It was November 1975 when Penelope made the first of her appearances on the ITV talent show, Opportunity Knocks, and this proved to be the start of an incredible career for a unique ‘licensed to kill’ MI5 agent specialising in comic verse.

Penelope always wanted to be a writer. At school she shone brilliantly at English and Art, but was pretty useless at everything else. On leaving the Women’s Royal Air Force, Pen set out to achieve her ambition. By this time her poems and verses had become a legend having been connected to a mass suicide at the local folk club in Oxford.

Her appearance on television’s Opportunity Knocks was linked to the downfall of the (then) labour Government and the election of Margaret Thatcher. She was rapidly recruited to MI5 as a stealth poet where she honed her skills interrogating former soviet spys in iambic pentameter.

With her lilting whimsical verses, cherubic features and soft ‘yokel’ accent, Pen has extracted confessions from thousands.

This man turns up every now and then. In this instance he has noticed that Bob has used more than three sentences iin his description of Penelope. He likes tea and haikus.

I should like to make it quite clear that I was only serving one sentence during the period I posted my last comment.

Once a world-renouned neurosurgeon, he slowly lost touch with reality after his meeting with Simons Mith (q.v.) His subsequent animation of the formerly-BT AI led to his near-complete loss of sanity. The hospital in Aberdeen from which he practiced released him and, in an attempt to protect their reputation, claimed his insanity was caused by syphilis.
Yer Mom's ability to exert his will upon small animals was heavily exploited under the puppetry of Simons. Horrible evidence of Simons' control over Yer Mom (and hence the control of the badgers) can be found here.
Yer Mom finally broke free of Simons Mith's reach recently. Thought to be in hiding, he has been purported to briefly reside everywhere from Njarðvík to Macquarie Island However, wherever he tries to go, he is under the constant fear that Simons Mith will meet him there. He better have an army of wallabys ready.

Picture credits: 1. Mr Wild Pants. 2. Raak. 3. matt.