Genies are known for their trickery in which they will technically grant a wish but then there are consequences to that wish being granted. A classic example is that somebody will wish for a million dollars, but then we find out the million dollars is stolen from banks.
So, let's take a turn at being those tricky genies, in a way - because we have the internet and imagination (yeah, the wishes, consquences and conditions can get VERY SILLY)!
The beginning poster posts a wish. The person that posts under it grants the wish, but they put in the part that isn't wanted. That person then also puts their own wish and the game continues.
It might look something like this.
Pen:
I wish I had a million dollars.
Simons Mith:
Granted, but the million dollars is stolen from banks.
I wish I never had to pay another utility bill.
Rak:
Granted, but now you live on a boat with pirates.
I wish I had eyes in the back of my head.
And on it goes . . .
So, I'll start with my wish. I wish that I would never get too cold, no matter the temperature.
You run into Pygmalion, who is so enraptured with the perfection of your body as a subject for sculpture that before you can say "aetalaG", the force of his artistic vision has transformed you into a marble statue.
If that were so I'd stay clear of your local garage. Your probable hourly rate would be infinitesimal compared with the operating costs of a hydraulic jack, let alone its capital cost. Besides, it's all oily and some cars are really heavy.
If you really want to be hated by those in your profession who do the real work, then I suppose being a Military Policeman is for you. There's an opening in the US Army, just ask this recruiting sergeant.
Simples, if you want to see the flash into the ultraviolet whose spectrum betrays its constituent parts, just hang about on the edge of this black hole, and ... oops.
However finding out what everyone really thinks about you, is likely to make you want to crawl under the duvet and hide - except your better half gives you some strongly negative thoughts about not wanting you there either.
I wish I had a comfortably warm place to live (which can be economically heated).
That will take some training: here, spend a year with this friendly sperm whale, just do what he does and you'll find you'll be diving to 12000 feet under the sea very quickly!
According to the theory of Time And Relative Dimension In Space, being able to travel faster than light is equivalent to having a time machine. You are in great danger of meeting your younger selves and dying of embarrassment, and if you get over that, you will face an eternity of saving the universe from destruction every Saturday.
I wish the James Webb telescope could see even farther.
You are already in one. You don't seriously think The Morniverse could exist in the "real" one, do you? This is the problem - reality is totally illusory.
Ooh, this mail-order catalogue has just what you need! There's the posture corset, the egg clock, and this patented Crockery Dispenser Unit with Integrated Dishwasher and Purification unit. Controlled by a smartphone app, upgrade available to AI-based Predictive Plate Use (PPU). It's on wheels so you can take it with you wherever you go.
You could try taking that tea-towel out of your mouth. Or possibly get the speech level above 1db with a bit of singing training. If all else fails, stomp and gesticulate wildly while miming.
Well, you could always hire Bob, right? But, then you'd have to become a cartoon. I think we can fix that? I wish things would quit delaying my house from being fully repaired.
Here you are, just a £ a lb. ’Course, it’s badger steak, but they’re hand-reared shade-grown organic badger steaks, and if you put in a regular order, we can offer a 50% discount on a badger fur coat.
I wish I could wear my badger fur coat without vegans throwing paint at me.
[Pablo] Granted! You write a pop hit, but after a few days, everybody starts HATING your song and you never heard the end of it! I wish I could clean entire households simply by THINKING about cleaning them and not have to do any physical work.
We can't risk that again, so take this infant and infuse it with all the experience and wisdom at your disposal, so that it makes none of the same mistakes.
I want to invent warp drive and go to the stars, explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilisations, and boldly go where no man has gone before.
I am locking you into a windowless room with walls that admit not a single noise from outside. An amount of food and water will be poured in during daylight hours only.
You spend the best part of a million pounds for the short-lived pleasure of watching a large object tumble helplessly and hopelessly into the sea due to coastal erosion.
You're retired. You eat when you want, sleep lots, complain for little reason and change your mind frequently. Everything has to be just as it was yesterday, or you get cranky. That cough also sounds like you've got hairballs. What do you mean, you wish?
That feature wall in your house that you covered with green emulsion? That's exactly how Constable would have done it too if he'd lived there and chosen that colour.
I would like all my problems solved and never to be worried again.
Here's a lifetime subscription to the Seniors Book Club, featuring such titles as "Teach Yourself Braille", "Which Hearing Aid", and "Easy Sudoku". And there's a bonus: a reduced price on the services of Dignitas!
If only doing a thing was as easy as thinking about doing it.
Try this recipe for Hungarian goulash with extra chili, wherein the flavour and heat are disguised by liberal amounts of dettol, dog biscuits and kerosene.
You own a large townhouse where your cook lives and enjoys a wonderful life while you are forced to live in the forest by a ferocious bear that nobody wants to deal with.
I wish I had students for my online theatre classes.