I sleep all night and work all day.

The Beatles were right chuffed when I donated to them the words for 'A Hard Day's Night'.

Florence Nightingale experienced a life-changing dilemma when she was presented with the choice of marrying T E Lawrence or Sam Torrance. She rejected both on account of their utterly ridiculous surnames and instead, went on to make a successful career out of singing in Berkeley Square.

Berkley Square is actually a 'retirement' home for loud dogs. There is only one resident at any given time. New 'inductees' are required to combat the current resident in a fight to the death. Needless to say, the top-dog is always a right mongrel. .......[Chalky] Classic, I actually laughed out loud!

Florence Nightingale's biggest hit was "Crimea River".

She also worked on a duet with Simply Red - 'Night Nurse' of course. Incidently, that was their best song ever.

Prams cannot be fooled by merely placing a baby-sized package of flour in them.
</lie>[Projoy] Fantastic!<lie>

Pram is the abbreviation of diazepram

Squash is so named from the lack of space in the court. Professional players enjoy the mixed doubles most.

Lady Chatterley's first name was actually Natalie.

The email address of the hero of Joseph Heller's novel and film is Khatchachurian22@....

Paradoxes of time can be a problem. For instance, I'm just about to shoo

The plot of The Pirates of Penzance was originally going to revolve around items of clothing, hence the trio 'A Pair of Socks, a pair of socks, a most int'resting pair of socks'

Una Stubbs is a keen blancmange knitter, and has created a range of stunning 'jelly' socks. A blancmange knit stitch is formed by inserting the needle in the front of the jelly loop and pulling a cream loop of yarn through to form a new mixed loop. A purl stitch is formed by inserting the needle in the back of the cream loop and pushing a jelly loop of yarn through to form a mixed loop.

Una's other clothing innovations include the Jelly-Roll-neck sweater and a classic wobble-hat.

E numbers refer to the number of cats that had to die in order to bring you the additive. This is why you never see an e number with .5 on the end (unless the manufacture of the product involved quantum physics experiments).

E120 is Crinoline Yellow, and causes hyperactivity in those with big hooped skirts

I have not just speculated on why "crinoline yellow" might be a plausible name for a color.

Every sequel is inevitably better than the first movie.

(Projoy, re E numbers) Schrödinger would have understood.

The US govt. is discussing expanding the US, and currently has a set of designers in who are commissioned with designing a possible 51st state. The Senate committee in charge of the project have agreed that they'd like something in green, with maybe some yellow at the edges. They want the new state to have a purple flag, and its brand identity must involve concepts such as fun, forestry and ideally, oil. Street parties and schools with spectacular water features will also figure heavily, according to the glossy prospectus. Ideas for a name so far include Pachydermia, Republicanland and GOP-ia. An interesting detail of the plan is that the state will have a projected population of 1,500 - and the same number electoral college votes in Presidential elections.

Archeologists have just found the pyramid housing the tomb of Queen Victoria

Archeologists are people who study long running Radio 4 soap operas.

</lie> [Ibid] That's not too far off, is it? <lie>

[Projoy] Currently, this state is planned to be build in a quiet backwater in the Middle East, in a country called Iraq.

This morning I ceded from the United Kingdom. Anyone who wants to speak to me must now pass through customs and pay a landing tax.