Darren's recent decision to turn his remarkable talents to the world of Mornington Crescent has been universally welcomed by those in the worlds he leaves behind. Whether Char fishing in Greenland, Poker dealing in the Australian outback, or communicating with spacemen in spangly silver suits in Nevada, Darren has invariably found himself - after a surprisingly short time - without peer. Few can keep pace with his accomplishments, and still fewer even attempt it.

Dujon's arrival here is a welcome one, as he has been showing his prowess at PantsMC for some time now. Although born in the home country of MC, he was offered in exchange in the 1950s by ITV to allow Rolf Harris to come to Britain - an event that many regret. In order to hide his pom persona, he masquerades online as an West Indian ex-Test-wicket-keeper (which is why he never plays when it's raining).

In spring a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love, and so it is that the Morniverse has recently been blessed with a veritable epidemic of nuptials. Latest to tie the knot is the estimable blamelewis, whose wedding has been the occasion of much feasting and merriment for Crescenters far and wide. Naturally, a few nagging doubts remain concerning the mysterious disappearances of his previous eight wives, but only the most churlish party-pooper would worry about such matters at a time like this. Pass the champagne, blame!

A mountain of muscle, a chiselled chin, handsome features, a broad grin. Wishing to blest with these things, Dunx feels he must make up for by painting himself David Dickinson fashion and enticing friendships by building truly excellent websites. His lucky vegetable is the gherkin and he is often to be found buying said gherkins in remote parts of the world - Nigeria of late - aiming as he is to build the most impressive gherkin collection known to man.

Lodge is not one person, but is, in fact, an on-line ID that can be used by any member of the Masons to humiliate others in MC. They alone have access to the black books chained up in the cellars of their lodges, each containing ancient and terrible truths about MC, and the secrets of the Dollis Hill Loop. Beware... Beware this name, for a challenge with 'Lodge' in the Lockisseum would be an invitation of certain death.