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Liff? Don't talk to me about Liff!
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An old favourite from the Douglas Adams stable, well-known to anyone familiar with Pants MC. The game of giving dictionary definitions to place names. Please define the place provided by the previous player, and then post one of your own.
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A person who fishes for tadpoles.

Wroclaw

The ancient right to ignore laws when they obviously don't apply to you.

Anglesey

What a Tadcaster aspires to do some day.

Malvern

Are we limited to UK place names?
[LotUS] Not at all.
Er, yeah, OK, sorry,

Malvern
A person who lives in a shopping mall. (that's better, but the Viking stuff was quite good.)

Skegness
Description of the amount of incrustation on the gusset of well used underpants. (Deek) The viking stuff made me chuckle. However, I think you may have invented the whole new game of "How places got their names".

Alpe Duez
The money owed for use of a mountain in Europe

[Bigsmith]I agree, next time there's a game slot available, we should try it for real

Verbier

A person who uses too many verbs in conversation or writing. verby, verbier, verbiest.

[Bigsmith & Gusset] There is always Tor and Lundy's brothers, Lon and Don.

Catterick
Something that started out life as a cat basket and has been unravelled, most probably but not necessarily by the cat, enough that it now resembles an extremely disorganised bundlle of straw.

Wagga Wagga

A dog whose enthusiasm exceeds his coordination, to the point where he will fall over from over-vigorous tail wagging.

Walla Walla

Exclamation of French origin, uttered on completion of numerous tasks (walla, walla). Popularised by waiters in East London hotels.

Stoke Bruerne
A commercial colour palette consisting of shades of brick, mud, charcoal, steel, slate, stone, and dark smoke, giving a feeling of old-fashioned industrial vigour and nostalgia for grinding poverty, and a turning away from modern technology. Matching motifs are belching smokestacks, minehead machinery, cobbled streets, and muted brass bands in the distance. Stoke Bruerne has been scheduled to be the fashionable colour scheme for clothes, home furnishings, and mobile phones in Autumn 2006.

Deopham (pron. Deef'm)

(This is the link I meant to use, not the ICC.)
A rather large rancid piece of meat from the belly of an old sow

Deepdale

'Carry On' actor Jim's younger brother

Okehampton
Linford Christie

Noss Mayo
New brand of low-fat salad dressing

Camborne
To lie on one's back and float gently down the river, wherever the currents and eddies may take you.

Ratnapura

A butter-like substance made from rats, used as a skin conditioner, lamp oil, bearing grease, moustache wax, or eaten as butter spread on crisped rat skins.

Omsk

Omsk is the fighting stance adopted by 2 Bull Elephant Seals before doing battle. Also the slang for the pose adopted by Tina Turner before launching inot a rendition of "Simply the best"

Earby

A rare stinging insect that makes it's home inside the aural canal of larger animals. Generally only detected as a quiet buzzing.

Moscow

Resentful at the existence of people who are younger, happier, and wealthier than you will ever be.

Minsk

The pinching sensation in a delicate location caused by a pair of stretch underpants which fitted perfectly when bought but which, ten years and twenty pounds later, are now at the limit of their elasticity.

Frimley

That piece of a sticky price tag that simply cannot be removed from a purchase when you are trying to wrap it as a present for someone.

Crudwell

An oil rig.

La Rochelle
The stage name of a female wrestler (lit. "The Rock-ess") who performed in the Paris vaudeville at the turn of the last century.

Portumna

The slight hesitation before saying "Yes" to another glass of port, composed in varying parts of politeness, greed, embarrassment, and fear of being pulled over by the police on the way home.

Denio

Material for making bootleg designer jeans (Kevin Klein etc)

Newport Pagnell
The aftertaste that comes from drinking fortified wine before it's properly matured

Basingstoke

That inexplicable feeling of utter desolation and loneliness.

Sherston

An intense sensation of memetic isolation or disconnectedness provoked by the realisation that everyone has been playing a game, singing a song, or dancing a dance which you have been entirely unaware of.

Clackamas

A selection of bell hammers ( or collection of clacks) as used by campanologists to creat different sounds using the same set of bells!

Minsk

That sort of pinky-grey meat with little nodules of gristle in found in Happy Shopper sausages and cheap burgers, the origin of which is, at best, dubious. Hindlip
A deformity of the rectal sphincter.

Clashfern

A violent dispute between Polypodiopsidae

Strood

To walk in a vulgar or suggestive manner.

Totnes

A legendary Scotish Loch famed for being haunted by the spirits of piggmy like children or highland faries!

Garstang

Garstang (n.) A rare throat complaint, occurring the minute one tries to articulate something important (such as a marriage proposal, job application, or complaint to the manager of a shop), which mysteriously clears up immediately upon leaving the presence of the person you were trying to talk to.

Abergele

Medical slang, used to keep the patient in the dark, for ointment applied to the rear end. ("Aber" being German for "but", geddit?)

Uist

Estuary English contraction for "You Are"

Truro
The line in a newspaper column that makes the conjecture of the rest of the article seem to be fact.

Swarraton

The particular species of mangled curse words uttered when a very heavy weight lands on a sensitive part and you are too angry to even swear properly.

Clatskanie

If you are knitting, and manage to drop both needles at once in such a way that they drop most or all of the stitches, as a consequence of which the item you are knitting immediately becomes unravelled into several long strings of thread and forces you to start again from the beginning, you are said to have committed a "clatskanie".

Kirkuk

The Russian name for the polo mint, as polo means something rather rude in Russian.

Shifnal
The way a perfectly innocent person looks when taking part in a police identity parade.

Culbokie

A small bird not unlike a sparrow, but with the ant-like ability to lift a hundred times its own body weight. It is not known how this is accomplished, but it is used by the bird to make secure mountain nesting sites burrowing into a hillside then placing a huge boulder in front of the hole.

The creature is becoming a pest since it started to make nests in multistorey car parks which closely resemble its mountain home in bleakness and the availability of boulders (also known as "cars").

Killarney

Californian liberal's view of Schwarzenegger.

Andover

Modesty.

Woolloomooloo

Combined sheep and cattle toilets

Witheridge
The effects brought about by extreme cold/alcohol/age (delete as applicable, unless you are an old Scottish drunk) on the "gentlemans's trouser department".

Goonhilly
The madness of the long-distance walker.

Vladivostok

The reason that your car won't start and needs spending £300 to get it running again.

Langwathby

auld scots/golf: a par 5 over 560 yards on a links course.

Eglwswrw

Either
1. The only sound one is capable of the morning after a night clubbing.
2. The noise generated by a small child when confronted by Brussels sprouts.

Canewdon
A secluded place by the bank of a river in the grounds of a Canadian university where elderly faculty go for nude sunbathing.

Sligo

Shorthand domestic phrase, as in "that's the front door - sligo, or will you?"

Stoke Mandeville

A free sample offered by a drug dealer to a new client. (Basically meaning 'It's grass - on the house, man').

Shetland

Old Scottish. Being in that state of badly needing a poo but having nowhere suitable to do the deed.

Durham
Boiled ham that has started to turn a bright green colour

Portmulgrave

A formerly thriving coastal town which no longer has any reason to exist, having no significant trade, natural resources, historical remains, or scenic vistas, nor being on the way to anywhere else. The East Anglian coast contains many portmulgraves.

Auchtermuchtie

The traditional cry of someone whose hot teacup has overflowed while they were holding it.

Langwathby

An extra long napkin used on the laps of those who are prone to Auchtermucties.

Wauna

Like a sauna, but lukewarm and with considerably less steam. Generally used when it isn't cold enough to snow outside, either. Believed to be a peculiarly British invention. Angmagssalik
The unintelligable sounds made when you suddenly discover that the drink you've just had was a lot stronger than expected

Totford

Unable to pay bills, due to excessive procreation in recent years.

Egremont

A euphemistic catchphrase-type word for shit.

Pimlico

Posh alcholic ice-cream product.

Knokke-Heist
(German) A description for the *polite* type of bank job. The kind that DOESN'T blow the bloody doors off.

Brisbane

A cocktail of laxative products designed to clear out the most stubborn of bowels.....Also the slang term used for an out of work Bristish ex-pat forced to survive via the Australian social security system!
Sandbach
A quantity of builder's materials

Exeter
What was once a word meaning to dissuade the user from employing the letter 'd'. (Come on, think about it...) Pickering
Sorry, still getting used to this...
Disgusting habit involving klingon removal

Flookborough
A wart protruding downwards from a facial extremity by more than 4 millitres. Stanstead
The feeling you get when alone in the dark and see a shadow move... and then realise it's you own.

Gweek
Where Jonathan Ross goes on holiday

Crudwell

Any space where rubbish tends to accumulate and is too much trouble to ever clean properly: behind the cooker, underneath the wardrobe, and the entire interior of a family car.

Barrow-in-Furness

A hired gardener's excuse for the fact that, after you've left him to do a day's work in the garden, nothing appears to have changed at all apart from the fact that all the weeds are one millimetre taller.

Ankara

An area of land made available to those seeking sanctuary from the daily grind of life (or the tax man). The isle of man was once described as the great ANKARA of the northwest! Lords is also an ANKARA, but only when its raining and no cricket is being played.

Papworth

Nice teats.    I'm leaving, ... yes ... now, really, ... now .... *sound effect of door closing*

Fleetwood

North Country expression meaning to escape from the forest.

Hagley

Prone to bargaining

Bukit Timah
The hat placed by a beggar or street musician to collect donations.

Schleswig-Holstein

A type of Bavarian cow which produces cheese or cream straight from its "Papworths". Its hide is also much sought after for the production of wigs. The type used in court rooms!

Hexam

To cast an evil spell on others.

Kidderminster

A cathedral which serves only young goats. Missisippi
Missisippi
The spouse of a social drop-out or new-age traveller.

Brinksworth

One who never bargains, haggles or compromises, on anything. You cannot have a discussion with such a person, only a flaming row. (cf. Paisley, the opposite of Hagley (see above).)

Chewton Mendip

A superfluous piece of flesh hanging off the face of a very old person.

Omagh

South US exclamation. Raak] Lovely!

Ipswich
Trendy method of turning on the lights Basildon
Damn.

Basildon
Barry is well again.

Shipley

In a nautical manner.

Maidstone

A charm for protecting one's virginity.

Dun Laoghaire

(Pron. "Dunleary"): Technical term for someone who is so drunk they can't even ogle.

Tralee

(Pron Trali) Australian wheeled cart used in sheep stations for removal of fleeces after sheering


Chapmanslade
Jelly used to relieve "athlete's itch."

Tuscaloosa

Elephant dentist.

Lisbon

The complimentary sweets left on your hotel room pillow. Often foul tasting and made of mocolate (pretend chocolate).

Tintwistle

Yorkshire dialect for "It is not a whistle"

Nottingham
New non-invasive form of vasectomy.

Brasted

One of those plastic thingies used in lingery shop windows to display female underwear.

Acton Turville

Pretending to be a great Welsh baritone. (Softers) Unfortunately it's "Bray-sted". :-(

Craven Arms

The feeling of really really needing a hug.

Selma

The name of a brand of salt substitute consisting of small white crystals but otherwise having nothing in common with salt.

Midgeley

A village half way between Uppergeley and Lowergeley.

Acton Turville

You've just done that, you old codger. 'Ave anuvver go, mate. :-)
Have I? Showing my age. :-(
Let's try:
Upper Seagry
Losing the contents of one's digestive system through the upper end, due to seasickness. The more inconvenient Lower Seagry is fortunately less common.

Tirstrup

A narrow band of cloth used to bind the feet after removing after removing an inconvenient thorn, drawing pin or Stickle Brick. The middle of the band is wrapped around the affected area of foot, then the loose ends are criss-crossed around the ankle and lower leg to above the point of the calf where they are knotted. A tirstrup is sturdy (it won't come off even if worn under heavy boots) and can act as a tourniquet if necessary (should the would be the result of snake bite, say).

Derwent

The technical definition of a long hike in heavy rain, usually through inhospitable moorland or over inconveniently large hills, either done by an organised group of people (almost invariably the Ramblers' Association) or over a route well-known enough to have become famous as a long-distance hike in its own right (e.g. the Pennine Way). Ian Botham's famous derwent from John O'Groats to Land's End raised masses of money for leukaemia research, but caused him to do enough long-term damage to his legs and lower back so as to pretty much ruin his cricket career a few years later. He was never the same player again.

Madrid

Thad fit of peak whereby you throw out a load of junk during a tidying session, only to regret it later.

Pinkney

The knuckle of your little finger.

Murmansk

A satisfied semi-somnolent noise made while partaking of a glass of pleasantly strong liqueur in front of a blazing fire on a winter evening.

Edeltoft

The filling inside the most expensive and luxurious of Norwegian duvets.

Garway

A border town so named at the turn of the 17th Century due to the townsmens vocalised dislike of visitors.
Chiswick (Sorry senior moment)
A scented candle used during esoteric Chinese therapy sessions.

Yatton Keynell

A sudden panic experienced when you arrive home from a three-week holiday in foreign climes, and realise that you have no idea where your house keys are.

Ootacamund

Prone, due to heavy drinking.

Vagliagli
An Italian culinary cure for impotence.

The Mumbles
A minor disease, caused by impotence.

Nacton
An micro particle, made up of nuclear/radiocative salt. In its natural state it is deemed to be quite harmless but once processed becomes unstable! In this form it is used as the main flavouring for Knick-Knacks!

Edale

Cheese flavoured with beer.

Kirk Yetholm

A retirement home for starship captains.

St. Dogmaels
The resting place of the self-declared patron saint of Mornington Crescent. (Or, at least, it WILL be, when I catch up with the bugger. *evil grin*)

Otago

The African name for a label or name tag, often seen attached to small school children whilst visiting a place of interest on a school trip!

Cebu

A Romanian brand of hair oil.

Iskandriya

A device for removing condensation from tinnies freshly removed from the fridge.

Dursley

A 1920's dance that, for a short time, rivalled the Charlston. Unfortunately, due to a high number of sprained ankles, the Dursley faded into obscurity. It enjoyed a short revival in 1933 but the cost of the reinforced ankle boots (required to avoid said ankle problems) made it prohibitive for the working classes.
In 1975, the music for the Dursley was rediscovered by Richard O'Brien and incorporated into his musical 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'. He changed the name of the dance and re-wrote some of the choreography but the tune stayed the same.
"Let's do the Dursley again" bacame the world-wide hit "Let's do the Time Warp again".

Mallaig
Exclamation uttered by a Scotsman marching through the heather, on being bitten by a cleg beetle.

Chorban Suburgan

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