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I don't know; I didn't listen!
help
It's at times like this I wish I had listened to what my mother told me.
Rise and Shine, Morning's fine, Sun's shining bright enough to burn your bleeding eyes out.
What my father might have said on a morning like this
If you need something done, ask a busy person.
It's a knack.
My mother's universal explanation of how to perform any physical skill.
A stitch in time saves nine going in through one ear and out the other like water off a duck's back.
It'll stay like that!
A warning against the dreadful dangers of pulling faces.
You are not going out of the house wearing that!
If you don't watch out and spit it out, you'll swallow that seed, and don't you come complaining to me when there's an orange tree growing out of your tummy.
Go and take a long walk off a short pier.
Shh....the cat's peeing.
According to my father, something his father would say during a lull in the converation.
There's no point sinking the ship for a ha'porth of tar.
One of my dad's
What is thunder?...that's just God rearranging his furniture up there; He's pushing His sea chest to the other side of Heaven.
What do you think this is, bush week?
Somebody's going to wind up crying.
I'm making a wing-wong for a goose's bridle.
In answer to "What are you doing, Mummy?"
[irach, seeds] It was watermelon pips, here.
You must have been born in a field!
Said when one left the door of a room open.
[Raak] "...in a barn" in our family
Shurrup or I'll bash your face in - a favourite of my mother's.
Come on, you could get a tank through there!
A favourite of my dad's when somebody in front wasn't quick enough moving into a gap in traffic. Thing is, he used to work for the MOD on Salisbury Plain, so he'd know ...
I could do that quoth my Dad whenever a snooker player on TV missed a shot.
Just taking seamanlike precautions.
(Mrs INJ's dad when going to the loo before going out - and yes, he was a sailor)
You'd better brush those teeth, and make them clean and shiny, or else the tooth fairy won't leave you anything for them when they fall out.
Wear it (them) in good health. (Accompanied each gift of clothing or jewelry)
This was in one of Max Boyce's routines, but I always liked it
Fine! Go play your stupid rugby. But if you break both your legs, don't come running home to me.
If you pick your nose any more, you'll strike oil.
Come on, you could drive a bus up here! My father, urging me to climb up a steep hill behind him.
If you do that again I'll make you smile on the other side of your face. My mother's favourite preparation for a sharp slap.
Der landschaft ist mit schnee bedeckt! My mother, whenever it snows overnight. She claims it's the only thing she remembers from one year of German lessons at school (in about 1948)
In response to a burp:
Pardon me for being rude
It was not me, it was my food
It just popped up to say hello
And now it's gone back down below.
Don't make me come in there...
Aye, and when tha's finished peeling potaytoes, tha can peel t' bloody peel. For some reason my Welsh father always delivered that one in a Yorkshire accent
Another lovely day!
Another one of my mum's, after a woman she knew who had moved to India, in the 1960s, with her husband who had been posted there with work. After about 6 weeks in India, the servants opened the shutters one morning and she declared the astonished line above. Hence my mum uses it whenever there is a spell of 3 or 4 days of blue sky in a row.
You're just like your mother! My father, to my brother, subtly implying that cfm was more like himself, of course.
Laughing leads to crying. My late mum in law's favourite.
It's all coming back to me now, as the boy scout said when the wind changed.
Oi! Cloth-ears!
Worse things happen at sea.
Sneeze of the truth.
Better out than in.
There's enough blue sky to make a pair of trousers for a sailor. A very optimistic view of a tiny break in the cloud cover (generally during family holidays in North Wales)
It's all a matter of taste, as the man said when he kissed the cow. A favorite of my father's. I later discovered that it can be found in Don Quixote.
It's cold enough for a fur-lined walking stick. My late dad's winter comment.
It'll all end in sick and tears. One of Mrs INJ's favourites, but originally from her mother - generally about a film or TV programme.
......s! I've shot 'em (one of my father's when he came across any particularly shoddy piece of work or poor service; as in 'Cooks! I've shot 'em'.
You won't die! (mother, in response to a variety of mild childhood traumas). OK so far.
I'll go and jump in the clock! - apparently a favourite from my late paternal grandmother, and, no, my Dad doesn't know what she was getting at either
... and one for aunt Aggie. My mother adding spoons of tea to the pot, though I don't remember any aunt with that name.
Pull my finger!   Thanks Dad!
Quis!, my dad would should with his hands behind his back. The first son (of 3) to shout "Ego!" would get the treat - chocolate, sweets etc.
Keep that. Come in 'andy even if you never use it. (Work colleague/technician/jack of all trades).
Arsenal!
my dad, whenever anyone sneezed, in tribute to Eric 'n' Ernie
What a der-brain! (Sung to the tune of the Hallelujah chorus)
My dad again, prior to contemporary theories on raisinf kids' self-esteem
[Projoy] Well if we're bringing out child abuse, I used to get called "You silly, twisted boy" (a Grytpype-Thynne line, I believe) by my dad, and my mum's go-to threat to make me behave was "I'll bash your face in", which I've discovered works on my own children (the empty threat, that is) :-)
Only boring people get bored Still wonder about the veracity of that one .. I have been known to say it to my own daughters
Sowing plums to catch medlars, which I haven't heard myself, but I've heard of it being used as a reply to "What are you doing, mummy?"
(Projoy) At work in the early '70s it was the Caprolactam Chorus.
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