..stamps on the label and post it to..

me in North Wales. On a happier note, March brought with it...

a nice gift from someone called Ann Summers. Imagine my delight upon opening the package to find...

... the replacement axles for the clapped-out Cortina. So, fully re-axled and relax-ed [geddit?], we opted for a spring holiday motoring around ...

...the rainforests of Central America. Imagine my surprise when...

..the axles got infested with termites. We had to jack-up the car and remove the..

assylum seekers who had fixed themselves to the axles with...

...walnut and grasshopper chutney. After we'd done that, I discovered, to my astonishment, that I was able to use the jack on my...

tent pegs to hammer them into the ground. Things were going really well putting up the tent until.....

The asylum seekers demanded that tea...

...should be served with walnut and grasshopper chutney. Well, seeing as they'd used the last of our supplies to stick themselves to our car, we had no recourse but to...