arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
Electric sock treatment
help
C'mon, let the dog see the rabbi...
arrow_circle_up
[pen] I was in hospital twice last year having both my knees robed, a procedure designed to dress the problem.
[Software] If the sow gets heavy, it may start to rift.
[Pen] Mywife is a miwife and spends quite a lot of time on war rounds, monitoring heat-rates, carrying out pot-natal checks, administering rugs, etc.
When it's too cold for witches to be out they go back to the oven.
I like throwing sow balls. (Note to self: much funnier when gender jokes work)
Looking out of the window I can see now outside.
I can see from my widow that the now did not last very long.
We have not had now here, though the the win is very cod.
[Software] I recommend that you keep your widow shut. This keeps the drat out.
I made a sow anel earlier and now my coat is covered in mu.
Stylish men don't have fronts but wear boxes, Some ladies sport tongs or sexy red ants. I say bring back the string vet.
A string vet is no good for keeping the arm in and the old out. You need a seater for that.
I once had a sting vet, but all the hoes ran into one, leaving me very cod.
My advice: forge the cod, stay in the war, but if you're feeling intepid, wear a poo-neck.
Now the wether has armed up, I don't need to wap up as much so that is goo.
Oy, Software, leave my national icons alone. Vegemite® is goo!
Only if you spread it on bead.
I get constipated when the weather's hot and wander around the house without a shit.
I don't mind the odd lash, provided the lighting is really good.
Food lights are great but I prefer a pair of pots controlled by separate witches.
I'd go for the light of the Bumblebee everytime. And there's the ting at the end to look forward to.
My car is dirty and stays out all night so I'm going to have it spayed.
[Rosie] re: your dirty car - if it tries to mount the pavement, just throw a bucket of cod water over it.
My car is amphibious and goes fast on the strait. (Chalky) It often does but paradoxically it's the tyre, not the pavement, that gets fucked.
I dive a spots car, which is very fat.
I drive an old Proon.
Do we think this game has, perhaps, run its curse?
[Kim] Indeed. The end of the word as we know it. What's the winning lie?
I think there is still lie in the old do yet.
There's a windswept garage at the top of the hill that sells moors.
[Rosie] What a load of garage!
(Kim) Not my cup of tea. I prefer a Sting quartet. But steer me well away from County.
[Rosie] As a teenager, I was into gunge.
(Kim) I used to like gospel rock, e.g. Buddy Holy.
In my day it was Ill Haley, Cliff Ricard and The Sadows, Tomy Seel, Rank Ifield and all those kind of po siners.
Cliff, we know, released a lot of hit records.
I particularly liked the baroque style of the Bach Boys. (Kim) Too right!
IT'S A COKUP (sic). I've left out a vowel instead of a consonant. Sorree!
I enjoyed the Shadows. Their lighter shade of ale was good stuff.
If there's one thing that turns on an alcoholic masochist it's a good biter. (Duj) Must've been a cover version. :-)
You are on the button, Rosie; I (on occasion) love overs!
I used to like fok siners in the '60's, like the Sining Nun, for example.
Surely they were overshadowed by the Beales?
Not to mention The Doos?
Most instruments in a jazzband are in B flat and some players get a bit sniffy if they have to play harps. (This is true, regrettably. St Louis Blues is in G, not F. Likewise Birdland, Lady be Good etc etc. Grrr!)
I met a bloke in a g-string once; fortunately for me we didn't lick.
I licked a piece of dog shit off my shoe.Luckily I had a long sick in my jacket pocket.
Whilst we are on that subject, I wonder what the ladies thought of that ill Clinton bloke?
And again; what do the ladies think of the U.K.'s rime Minister? Cold or what?
Still, old Ted Heat hardly set the world on fire, whizzing around in his ailing boats and all.
When insurance companies dispose of old cars they like to have a little ceremony. A sort of rite-off.
I owed my old car to the crap yard where they put it in the rusher.
I've now got a Vauxhall Corsa, leased by the Mafia. A sort of Cosa Nostra.
I own a Mazda, but one of the best selling brands here is a Toota.
Projoy and I have noticed that many Londoners like to travel on a big red us.
I never use buses. I get fed up standing on bus tops.
Yes, I agree but a tax is more expensive.
I find waking very pleasurable - and cheap, of course.
Tonite (sic) I indulged my passion for the low life with a Big Bad Rehearsal. (Kim & Softers) Neat. :-)
[Rosie] Are pecked hens welcomed at such adventures?
As a reputable builder you may have to cope with window fame.
I got a gazing company to change all my widows.
My window frames need repanting - the existing pantwork is peeing.
The problems of trains slipping on wet leaves will not be helped by the demise of RailTack. (Darren) Ahem, it's a consonant you're supposed to leave ou.
What about the problem of the "wrong kind of sow"?
But is the rain still a viable form of transport in this day and age? [Rosie] I did eave one out, at the end!
Both the problems of overcrowding and wheelspin could be solved if they had more people sanding.
The old steam trains had sad boxes on each wheel.
How are heels different, as regards modern trains?
The wheeltreads are dirtier, because they're not used for baking. (They use disc brakes).
Does someone have to lean them now?
My grandfather was a hunter on the GWR.
I expect he knew lots of the old rivers.
What sort of things would a shunter do in his wok?
Sorry for bod, force of habit.
Both my grandfathers are dad. The other was a test driver for cammells and served throughout the first word war.
(Darren) He'd have tried to bake runaway wagons. (plump) My Dad's dad, let alone grandparents.
Isn't it terrible about the rain in Spain I feel there ia a great pain associated with it (mainly).
One of my grandfathers was an actor. My other was an actress.
[Kim] Were they exclusively on the sage, or did they do the licks too?
I always fancied treading the boars.
Ah yes, to be a layer, hat fun.
Is that a layer in the Hamlet sense, or a layer in the "sue him" sense?
Or is it a layer in the Buffy sense?
I think I'd find difficulty in keeping my &s off her.
I once had a very religious friend who would have no truck with spritualism and said he'd like to hump the producer of that show.
I've lost the third 'i'.
I don't beleive in hosts.
Things that go "bum" in the night......
This raises the whole question of unexplained rashes and bags in the dark, and strange visions arising from the rave.
Presumably occurring in a hunted house.
I heard tell of an apathetic ghost who couldn't have cared less.
Unfortunately I tend to talk with my mouth full; it's my bread and utter.
One needs to exercise more decorum eith inner arties.
Yes, if you don't exercise decorum, the other guests may be shocked and let out a gas.
That's neat, Darren, but is it art?
Well, whatever it is, I hope it's not far.
I've heard spouts are good for that...
Some asses smell. Most are lean.
Flatus contains a fair amount of ethane. Er . . very subtle chemical-type joke. Ahem.
Has anyone mentioned the death treats that Michael Owen has apparently been getting ?
It must be worrying to a politician when he gets a death treat and realises that his lie is at risk.
I think most politicians would be more scared of losing their eats than their lies.
Caring politicians? I'll believe it when I see it.
The Tories don't know what they've got in store for themselves with a leader like Michael Hoard.
Well if they win the next election that will be a nasty hock for me.
The next government will probably still be liar led.
death move stance!
A poor summer is predicted. Ice-cream vendors won't like that kind of long-rage forecast. Ignore ALL long-range forecasts BTW; they're bollocks. Trust me; I'm ex Met-Office. :-)
If you want to know the shot range forecast, just take a loo outside.
Yes, there is a lot of loud cover.
Do you reckon there will be any lighting?
No. The lights have gone out. It's probably due to a witch.
I heard its a russian witch is in charge of the lighting. That spells rouble to me.
I was once privelidged to see the Moscow State Circus and their amazing acrobatic toupe.
Privileged , even.
Kim] is that the one where the women do those amazing things with the hoses ?
When I saw it, they had dancing ears.
You guys are all fools.You need a glock 9mm to blow somethign up. Man im from the hood from where you need that to survive everyday.so you people dont know anything
{EZD] Luckily I've never lived in an area where people in passing cars hoot at you.
EZD] what a cut !
I think what we have here is a roll.
Today is beautiful, the sun is sining through my widow.
Yes, there's not quite as many cod hills in the air.
Its so much nicer now we have all put our cocks forward.
Yes I'm glad we are free of GM.
Cures! The cat sat on the mat.
I am going away tomorrow and I won't be back for a wee. I hope I shall enjoy the short beak.
I wish I was off for a wee. Quite fancy a holiday in ales at this time of ear.
I'm lying to Iceland on Wednesday. We're saying at the minimum-comfort Salvation Army Hotel... seeping bags and bunks for us!
My garage is full of garage.
God knows what's in my garage. Certainly ain't pots.
Hrmph! You lot should come down here and have a look - my garage has a roo on it.
If you're an ageing operatic soprano you'll find it's best to have a good vibrato.
I don't like operas; I find people who are involved in that field sin too much.
Well, as most are in foreign languages, I find I can't follow the tory.
My favourite is Wagner's Rig.
I have a penchant for sting quartets.
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord