You can try the best you can, the best you can is good enough. You're living in a fantasy world. Take the money and run. You can keep the furniture. Where'd you park the car? Cut the kids in half. Everyone wants to be your friend. I think you're crazy, maybe. Stop sending letters, letters always get burned. When i am king you will be first against the wall, with your opinion which is of no consequence at all. Ambition makes you look very ugly. Breathe keep breathing, don't lose your nerve. There are doors that let you in and out, but never open. But they are trapdoors that you can't come back from. Ambition makes you look very ugly.

Another rather predictable month. You will hurtle through space, orbiting a giant ball of gas. You will continue to be composed of Hydrogen and Helium, have a density of 0.69 g/cm³ and remain surrounded by rings composed of thousands of water ice particles. Later this week you will move into Capricorn, but it's unlikely you'll feel the benefit.

With Harold Jenkins moving into the House of Janice Smith, you'll find yourself assailed by meteors from the Perseid Shower. There might be some minor impacts on your northern pole, but it seems unlikely that your orbit will be significantly altered. More significant is next week, when Harold Jenkins will come into conflict with Mr Perkins at work - look out for a glancing encounter with Ceres, leading to a definite change of pace as you change orbit to several degrees off the ecliptic! Obviously things will be a bit quiet after that for a few thousand years, although induced precession in your orbital pattern after a near approach to Jupiter will presage a fiery death in Earth's upper crustal zone, incidentally bringing to an end the lives of all the descendents of Harold Jenkins.

You might want to cancel the milk.

I see the mists clearing and a shape emerges. No, make that two shapes. They are becoming clear. You will accosted by a gnu. Its name is Herbert. The other shape is a horse, called Sean. It is a nice gnu, not to be confused with the German battleship the Gneisenau, sister ship to the Scharnhorst, not to be confused with Sean Horse, which is your horse. There will be buttercups.

Today is another good day for wearing red dungarees.