arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
Good News / Bad News
help
Right, another chance to alternately build our spirits up and then disappoint them. I can't be bothered to change the winning move so it's still Mornington Crescent.
arrow_circle_up
Bad news
You are in a hotel room in Soho with Morrissey and there are a dozen taxi's outside..you hail one and forget to blow him
Good News
You also stole his hearing aid, so he is no longer able to make mind numbing solo albums!
Bad News
You forgot you were his agent - now you're skint. (This is getting very silly)
Good News
Liberated from possessions, you go away and sit in a cave for ten years, and so find enlightenment.
Bad News
You now have a very sore arse, intolerance to light, loss of all social niceties and have no clothes.
Good News
You are, therefore, ideally suited to a position in local government. you make stacks of money by awarding contracts to huge faceless corporations that bung you some tax-free cash in exchange. (oh just read the bath chronicle you'll see what I mean...)
Bad News
Those faceless corporations are Halliburton, Parmalat, and Enron.
Good News
You are therefore untouchable, and can rest soundly knowing they will never even attempt to prosecute you.
Bad News
They do, however, prosecute your cat, your mother and anyone else who ever remotely knew you.
Good News
Your conscience having withered years back through your suspect business practices, you simply couldn't care less.
Bad News
Everything else about your person has also withered
Good News
At least you didn't blow Morrisey. (comus] did I read that right?)
Bad News
But he did give you a copy of his next cd (Groan)
Good News
You now don't have to waste money on a coaster.
Bad News
You no longer have a mate like Morrissey to make you mugs of tea to stand on the coaster
Good News
Tea is bad for you anyway.
Bad News
You used to drink 20 mugs a day, and now you're getting severe withdrawal symptoms.
good news
Johnny Marr loves your sister and gives a ton of cocaine to Bermondsey
Bad News
You live in Llandudno
Good News
And so does Mrs Trellis, who reliably informs me that there is a thriving drugs scene in these ultra-respectable Welsh versions of the Costa Geriatrica.
Bad News
Unfortunately, you get swindled when you try to buy some E and then realise the old biddy actually sold you enalapril, an anti-hypertensive.
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord