"When landing on water", they said, (and presumably not being dead) "Remove your jacket from its packet and place it over your head." The last three lines are, word for word, part of the script for Ryanair's safety demonstrations, which sound like part of a Limerick every time I hear them (>50 times in the last four years), even though the scansion is, admittedly, a bit stretched.
[penelope] Heard it again today on the way back to GC from England, and have to make a small correction: it's "Remove the jacket". Doesn't help the scansion though.
Another from a friend... This young man at graduate school Did find a red ring ‘round his tool He went to a clinic The doctor was cynic: ”Can´t you see it´s just lipstick your fool!”
The proper version... There was a young girl from Aberystwyth Who took grain to the mill to get grist with But the miller's son Jack Lay her flat on her back And united the organs they pissed with. The first "y" in Aberystwyth is actually a schwa. Too bad
I've been a wild rover, I fear But the end of my roving draws near For I'm clean out of dosh And I drink orange squash 'Cos my insides were ruined by beer
The first valve is pressed firmly down And the music it moves round and round Then it comes out from here In a tone bright and clear (It began as a lip-farting sound)
I've a love of the tenor trombone And in that I don't think I'm alone For some it's The Valve That's their musical salve It's The Slide that puts me in The Zone