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Say, why don't we do the show right here?
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Having successfully zhooshed into existence pantomimes and Shakespearean plays, surely it's time for us to put on a musical. The best musicals are terse, brief affairs, based on a well known story, so rather than trying to create a full-length effort, let's instead create single scene musicals which dash through the plot at Reduced Shakespeare speed, interpolated with songs about 4 lines long.
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Bring it on! Show us the way
to get into the house,

Into the limelight
(unison)
Into fame! Fame! FAME!

Lights up on the compound. DAVINA McCALL steps out front with a clipboard

(In an authoritative manner, dressed all in black and preferably about 6.5 months pregnant). Hello, and welcome to Big Brother!
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