Nanette Newman came round for a cup of fairy liquid this morning. She had been in a coma for 7 weeks, having been knocked unconscious by her own bra in a bizarre skateboarding accident. The soapy aroma of fairy-soft suds soon did the trick.

Flying Down to Rio was filmed in technichrome, allowing for a very exciting full range of greys.

Oranges are the only fruit. Apples and bananas are just pretending.

Stiff Records folded after the creation of the floppy disk.

The Victorians suppressed the hitherto unpublished last chapter of the Bible after Revelations, where Eve wakes up and sees Adam in the shower.

There are silverfish who live in Barnstaple who are trying to steal my hair.

Yesterday, G.W.Bush officially announced to the U.N. that the U.S.of A. was no longer the most powerful nation in the world, but no one heard him as his P.A. wouldn't work.