Garstang (n.) A rare throat complaint, occurring the minute one tries to articulate something important (such as a marriage proposal, job application, or complaint to the manager of a shop), which mysteriously clears up immediately upon leaving the presence of the person you were trying to talk to.

Abergele

Medical slang, used to keep the patient in the dark, for ointment applied to the rear end. ("Aber" being German for "but", geddit?)

Uist

Estuary English contraction for "You Are"

Truro

The line in a newspaper column that makes the conjecture of the rest of the article seem to be fact.

Swarraton

The particular species of mangled curse words uttered when a very heavy weight lands on a sensitive part and you are too angry to even swear properly.

Clatskanie