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Limerick Showcase
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A chance for players to showcase whole limericks for amusement & edification. Standard winning move for the purposes of euthanasia.
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Infra Red Spectroscopy
From messing with quantums we glean
That symmetrical modes can't be seen
Asymmetrical change
Dipole moments derange
And a sharp peak's revealed to the keen.

Raman Spectroscopy
A laser makes the bonds vibrate
Just like infra red does. But wait!
With a polarized glow
Only symetric modes show
Which chemists find a useful trait

Because when both techniques are used on the same sample it can remove the need for dicking around with bond extinction coefficients and make structural analysis a matter of mental ball-and-stick topography. Result!

"Let's go to the ice-cap" he said.
"We're British! We can't end up dead!"
Well, the ice got a grip
So we cut up the ship
What we needed by then was a sled.


A question both deep and profound
Is whether a circle is round
In a paper by Erdös
Written in Kurdish
A counterexample is found

Not mine, this one, of course
Which reminds me of this mnemonic one I wrote more than a decade ago:

How I wish I could calculate pi!
Assess twice the ambit. Simplify:
Bisecting through
Canceling two
As the diameter thou divide by.

[CdM] Tremendous!

Möbius bands
A mathematician confided
That a Möbius band is one-sided
And you get quite a laugh
If you cut one in half
For it stays in one piece when divided.

(Anon)

A mathematician named Klein
Thought the Möbius band was divine
He said "If you glue
The edges of two
You get a weird bottle like mine."

(Leo Moser)


I do hope Attila the Stockbroker doesn't mind me posting one that he's just put on Facebook:

A smelly, stub filled old ashtray.
Badly kept Greene King IPA.
Grim, pinched-face psychosis.
Severe halitosis.
That's Faragery in the UK.


A bunch of editor-types with what I correspond came up with a deadly set of alternative lyrics for 'God Save The Queen' but about Oscar Pistorius. It started...
Oscar Pistorius
Short through a door for us
Girlfriend injurious...

I don't think it got an ending because we all decided we would all go straight to hell if we finished it.
Keep up the good work, chaps.
oh, and
Inspired by penelope and other editor-types

An athlete of deeds meritorious,
Whose life had been largely victorious,
With blind gunshots multiple -
Homicide Culpable -
Guilty of acts most inglorious


I like the # one.
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