mc5 - Say, why don't we do the show right here?

Having successfully zhooshed into existence pantomimes and Shakespearean plays, surely it's time for us to put on a musical. The best musicals are terse, brief affairs, based on a well known story, so rather than trying to create a full-length effort, let's instead create single scene musicals which dash through the plot at Reduced Shakespeare speed, interpolated with songs about 4 lines long.

Lights up on the compound. DAVINA McCALL steps out front with a clipboard

Davina

(In an authoritative manner, dressed all in black and preferably about 6.5 months pregnant). Hello, and welcome to Big Brother!

Sada

(steps forward into the spotlight)

Okay, yah, 'kay yah.
I'm just the
Biggest thing this show has ever seen
And I'm a novelist!
The flattest matest, dahling, I'm the queen
The bestest hovelist!

Davina

Well that's what you say, my darling
How about the viewers' votes?

Sada

Oh my God, my rating's fallen!