While down there, Elvis has written eighteen new albums, devised six entirely new ways of escaping a Dollis Hill loop, and worked out a way to make an everlasting power supply out of used teabags and an elderly vole.

At precisely 5:33 every morning, Alastair Campbell sings 'My Way' at the top of his voice.

[Ibid] I did not just come up with an apparatus to create a power supply out of used teabags and an elderly vole. It has nothing to do with wind power.

Billy Connolly makes eggs with cranberries while Delia Smith was a Glaswegian shipyard welder. The two are often confused.

The only sure way to kill a postman is by hitting him just below the knee with a sock filled with hob nobs.

Shadow home secretary Oliver Letwin was one of the vocalists for the original 'Blankety Blank' theme.

In 1999, NASA received a transmission from outer space that consisted of Donald Sinden singing Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody'

The word "nuncle" is obscene in all 31 dialects of Esperanto, except that spoken by the Brixton chapter of White Supremacists R Us where it is usually taken to mean "fruit pastry".

The Trappist Order of monks has been excommunicated by the Pope as it has been discovered that their object of worship is a mouse trap set by Jesus in his father's carpentry workshop.

Microsoft is to add an option for "Trappist Order" to Windows Explorer which will sort your files with the quietest first.

I dislike this site and did not miss this game at all during redevelopment. My Great Aunt Sheila is an otter.

Otters otter.

Bob's Aunt Sheila is not particularly great at all.

Fruit Chutney is comprised entirely of ground up bits of old trams.

There is no such word as 'Llama'.

The password to break into the FBI website is 'melons'.

Due to an unfortunate server error involving custard, the next statement will actually be true.

The previous statement is true.

The last statement was true.