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So the Danish guy dies
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Well, we've all seen those promising trailers that make the worst films seem like the next Oscar winner - how about writing a description that makes a classic sound absolutely dire? e.g. So there's this teenager and he hates his mother and his stepdad and there's loads of drugs and gore and they all die. Only better, hopefully. And without Mel Gibson.
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The Sound of Music
The singing nanny demonstrates a deft touch for childcare and gets off with the baronet.
Alien 3
Sigourney Weaver gets a haircut, everyone runs about for a bit, then Sigourney Weaver dies. Warning: contains scenes involving Charles Dance.
Koyaanisqatsi
[With apologies to Raak] An exultant celebration of nature vv the pits of Western civilisation.
Koyaanisqatsi
[with apologies to Raak and Bob] A bunch of disjointed images with music to match.
The Naked Gun
Frank Drebin attempts to prevent the assassination of the Queen using all the skill, subtlety and ingenuity of the real-life police force. The main clue that it's a comedy is that he succeeds.
The Third Man
Black and white film, dodgy camera work, cheap backing music (a guy playing a zither - can you believe it?). Oh, and the leading man does't appear until an hour into the film. All the hallmarks of a cheap B-movie, I think you'll agree.
Apollo 13
Some astronauts don't die.
The Day After Tomorrow
It gets cold.
The Lost World (Conan Doyle, not Crichton)
Apparently it wasn't.
Mulholland Drive
Surrealism. Murder. Bare breasts.
Dad's Army (the movie)
A group of eccentric old men do considerable damage to the British war effort, but apparently make up for it by capturing a couple of German airmen at the end.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Two implausibly sunny children squeak incessantly while a mad inventor and the heiress to a sweet factory fall in love in a car which is half Bentley half umbrella.
Blade 1
Lots of vampires around lead by vampire with short-man-syndrome. Big show down with good guy with flashy sword, baddie goes pop like the weasle.
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