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Say, why don't we do the show right here?
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Having successfully zhooshed into existence pantomimes and Shakespearean plays, surely it's time for us to put on a musical. The best musicals are terse, brief affairs, based on a well known story, so rather than trying to create a full-length effort, let's instead create single scene musicals which dash through the plot at Reduced Shakespeare speed, interpolated with songs about 4 lines long.
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Oh my God, my rating's fallen!
Blew your trumpet, burned your boats!
Out! Out! Out! Out! OUT!
(sounds of sawing, hammers and wall crashing down.
smoke billows from the right of stage, to reveal a grinning idiot

On daytime I made my new life from MDF
And now to pickle Carole Smilie in a jar
I am the people's chump

*after a long silence from the orchestra, take bows and return to the dressing room for an early bath*
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