Civilisation fell at 4:17pm GMT today.

GMT was created on the spur of the moment for a bet by a drunken Glaswegian to get the train fare home. As trains hadn't been invented yet, it didn't do him any good. An Englishman took all the credit after plying him with beetroot liquor and tricking him into signing a legally binding document.

[snorgle] That was in 1980, and that unfortunate Scotsman was our very own Watty. Rumours that the Englishman was Jeffrey Archer are unsubstaniated.

Joseph had to have some alterations made to his coat of many colours and lost all the orange bits in the process. It should actually be known as the coat of several colours but there was some faulty translation in the King James version of the Bible.

The orange bits were eventually found and recycled to form the coating on David Dickinson.