Today is a great day for sea-goats ! You will get a date for the excision of your ingrowing toenail, you will find a faience brooch in your cutlery drawer, and you will see a vision of Mother Theresa of Calcutta in TESCO's car park. Avoid butter until Tuesday however. Your lucky electronic component is the electrolytic capacitor.

Today is a good day. After a siege of eight months, you will finally capture the city of Saguntum, thereby breaking the Ebro River treaty, and precipitating the Second Punic War. Your best bet is to march into Gaul, before assembling a force of war elephants and attacking Rome from over the Alps. Avoid Libyssa. Your lucky presocratic is Heraclitus.

You have an abundance of caring of other people, share this gift with those that seek the pleasure of work. Do not clean up after yourself today, others shall take enjoyment from tidying your unruly mess and washing your most honourable dirty cups. Their industry will bring you tranquility of enlightenment.

Today is a good day to die.

Life is never smooth. The chunky texture of your life right now has a vinegary aftertaste which may not be to your liking. However, rest assured there will be a sweet taste of success, which is sure to be yours to relish at leisure once you have managed to get the lid off. Just don't look too closely at the label.