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Liff? Don't talk to me about Liff!
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An old favourite from the Douglas Adams stable, well-known to anyone familiar with Pants MC. The game of giving dictionary definitions to place names. Please define the place provided by the previous player, and then post one of your own.
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South Wonston
South Wonston is quite near where I live and reminds me of stuff I'd rather not be reminded of. Can someone do it - quick - and put another name in there? Please :-)
South Wonston was, in fact, the stiflingly boring Shire village from which Findo Gask (qv.) shook off the dust from his heels and never looked back. He would never, ever, speak of the place afterwards, and grew murderously violent with anyone who did. In his declining years, settled in a land where nobody had ever heard of hobbits and taking to drink, he was liable to accost anyone of short stature and hairy feet with the words, "Ye a Wunster, eh? eh? Are yez? ARE YEZ?" and attempt to beat them senseless with a stout walking stick.

Changue

To bash the keyboard in frustration as you spot yet another typo!
[Chalky] Sorry... Where I am (wouldn't say quite near, but not light years) it's colloquial for a long relieving of the bladder. Well, just me really...

Perth
Thomething in whith girlth keep their money and thtuff.

Dauntsey Green

A village in the Shire known for having a large proportion of gay hobbits.

Great Blasket

A rare diving bird found off the coasts of the Scilly Isles, the Great Blasket feeds on tourists, and so its numbers are threatening to grow.

Hugh Town
A place where grants are available to the gormless.

Waitara

The thing you have to constantly say to Tara PT when your out shopping for a new Porsche....

Palma

A mummy's boy.

Malmesbury

Her Majesty's cheese.

Armitage

A place where a knight makes a solitary vigil the night before a quest.

Gweedere

The Manx name for a gardener who's job it is to remove weeds from flower beds and moss from lawns.

Heyrod

Constables follow up picture that never quite made the grade

Flitwick
a Casanova

Cricklade

Awkward sleeping posture. (plump, Softers) Top stuff!

Connah's Quay

The place where a tourist ferry pulls up, and touts of various sorts try to fleece them.

Cleethorpes

Clee is the old slang word for clay and Thorpes is the old English word for pipe or pipes. Hence, Cleethorpes are Clay-pipes (of the smoking variety)

Blacon

Chinese pig comestible

Otley
Large round tea bags made for groups rather than the individual ones

Podington
Podington is the temporary camp set up for the podingers who gather annually for the Great Pode Hunt. What the Pode is is a closely guarded secret.

Whauphill

A common athletic muscular strain believed to be one of the more easily curable causes of impotence.

Stoke Goldington
Very potent Ganja. It has 4 times the strength of "Skunk Weed" and can make all but the hardiest of users go blind.......Bob Marley used to smoke at least 7ozs of Stoke Goldington a day!!!

Tetbury

A French ostrich farm

Bexwell
A purported tourist attraction which consists of something rather uninteresting given a picturesque and largely fictitious historical background. For example, a natural spring in a corner of a field that someone put a wall around way back in 1932 and called "Beck's Well".

Dunfermline

The mystical art of laying out (lining out) any large sports arena, playing field. Once finished the head lines man will utter the mystical chant DONE FER MY LINE, which signals the job done and the area is then ready to play on...

Fleetwood

A type of mac.

Roxbourne

The principal activity in the Geological Maternity Ward.

Plymouth
A vocal affliction common among those who ply their wares in the street. To reduce the strain on their voices, they make as little use of the vocal articulatory apparatus as possible, reducing the words to barely recognisable grunts and moans.

Cornwall

The home-run boundary in the film Field of Dreams, which would have been shot partly in southwestern England if the local lobby that had the region renamed had been successful. Not specifically mentioned in the film because of the obvious irrelevance of any part of the field more than five feet ahead while Kevin Costner is batting; cf. "Irrigationditchdugout," "Cowdroppingshomeplate," "Nameyourownagriculturalimplementpairedwithbaseballterm," and the particularly ornery "Bullpen."

Leeds
Old English term meaning the meeting place of sheep.

Sandbach

A small Welsh bricklayer's mate.

Borrowash

To recycle the bath water, ie putting multiple children in the same bath then using the water to wash the pots afterwards. Also a slang term used for those dodgy memebers of society that pinch ladies underware from washing lines!!

Laxey

The state of the "Ais Gill" (qv.) after six pints of Winter Warmer and a Dansak Madras.

Biblins
Multiple chins.

Pomerania

Australian fascination with all things British, verging on the obsessive.

Down Hatherley
Non-clinical depression, Yorkshire style, as in " . . .tha's lookin reet Down 'Atherley". There's been some good stuff here recently, ignoring this one. :-)

Sole Street

A thoroughfare in which most businesses are shoe markers or shoe repairers.

Cobblers

Support band for Blur Folkstone
Sorry - (one day I shall leave HTMHell)

Folkstone
The average pitch of the human voice.

Stroud

A noisy walking movement

llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch
Medical term: speech impediment.

Pontefract

A bridge that has become unsuitable for HGVs ever since one tried to drive over it.

Wenlock Edge

A nervious time at my local pub Wenlock Arms [Sir Henry] Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch is one word, no hyphen.

Crowlands

The secret stash of nasal crumblies (Crows/Bogies) that children often collect under school-desks when a sleeve or handkerchief is not to hand!!

Bolton

Attached by a mechanical device

[Major Dennis]'tis on the railway sign!

Wirral
A squirrel with a heavy cold.

[Sir Henry] It may be now, but my 3d (3 old pence) "Souvenir Platform Ticket" (148mm x 50mm) has it as one word. Also I seem to remember that the Guiness Book of Records, (Longest place name in the UK,) has it as one word.

Liskeard

Adj., descriptive of a beard that is impregnated with saliva, food, and drink, due to its impractical voluminousness and the messy eating habits of its wearer.

Gdansk

A badly perfomed galloping polka with a man who doesn't realise his own strength. Usually results in a sprained wrist.

Skegness

The state of being skeggy

[Major Dennis] Aha - but go back a little more in time and it was called simply "Llanfair Pwllgwyngyll"

Devil's Dyke
A really nasty dam

[Sir H] on some cheap maps it appears as "Llanfair PG"

Writtle

Only used as the past participle, writtled, meaning old and decayed, like dried leaves etc.

Yeovil (Bloodnok) Llanfair PG is what the locals call it.

Where all the cool dudes live.

Ashton Keyhes

The result of burning wooden door keys.

Little Dunmow

Not got very far with cutting the grass.

Wookey Hole

1. The longest par five on any golf course in Somerset
2. Intimate part of large hairy lady alien's anatomy (coat!)

[Major D/Sir H] LPG?

[Softers] Best one for a while!

Widdenhill
No move, but just lurking and praising Software!
RP reference to the stairs: 'tyme to clymb thee widdenhill to bedforsharr'.

[Bigsmith] no no no no NO!

Walcot
The proper term for a type of space-saving storage consisting of a curtain of fabric to be hung on a wall, into which are sewn many pockets for storing shoes and the like.

Bere Regis

A more potent and tasty version of Lager-and-Lyme Regis. Er, sorry about that.

Fawkham

Bernard Mathews latest TV dinner gimmick in the form of "under" Boiled Ham complete with plastic fork layed to rest in a styrafoam tray on a bed of dodgy cheese. The slogan runs along the lines of " If you can't be botherd with grilling and microwaving is not so thrilling then Fawkham!"............its bootifullllllllllllllllllllll

Denton

As in 'the Den-ton precedent' - procedural point of law involving cast members of TV soaps and exceeding the speed limit.

Worthing
Geordie for "Cosa Nostra".

Bootle

"Expenses" paid to rugby players in days gone by. (Raak) Top drawer!

Horwich

A female Wizard that makes more money by selling her body than she does casting spells and making potions!

Diggle

Dance involving shovels. [Raak] Bravo!

Dorking
Trainspotter hunting.

Sleaford

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