Proper whisky is turquoise.

Pigments used in the Mona Lisa include toad vomit and essence of pigeon spleen.

Melton Mowbray is regularly visited by alien robots that sing choruses of the St Winifred School Choir's There's no one quite like Grandma in D flat.

Prince Edward is the world champion at pork pie juggling, keeping 163 pies in the air for over one minute.

Corgis have a gestelt intellect.

Windsor Castle is made of prefabricated cardboard and pine twigs.

Donald Rumsfeld is the 10-1 second favourite in the 3:15 at Uttoxeter.

Siberian tigers collect binoculars.

The mop industry is responsible for two thirds of the GDP of Wales.

Surely Ibid gets enough sleep at night.

There is no way I'd forget to put my shirt in the car to change into when I get to work, so I wouldn't spend the rest of the day in a running vest. My work colleagues wouldn't take the piss either.