Aussie term for one who wrestles crocodiles for the amusement of tourists.

Namibian Knot

Something I'd rather not know to do with circumcision rituals.

Is this now a Moribund Entertainment?

By that, do you mean
a Norwegian Blue?

A Norweign Blue and a moribund entertainment are referring to the activity but as seen from across the gender divide.
A norweign blue was a prank developed by the female students of Oslo University. During rag week they stood by traffic lights in the buff, when the front cars stoppped male drivers were then offered a bucket of cold water, a soapy sponge and 30 seconds to rub the student down.
What Raak refered to is the jealous wives in the passenger seat death like, arms folded and grim ashen faced not looking.

My brother who is more widely travelled is rumoured to have had a great time with a Swindon plank is this possible?

Only if one is into necrophilia.

Someone I met in a bar urged me to Repurpose my assets. I backed away slowly -- did I do the right thing?

I think it is highly likely that you did precisely the right thing. It's a a gay chatup line.

Years ago I was offered a Rum Baba. I had no idea how to conceal my awful ignorance.

A Rum Baba, at least if you come from Wales, New Zealand or Australia, is a strange (read very strange) sheep. Whilst we are on the subject of strange phrases, I was up the local shops the other day and one of the proprietors mentiond a Virtual Ending. Did I hear this correctly, or is there something that I am missing?

You're not missing anything, although someone else may be. A Virtual Ending is when two people in bed together amicably decide, for whatever reason, that it's not going to work, and just have a snuggle instead.

I recently heard a birdwatcher mention sighting a Trunnion's Warbler. It's not listed in any reference book I've looked at. What is it?

Twitchers' slang originally for a magpie, now applied to any common bird. An amateur birdwatcher called Goately Trunnion famously excited the ornithological world with reports of a pair of Pied Blue-winged Azalea Warblers (thought to be extinct) in his Wimbledon garden. They turned out to be magpies, to Trunnion's eternal shame.

Brighton Snack?

A Brighton Snack is a posh name for a visit to the Massage Parlour.

Gammon Ears

I've come across the word "spotty" in some British literature. At times it seems to mean "pimply-faced" but other times something closer to "cowardly." Is this Brit slang? What is the etymology - anything to do with smallpox?

If, despite being generally quick on the uptake, you unexpectedly commit a social faux pas because you have competely misunderstood something, you can be said to have "gammon ears". An example might be mistaking a foolish word game for a genuine etymological discussion. (I have never heard of "spotty" meaning "cowardly" though.)

Someone once complimented me on my Cat's toenails. Should I be offended?

On the contrary. The phrase 'Cat's Toenails' ranks highly in the Idiomatic Chart, just below 'the Bee's Knees' if I recall, and considerably higher than 'the Dog's Bollocks'.

Talking of which, I am experiencing some bonding difficulties with my boyfriend's schnauzer. A West Byfleet Purfling Cobnut has been recommended but must confess to being too embarrassed to purchase one. Should I be?

West Byfleet Purfling Cobnuts are "Cobnuts" made by Purfling Ltd, a veterinarian toy manufacturer based in West Byfleet. Cobnuts are very much like scented doughnuts that can be hung from your belt. If you do this, your boyfriend's schnauzer will be your friend for life. The downside is that you will have to put up with smelling like a dog's arse.

I recently won a raffle. Someone referred to me as a Poncho Flinger. At the time I thought it was a complement...?

One who pretends never to have won anything, never to enter competitions or lotteries, but regularly receives prizes. My mother was one such. The expression derives from the habits of Poncho-brandishing Mexican entrepreneur Don Garcia Alfonso Alhambra, the founder of the Alhambra cinema chain, who ran well-publicised weekly raffles in his cinemas but always won the raffles himself under various assumed names.

Pencil Sharpener

Circumcision knife.

Black & Decker

. . . is the name of the duo recently formed by celebrity redheads Cilla Black [of Liverpewl] and Carol Decker [of T'Pau]. Their debut rap single, produced and mixed by DJ Workmate, will be released in time for the Christmas season and will be titled 'Screw you - bosch bosch'.

On a recent caravan holiday, I was offered Camping Gaz. As it was my last day, I demurred. Was I wise?

[Chalky] You sure that wasn't Camping Gazza, a time-wasting caravan game where people do combination impressions of two famous people? So named for the first one attempted -- Lionel Blair + Paul Gascoigne.

What about chippolata slogging?

A reduced form of the game Hide the Salami (qv)

Aberdeen Galloper?

This term refers to someone who enjoys riding horses wearing only a kilt to protect their modesty. Saddles for Aberdeen Galloping are usually covered in metal studs, and Gallopers usually whip themselves while they are riding while screaming, "Oh yes!" in high-pitched squeals.

In the United States, an Aberdeen Galloper more usually refers to someone who has participated in the annual race between all three Aberdeens, in Washington, South Dakota and Maryland. No form of motor transport may be used during this race - any violations of this rule lead to being summarily shot by the race officials.

In the meantime, what is a meaty palm?

One which is holding a salami.

Who goes nogging the nog, and why?