A friend posted this one somewhere else A prudent young schoolgirl named Lucy who wanted to do something juicy along with a dude undressed herself nude and stepped in a juice-filled Jacuzzi
There once was a farmer from Polk Who made a trade for a pig in a poke Though what I cannot divine Is word he'd butchered the swine When the sack held no pig ... what's the joke?
A pilot I know from Phuket Had Baked beans but had to regret As this enormous fart broke t'propeller apart Now he's feeding a biofuel jet (Hi Geo, nice to see you are on the air again!
'Tra-la-la!' I declaimed, and 'Tee hee!' 'Woo-hoo!' and 'Ha-ha!' and 'Yippee!' Then later, 'Oh, cock!' Once I'm not on the clock And need no more simulate glee
Time to rewrite a Limerick from October 2014: An athlete of deeds meritorious, Whose life had been largely victorious, Fired on quite regardless - Dolus eventualis - Guilty of murder inglorious
As a brief diversion from lecherous Limericks, a lecherous Shakespearian haiku: My Love doth me wrong— But still, 'tis better than not doing me at all.
Time for a Christmas carol: Away in a manger, a child Was born and grew up meek and mild But when he turned thirty He got rather shirty And was nailed up for making folks wild.
We three kings of Orient are With these gifts we have come from afar Myrrh, frankincense, gold For we have foretold By the light of yon wandering star.