mc5 - ... so help me God.

My brother has an extemely large cock, which he has to carry around in a wheelbarrow. I don't think he keeps poultry though.

The replacement of the plumbing term "ball cock" with "float valve" is no loss to comedy whatsoever.

I have recently had to stop wearing pants after the neighbours complained about the noise.

Since I am not on holiday for a week I shall be able to post lots of lies.

[Boolbar] I, for one, am overjoyed for your lack of lies. </lie> Enjoy your holiday. <lie>

When Billy Connolly retires the 'f' word will disappear from the Scottish language - or the language of the Scots, whatever/whichever you prefer!

There is a forthcoming Hollywood blockbuster called'Squirrelzilla'. It stars Morgan Freeman and Dame Judi Dench.

Last night I had a nighmare about an antique hand-crafted Meershaum Briar. It transpired, however, that it was all just a pipe dream.

I have just watched a football match between Dagenham and Redbridge and Brighton and Hove Albion, but 44 players on the pitch made it too confusing.

Don't forget there are only 3 days until Xmas.

Unless you're Orthodox, then it was last month. Damn that Julian Calendar!