arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The return of the facial nightwear game
help
Forget names, faces? Embarrassed by your poor command of English? Have you encountered a mysterious and possibly very rude phrase, but you're afraid to ask what it meant? This is the place for you. Leave such face pyjamas here, and let our panel of resident experts laugh at them.
arrow_circle_up
Double Bassooning is a variation on breaking wind similar to "stepping on a duck" whereby one breaks wind on each stride but in this instance two people are involved with one playing the counter melody. An attempt by the Coldstream guards to achieve this on mass was the highlight of the 1964 Trooping the Colour.

Tricycle Ointment can it be trusted to do the job?
I interject with this irrelevance. I went to school in a tiny village north of York (near Castle Howard). The matron (she had a deputy who really was, as I recall, the product of mixing 1 part Hattie Jacques to two parts Nursie from Blackadder) had a magnificent, all-purpose, 'there-that'll-make-it-better-it's-only-a-graze/bruise/burn/headache-so-stop-fussing' medicinal cream specially made up by a pharmacist in Malton, nearby (God alone knows what went into it). The name of this panacea? Trinity Ointment. And as far as I recall, yes - it could be trusted to do the job ... I now return you to your normal programme
Trinity Ointment might well do the job of Tricycle Ointment. The latter is a lubricating and emollifying material for smoothing the axle of the Three Great Turnings of the Wheel of the Dharma; put more prosaically, it is an anti-haemorrhoid cream for monks who must spend many hours sitting in meditation.

Where might one see a Manchester Gallop?

Prefixing a Face Pyjama with the word Manchester traditionally coarsens the thing described. For example "I unscrewed it with a Manchester Spanner" means you used a Hammer. "I knocked it back into place with a Manchester Hammer" means you kicked it, and so on. So, a "Manchester Gallop" must mean one of those stumbling runs with random reels to one side or the other and frequent collisions with road furniture that are popularised by the consumers of Strong Drink.

Portsmouth Kettle

The use of the word Portsmouth in a Face Pyjama is very similar to the use of the word Manchester above. It is used to describe something that is unutterably dull. Obviously a Portsmouth Kettle either needs a good polish or lacks charisma.

But what are Budgerigar Trousers?
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord