And this one I heard in the Army There was an old man of the Isles Who had measles, consumption and piles On top of all these, Yes - venereal disease You could smell the old bugger for miles.
Found this anonymus pearl at the side of a statue of Winston Churchill: There was a young man from Dundee who said: "They can't do without me. No house is complete, without me and my seat. My initials are W.C." (Must be an alternativa Winston...?)
There's a chap from the Mull of Kintyre Who does dubious things with barbed wire I could tell you a tale That would make you go pale But you'd probably call me a liar.
[Marc] I believe Winston lost the seat of Oldham early in his career, and got 'parachuted' in to represent Dundee as a way of returning to the Commons.
Where I hoped an opener on MCIOS might go... If you like, I'll put in a word That you'd like to play Richard the Third On the Lyttleton stage Despite your old age Though there's bugger all chance you'll be heard
So Theresa has gone off to Brussels For a feed of hot chips and steamed mussels To seek a new deal At a Head-of-State meal Getting nowhere, for all that she hustles
It sounds like the real thing, for sure But will its works really endure? Or does its success Mean that we must confess That "real" poetry's just as obscure?
(Reusing old stuff is not a sin) I'm writing this verse 'coz I'm bored using time that I cannot afford so much else I should do such as sit on the loo and flush when I once find the cord
The difference between Johnson and Hunt Is that Boris is awfully blunt And will say things, I bet, That he'll later regret, And the other's a bit of a lookalike for Kenneth Williams when he looks sideways, don't you think?
Chalky and CdM started this off in t'other game, which inspired me to try and finish it better than was managed there. It may not have succeeded... I hail from the island of Crete Where minotaurs roam in the street Whom Theseus fights On Saturday nights An attraction that's quite hard to beat.
An inventor of games, Erno Rubik Made his name with a toy that was cubic He said its creation, Was rife with frustration He tore out his hair, all of it