...I had no ink, and uncertain times call for desperate measures. As a fugitive from the law, I...

live in the south of Spain among like-minded individuals. There, the sun shines constantly, making . . . .

...candlelit dinners somewhat pointless. This of course is why I never...

...actually moved to Spain, especially since I was still locked up in Strangeways, albeit dreaming of sunnier climes. My 'cellmate', a ...

...mobile phone accessory of some description, was very handy for scraping away at the walls to build my escape tunnel. I had just persuaded the warden to give me a really really big picture of Humphrey Lyttleton to cover my nascent tunnel when...