No.
Cadaver? No.
Fingernails? No.
Beard/whiskers? Not the AOTC, but *massive applause*
A mustache?
A moustache? Yes! I am currently growing one as part of Movember (one of the founders of which is an alumni of the school where I now teach). I haven't had a moustache (without beard) since I was about 18, I think—and, if I do say so myself, I think it looks absolutely hideous. So if you feel like throwing support towards my Movember team, you can click here. It is a worthwhile cause.
*plucks out hairs one by one* and weaves them into a baton for cfm*

*ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!
Sorrysorrysorry
Alumnus. As you were.
*clicks*
*is positively crushed to find no photo of moustachioed CdM*
*donates*
Okay, this next one is ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL ASSOCIATIONS
The idea of CdM with a moustache?
[Raak] *laughs* but NO :-)
A dog's life?
[cfm] Thank you. For a sufficiently large donation I will send you a photograph of someone with a moustache that, for all you know, could be me.
A fictional human?
[CdM] Er...not that crushed. :-)
Familiar phrase featuring pups? NO.
[GL] NO. The AOTC is abstract. I think that is the proper answer to your question...
Would many people consider the abstract to be a form of art?
Is the abstract associated with animal behaviour?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Dujon] Art for the masses? NO
[Rosie] Oh, behave!? YES
[Chalky] Famous expression? NO
Is this behaviour regarded as a good thing?
[Rosie] Well-behaved? YES and NO. There a number of animal behaviors associated with the AOTC. Some are good, some are not.
The mating season?
[Rosie] Fun and games? NO. *a few murmurs from the audience*
A form of 'showing off'?
[Dujon] Theatricality? YES. There is an element of theatricality associated with the behavior that is associated with the AOTC. (Reminding everyone that the behavior is not the AOTC.)
Acting the fool?
[Software] Fool me once? NO
Is fear involved?
A song?
[Rosie] Scary stuff? YES, in some instances. But many other emotions might also be associated.
[Chalky] A musical solution? NO. But come to think, there is a movie title closely related to the AOTC...FWIW. :-)
A board contest?
[Dujon] Board contest? Not sure what you mean. A board game like Monopoly? NO. A skate boarding contest? NO. Opposition to someone's nomination to a Board of Directors? NO. Or did you mean something else?
Is the AOTC a result or consequence of the associated behaviors we've been discussing?
[Chalky] A result of the behaviors? YES *audience applauds vigorously*
Is the AOTC a performance?
[Phil] Showtime? NO. Not in the traditional sense. But metaphorically speaking, one could relate it to a finale. *audience applauds encouragingly*
Is there a connection to sleep?
[GL]Perchance to dream? NO
Is this an abstract 'thing' awarded as a result of a result?
Sorry for the earlier rather broad question.
[Dujon] An award? I think the best answer is NO, not in the traditional sense of honoring or gifting someone. But but but...*audience encourages this line of thinking with hoots and hollers*
Is this an accolade?
Peer pressure?
[Phil] Highest praise? NO.
[Rosie] Everybody's doing it? NO, that is not the AOTC. However, since peer pressure is frequently one of the behaviors that results in the AOTC...*audience continues to applaud*
Posting to Youtube?
The herd instinct?
[GL] YouPost? NO
[Rosie] Bovine behavior? NO
Dieting?
[Chalky] Losing it? NO.
Let's have a look at where we are.
The AOTC is not a behavior in and of itself. It is the result of more than one behavior. Though no one asked specifically, the AOTC is the result of human behavior. One of behaviors associated with the AOTC has an element of performance about it though it is not a performance in the traditional fine art or entertainment sense. If the behavior were a performance, however, the AOTC could be likened to the finale of same. Peer pressure is often involved. Though not an award per se, one or more of the behaviors associated with giving an an award are also associated with the AOTC. I will throw in for free that the AOTC is a noun.
Are the people engaging in these behaviours part of a specific profession?
[CdM] On the job? YES. Professional behavior is involved.*approving applause*
A degree?
[Chalky] It's academic? NO. But *applause* because that's a noun and the final result of a series of behaviors.
a job promotion?
[Chalky] Climbing the ladder? NO.
An ASBO?
Anything to do with sport?
[GL] An acronym I had to look up? NO.
[Rosie] Sportsman-like? NO. But there are winners and losers associated. *applause*
Is it generally a negative acheivement?
By which I mean, for example, the 'wooden spoon' in a sporting tournament.
[Lovely Gravy] Unhappy face? MAYBE. (See "there are winners and losers associated" above.)
Does the noun relate to marriage?
Does the abstract noun relate to death?
[Dujon] Love or marriage? NO.
[Chalky] Mortality? NO.
Does this occur in a particular geographical location?
Twenty-nine questions over twenty days might indicate scant interest in this little puzzler - even my curiousity meter is twitching around 'indifferent'.
So it's not connected to love, marriage, birth, death, academia, job development, sport or the performing arts - is not a well-known phrase or saying or an an 'award', per se?
Does it involve a voting procedure?
Is it connected to the medical profession?
Would this have been possible 30 years ago?
[Chalky] Particular geographical location? NO, it happens in many locations.
[Chalky 2] Involves voting? YES, often.
[Chalky 3] Medical connection? YES and NO. It is not a critical connection but some of the most famous examples include a medical connection.
[Chalky 4] Possible 30 years ago? YES. And also 300 years ago.
*vigorous applause for the somewhat indifferent player*
Is this a leadership matter?
I've given up.
I apologize. I guess I am really bad at this game. Next time i get the baton, I will just pass it on.
The AOTC is "verdict" -- in the legal sense, the finale of a trial, which involves some degree of performance on the part of both attorneys and witnesses...and which also involves voting, at least in my experience as a juror.
[cfm] Sorry you feel the need to apologise - there was nothing wrong with your choice really.
Something I've said before on more than one occasion ... I think it helps to reply to a question without changing the questioner's original wordage. Spinning a question forces a 'double read' which can get tiresome. It can also mislead, eg. your reply to CdM's key question regarding a specific profession didn't inspire a rigorous follow-up and perhaps should have?
[Chalky] Thank you for the advice.
*raises, then lets the baton fall once on the desk and leaves it for whomever*
[cfm] I've only been in the chair once. It can be quite difficult to respond to questions in a manner relative. Some people are quite adept at it. I wasn't. Don't dwell on it, regardless of the somewhat snide comments you might receive.
If no one else is taking it.
[cfm] Don't worry about it. I've made the same mistakes before, we all have.

To hurry things along I will pick up this discarded baton and offer an ABSTRACT with MINERAL & ANIMAL connections.
A work of art?
[cfm] Work of art? I would say Yes, but not everyone would agree.
A singular work (versus a category of same?)
20/21 century?
[cfm] A thing, not a type of thing? Yes.
[Software] After 1900? Yes.
A piece of visual art?
[cfm] Visual Art? I said before, not everyone would agree it was even art. That said, if it is art, it probably qualifies as visual art. (I am guided solely by Wikipedia in this matter, however).
Could it be regarded as a style?
A monument?
Made of metal?
[Rosie] A style? No.
[Dujon] Monumental? No. *Audience Mirth*
[cfm] Metalic? No.
Was the AOTC intended as a work of art?
[cfm] Intended as art? No, at least I doubt its creator(s) would have used that word at the time.
Oh dear. Should have asked, is the mineral association with something metallic?
[cfm] Metallic association? No.
Is it man-made?
Is it the name of a place?
[Phil] man-made? Yes.
[Chalky] name of a place? *Audience Applaudes* Part of the AOTC is the name of a place.
Is the mineral connection water?
Can I go to a specific place to see it?
[Chalky] Wet Stuff? No.
[Phil] Can you see it in a specific place? Yes, I have seen it in several specific places.
Could it fit inside a microwave oven?
If it can be 'seen' is it Abstract?
[cfm] Could it fit inside a microwave oven? Yes, it's an abstract.
[Chalky] Is it really an Abstract? Yes.

To clarify the point, the contents/title of a book, film or TV programme would all be examples of abstracts that can be seen. (I'm not saying it's one of those but they still exist).
Well then, is it a film or TV program? (I don't know why I keep losing sight of the fact that this is an abstract!) :-)
[cfm] Film or TV? No.
Is it a logo?
An illusion of some kind?
[Chalky] logo? No.
[Rosie] A kind of magic? No.
Is there a musical connection?
Camelot?
[Chalky] Musical connection? Yes, music is involved to soem extent.
[Software] It's only a model? No.
Is it a play?
I said: IS IT A PLAY!?
Typical example of my stupidity - Software asks "Camelot?"
The reply comes back " It's only a model - No "
Result: I spend more time worrying about my failure to make a connection between these two posts than I do about the actual resolution of this puzzle. Thus confirming why I shouldn't be playing this game.
[Chalky] A Play? No.
Sorry, I've been preoccupied, my redundancy notice came through on Friday.
[GL] So sorry to hear that. I hope that another, better opportunity is just around the corner for you. (((((hug)))))
[cfm] Thanks, so do I. But now I've got my CV up to date etc. I'd welcome the distraction of getting the game back up and running.

So, in summary The AOTC is the name of a work for the second half of the twentieth century that contains both visual elements and music. It is not a play, film, or TV programme but more than one copy exists. The title itself contains the name of a place, which is the mineral connection. The animal connection remains unexplored.
Is the animal connection human?
[GL] Eek. Just spotted your redundancy posting. Been there, done that. Hope something turns up pronto.
[Chalky] I don't understand the Camelot/only a model connection either.
[Phil] Human connection? Yes, but not exclusively.
[Chalky/Phil] I'm sorry for the Camalot/Model thing, it was a reference to Monty Python's Holy Grail. Clearly I have seen it too recently. It was not a clue.
It's been two weeks
Is there anyone else still playing this?
A novel?
[Software] A novel? No
OK. Either I, Christmas, or a combination of the two seem to have killed this round/game. Whatever the reason, it would seem wise for me to step down and offer the baton to someone else.
The AOTC was The Secret of Monkey Island.

I will place this baton here for anyone to take.
I know I haven't played for ages, but I have an idea for a very straightforward and unsubtle one... MINERAL.
man made?
[GL] Manmade? YES
Made of metal?
[GL] I thought many times about your AVMA, but never thought of a video game. Not that I've heard of Monkey Island, though :)
Metallic? NO.
Wood?
Is it edible/potable?
Bigger than a bread box?
[Phil] I don't think anyone else thought of video games either. Also, you should play Monkey Island.
Found in the home?
[Rosie] Wood? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO
[GL] Smaller than a breadbox
[Software] Found in the home? YES is the best answer, albeit disputable.
Plastic?
Stone?
[Dujon] Plastic? NO
[GL] Stone? NO, I think.
Chalk?
[Chalky] u-y=aotc? NO.
Oil?
Liquid at room temperature?
A ceramic material?
[Rosie] Oil? NO
[GL] Liquid? NO
[Chalky] Ceramic? YES
Some form of crockery?
[Rosie] Plates etc.? NO
Something deliberately artistic?
A Garden Gnome?
[Phil] Very seldom considered art
[GL] GG? NO
A gentlemen's urinal?
Associated with a particular culture?
Is it used as an insulator?
[Rosie] Fountain? NO (but you are on the right track - that is if you really know your contemporary art very well!)
[CdM] Culturally specific? NO
[Dujon] Insulator? YES, I think you could say that.
Any connection with Le Mannequin Pis?
Long shot. Yes, it's bronze and older even than me, but my knowledge of contemporary art is not so much like the back of my hand as the sole of my foot.
[Rosie] P-boy? NO (getting colder)
Does water run through it?
[Rosie] Google "Duchamp's Fountain", of which I've been aware for about a week, by pure chance.
[Phil] Water through it? *audience guffaws* Hopefully not!
(Advice to most: don't bother with the contemporary art angle unless you've been paying very close attention since the end of Duchamp's era)
Is it functional, i.e. was it created to serve a particular purpose?
A swimming pool?
[Fil] Phunctional? YES
[Rosie] Pool? NO.
Is it designed to prevent water flow in some way?
[Phil] Prevents water flow? YES
Is it made of Bakelite?
A ceramic tap valve?
A ceramic bath plug?
A bottle stopper (with or without rubber washer)?
(Phil) Yeah, ceramic Bakelite - good stuff.
[Phil] Not Bakelite
[Software] Tap valve? NO
[GL] Plug it? NO
[Rosie] Bottlestopper? NO
Is it bigger than a toaster?
[Rosie] You know, something felt wrong as I typed it. What was I thinking!?
A brick?
A roof tile?
*lobs baton through Raak's window, wrapped in a note reading: "Essential component of Carl Andre's Equivalent VIII? YES!"
I think that’s my first lurker’s victory. Next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.
The atmosphere?
The oncoming storm?
[Rosie] No atmosphere, as Neil Armstrong said.
[GL] Outlook for Viking, Fisher, German Bight? No.
Phrase or saying involved?
Mineral in its natural state?
[Software] Not a phrase or saying.
[Rosie] Unnatural.
A man-made object with a significance beyond its immediate use?
[Rosie] Can you unpack that? The words on the card refer to a man-made object. They also refer to something abstract.
The Sword of Damocles?
Having carefully unpacked it from its vagina.
[Rosie] Not the Sword of Damocles, wherever it's been.
Is the object made mainly of paper?
[Rosie] Not paper.
Is this larger than a 'phone box?
[Dujon] Smaller than a phone box.
Is it smaller than an iron atom?
[GL] Bigger than an iron atom.
Is it metallic?
but is it art?
[Rosie] Not metallic.
[Phil] Not art.
Plastic?
Stone?
[Rosie] Not plastic.
[Software] *mutters of "At last!" from the audience* Um, stone, sort of.
a diamond in the rough?
[GL] Not a diamond.
Is this a grave matter?
Depiction of a human?
[Dujon] Not grave.
[Rosie] Not a graven image.
Concrete?
Used in building?
[Phil] Not concrete.
[Rosie] *some applause*   Is used in building!
A pseudo-stone like Corian, for example?
[Software] Not a pseudo-stone. (I suspect a retired industrial chemist might inform us that the thing on the card isn't stone at all.)
A brick?
Glass?
I suspect GL has it.
[GL] *applause* GL very nearly has it, but it would be bad form for me to have just reused the previously set object. No, this is not a brick.
[Rosie] Not glass.
A breeze block?
[GL] Not a breeze block.
Mortar?
[Phil] Not mortar.
Another Brick In The Wall?
A chip off the old block?
[Chalky] Not Pink Floyd.
[Software] *murmurs in the audience* Not a chip.
A buttress?
female butter
[Rosie] Not a buttress.
Writer's block?
[Software] Not writer's block. *the audience drift off to sleep as the team wander into the fog*
The foundations?
[Rosie] Not foundations. Smaller than a phone box, folks.
Pebble-dashing?
With the abstract being the chundering euphemism.
[Phil] Projectile vomiting? No.
Some attention to the mineral aspect, and to the audience reactions, might be more fruitful.
Stone the crows?
[Software] Not corvicide.
Ceramic?
[Rosie] Yes, ceramic. *the audience open their eyes a crack, for hope springs eternal*
Down the toilet?
on the tiles?
[Software] Not a toilet.
[GL] Not a tile.
The Keystone?
[Chalky] Not a keystone.
Does the AOTC include the word 'stone' - compounded or otherwise?
[Dujon] No occurrence of "stone". A hint: it does have an occurrence of a significant word that has been guessed already.
Does the AOTC include the word 'brick'?
[GL] *applause* It does contain the work “brick”!
Drop a brick?
[Software] Not a dropped brick.
A brick ****house?
I love my brick!
A Few Bricks Short Of A Load?
[Projoy] Not a brick house.
[GL] Not a sex toy.
[Chalky] Not a few bricks short.
Hint: neither of the words on the card is "brick".
Decorative Brickwork?
Clutching at straws as I've ground to a mental block
[Phil] Not decorative brickwork.
Bricklayer's Arms?
[Projoy] Huge hands with no fingerprints? No.
Bricking It?
[Chalky] Not bricking it.
Hint: the words on the card are an indefinite article followed by a noun.
A brickbat?
[Projoy] At last! A brickbat! Have this bouquet tied to a hurled half-brick.
OK, this one is ABSTRACT (with mineral and vegetable connections)
A phrase or saying?
Bouquets and brickbats?
Anything to do with bricks?
[Raak] We've taught each other a new word each in the last 5 days :-)
[GL] Phrase/saying? NO
[Raak] Florid critiques? NO
[Phil] Brick-related? YES.
Does the AOTC contain 'brick'?
[Phil] =*"brick"*? NO
Does the Abstract convey a sense of strength?
[Rosie] Abstrong? NO
What about permanence, then?
Any building related terms in the AOTC?
[Rosie] Permanence? NO
[Software] Building-related? YES
Is there a music connection?
[Chalky] Music? NO.
Vegetable wood?
[Rosie] Wood could be involved but I had something else in mind as the veg connection.
Is there a "wall" connection?
[Phil] Walls? A connection, but not a crucial one.
Is it a place?
[Chalky] A place? NO
Is the mineral/vegetable connection paint?
Is it a building?
Is it related to roofs?
[Dujon] Paint? NO
[Chalky] Building? NO *applause*
[GL] Roofesque? YES, related.
Is it a collection of constructions?
[Chalky] Collection? NO
A Monument?
Remains of a building?
A Map?
[Chalky] Monumental? NO
[Phil] Ruin? NO
[Chalky] Cartograph? NO
A house of cards?
[Sw] House of cards? *some cynical laughter from audience* NO.
Is it a well-known phrase or idiom?
Just remembered it's Abstract!
Is a human construct?
[Phil] Gusset asked that question ^^^ up there. Apparently it's not.
[Chalky] So (s)he did. Oops!
[Chalky] Human Construct? YES.
The concept of being indoors?
[GL] Withinness? NO
To do with religion?
[Rosie] Secular.
Is the AOTC generally regarded as a good thing?
[Chalky] A Good ThingTM? Probably more YES than NO, but it would depend on whom you asked and when you asked them.
Connected with the weather?
[Chalky] Weathery? NO.
Is it related to architecture?
[Phil] Architecture? YES, basically.
Is it a recognisable 'style' of architecture
Is it a blueprint?
[Chalky] Style? NO
[GL] Blueprint? NO
An Englishman's home?
[Software] Well known phrase or saying? NO :)
Is it linked to a specific individual building?
[CdM] An exclusive address? NO.
Is the mineral stone?
[Phil] Mineral stone? INTER ALIA.
Does this relate to a piece of literature?
[Chalky] Literary? Most likely mentioned in literature but not specifically famous for that.
Is it the name of a room?
[Chalky] Not the name of a room.

CLUE: A lot of people reading will have direct personal experience of this, and for those that do they will have spent a lot of time thinking about it.
Is it an activity?
A game?
[Phil] Activity? SORT OF, not exactly
[Chalky] A game? *audience laughter* NO.
Conveyancing?
A profession or occupation?
[Phil] Conveyancing? NO *some applause*
[Chalky] Not a profession.
Buying a house?
[Raak] Housebuying? NO *audience look pleased*
Selling a house?
Moving House?
still in the right area
[Raak] Selling? NO
[Chalky] Moving? NO.
Gazumping?
House-hunting?
is renting a house involved?
[Chalky] Gazumping? What a wonderful word. NO
[Chalky] Hunting? NO
[Raak] Renting involved? NO *applause* NO, not in the sense you probably mean.
Is 'demolition' part of this?
[Dujon] Demolish? NO! Well, hopefully not.
Speculative development?
still in the right area
[Raak] Build it and they will come? NO.
Does a word in the AOTC end with "-ing"
Does it involve building a building?
[Phil] Gerund? NO
[Raak] Involves building? NO. (Involves a building? YES).
A mortgage?
A survey?
A valuation?
Home Insurance?
the default option
[Rosie, Chalky] Not those, since...
[Raak] YES! A MORTGAGE. The mineral connection is bricks and mortar and the vegetable connections are paperwork and cash. * hands over the baton in exchange for Raak's promise to pay him for it once a month for the next thirty years *
Don't worry, the government will bail you out.

The next is MINERAL, with ABSTRACT connections.

Does it involve bricks?
[GL] No bricks.
A man-made structure?
[Rosie] Man-made.
Metallic?
[Software] Nonmetallic.
Made of stone?
[Rosie] Made of stone.
Stonehenge?
A building?
[irach] Not Stonehenge
[Projoy] Not a building.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique.
Rosetta Stone?
In Britain?
Larger than a telephone box?
(Damn. I actually thought of mortgage when Projoy gave us his clue, but then rejected it for some really compelling reason that I can't remember.) :-)
[Rosie, CdM] Smaller than a telephone box in Britain, because...
[GL] The Rosetta Stone!
Hmmmm...

Let's go with an ABSTRACT with Animal connections.
Human animal?
[Software] human? - No.
Is the animal a type of animal (as opposed to an animal product, such as leather)?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Phil] animal? - Not an animal product.
[Chalky] phrase or saying? - No.
Some sort of organisation?
A book/story?
the Animal connection - a living organism?
[Rosie] organisation? - No.
[Dujon] book/story? - Yes.
[Chalky] a living creature? - Yes.
A children's story?
Moby Dick?
Long shot.
[Phil] kids' tale? - Yes.
[Rosie] The great white whale? - No.
Does this animal have a tendency to sound like a clock?
[Dujon] Sounds like a clock? - No.
Is the typical/target readership under 8 years old?
[CdM] target readership<8? Why do you assume a story needs to be read?
Tom and Jerry?
Winnie the Pooh?
[Rosie] T&J? - No.
[Raa] A bear of very little brains? - No.
Has the story been filmed?
[Raak] on film? - Yes.
Babe?
Bambi?
[Chalky] Good Pig? - No.
[Software] Bambi? - No. *Some applause*
Did this involve some number of brooms?
Cartoon?
[Dujon] brooms? - I don't remember any.
[Chalky] cartoon? - No.
Disney?
[Chalky] Sidney? - No.
Peter Rabbit?
has the film been on release for longer than 10 years?
[Software] Peter Rabbit? - No.
[Chalky] film age>10 years? - Yes.
Old Yeller?
[cfm] Old Yeller? - No.
A dog?
[Chalky] Dog? - No.
a horse ... or maybe a kangaroo?
[Chalky] Horse/Kangaroo? - Not a horse. Not a kangaroo. Not some freaky cross-breed of the two.
You leave my black velvet coated skippy alone, Chalky. ;)
Does this film involve hunters?
[Dujon] hunters? - No, not that I recall anyway.
Mickey Mouse?
Bambi/Disney?
[Software] Mickey Mouse? - No.

Summary: The AOTC is a living, fictional, non-human character and the title of a live action film from more than ten years ago. The character is not a dog, horse, kangaroo or any traditional game animal (no hunters). It is not a book (I couldn't even find a novelisation) and the film was not made by Disney.
Why did Bambi get some applause from the audience?
King Kong?
Trigger, the Wonder Horse?
[Chalky] Bambi got the clap? - First time someone guessed a film with a title character.
[Chalky] King Kong? - No.
[Raak] Trigger? - Not a horse, not even Trigger.
Babe?
Racing Stripes?
[Software] Babe? - Still not Babe.
[Phil] Racing Stripes? - No.
A member of the cat family?
Is the AOTC humanoid?
[Raak] Feline? - No.
[Phil] Humanoid? - Yes.
a Martian?
[Raak] Martian? - *Audience applaudes loudly* No, or at least probably not.
Is the central character a being stranded on Earth?
Paul?
[Dujon] Stranded on Earth? - Yes.
[Phil] Paul? - No.
ET?
Superman?
[Phil] Kal-El? - No.
[Chalky] Phone home? - YES it was ET The Extraterrestrial. Have a baton with one glowing end.
Splendid! Thank you GL.


Keeping it simple with A N I M A L and V E G E T A B L E and even a hint of M I N E R A L
Meat and two veg with a sprinkling of salt?
[Raak] Meat and two veg with a sprinkling of salt? NO *audience applause*
Is it edible?
Smokey bacon crisps?
[Phil] Edible? YES
[Raak] Smokey bacon crisps? NO - but *a huge roar of approval from an already excited audience*
A full english breakfast?
Oh, I say ...

Thanks to some incisive questioning Projoy has it!
Full English Breakfast is indeed the AOTC.

Here you are, dear chap, please accept this amusingly-shaped sausage baton ... phnarr phnarr
How eggs-citing. Hopefully I won't make a hash of the next one.

MINERAL
Is it man made?
[GL] Human-made? YES.
Metal, mostly?
[Rosie] More metal than not? NO, but there is metal in it.
Intended to be digested?
Bricklike?
[Dj] Gustible? NO.
[Chalky] Bricky? NO.
[Rosie, addendum re: metal] I guess that by mass the metal makes up less than 50% but now I think about it more, I'm not completely sure.
Electrical?
A device, gadget, tool etc?
Yes or No to any - I'm not trying it on.
[Software] Electrical? I'd say NO * a murmur in the audience*
[Rosie] "Device" is probably the best out of those options.
A piece of equipment designed for the reception of radio signals?
[Dj] PoEDftRoRS? NO. *much audience applause*
battery operated?
A router?
A CD?
[Chalkeroonie] Battery? NO
[Rosie] Router? NO
[GL] CD? NO *tumultuous applause*
A cassette tape?
A DVD?
[rab] A cassette? YES!
* hands over a biro so you can rewind to the start of a new round*
Bollocks
I should know better than to post before buffering off to the pub for six hours.

Mine is ABSTRACT, potentially with connections to all three other categories.

The colour red?
[Chalky] Whence "phnarr phnarr", I wonder?
Reality?
Imagination?
music?
[Tuj] I first encountered it in the 80s via "Finbarr Saunders and his Double Entendres" in Viz magazine (once the 3rd most popular magazine in the UK!)
Colours - not even close.
Reality - only in the sense that this does have a physical manifestation.
Imagination - components might transpire as a figment of the same.
Music - no. But the general level of tangibility is not far off.
A human invention?
An artform?
As opposed to a specific piece of art.
Is this an emotion of some kind?
A performance of some kind?
(Tuj, Phil) I'm sure it was "Fnarr, fnarr".
April Fool?
Sorry for asking two questions but this one had to be asked.
Human? - very much so yes.
Artform? - to say yes would be deliberately obtuse, but the level of specificity is spot on.
Performance? - of some kind, I suppose so.
Ha ha bonk? - no
Is this an emotion of some kind?
On behalf of Dujon the Whisperer ;-)
Sorrow.
Emotional? No. Not that human.
Academia?
Lackademicals
No, but I like the cut of your jib.
Teaching?
A theory?
Teaching - no, but keep thinking about performances in the broader sense
A theory - no
Might this involve 'letters after ones name'?
Legal connection?
A medical connection?
Postnomials? Probably, but not necessarily.
Legal link? *applause* Yes, keep going
Medical? Possibly, but not necessarily.
Being called to the bar?
Mine's a small americano
Nope.
Evidence?
*ooh ahh* part of the performance certainly.
Cross-examination?
Making a statement?
A trial?
Prosecution?
Grumpy looks? No, but this is definitely involved.
Statement? Likewise
Inspiration for Kafka? audience oohs, aahs and generally inhales in a "that'll costya" kind of way no
Perspiration? No.
A tribunal?
Advocacy?
Tribunal? Not long, now.
Advocacy? Less abstract.
A court case?
Luggage? Nope. Keep going though.
Legal Aid?
The Supreme Court?
Unexciting fizzy drink? No
Cooked in stock and cream and served with rice to make an unfulfilling dish? Nein.
You were closest with the tribunal-style performance.
A Judgement?
A judicial review?
Public Inquiry?
A Royal Commission?
A verdict?
Got there in the end
Yay, Chalky. It was a public inquiry. Well done.
Yay. Nice one. Good to see you, rab.
As is my custom - a quickie ...
A N I M A L

Human?
[Raak] Human? YES - ish.
Politician?
Maria Miller?
An extinct hominid?
Sajid Javid?
Alive now?
[Gusset Login] - Politician? NO
[Software]- Maria Miller? NO
[Raak] - An extinct hominid? NO
[Projoy]- Sajid Javid? NO
[Rosie] - Alive now? n/a
A group of people?
A post or position?
To do with the military?
[Raak] A group of people? NO *a smattering of applause*
[Rosie] A post or position? NO
[Dujon] To do with the military? As much as 'it' is to do with any person or group of people.

*clarification* Without the indefinite article I assumed the one-word opening question was an adjective as opposed to a noun - hence my vague-ish reply.
Humanity? I.e. everyone?
[Raak] Humanity? NO - however, this relates to 'everyone'
A specific individual?
Part of a human?
The human genome?
[Projoy] Specific? NO
[Gusset Login] Part of a human? YES! *audience whooop whoops*
[Raak] The human genome? NO - although given my reply to GL above - more relevant than earlier guesses ;-)
An internal organ?
An organ?
Oops. I meant, a bone?
The bridge of the nose.
hehe
[GL] An internal organ? Arguably - YES, this is classified as an organ in most places [that classify such things].
[Projoy] YES an organ, still ... but definitely not a bone.
[rab] The bridge of the nose? NO - but *audience seems to like all the last few questions*
Is this (or these) particular 'empty' spaces within the human body?
The skin?
[Dujon] Empty spaces? NO
[Raak] The skin? NO
The blood?
Is it found at one specific location in the body?
The appendix?
[Raak] The blood? YES! Need a little more for the AOTC .. *roars of approval from a very excited audience*
[rab] Specific location? As confirmed above - several locations throughout the body.
[Phil] Appendix? Nah :)
The circulatory system?
[GL] Circulatory system? NO
The corpuscles?
[Raak] Corpuscles - NO - although they are relevant ..
Anything to do with the process of healing?
Red blood cells?
The immune system?
No to all - it's about Blood!
Blood BLOOD
Blood vessels?
A blood donation?
Seeing the word so often on the page, the voice in my head is now making it rhyme with "mood". mood ... blood ... food ... blood ... hood ... blood ... wood .. blood ...
Black pudding, then. So there.
[Software] I think Chalky said yes to "human?", so that would be quite some black pudding if it is right.
[Projoy] Not blood vessels
[Raak] Not a blood donation
[Software] Not a human black pudding.

Remember ... it's all about the blood.
blood plasma?
An armful (very nearly)?
Haemoglobin?
Is this a type of blood cell which has various types?
[Raak] Plasma? Not the AOTC
[Projoy] Not an armful
[Rosie] Haemoglobin? Not the AOTC
[Dujon] 'Various types' is a phrase which should lead to the AOTC ... *audience wakes up*
A rhesus negative?
What took you so long ..?
[Projoy] 'A rhesus negative' is about as close as anyone has come to the AOTC, with the exception of Raak who guessed the 'blood' word. As the AOTC is Rhesus Negative Blood I am thrilled to hand over this gargantuan syringe-shaped baton to do with as you wish ..
It may be just a smear to you, mate, but that's life or death to some poor blighter.
OK, here's another.

ANIMAL
Human?
[Rosie] Human? YES.
Alive?
A particular human?
[GL] Not alive.
[Phil] A particular human.
Died this year?
[GL] Mort MMXIV? NO
A pianist?
An actor?
Died this decade?
Involved in "the arts"?
... or even "the sciences"?
[Dujon] Pianist? NO.
[rab] Actor? YES.
[GL] Mort -10? NO.
[Phil] Arts? YES.
[Chalky] Science? NO.
Male?
British?
[Phil, Rosie] British and Male.
Has he starred in a major science fiction movie?
Died post 1990?
[Raak] SF movie? Pretty sure that's a NO.
[Chalky] Died after the Thatcher era? NO.
Died before 1970?
Died before the Heath era? YES.
Shakespearean roles?
Garrick?
Died before 1960?
#obsessingonthedeaththing
[Raak, Rosie] Not known for Shakespeare
[Chalky] Died since 1960.
Kenneth Horne?
Stan Laurel?
Vocalist?
[GL] Stiff Horne? NO.
[Phil] Resting Laurel? Another fine mess: NO.
[Software] If you mean singer, then NO.
Tony Hancock?
The lad himself
[Rosie] It IS Tony Hancock. Please take this radio aerial (and send a tray of bread pudding to Kuala Lumpur).
Part of my early teenage years. On the Home Service, no less, or was it the Light Programme? Can't remember. Now, what shall I do with this thing? Ah, yes -

ABSTRACT and MINERAL.

The Philosopher's Stone?
The last train?
Sonic Screwdriver?
A legendary object?
(Phil) Nothing so concrete.
(Projoy) Nice try, but alas....
(GL) No, not a latter-day Swiss Army penknife.
(Raak) YES, at least in the Abstract sense.
A particular vision?
(Dujon) YES, something specific.
Hidden textI am now going to bed
Human-made?
(Projoy) NO, not a human creation though the Abstract indirectly involves humans.
Something that might be studied by scientists?
(Projoy) They might, as an incidental, but it's not the flavour of the AOTC.
Anything to do with steam engines?
(Raak) Vocal traction? Not a scintilla, not a smithereen, not e'een a wisp of steam from a leaky cylinder gland.
Is a lake often associated with this?
(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with lakes.
To do with "The Arts"?
A corno da tirarsi?
A brass instrument that Bach specifies in four of his cantatas, but no-one knows exactly what instrument he meant.
(Phil) Nothing to do with The Arts.
(Raak) Not a little trumpet.
Hidden text(Welsh) corn bach
Metallic?
(Software) NO, not at all metallic.
A natural feature?
(GL) YES, a natural feature.
Giant's Causeway?
(GL) NO, nothing so hexagonal.
In the UK?
(Raak) Mineral - NO, Abstract - Mainly NO but could be.
Is the AOTC a mountain?
(Dujon) NO, not a mountain.
Are the abstract and mineral two distinct (essentially unconnected) meanings of the AOTC?
(CdM) The two are connected, one literal, one figurative.
Is this a weather feature?
(Chalky) Weather? Broadly, YES. *audience stops texting and looks up*
Does the word 'global' appear on the card?
(Dujon) "Global"? NO.
Is this a weather formation that was given a name?
Confused as always.
(Dujon) YES, it has a specific name but this is not normally regarded as a meteorological term.
Is this a form of wind pattern?
I know that I shouldn't but everyone else seems to have knocked off for the weekend.
(Dujon) NO, not a wind pattern.
Is it associated with deserts?
A dust storm?
(GL) Maybe a stronger asssociation with deserts than other places but a long way from exclusively so.
(Softers) Not a dust storm.
Is this 'object' a form of visual 'trickery'?
(Dujon) Visual trickery? NO, very real.
Associated with water or lack of?
(Chalky) Nothing to do with water, most certainly not.
Solar power?
(Chalky) YES, very much so. *audience goes positively orgasmic*
So is that the AOTC ...?
If it isn't I'm not quite sure where to go from here ..
Ra, the Sun God?
Apollo?
The sun?
(Chalky) NO, not the AOTC, but it's about the sun.
(Phil) NO, not Ra, not a God.
(Projoy) NO, not Apollo.
(Gusset Login) Yes, but specifically....?
halo?
Sunshine?
(Software) Not a halo.
(Projoy) The AOTC is much more specific.
A little ray of sunshine?
(Projoy) Rather more than that, it would seem.
A supernova?
A solar flare?
Solar winds?
(Raak, CdM, Projoy) Nothing as technical as these. An earthbound phenomenon, not a scientific term.
A sunbeam?
(Projoy) Not a sunbeam. This is probably more Art than Science.
Is this something like the sight of a huge cumulonimbus lit up by the setting sun?
(Dujon) A nice image that conjures up but alas NO. HINT: The AOTC is the name of a pub.
The Rising Sun?
(Chalky) NO, but very close. Move on a bit. *audience now hyperventilating dangerously*
The Midday Sun?
Thanks to Google
The Sun and Ferret Droppings?
The Setting Sun?
The Sun and Heir?
(Chalky, Projoy,Raak) Not the Sun and Trouserpress, either, for

Phil has it. The midday sun. Well done. Stay indoors.

As soon as I saw it was in Surrey, it had to be right.

Next, for your amusement and intellectual delight, we shall have:

Vegetable & Animal

Edible?
Well, that's a nice easy start :)
[Raak] Edible? YES
A chicken salad sandwich?
[Projoy] Chix Salad Butty? NO
Pub grub?
[Software] Is the AOTC "Pub grub"? NO, but it could be classified as such
Is the animal red meat?
Scampi and chips in the basket ?
very 70s
Is the vegetable potatoes?
A 'lunch' of some kind?
Scotch Broth?
[Rosie] Red meat? According to the USDA, YES, but in my personal opinion, NO.
[Software] Scampi? NO
[Raak] Potatoes? NO
[Dujon] some kind of 'lunch'? YES, it can be.
[Chalky] Scotch Broth? NO *some encouraging applause*
Some form of burger?
[Rosie] Burger? NO
soup?
Does it contain sausage?
Is bacon involved?
[Raak] Soup? YES *more applause*
[Rosie] Inc. sausage? NO
[GL] Bacon involved? NO * A smattering of applause*
Does this involve ham and peas?
[Dujon] Ham & Peas? YES *Considerable applause*
Pea and ham soup?
Does it begin with a...
Ahem.
[Tuj] But 3 hours too late :)
[Raak] Pea and ham soup? YES
Officially, as far as I could find, pork counts as red meat in the USA, and appears to be undefined here. But in my opinion, 3 categories of meat exist :red, white and processed, hence my awkward answer earlier.
*passes a breadstick to Raak*
The next is ANIMAL.
Is bacon involved?
Does this animal consume bacon?
[GL] Bacon is not involved.
[CdM] Does not normally consume bacon.
Is it human?
Alive?
[Gusset Login] Not human.
[Rosie] Alive.
One particular animal?
[Rosie] Um...yes and no.
An animal foetus perhaps?
[Dujon] Not a foetus.
A swarm of bees attacking Topshop?
Is it a parasite?
[GL] Not a swarm of bees.
[Dujon] Yes! It is a parasite.
A louse?
[Software] Not a louse.
Does it begin with P?
Does not begin with P.
Is this an internal parasite (as opposed to a tick or its ilk)?
[Dujon] Not an internal parasite.
Is it a Benefit Scrounger?
[Chalky] * laughter and applause* Yes, I suppose it is in a way.
A mosquito?
[Rosie] Not a mosquito.
Was this once used by doctors as a remedy for various ills?
[Dujon] Not a cureall.
Tick?
[GL] Not a tick.
Does it have a relationship with bats?
[Dujon] Not below the phylum level.
A bedbug?
Flea?
[CdM,Software] Not a bedbug or a flea.
Does the average Morniverser harbour this creature?
[Rosie] The average Morniverser probably does not harbour this creature.
Hint: think bigger.
Is this more likely to be found on something other than a human?
[Dujon] Yes, does not parasitise humans.
Some sort of worm?
[Projoy] Not a worm.
Hint: bigger!
Do the parasite and its host live in water?
[Dujon] Not in water.
A vampire bat?
Dracula? No.
Cuckoo?
[Software] **riotous applause!!** Yes, a cuckoo! But which one?
The first cuckoo of spring?
[Projoy] Precisely so!
My mind went straight to Delius as soon as cuckoos came up.

The next is MINERAL.
Well it would wouldn't it? Dear old Fred.
Is the mineral natural?
Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to ask a question.
Is it metal?
Is it edible/potable?
[Duj] Natural? NO
[GL] Metal? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO * a reflective chuckle from an audient*
Stony?
So close, oh so close :(
[Software] Stony? NO, this falls on stony ground.
Sorry I pipped you. The late worm catches the bird, I guess.
Plastic?
[GL] YES, a form of plastic.
Decorative?
A form of packaging?
[Sw] Decorative? YES, mainly
[Rosie] Packaging? NO
Lycra?
[GL] Lycra? NO *scattered applause*
A clothing fabric?
Ladies clothing oriented?
Latex?
Spray-on jeans of the sort that have lately become fashionable?
[Phil] Clothing? YES
[Software] Ladies'? NO
[GL] Rubber? NO
[Raak] Sprayon? NO
Is this pants/trouser support?
[Duj] Keeps your panties on? NO.
Is it a codpiece?
Though I suppose that could arguably be described as "packaging"...
[blame] Codpiece? NO *audience applause*
Is it used in the undergarment department?
[Phil] Undies? NO
Cricket box?
Not sure if that's undies or overies. Now I'm working on a pun involving overs... Meantime I'm emboldened to guess by the applause, if not by the html, but also aware they'll applaud anything remotely saucy that lot...
[blame] Overies unlikely to be found in a cricket box, shurely? NO.
Rubber?
[Raak] Rubber? NO, definitely synthetic.
*googles* Oh, there is such a thing as synthetic rubber. Anyway, it's not that.
Is the item visible on a normally-clothed person?
a hat of some sort?
[Rosie] I don't know about "normally clothed", but YES, it would be visible on a person wearing it.
[Chalky] Hat? NO.
A condom?
A wet suit?
A superhero's cape?
[Chalky] Une lettre? NON
[Phil] Wet suit? NO *an audient smiles, teasingly*
[Raak] Cape? NO
Hi-Vis jacket?
Is it work-related apparel?
[Software] Jobsworth uniform? NO
[Raak] Job uniform? NO
An umbrella hat?
[Raak] If you want to get ahead? NO.
Is this designed to keep the wearer dry?
Mainly decorative you say ... ?
[Duj] For dryness? NO
[Chalky] Decorative? YES.
Is it made of neoprene?
A substantial fascinator?
[Phil] Neoprene? NO
[Raak] Fascinator? NO
Does this item have any lascivious connections?
Comedy apron?
Is this normally worn above the waist?
[Rosie] Naughty? NO
[Chalky] Apron? NO
[Dujon] Above the waist? YES.
below the neck?
[Chalky] Below neck? YES AND NO.
Scarf?
[Soft] Scarf? NO.
Is it a form of necklace?
... or necktie maybe?
[Dujon] Necklace? NO
[Chalky] Necktie? YES, a form of... *applause*
A noose?
[Raak] Synthetic noose? NO.
Bow Ties are cool
Is it? A dickie bow?
[blame] Not a dickybird from the audience for that, I'm afraid.
Cravat?
[Software] Cravat? NO.
PVC collar for the BDSM community?
,[Phil] Of Human Bondage? NO. As per Chalky's answer, the AotC is a form of necktie, or 'tie', as we Brits call it.
A policeman's clip-on tie?
In that case...
[Phil] Clip-on tie? NO.
A clerical collar?
Not female wear. .. and mainly decorative?
Just so's we're all on the same hymn sheet ...
[Rosie] Dog collar? NO
[Chalky] YES, a form of male (by convention), decorative necktie.
"Bolo" tie?
[Phil] Bolo? X.
One of those hideous things Texans wear?
[Soft] A "bolo" tie, as I believe they're called? NO
A kipper tie?
Is that why they applauded codpiece? For the cod, rather than - as it were - the piece...
[blame] YES! the words on the card are "a nylon kipper tie", and the fish connection was indeed the reason for the applause. *turns the baton around itself twice, folds the end through the gap, passes it through the loop, tightens, and hands it over to blamelewis*
I was fishing from the shoulders of giants...
Yay, whee, oh cripes do I have to do one now?

Errrrr... ANIMAL
A human?
A Duck?
The Duck-Man of Oswestry?
[Projoy] Oh I do hope that's right - we did a project on him at school.
No to all above sadly...
The Ocelot-Man of Oswestry?
The Owl-Man of Oswestry?
Part of a dead animal?
I fear Owestry has no part in it... And it's less part of a dead animal than the whole of a living one.
Mammal?
Fish?
Neither Fish nor Mammal.
Is it a bird?
dingdingding
[Rosie] Yes!
The Duck-Pigeon of Wrexham?
A penguin?
Associated with NE Wales?
The chick of Chirk. I know this part of the world rather well.
[Projoy] We need to have a talk.
[Gusset] Not a penguin.
[Rosie] Not to my knowledge.
Mythical avian?
A well-known phrase or saying?
So much for the Albatross of Acrefair, then.
A species of bird?
[Software] I have reasonably good reason to believe it's a real species
[Rosie] None that I've come across
[Phil] Yes, exactly that.
Does this bird fly?
Likely to be seen in a British back garden?
[Dujon] Shrewd. No it doesn't.
[Rosie] Alas no.
Is it a penguin?
Is it a Kiwi?
[Phil] Still not a penguin :)
[Gusset] Neither a Kiwi
An ostrich?
But not the Oswestry Ostrich, obviously.
Emu?
A dodo?
I know you said living but all the good answers were gone.
[Rosie] Obviously. Also, no.
[Software] U me? (no...)
[Gusset] I can promise you that just fewer than two good answers remain.
Is it extinct?
A bird that is to be found in northern Australia?
Grebe?
A cassowary?
(since Dujon never actually comes out with the guess) :-)
A gold star to CdM. What a morniverse-analytic person you are. :)
[Raak] Nope
[Dujon] Nope
[Gusset] Nope
[CdM] Nope
Rhea?
A caracara?
[Software] Not a Rhea, but Rare! (Not a Ratite, but a rarity)
[Phil] it is not, but thanks for introducing me to a new bird name...
A steamer duck?
Ostrich?
A recap
It's a non-mythical species of bird, flightless and rare.
It is none of the following:
Penguin, Penguin, Kiwi, Ostrich, Emu, Grebe, Cassowary, Rhea, Caracara, Steamer Duck, Ostrich.
A cryptic clue follows
Hidden textFilthy Teletubby!
The Kakapo of Ludlow?
The Po Bird?!
Is it someting along the lines of the Oomegoolybird?
This was posted via Eh-Oh L.
"Something". I have not gone Jamaican.
Penguin?
Projoy has it!
Apart from the Ludlow bit, as far as I'm aware...
[Gusset] A droll lol...
It is indeed the endearingly hopeless Kakapo, which I learned about from Douglas Adams' wonderful Last Chance To See and the later TV series with Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine revisiting the species from the book years later.
[Rosie] I remember that joke, is it from Clue? "very short legs..."
OK, here's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL
France?
Some form of food and drink?
[GL] France? NO
[blamelewis] Edible/Imbibable? NO
Can you wear it?
A gold embossed, leather bound book?
Arty?
Does the animal part relate to humans?
Is this an object once used in war and hunting?
[GL] Book? NO
[Raak] Art-related? NO
[Phil] Animal human? PARTLY/MAINLY, I suppose.
[Dujon] An object? NO. Used in war? ARGUABLY (but probably not that helpful an angle).
[Softers] Wearable? NO.
Is/was there just one of it?
[Raak] Just one? YES is the best answer.
The Earth, and all that is upon it?
A man-made environment?
[Raak] The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, yea, all which it inherit? NO
[Rosie] A man-made environment? YES, I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.
The Anthropocene Age?
[Raak] Humantime? NO
Is/was it in space?
[blame] In space? NO (except in the sense that everything is).
A theatre?
Can you see all of it at once?
[blame] Not a theatre.
[Rosie] Can you see it all at once? NO, not from most angles.
(I guess it depends how strict your definition of 'it all' is).
Bigger than a phonebox?
[Software] Much bigger than a phonebox.
Bigger than Ireland?
[GL] Smaller than Ireland.
About the size of Wales?
1 standard unit.
[Rosie] Smaller than a Wales.
Bigger than Kent?
[GL] Smaller than Kent.
A man-made island?
Bigger than Central London?
Within the M25
[Software] Not an island
[GL] Smaller than London, both in M25 and 1965 and 1899 boundaries terms.
er, 1889, I meant.
Bigger than the London Eye?
[GL] Yes, bigger than the biggest ferris wheel.
Is it an organisation?
[blamelewis] Organised? No, not as such.
A specific urban area?
[Rosie] A specific urban area? YES.
Slough?
In the UK?
[Software] Come, friendly bombs? NO
[GL] In UK? YES!
Is this an area which might be loosely termed as an 'entertainment' district?
[Duj] Entertainment? NO.
Is it a City?
Is it in Wales?
Is it a distinctive part of some large city?
[blame] City? NO
[GL] Wales? NO. *audience cries of 'bad luck, old chap'*
[Rosie] Distinctive part? NO.
Is it in England?
Shropshire?
[GL] England? YES!
[Software] Shropshire? YES!
Gotta be Oswestry.
[Rosie] Oswestry, home of the famous duck-man? YES! Please take this very short section of the England-Wales border.
Well, well, I've been Offa'd a Dyke. Oswestry was "town" to my Dad's family from Glynceiriog.

Enough of this rambling - the next object is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections.

A human construct?
(Pj) A human construct? - YES.
Particularly linked to a specific human?
(CdM) Linked to a specific human? - NO.
Is there a religious theme to the answer?
(Phil) Religious theme - NO.

Clarification/Correction: The "human construct" applies to the wording rather than the idea itself.

Phrase or saying?
(Software) Phrase or saying? - YES.
Wales-related?
Is the animal element specifically human?
(Projoy) Nothing to do with Wales, or its border towns.
(Phil) Animal element human? - YES.
Is there anybody there?
(Rosie) Not a soul.
A fool and his money are soon parted?
I am
(Softers) So true, but not this time.

Hint: The AOTC contains no verb - it's a description.

So that'd be along the lines of a 'Man Mountain' then?
(Dujon) Possibly along those lines, YES.
Duck Face?
(Gusset Login) Not "Duck Face". *some aduience murmurings of approval*
Selfie?
(Gusset Login) Not a selfie.
Is the mineral naturally occurring?
(Dujon) Naturally occurring mineral? NO.
A photo bomb?
atomic or otherwise
Is this something related to some thing people wear?
(GL) Er, not sure what that is, but it ain't the answer.
(Dujon) No relation to anything worn.
Related to "The Arts"?
Something somebody does?
(Phil) The Arts and How They Was Done? NO.
(Software) Not a thing anybody does.
A type of person?
(Raak) Strictly, NO, but we may be getting somewhere. *audience, previously somnolent, now considerably animated*
A fictional character?
A role that someone plays?
(Phil) Fictional? NO. This is about real people.
(Raak) NO, not a role.
A job title?
(Phil) Job title? NO.
Raak's penultimate: The AOTC is not a type of person but describes a type of person.
A Fat Bastard?
A jobsworth?
(Software) Not a Fat Bastard.
(Raak) Not a jobsworth.
It's figurative - see the original definition.
Is this something one would be pleased to be described as?
(Raak) A nice description? Someone described thus may well say yes, but the vast majority, no.
Is the mineral metal?
Trying different line of attack...
(Phil) Is the mineral metal? YES.
Man of iron?
(Software) Not Man of Iron, nor Thatcher. Try just a little further up the Periodic Table.
Is it related to Polonium?
(Gusset Login) Polonium? NO. Not that far up the Periodic Table, nothing like it.
copper?
(Phil) Copper? YES, but not solely.
Bronze Age Man?
(Phil) Bronze Age Man? NO.
Brass neck?
(Software) Damn cheek, but the right answer! A Brass Neck it is. I hand you the brazen stick.
Gosh, I must get out the Brasso.

Now what have we here? The laser display board is showing the audience and the players are getting the clues:

This time it is ANIMAL

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