assylum seekers who had fixed themselves to the axles with...

...walnut and grasshopper chutney. After we'd done that, I discovered, to my astonishment, that I was able to use the jack on my...

tent pegs to hammer them into the ground. Things were going really well putting up the tent until.....

The asylum seekers demanded that tea...

...should be served with walnut and grasshopper chutney. Well, seeing as they'd used the last of our supplies to stick themselves to our car, we had no recourse but to...