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The return of the facial nightwear game
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Forget names, faces? Embarrassed by your poor command of English? Have you encountered a mysterious and possibly very rude phrase, but you're afraid to ask what it meant? This is the place for you. Leave such face pyjamas here, and let our panel of resident experts laugh at them.
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Slipping toffee - only tasty if you get away with it. It was a disparaging term invented around the "Cash for Questions" kind of time - it referred to the brown envelopes of money which bore a passing resemblance to the paper bags which the older politicians remembered taking their pocket-money toffee home in, and the underhand delivery of said envelopes between those involved became known by their disapproving colleagues as "slipping toffee".
Frognal twitching is the state of frustration experienced by a man when he thought he would be invited in by his new girlfriend after walking her home. Related to the expression Finchley Road and Frognal, meaning a couple who are (or are presumed to be) having sexual relations.

What is Double Bassooning?

Apart from painful?
Double Bassooning is a variation on breaking wind similar to "stepping on a duck" whereby one breaks wind on each stride but in this instance two people are involved with one playing the counter melody. An attempt by the Coldstream guards to achieve this on mass was the highlight of the 1964 Trooping the Colour.

Tricycle Ointment can it be trusted to do the job?
I interject with this irrelevance. I went to school in a tiny village north of York (near Castle Howard). The matron (she had a deputy who really was, as I recall, the product of mixing 1 part Hattie Jacques to two parts Nursie from Blackadder) had a magnificent, all-purpose, 'there-that'll-make-it-better-it's-only-a-graze/bruise/burn/headache-so-stop-fussing' medicinal cream specially made up by a pharmacist in Malton, nearby (God alone knows what went into it). The name of this panacea? Trinity Ointment. And as far as I recall, yes - it could be trusted to do the job ... I now return you to your normal programme
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