I’m stuck with my Siamese twin When he’s going out then I’m coming in He was screwing this miss And of course got all bliss But I just got blisters on my foreskin.
Timon gave all his money away So his debts he could no longer pay His friends all proved false So he left Athens' walls And struck gold, but then died anyway.
Eve was the apple of Adams eye, And he was so fond of apple pie, When the snake one day said: Eat that pie - you'll be dead He ate all, now he’s dead, and that’s why...
“I use a naughty lim’rick diet To enhance my libido at night; Helps the ol’ blood flow too,” Endorsed Mr. MaGoo, “And it’s done wondrous things for my sight.”
There now follows a sad tale of poor customer service in the Himalayas: I once met an ill-tempered yak Who configured my girlfriend's new Mac He charged twenty quid For all that he did But I think I want fifteen quid back.
One might think that Will's lost the plot Milk freezes yet crabs sizzle hot As Love's Labour ends Drear 'Winter' attends And greasy Joan still keels the pot
On the moor a green lantern glows, Midst heather's scent the cold sea breeze blows, Waves were a crashin’ The clans be a clashin’ The mist lift and gray daylight grows...