They've been here from the beginning - it's Mrs Sis and her daughter Jenny

I've noticed they've kept their distance from the distinguished clergyman the very Rev E. Lations.

Please welcome the Sgospel family and their lovely sons, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

Looking a bit strained, the recently divorced Ms O'Dus and her ex.

I'm very pleased to announce the arrival of a distinguished contingent from the Royal College of Anaesthetists. Will you welcome please these numbers.

I'm sorry I got here late, by the way, but can I just draw your attention to the hard work done by our doorman, Levi, who checks off all the guests on his list as they come in? That's right, Levi, tick us.

*feeling sure we can welcome the entire Old Testament [somehow]* Yet another miserable couple - Mrs O'Mee and her husband Ron. Her glum demeanour is due to Ron O'Mee.

And here's the Vicar, the Rev. Elation

Bzzt! Repetition!

rab] jesus wept !
Look !It's mr & mrs Imtuakros, and their only son, Neil Imtuakros.

Please welcome Mr & Mrs Lee-Hem and their daughter Beth

Please welcome Mr & Mrs Isteins and their son Phil

Can't believe he's only just arrived, it's that noble philanthropist and all-round great guy Mr Aritan. Say hello to the Good Sam Aritan

All welcome please the Bull family and their often cryptic son, Parry.

Here comes the cobbler, Joe Shoer, closely followed by his half-Persian namesake, Joe D'ges. What a lot of trouble those two always get up to - I rue th' day they got together.

I see we have a huge crowd from the various Sipuls Groups around the country. And just joining them now all the way from Norfolk are the Diss Sipuls.

lol

I've heard that Genesis are providing the music!

It's cabaret time. We have a top grade act for you tonight, the best of the best. A thespian group called the Postles. Yes it's the Acts of the 'A' Postles!

On a lighter note we have Mr & Mrs Ediction and their son Ben Ediction

Please welcome Mr and Mrs Gi and their daughter May.

Please welcome Mr & Mrs Myer and their son Jerry

Just over there helping the Fallen Virgin, Sam Ariton doing a good turn.

Oh look, sticking loosely on the theme, here are Mr and Mrs Saintsgomarchingin, and their crazy daughter, Wendy Saintsgomarchingin

And here are Mr & Mrs Iversofbabylon and their son Thor. No, he's just leaving -- bye, Thor Iversofbabylon!

Please be upstaning for the Lee-Ghosts, and their eldest son Theo Lee-Ghost

and of course from Lancashire the Eccles Lee-Asteys

The youngest member of the Iggle family is dawdling at the back of the queue. Will someone just prod Iggles' son?

Keeping the attendance record is our faithful servant, Teronomy. Can you tell us when the next guests are due, Teronomy?

Introducing Mr & Mrs See and their daughterFara.

Oh god here come the Vations, with their righteous daughter Sal Vation

And here come the American representatives of the Federation of Evangenical Zoroastrians and Nestorians: the F.E.Z.N.s

[Raak] Are Evangenicals the the product of Monsanto's Welsh research programme?
I'd just like to announce the result of the annual sovereigns versus judiciary football match: Kings 2, Judges 1.

CRIPES, here is the Whore of Babylon, which would suggest that the Dale Ovjudgement is here, and we must change balls, as it were.....

Here comes Tessa Lonians, who says there's a bunch of gay bishops trying to gatecash the party! But I think it's just a cruiser fiction.

Arriving with some bottles of their home-brewed beer, please welcome the house mates, Corinne Thians, Phillip Ians and Col O'Sians ... not forgetting Phil Emon. He brews.

From Spain, there's Senor Godthefatheralmighty, and his son who's in extreme pain. But he's taking painkillers, so there's Ibuleve in Juan Godthefatheralmighty.

[MF sublime!] At last - the methodists have arrived, but it looks as though one of them is missing. Where's Leanne Methodist?

right.
Oh look ! Its the Ceptions with their hairy daughter Connie. She's going to depilate herself for charity tonight, christ knows she needs it. What's that dear ? No no, not now, we'll wait till everyones here. Don't worry we won't forget, we'll Immac you later Connie Ception.

That plonker Richard Sark is trying to get up on stage again and make a dipstick of himself. I don't know about you but I'm getting very tired of his exhibitionism, so I say No R Sark, leave us alone!

A consignment of grammar specialists have snuck in! Of course, they would sneak, weedle, steal or even creep. They're very pro verbs. But they still shouldn't be at our party! Nor indeed should the welsh farmer Mr Entations' pet lamb. It's spilling the punch bowls all over the guests! Dan'll get rid of them for us, and he'll hose ya down afterwards. And I see that the lovely Mrs. Ling's traditional dress has been spoilt by the punch - the colour's all run out of the sash. Good job there's an obi dyer in the room!