You're not missing anything, although someone else may be. A Virtual Ending is when two people in bed together amicably decide, for whatever reason, that it's not going to work, and just have a snuggle instead.

I recently heard a birdwatcher mention sighting a Trunnion's Warbler. It's not listed in any reference book I've looked at. What is it?

Twitchers' slang originally for a magpie, now applied to any common bird. An amateur birdwatcher called Goately Trunnion famously excited the ornithological world with reports of a pair of Pied Blue-winged Azalea Warblers (thought to be extinct) in his Wimbledon garden. They turned out to be magpies, to Trunnion's eternal shame.

Brighton Snack?

A Brighton Snack is a posh name for a visit to the Massage Parlour.

Gammon Ears

I've come across the word "spotty" in some British literature. At times it seems to mean "pimply-faced" but other times something closer to "cowardly." Is this Brit slang? What is the etymology - anything to do with smallpox?

If, despite being generally quick on the uptake, you unexpectedly commit a social faux pas because you have competely misunderstood something, you can be said to have "gammon ears". An example might be mistaking a foolish word game for a genuine etymological discussion. (I have never heard of "spotty" meaning "cowardly" though.)

Someone once complimented me on my Cat's toenails. Should I be offended?

On the contrary. The phrase 'Cat's Toenails' ranks highly in the Idiomatic Chart, just below 'the Bee's Knees' if I recall, and considerably higher than 'the Dog's Bollocks'.

Talking of which, I am experiencing some bonding difficulties with my boyfriend's schnauzer. A West Byfleet Purfling Cobnut has been recommended but must confess to being too embarrassed to purchase one. Should I be?

West Byfleet Purfling Cobnuts are "Cobnuts" made by Purfling Ltd, a veterinarian toy manufacturer based in West Byfleet. Cobnuts are very much like scented doughnuts that can be hung from your belt. If you do this, your boyfriend's schnauzer will be your friend for life. The downside is that you will have to put up with smelling like a dog's arse.

I recently won a raffle. Someone referred to me as a Poncho Flinger. At the time I thought it was a complement...?