The feeling you get when alone in the dark and see a shadow move... and then realise it's you own.

Gweek

Where Jonathan Ross goes on holiday

Crudwell

Any space where rubbish tends to accumulate and is too much trouble to ever clean properly: behind the cooker, underneath the wardrobe, and the entire interior of a family car.

Barrow-in-Furness

A hired gardener's excuse for the fact that, after you've left him to do a day's work in the garden, nothing appears to have changed at all apart from the fact that all the weeds are one millimetre taller.

Ankara

An area of land made available to those seeking sanctuary from the daily grind of life (or the tax man). The isle of man was once described as the great ANKARA of the northwest! Lords is also an ANKARA, but only when its raining and no cricket is being played.

Papworth