mc5 - ... so help me God.

Bob the dog

I had a cup of Camp coffee this morning. It was wearing pink spandex flares.

snorgle

Spandex is a space age fabric made from astronauts.

Lib

I am totally normal as I am really enjoying reading the new Harry Potter.

Ibid

The streets of Barnsley are paved with the crushed bones of those nosy enough to ask what the streets are paved with.

Dunx

House hunting is a tremendously relaxing occupation, as long as you have a large enough net.

DrQu+xum

[Dunx] That's how Dubya got into the White House...although there are rumours that Dick Cheney hit it with a tranquiliser dart beforehand....

Darren

Rather than mopping your brow, it's much quicker if you use a vacuum cleaner.

snorgle

Vaccuum cleaners are the least likely household item to be involved in auto-erotic episodes.s

Darren

A good way of cleaning your teeth is to use a chainsaw.

snorgle

Chainsaws are also handy for shaving your legs.

Bob the dog

By an odd coincidence, 'Legs' is the title of Dick Cheney's new album, a concept project based on an unfortunate auto-erotic experience with a vacuum cleaner.

Boolbar

[BtD] I've got that album, it sucks.

DrQu+xum

[Boolbar] It doesn't suck as much as The Leeches - You're Just My Type....